What do a couple of addicts do? And, stay together?

Should a couple, who are both addicted to hydrocodone, go thru w/d together? Or, is it better for one partner to detox first, then the other, so support can be given to the one needing it the most at that time? Also, is it better for one or both to taper down first? Is there a taper down schedule that works for someone taking 18-24 10mg/325mg daily? Please help us choose the right decisions. Thank you so much.

[IBKleen]

Hi,

Either way you guys decide is going to be difficult. Two addicts detoxing together is hard. If you detox first and he is still using you may crave and both give in and the same the other way around. If you do it together you may be at each other's throats and if one gives in the other will probably follow.

Detoxing is hard enough and doing with someone is harder still so I don't know what to tell you here.

Certainly tapering is a way to go and again difficult with two people. One should hold the medication for the other and dole it out according to a schedule. That would be rough if one is tapering and one is using.

If there is anyway you can be apart for a week and both work on your detox I think you would have a good shot at it.

Sorry I can't be much help but I have seen this hundreds of times.

Also, we cannot provide taper schedules as it is a violation of our guidelines. You guys are on a pretty high dose each and it may be a good idea to see your doctor or think about a detox center for both of you.

I wish you the best and keep talking here. Others will weigh in their experiences as well.

[bama88]

Hi. Let me share my story. I am married. We are both addicts. Me I love oxy and loratabs. And anything I can swallow. My husband ms continue loratabs and anything he can swallow. I jumped first. Our problems began eight years ago when my husband was in a bad lifethreatening car accidient. He turned me on to pills. I fell in love with them at first swallow lol. Then I fell off a ladder and hurt myself. And got my own. Then I went from tabs to oxy. He went from tabs to morphine. Either way it has effected our relationship. For the worst. We shEd pills score pills etc. I found this forum looking up knee replacement questions. Then I peeked at this topic.and realized I am an addict. My husband didn't admit his problem at first. So anyways I jumped first off of 105 mgs of oxies. Worst sickness of my life. I flushed all of them. And I have a legit reason for pills. So does he. I can't tell you what would be easier. Both people.sick at once or one than the other. I will tell you it was hard to detox and watch him take his pills. It aS tourture. I hated him. He hated me. When you detox your emotions are out of wack to say the least. There will be screaming matches crying spells depression and misery. I am humbly 28 days of no oxy. He is six of no morphine. We do everything together. I mean everything. You name it we do it together. We are even both left handed.  We have a weird close relationship. My answer to you is if your ready to jump. Jump. The other might not be ready yet. And if I can quit that much oxy you can quit tabs. I promise.it won't be easy but wow its worth it. I promise you that. Sorry to ramble. Send me a message if you want more details and to talk.

[ANewLife4Me]

I used to detox right along with my EX husband.  Note the Ex part.  It's hard.  Pills tore us and our marriage apart.  We would detox together so as to not have any pills in the house or on one of us while the other was going through misery.  I will never forget my addiction counselor telling me that there was 99% chance I would relapse as long as he was still using, and vice versa.  So both of you have to be committed.  Aftercare (counseling, NA, Smart Recovery, etc.) is definitely a must as the withdrawals are the easy part, it's staying clean that is the hard part.  But it can be done!  It just takes a lot of hard work and effort on both your parts.  We can give you a lot of advice and a lot of support while you both go through this.  I don't like tapering (personal choice and opinion) as it's just a long, drawn out process.  If either one of you have a doctor that prescribes these to you, I'd come clean with the doctor and let them help you as well.  I wish you both the best :)  

[Bkitty]

This is a difficult question and Im not sure there really is an answer. If it were me,,,I detox along with my husband. I would be mad and jealous if he was still taking pills and I was suffering. You both will need NA or aftercare for sure. Gaining sobriety and maintaining sobriety is a very personal intimate situation that only YOU can do. Dont expect too much from your husband. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you choose~Bkitty

[SassySteel]

Day 6 here.  I went first.  He's coming down from 7 10's per day to 1.5 right now.  For me, cold turkey was the way.  For him, he's been here before and tapering to CT is the way he goes.  It's good cause I'm done "hurting" so bad right now, and can be emotionally supportive to him through his next leg of the journey.  What works for one, may not work for another though.  Every couple is individual to themselves.  I would definitely take the advise of some of the more knowledgeable individuals on this forum.  There is a lot of wisdom to be gleaned here.  

Whatever you decide, stay true to yourself and your goal.  Let the rest come as it may.  Best of luck and big hugs.  

[bama88]

We both go to na. Do you have a plan in place? We both talked about abusing our pills for a long time.but now were much better. You both have to want this. Its hard but think of the payoff.