Went to Court today to Face the Financial Music

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Things weren't as bad as I thought they could have been but they didn't work as great as I wanted them to either.  I was in Bankruptcy Court all day.  Being a third time Bankrupt there are some pretty strict rules.  I am supposed to be discharged in Feb. 2014, but I fought it, had a great speech explaining why I should be discharged right now, but the Judge split the difference and gave me May 1, 2013 as my new date.  I guess I should be grateful.  Has anyone gone through this process?  Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated?  I have just figured out that I can't do this alone and I am humbled enough to take any help!!!!

Thanks again to you all who help me on a daily basis.  Doing this stuff straight really is difficult.  Without my pill courage it's not as easy!!!!

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Yep, and I keep a list of all these reasons and when I really, really want to use again, I read the list.  Trust me, it is just not worth starting over again.  But on days like having to go to court, or ones that are really stressful, I still think about using.  Crazy, isn't it.  But it's less and less now.  I love coming on here and seeing your comments.  Thanks so much!

[Pat1956100]

You know it's funny.  I have had credit card people call me and when I was honest with them and cried they told me that they have gone bankrupt.
One girl yesterday from the bank told me how she had gotten into such a huge financial mess and how she had fought back from it.
Luckily she had a great understanding boss etc.
So many people have had financial problems so don't feel bad at all.
You will easily recover from this and did the best thing you could.
Now we know, drugs can ruin our lives and we don't ever want to go back again.

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Thank so much.  You always put things in perspective for me and give me another way to look at things I really appreciate it.  Knowing I am not the only one who has gone through this helps too.  

Thanks

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Yes it is only money and for me I spent so much on my addiction it is ridiculous.  Then I find myself in the bagel shop planning ahead, if they are not on sale for $5.00 and I have to pay full price $7, then I am not getting them....lolololol.  But wouldn't think twice about buying pills.  Very strange indeed.  

And you are right, not having those horrible phone calls is fantastic.  When the phone rings I can actually answer it now.  It is great.  Thanks again for your kind words I really appreciate it!

[mamaof4410]

I never really saw addicition as "mental illness" I always thought an addict chooses to be an addict. Yes we choose to do that first hit or take that first pill but our mentality changes after that. We literally sleep, eat, crave and chase. And eventually the eat and sleep take a back burner to it all.
Theres not a day that goes by that I dont think about getting high. I think we all do it. But I see it like this...IM not in wd's and I mean Im not actually needing it to "feel normal" I feel normal. Its just the crappy part of my brain messing with me. I have energy and the "want" to get out of bed so why go back there. Life WAS NOT simple doing drugs. It was actually alot more stressful. Were always worrying about where and when were going to get our next high from. I would literally cry if I knew I wasnt going to have money in time for Fridays to get enough heroin to last me the weekend. Which was about $200-$300 and that was just to get me through the weekend. Come monday morning Id be in that "high or die" mode. Then the same thing on Wednesdays and again Fridays. This lasted for 6 months. Its crazy. I will never go back there. Your financial troubles will get better. Im still a month behind on my truck payment because of my addiction. Its a good thing the lady at the finance company knows me really well and is working with us. It only gets better from here.

[Pat1956100]

You can recover from this.  Keeping your home is a big plus.
I know it's hard and you have probably been through hell and humiliation declaring bankruptcy but you are clean now and if you stay clean you will be okay.
It must be such a huge relief to have all of those creditors off your back.  I am working on that now but they do have huge expectations.  Even there minimum payments seem huge to me.  We shall see.
It's only money lol.  
Things could be worse.

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Thanks for your support.  I keep thinking the same thing, God only gives us what we can handle!!!!  Why did he make me so damn strong....lolololol.  I know I will make it and I will get things changed around, but damn it's hard.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about getting high!  And really, really wanting to.  Knowing full well that I am in the mess I am in because of it I still want it.....  I see why this is classified as a Mental Illness.  Even typing this is sounds "crazy", but if I am not honest with myself, I am simply not honest.  So here goes another day! Thanks again, you are awesome.  I really look for to your posts and advice.

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Thanks so much Pat.  We are in the same situation.  The pills always came first for me too.  Sometimes I sit and think about what could have been, what I could have had if I didn't waste all my families money.  At $120 - $150 a pill and sometimes taking 1 1/2 a day, the money sure gets wasted.  But we can't change what's happened.  I did claim bankruptcy, but because there was no equity in my home, (I kept redoing the mortgage due to late payments....), I got to keep it.  If the bankruptcy took it, it would be an expense to them.....pretty sad eh!  But I do have my home and was allowed to keep one of my vehicles (it doesn't run as it wasn't kept up).  Now I have no money for repairs.  Very weird, if I was still using I would find the money for that, but can't come up with it for my vehicle.  Strange the things I would do for a pill, being straight it's not so easy to do ****** things.
Thanks for your support I really need it.

[mamaof4410]

The opiates gave us B A L L S. Sad but true. I started so many fights and arguments while I was high because I felt like a bad a s s. Truth is we were people that were not. Think of how bad things are right now and remember they could be a whole lot worse. Be thankful for what you have left...Your family, your sobriety, you have a healthier, happier you. I promise you will come out of this a better man. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger and God wouldnt put us through anything that he thought we couldnt handle. Best of luck to you and keep your head up!

[Pat1956100]

I too wish to offer you my support.  I am dealing with a huge financial mess and sometimes wish I could go bankrupt but I have too much equity in my home.  I want to just walk away but can't do it.
The really sad part is mine was created by pills.  If I had all the money that I spent on pills I would be laughing right now.
Pretty pathetic but nothing I can do now.
Onward and upward my friend.
You seem to have everything under control and sound like a fighter.
stay strong
Pat

[Livingtodaylikeitsmylast]

Thanks so much.  I appreciate  your input.  It truly is much harder doing stuff straight!

[akitagurl12]

I don't have any advice on the legal stuff, but I did want to say you will get through this.  Even on hard days & difficult situations, life still ultimately works out better for us when we deal with it with a clear, sober mind.  Keep moving forward, you are doing great:)