I found this site last weekend. I didn't really know where else to go. This site has helped me SO much. I am surprised to find so many people in the same situation as me and it is so helpful to have support from those that have been there!
Anyway, I am trying to do a taper. I think I may have underestimated how many pills I was taking. I literally count the time until my next dose, am sweating, tired, and have to talk myself out of taking just "one more." I guess I am wondering if all of this is normal or if I am cutting back to much. I really WANT off of these and am trying to be strong. I have 2 little kids at home so I can't just rest. Will this get any easier???
You should talk to your doc about a tapering plan. Tapering is easier on your body but draws out the mental side of detox. And most of us can't taper alone (as you're finding out). If possible, have someone you trust hold your pills and give you the agreed upon amount at the agreed apon times of day. My taper lasted for 10 minutes - knowing that more pills were right down the hall was too much for me. And to be honest, it probably won't get easier during the next couple of days. However, it DOES get wonderful once you are clean.
When you are finished with the physical detox we can help with the mental part - the most difficult. Let me toss this out - be sure all access to pills is cut. When you detox your head will talk to you - tempt you. When this starts you can't have access to meds or you may relapse.
You may be cutting back too fast. It is a slow and steady process. You cut back a little and give your body time to get used to it. That means days, not one or two days. I wish I could share more, but tapering schedules are not permitted.
Hi there! In my opinion a slow and steady taper, with a doctors support Is really the best way to go! Unfortunately, for me I simply couldn't do it! Tapering will be much easier on your body and with trying to keep up with the 2 kiddos! Slow and steady is the key!
Take care, and continue to post for advice and support! Wishing you all the best!
Tapering is hard to do because you know that all you have to do to feel better is take just a little bit more. It does help to have someone hold the doses for you because having access to it drives you mentally crazy. What exactly were you taking, how long, and how much? That really matters in your decision to taper or go cold turkey.
Whatever you decide, I pray that you stick with it. I look back to when my son was young and all he lost out on because of my addictions. I can never get back those times; no chance for a "Re-do." Now he is an angry young man with a family of his own, and he is always angry with me. Everything is my fault according to him. After only 2 days of sobriety, I think he's probably right.
Children are a precious gift. We owe it to them to be conscious and sober; don't you agree?
Yes, I totally owe it to my kids and husband. I am trying to keep them at the forefront of my mind to will me to keep with the plan. They are so important to me and I love them so much. I am so embarrassed....I was taking anywhere from 16-20 of the 30mg oxy's. I was not paying attention and just taking them whenever. How could I do this?? I am so ashamed of myself. I decided this was enough, I can't live like this and I don't want to! I have gotten down to between 12-15 for the past few weeks or so. Now, I am sticking to a schedule and taking them every 4 hours or longer if I can. I am at such a high dose that cold turkey would be very difficult with 2 small kids at home. I have to get to a lower dose and then maybe I could just jump off. Any words of encouragement would help. I am so ashamed of myself.
Lovemomof2 - me again :) It sounds like you have a great taper plan and good for you for sticking to it!!!! That's the hardest part! Like you said, you were on a very high dose so I think you're doing the right thing by weaning slowly. And you have made GREAT progress. Just keep at it. Are you feeling a "buzz" from the pills at all now that you're taking such a lower dose than usual? From what I've been told, you shouldn't feel a buzz on a taper schedule. You should only take enough to not feel sick. That's what I struggle with. I feel like I'm wasting the pills when I take them and don't feel a buzz off them. Crazy I know! If you can wait to take your first dose of the day until you really really need them, like you're feeling sick and having withdrawal symptoms, that's the best. Not like I'm one to be giving advise since I can't seem to take my own but I have ready a whole lot about tapering/weaning. I just wish I could sucessfully do it! Good for you. I hope you give yourself some credt for how far you've come. Even if you fall back now-and-then. That's bound to happend so don't beat yourself up. GREAT JOB! Keep on it!!!!!! Thanks for being an inspiration to me and probably others.
Don't feel ashamed. It can't help now and may make matters worse. Just vow that you are going to beat this. Take it one day at a time. Hour by hour if you have to. You can beat this! Post as often as you need to and someone will be here to talk or walk you through.
Thanks for your encouragement!!! It helps! Taking it hour by hour, or minute by minute. I am remembering that i can do this or really feel bad and stop cold turkey which would probably put me in the hospital. It comes in waves, sometimes I feel weak and then I seem to feel a bit better. Just trying to distract myself the best I can.
By the time I couldn't afford in more ways than one to continue with my Rx abuse (and off the street), I was taking 20-25 lortabs a day, soma if I could get it, 80 mg of an anti-depressant which I was abusing when I tried to taper and a nerve damage pill for damaged nerves before I was able to get back surgery.
I was ashamed of myself, too. I guess guilt is another word I confuse with shame, but I have learned that there is a purpose for that emotion......to motivate us to change. A saying I heard that made me laugh was, "the only person who likes change is a baby with a wet diaper!" Relate?
Anyway, I had to at least taper down to 10 or 12 since coming off 20-25 scared me to death! No one but my husband knew and he was my pill gatekeeper (giver-outter, ha). Anyway, once I got down to a certain amt, I think about 10 (which is still ridiculous for a non-addict), I freaked. I thought I couldn't breath right. Hubby called ambulance. I had 100% oxygen saturation all the way to the hospital and they only drew blood, said I was having a panic attack and dismissed me. I am not the type of woman to hyperventilate just because I'm anxious. I truly identified a 12-16 hr period where my breathing was just rapid and freaking my heart out.
Anyway, I called my P.A. from the hospital and she got me in to see a dr who was authorized to prescribe suboxone. I went the next day.
Long story short, didn't care for it or the dr. but feel it got me thru 2 wks that I don't know what they would have been like otherwise. I really hated the feeling I had which I hear is highly unusual....it's suppose to take away the horrid w/d symptoms w/i 20 min according to my dr that gave the Rx.
Didn't happen for me. I was really sick. Keep in mind I had been abusing my anti-depressant (80 mg was my daily dose and I was taking at least 5x that much and also abusing my nerve damage pill call gabapentin which helps with damaged nerves but affect the gaba receptors in your brain.
I think the reason I didn't do good with the suboxone was because my body was so full of the other drugs I'd been abusing while at least in my mind attempting to wean off lortabs, ha! I loved the buzz......the buzz was gone even at the 10/day like someone else said.
I also think we're all different in respect to our lifestyles, jobs, kids, etc.
along with our actual chemistry. So what works for one may not with another. To me, addict in Ks, I really thought I was weaning when I went from 20-25/day to 10/day. I non-addict would either be shocked, appalled, or laugh at that number.
If you can't find a suboxone dr where you live, another thought is to continue to wean and then towards the end see if someone could care for your children for a little bit.
Me......I'm not much of a weaner. I've quit smoking cigs at least 35 times and that isn't an exaggeration. I cannot wean. I always told my worried husband who thought he would die before his wife off opiates, just lock me in a room and feed me thru the door, ha!
Eric Clapton's book said he had a chick with him and a closed door for 3 days to get thru his worst getting off H.
Oh well, rambled long enough. Can you tell I'm lonesome and can't sleep?
Blessings to you from Connie in Ks
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.