I worked on my NA steps, talked to sponsor, therapist, friends - online & on phone.
I will do WHATEVER it takes to keep my clean time. Staying clean is not an option for me. It IS a requirementin my life. If I would relapse I don't know that I would come out of it alive. I do know that using eventually leads to death and that does not sound very appealing to me.
The first thing that helped me was admitting that I had addictions,then my doctor worked with me on quitting,I also made sure I told family and close friends which made me accountable,then I sought addiction counselling, I worked on coming to terms with my childhood and not blaming everyone and everything else for my addictions,lastly I worked on myself,changing my way of thinking,learning that there is a greater life with more fulfillment after addiction.
I finally admitted to myself and others that i was completely powerless over this and i was an addict. I told my doctor and pharmacists. I got involved in meetings and have a coffee group that consists of recovering addicts and this forum. My sobriety/clean time is the first and foremost in my life and i will do whatever it takes to keep it this way as using is no longer an option. I live in the day and am grateful for everything i have in my life. I am finally living life on life's terms and it feels so good......AND always remember and never forget to keep that GUARD UP~~sara
Since I read this the next day I will tell you today I am going to IOP, otherwise I would hit a meeting, and also try and eat healthier. Seems to be a pattern of people with alot of clean time going to meetings, so I tend to do what works. My decisions in the past haven't seemed to work, so I choose aftercare and NA. And am about to do a daily meditation, also.
After using for almost 6 years and trying to quit many many times...I decided something had to be different this time. I had kept this habit a secret from the person I cared for most. I realized that unless I let the cat out the bag I would end up using again. I voluntarily drove over to there house and told them about my problem. I can safely say that I at day 24 and the furtherst I think I ever made it. Each time I get a craving or down mentally I just htink about letting them down and it goes away. Dont be ashamed to admit you cant do this alone. I was for so long and finally swallowed my pride. So far it has made all the diff in the world.
Seeing my counselor. Haveing a great support group. Running is a huge one for me. I enjoy it so much and know that I wouldn't b able to do it high on pills. Having this site and the people n it to help me when I'm feeling I'm having a bad day.!!!
Every day I thank God that he had other plans for me and that I didn't die. I call my mother and thank her for not letting go of my hand. I count my blessings. I still have a track mark scar that I stare at when I forget and have a fond memory of that period. I work with HIV patients and remind myself that I dodged a bullet.
I make the most of every day that I am able to enjoy life on my terms, and I remain thankful that the people I love still love me.
I went to church last night, I don't let pride get in the way. I do whatever I have to do to touch God and feel his presense..It is real. I have also admitted to those close to me and my Dr. that I have a problem (that was the hardest) but felt the best. My wife is so happy that she has her husband back, I cannot let her or my kids down.. More importantly, I cannot let myself down. I take it minute by minute, day by day (the days are moving faster now) and embracing life. Dominosara always says, protect your clean time, and take care of you first. Sounds selfiish, but it isn't because it enables you to take better care of everyone as well.
In the past, I always took pride in the fact that I put my family first..that was BS. I spent all my time looking for drugs (given enough time, a human being can justify anything) Today my priorities are God first, myself and family second, earning a living third. So far I think I am on the right track.
Regular exercise is crucial!! For me the physical symptoms of WD are somewhat easy to deal with, the depression and anxiety border on impossible! Hitting the weights and getting into a workout regimen before i even feel like im capable is mandatory for me. It really fights off the depression and seriously hastens a sense of mental/emotional normalcy. It also gives you something else to think about and obsess over that isn't opiate related.
I helped others with their addiction. Teaching them (and reinforcing within me) that addiction is an enemy that is stronger and superior to us. It takes strategy, honesty and humility, to defeat this beast.
well still struggling but not using so maybe what I am doing is working. Staying online reading posts from others that are like me.
it's only been 17 days since I admitted I was an addict after over 20 years of using on and off.
Saying I AM AN ADDICT brings me back to reality never thought I was one of them??.
writing in my journal stupid feelings and ideas and trying to fight back.
rereading things others have said that have hit home over and over again. others sending me messages and talking back and forth.
doing things straight that are going better than when I was high but actually admitting that outloud is hard.
I think when I finally find work and am gone during the day that will help with my recovery but being unemployed allowed me to see my addiction and to try to get straight. Some things happen for a reason.
Got up, walked downstairs and went to work. I don't even think of taking pills anymore...I've had some pretty severe back pain recently (I think I'm too old for trying to move furniture and lift old projection screen TVs) also from sleeping on the couch the last week..I was on 24/7 call and usually sleep on the couch so as not to wake my wife up when I get a call (which happens with great frequency) so the combination of little sleep and moving all that stuff and sleeping on the couch had me quite uncomfortable..still no pills..I come here and get the support I need, have been going to therapy but haven't gone for a couple weeks.
I got Honest.. with myself my Dr. my family and a few close friends.. picked up a hobby of photography to replace my drugs. seen a shrink and offer support to the forum. also I keep a journal of my journey. It helps me to be able to look back and see where I came from. Good post :) I wish you well. lesa
Today, I've gotten out of myself and have gotten with others in the AA program. So far today I've been in contact with an AA friend who has the kind of sobriety that I want. Since my sobriety date I've looked AT myself, who is the only person I can change, but not WITHIN myself. We discussed the art of taking a deep 4th-step look at our inner selves to find out who we REALLY are inside. We can't change something until we know what to change. And then, this evening, I'll go to a meeting. All day my addictions make withdrawals, so I better go to a meeting and make a deposit.
recovery for me is a process first of all I have a good walk with God...I attend a grace filled nonjudgmental church witch most of the members know about my struggle with addiction
we have a small home group of 12 family's we also attend and are quite close to those family's where down in the trenches with me as I struggled to get off methadone...I also go to an all mens bible study with 3 other addicts in it all living in recovery so I got some where to share with people that understand addiction ...I see a substance abuse conslor once a week to go threw the root issues of my addiction.. if I crave im off to an N/A meeting..I try to get a couple in ether way....I spend a good 2 hrs a day on this forum trying to help others with there recovery witch in itself helps mine...I always get more out then I put in....at least it seams that way...it also keep recovery in front of me daily....and as Sara says....I never drop my guard...addiction is cunning and baffling if giving the chance it will suck you back in....you cant give it a chance ..so its by many different things that I live in recovery good luck to all trying this....get yourself a support system in place and put at least as much effort into your recovery as you did to your active addiction and you will be successful good luck and God bless.....Gnarly
Thanks for all the great posts!!!!! It is refreshing to hear all the ways we stay clean and sober. Today I talked with a sponsee on the phone as well as another recovery alkie. I also made it to a meeting and shared my experience with anger. Trying to keep that one short isn't easy. I could talk about anger for hours. LOL!!!! I also went swimming and cooked dinner for my wife.
The one guy I talked to is really suffering and just doesn't see a way out of the hole he created. He keeps doing the right things but the self pity has such a crazy grip on him that he loses sight of all the good things he has today. When I hung up the phone I reflected a bit and thanked God for the sobriety I have been so freely given. A sober life truly is a blessing.
This board. The good peeps that are real and no sugar coating. My eyes were opened to the strength of my addiction. That made me mad at it. So yeah, anger can be good.
Going to Celebrate Recovery.
Prayed a lot in the first "10s." Days 1-10 up until about Day 50. Now instead of praying for rescue from my cravings, I'm praying for forgiveness for being such a cranky B+atch.
LOve you all, Gnarly, Sarah, Gizzy, Vicki, Narla, on and on!!! ~Lindsay
I kept myself busy today cleaning my car inside and out (it needed it). But the main thing is keeping my promise to my wife that I will do the best I can at staying clean. She has stood by me all the way and I will never forget that. And I will never forget all the kind people here on the forum.
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