Well I'm Pretty Much Screwed.

Hey guys I thought everything was going ok, well I guess not. Turns out after all the work I did ended up being for nothing at all. That stupid (insert swear word of choice here) of a doctor completely forgot I even called her, and I left a message on her voicemail and called again today. Basically,she had a few clients return and like, now she "doesn't know if she has room for me" and pretty much every other doctor in the state is full too. Boy am I livid pissed. Sorry for the language but I AM. Now I'm screwed. I wanted to get off this crap, I tried and tried and TRIED cold turkey I CANNOT do it. I fail every damn time. The WDs are too much for me and with no help being a single parent I can't be on the couch unable to function for 2 weeks and not sleeping. UGGGGH. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?!?! I tried this and it all fell apart anyway. UGH. I'm so frustrated I could cry. She even took all my insurance info and pretty much led me on that she was going to help me, stupid lady. Again, sorry but I'm just so mad right now I'm seeing red.

[vicki595]

Oh dear!!    Where do you get the meds you're taking?  The only thing you can do is to keep trying to find a doctor.  There are quite a few "stat med" type places popping up everywhere. They're not urgent care but more "cash care".  Check your yellow pages.

In the meantime,try to taper down a bit. It's better than nothing.

V.

[HopefulSobriety]

Yeah, I'm none too happy. I was supposed to be getting into suboxone treatment and she made me see a councilor and everything, then tells me she screwed up. I feel like reporting her to someone cause it sounds like shes so old she doesnt remember!!! Cash care is not an option for me, I'm broke like everyone else in america atm. But thank you for your reply. I have no idea what to do but that and try to get something somehow. Set up an apt to see my doctor and explain how I got screwed over by someone who cant balance her damn clientele ledger. >:(

[jaxbaby]

Yes -- Make a connection with different doctor -- do not quit - there is a Dr. that will hep you.  

[HopefulSobriety]

Not according to her. And it doesn't help that she's got a nasty cold attitude. I'm so depressed and scared, I thought I was going to get help for my stupid addiction and the doors just keep closing. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up, I don't want to be a freaking druggie forever, or till I kill my liver. I don't see any options and that scares me badly. What I'd like to do is march over there and tell her off to next Tuesday for lying and misleading me and crap. But can't do that obviously. SIGH. I try to come online to get support and hardly anyone responds, so yea I'm feeling pretty negative at the moment.

[vicki595]

What do you want us to say...every avenue is a dead end for you.  So,I'm sure folks don't respond because they have no ideas and you're already angry.

This could be a blessing in disguise. Sub is a bear to get off of.  What is it that you're taking? How much ?  How long?

V.

[IBKleen]

I have to ask the same thing...how much and what and where are you getting them? If you are getting them fro a doctor then you can speak with them about a taper plan that will ease the withdrawal process. All is not dead so please don't give up. Talk to us.

[HopefulSobriety]

hmm...I kind of wondered that myself, v. I hear people just can't get off it. Probably why she has 100 people max on the list. I am meeting with my ortho doc in july for surgery scheduling. I want off the opiates, but I guess my timing is a bit bad. I will need them for recovering and more importantly PT. I did try tapering but my pain level was pretty high and I could not get around. I'm not giving up, just some days I feel I need to say it to get it out if that makes sense. Right now I am taking norco every four hours. Problem is, I've been on the same dosage for months, so it isn't effectively relieving the pain and I'm taking two 10/325s every four to six hours. My doctor said she will probably refer me to something called pain management, I know nothing about this place. Hopefully I can take something stronger, that I wont need to take as much, and without acetaminophen. Thanks for the feedback I really do appreciate the support.

[HopefulSobriety]

Hello, I'm getting the narcotics via valid prescription. I have a narcotic agreement with my new doctors, and I called them and explained what happened. They said they won't leave me high and dry and will refer me to pain management. I tried my best, and have also started seeing a substance abuse counselor. I am taking them for moderate to severe knee pain. I need at least one surgery to fix the mess inside my leg, and I guess its just bad timing. I dont know, I wont give up but I'm so sick of the mood swings i get from narcos. -_-

[IBKleen]

I know it is me hun so bear with me. I am trying to help but I am lost.

So you are taking pain meds for legitimate pain and awaiting surgery? In the meantime you want to get off the pills before the surgery? So you went to try and get on Suboxone but the doctor changed her mind?

Again, please bear with me.

Are you running out of the meds early or find you are taking more than prescribed? If so then that will be an issue even if they do put you on a different med or a higher dose. Your tolerance will progress as the drug is increased if that makes sense.

If it just the way that the meds make you feel, i.e. anxiety, then talk with your doctor about that specifically. You may be trying to jump the gun before you are ready here considering you have a surgery coming up.

[HopefulSobriety]

No worries. Yes. I am taking pain meds legitimately and awaiting surgery. I want to get off them. The suboxone doc is pretty old and "forgot" she had too many clients. Thats why I'm so angry. I am running out of meds, on the exact day I can get refill, but come up short the last week. Every 4 hours. It's supposed to be every 4-6 hours. But because I've been on the same dosage for a long time, it's not effective really unless I take at least a pill AND a half. I'm not running out but finding I'm in a viscous cycle of taking more, and then having to stretch out my last week, therein lies the concern. It totally does make sense about the tolerance thing, but I'm afraid to discuss it for some reason, and a bit ashamed thinking it's a control issue, but at the same time, I don't want to be in pain. and if I don't take what I am taking I have a hard time getting around, and forget stairs. It's so  frustrating. >_<

[el_em_en_oh]

HopefulSobriety... you sound just like I sounded when I first tried to clean myself up. I made every excuse in the book to try and stay on SOMETHING, no matter what it was and how much/little it was.

I also have legitimate pain issues (I get kidney-stones like you wouldn't believe), but because I am an addict, I cannot be in control of my own medication. If you are in control of administering your own medication, you will end up short every time. Not because of tolerance mind you, but because you are an addict.

I'm brutally honest, if nothing else. Love me or hate me, I really thought this place was for being honest, not for coddling. Not trying to be a jerk'off here, but does anyone else see 'red flags' here?

[el_em_en_oh]

I wasn't berating you. I'm sorry you took it that way.

You didn't mention anything about an 'agreement' or substance abuse councilor' in your post.

Calm down.

[bucksfan]

Do they prescribe Suboxone for 40MG of Codone a day habit? Or is it for much higher dosage users? I just dont understand why someone would give you something to take for years in some cases and then you still withdrawal from it when you could CT now and feel uncomfortable for a few weeks then be over it....I am completely ignorant when it comes to Sub so insight would be great!

[el_em_en_oh]

Trading one addictive substance (IE: opiates, benzo's, coke, heroin, etc) for another addictive substance (IE: suboxone) is not sobriety.

[bucksfan]

That is kind of my point...so I am asking why they would do that instead of just say you need to take a week off work and get through this vs. give you a drug IMO that sounds similar to Chantix, it prevents cravings and WD's from Tobacco but you could be on it for a very long time and its expensive. I mean do some people have cravings for years? It has to be used when dosage amounts are so high that there is not a safe detox or to painful to even consider.

[vicki595]

Buck~    There's a HUGE profit margin with Sub.  It DOES have it's place but,IMO,is highly overused and marketed for profit.   Many folks buy it on the street and have no idea what to do with it.  However, it DOES work and just shouldn't be used for the long term.
V.

[bucksfan]

Great thanks for the info...I just couldnt ever imagine wanting that or a methadone clinic to detox. I am so impatient and having to do something for years to avoid withdrawals for a few weeks would drive me nuts....I will say Chantix works so I do believe Sub probably works when used correctly as well.