Well......a little setback but hopefully not for long

Just wanted to be honest here with everyone. I had stopped using hydos Jan 1st. I was starting to feel pretty good. I was still having some back and sciatic pain but was managing. Yesterday I had to go in for the steroid shots. Once they were done everything seemed okay pain wise. About 3 hours later, once the numbness from the injection area wore off, my sciatic pain went from probably a 5 to a 9 on a scale of 10. I ended up taking one pill last night, one this morning, and one a little bit ago. I did try the advil and tylenol first but with no success. My tolerance is low since I hadn't used in 11 days so one at a time has helped compared to my 10 a day in the past. I'm not really getting the high, just some pain relief. They did say the pain may intensify after the shots and could be more painful than usual for about a week max. I know I'm playing with fire but the pain has been too much to bear. I am only going to take them until the pain is manageable which is hopefully tomorrow. I only had about 8 that I held on too for this reason. The rest were flushed. I also told my doctor last week no more and even if I wanted a refill I wouldn't be able to get one for another 2 weeks but I'm not going to do that. I'm only going to take them as prescribed and only for a few more days if that. Hopefully come tomorrow I can handle the pain. Once the pain is gone, they pills are down the toilet to meet the others.
I just wanted to be honest and in turn keep myself honest. I WILL get right back on track. I've been down this road before and know where it can lead me. I know physically a few days of only taking a few a day won't set me back too much. I know it can mentally but was so motivated from the get go that I'm not sure if it will. Even if it does I know I can handle it. I feel so darn guilty for taking them even though it has only been 2 today. I guess this is just one of those tests we all seem to get once clean. This is a test I will pass.
I hope everyone is doing great. Never give up the fight because living life without pills is worth every second of the withdrawals.

[gnarly_1]

hey dude....I can feel your pain...ive had countless shots in my back some helped
others dident...what your feeling now is the pressure of the liquid they injected...it is pressing on your sciatic nerve as the stuff absorbs in your system this will go away
but you might be sore for a few days...its a wild card every time they give you one
you never know how there going to go till after you get them...eventually I refused to
take any more but that was after literally dozens of them...if you get a chance read
"my story " in my journal  I think you will be able to relate..my run on narcotics
started out just like yours..but got way way out of control...as for the need for pain pills ....your not abusing right now..dont beat yourself up over it ...it will all be fine once you stop taking them again and 2 isent  going to set you back much
you can beet this thing...if I can with a track record like mine any one can
be strong pick yourself up  and move forward as soon as you can...you want it bad Brian and everyone here knows that..you will beat this thing..you just hit a bump in the road...your stronger then these dam pills..hang tuff bro your going to make it

[worried878]

Well///sounds familiar..very familiar..but then again we r all different..u may be different than the majority of addicts and pull this off..use for pain here and there etc..I hope u are able to do this as in ur post it is clear u feel u Need them for pain..and if u feel u do//then u Do..no one will argue with a person taking pain pills for pain...so not even a topic I would approach...There is a pain forum here too..it rox

I do not know ur history not how far along in this disease u were when u threw in the towel..fact is ..it is obvious 11 days there was some reason u Quit...not even sure what that reason was..thing is after 11 days tolerence does not get lower//tolerence stays for life..within a few days ur tolerence will be back to ur last toleence...I do not suggest proving this to urself..but it seems as if u may try

Look thru the health pages...learn about what u r feeling and why...chronic pain and addiction suk..but many here, including me, r victims of this duo..for me it came down to a choice btw emotional pain and physical pain...about going broke, losing myself, and losing those I love.I did not get to this point but I saw it coming...very soon...and the pills did not do nuttin for my pain anymore..I took them to survive

Why did u quit?  What has changed in 11 days?

[dominosarah]

Be very very careful.  You stir that beast and he will bring the smack down on you before you know what hit you......Im only saying this cuz i have been there.  Your honesty is refreshing.  Keep moving forward          sara

[worried878]

Dernation..I did not even read who actually posted this post..when I in turn answered the post..thought it was a newbie..so sorry for my lecture cos u already know all of what I said

Apologize just read the post..and not the Poster...but in reality some of us oldies need to be reminded from time to time I guess...u know where pills lead BMD

Keep hanging tight..K?

[avisg]

yeah ,
it is soooooo important to not use if anyway possible when you first get clean cuz then your really not getting clean you are still using. Its hard and it S U C K s but almost everyone of us have been there .I can so relate right now my pain has been about a 12 but I just keep keeping on cuz I know what will happen if I take even one pill ..
Get right back on the the horse ...
avis

[snowflake620]

you sound like you are really commited to being clean but as stated above you need to be careful it is good that you are being honest with all of us and that will help to keep you honest I hope your pain subsides soon and you can be free of the evil poison soon good luck to you and post often so we can keep our eye on you!
              snow

[troubleinohio]

i do know that pain. i had excrutiating pain after my LESI. it induced one of the worst back attacks Ive ever had in my life, so I do know how you feel. Just be careful buddy! Keep us posted

[Amaryllis1974]

Bri,
You are in my prayers, my friend!!!
Seriously. Please be careful. PLEASE! We need you around here!!!!
Amy

[bmdad]

Well, I took a half of one this morning so 5mg. I'll probably need one more at bedtime and I'm pretty sure that's it. The pain has gotten a little better so come tomorrow I'm just gonna take advil. Just thought I'd post again to keep myself honest.
Thanks for all the comments. Everyone here is so supportive and I wouldn't be where I'm at today without you all.
Hope everyone is doing well!! I'm getting there.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Yes, you are going to get there..........and you have friends here that will give you a blanket party in a hot second if we feel it necessary.  Havent had to organize that because you havent done anything that most of us have done that would warrant organizing one!!  You might want to try perco-gesic for legit pain - - its OTC and has several advantages over advil. You are going to make it past this one............but there will be others.  Need to develop recognition of impending trap and appropriate measures of cognitive behavior therapy to get to a "happy spot"  before the trap may be sprung!!!   I know that a Ranger can get used to spotting the trip wire .....................best of luck in all, brother - - - eagle

[troubleinohio]

lmao @ eagle..blanket party!!! hahaha I havent heard someone say that in quite a spell! I remember when I didnt even know wth a blanket party was and had to ask someone. I thought it was something kinky, hah!   btw how are you doing, havent seen you post much lately, eagle!

[bmdad]

Leave it to eagle to always throw some humor out there! Luckily while in boot camp I never was introduced to the blanket party or anytime there after. I do know that eagle will give me a blanket party if I don't keep myself on track! But he knows the same goes for him. A Marine can also spot trip wires so no use putting them around your bed.
Best of luck to you too, brother.

[jlb191]

Will someone tell me what a blanket party is!  I have no idea either and now i am curious! LOL

[bmdad]

I'm pretty sure it originated in the military. Eagle could probably verify that. Have you ever seen Full Metal Jacket? They show one in there. When someone is screwing up which in turn makes life rough for the other members of a platoon a group of them will pull the blanket over him so he can't move. Then others will put bars of soap in their pillow case or socks and beat the crap out of that person. They do this in hopes that person will get their arse back on track. Now that my friend is a blanket party!! Wanna come to the party?!!