Vicodin trouble

[bill]

I am 40 year old writer and word processor.  I have used opiates for about two decades, but I stopped using any "street" ones after having a child 3 years ago.  The problem is that my dependency on vicodin is very severe.  I actually have back pain so I can obtain the es vicodin from my doctor occasionally.  But I can also purchase them black market easily, which I have been doing constantly for the last year and a half.  I started taking Vicodins to stop doing Percocets and Dilaudid.  I have used Percocet on and off since 1983.  When I had dental trouble early this year, I had access to about 200 Lorcet and Vicodin in one month.  Legitimately.  Otherwise I can purchase anything on the black market very easily.  

The problem is that my dependency builds and I become very difficult and horrible to be around when I try to space the doses.  When I take the drug at first I function fine and am able to   I usually build up to about 7 vicodin es a day and then have to stop cold turkey (2 in the daytime, about 4-5 at night).  The stop/start happens a lot, even with so-called occasional recreational "weekend use".  It is shattering me the cold turkey.  There are periods where I use narcotics about a 4-6 weeks (vicodin and lately oxycontin) then I have to stop and it is so shattering.  

Many years ago I tried NA and it doesn't work for me.  I also do not want to be put on shrink meds by a psychiatrist. What am I doing to myself medically?  Because of life circumstances I don't see myself being able to stop soon.  What is happening and what can I do?

[tom to Dan]

tell me about the narcotic agonist therapy. I believe you're talking about the partial agonist, buprenorphin (or LAAM?). My question is, if you still have chronic pain that doesn't respond to anything but opiates, will the buprenorphin or LAAM provide analgesia as well as stopping the narco cravings? I know methadone is a good pain reliever and is also used to treat addiction, but I don't know if they give it out in such dosages that it will serve as a pain reliever and addiction treatment. Also, will I have to go to an addiction specialist or can I go to my regular doctor? Is it meant as a temporary therapy (since I have chronic pain which is definately not temporary)?. By the way, without wearing out my keyboard, I've exhausted the non-narcotic therapies for my back condition. When another comes along, I'll try it. But until then, I simply can't function without effective pain relief and only opiates have been able to provide that. I'd appreciate your time to answer my questions. Thanks in advance.

[questioning...]

I come in here at times to find smoking addiction answers.
I feel for all who are going through the prescription drug struggles i read about here.
I just want to say that there must be a way for you to live your life free from drugs.
I also have chronic pain. Yes, I know what pain is. But even though I could be on strong painkillers, I choose not to be.
This is so sad in reading these posts.
I wonder, and want to ask some of those here, how on earth did you finally quit the abuse?
This is sad.

[questioning...]

I come in here at times to find smoking addiction answers.
I feel for all who are going through the prescription drug struggles i read about here.
I just want to say that there must be a way for you to live your life free from drugs.
I also have chronic pain. Yes, I know what pain is. But even though I could be on strong painkillers, I choose not to be.
This is so sad in reading these posts.
I wonder, and want to ask some of those here, how on earth did you finally quit the abuse?
This is sad.

[barbara to pain and lortab]

Whew! What a speech! All I have to say is I hate pain and suffering and I love euphoria and feeling good. The last actual euphoria I felt was in Super-Typhoon Paka three years ago.

I depise pain, seizures and especially the DT's! Luckily I have no more DT's but I still have break through seizures and a chronic pain disorder that at times makes me want to kill.

I would rather get rid of the pain, elevate my mood if possible sounds fine to me,(Nothing wrong with being in a good mood, in my opinion)!

The good news is, I am off work early today in a few minutes and am preparing to head to the jungle for meditation, relaxation and doing one of my many hobbies, this one being looking for rare plants. I plan to take my usual dose of 2 mg Klonopin, two -50 mg Ultrum, and two 30 mg Codeine added once I make it to the jungle.

Yes. this may seem a bit much but I would like to see you tromp through the jungle in 88 degree heat and 94 percent humidity. The Klonopin helps get rid of the break through seizures and acts as a muscle relaxant which is very important in the jungle.

The Ultram kills the pain very well, the codiene helps too but adds an extra boost of mood elevation which is important to me because I communicate with God or meditate, if you prefer to call it that, and I feel close to nature and God when I am in a higher state of hypnotic mind set.

I just recently read that 50 mg of Ultram is the same as 60 mg of Codeine! I was suprised at that but now understand why it kills the pain better than codiene.

If this bothers you, well then I guess you will suffer being bothered while I will have my fun and enjoyment in the jungle. War and Poverty are borthersome too but I don't go around obsessing over them or I would definately never have fun!

Thanks for the advice though, although I doubt I will change my lifestyle over it. I quit drinking. That was my main downfall and now I am not even tempted since I have the correct pain killers and mood elevators. Thank you.

Barbara

[Frankinscense]

I was pill addict for several years. You name it in the narcotic department I took it. Doses very high I do not even care to mention. Pain pills take your free will away. You live on the pills agenda and not your own. My passion is due to the fact that  there are lives on the line here. My zeal as you put is not new for I am six years clean from the pain pill rat race. Opiate agonist treatment is what saved me. They take away your cravings and let you live a life free of chasing a high. My heart goes out to all of you and simply want to pass on a bit of useful information. It wasn't until last year that I decided to go into a helping profession. I hope that with my knowledge and the grace of god I can help some people with this disease of drug addiction. My best to all. Until next time....
Sincerely,
Dan S. (lcdc intern)

[tom to Dan the licensed chem dependency]

A gentle suggestion: if you