What do you guys think?

[New2This2010]

First of all wanted to say hi to everyone on here and hope this post finds all well. I have been thinking about some things latley and wanted to run it by you wonderful people on here and get some feedback. First of all, I can't help but notice that this is a Substance Abuse community and not really designated to one specific drug but that the majority of post on here are related to pain pill addiction of some sort. I myself am going through the same thing so my heart truly goes out to ya'll (and any addict of any substance for that matter), but I truly did not realize just how many people pain pill addiction plagues until I came here. Its a lot bigger "epidemic" if you want to call it that than I really truly realized. When I was in high school and stuff you had your drugs like Marijuana, Coke, etc... but pain pills were more "underground" I would say, but now its really just everywhere. I am glad these Dr's are realizing just how addicting these meds are and actually helping people who want off by doing tapers and whatnot. Its almost like its not so "taboo" to be addicted to pain meds and more like "oh ya that happens lets deal with it" from a Dr's standpoint. Also, another conclusion I have come to is that when it comes to pain pill addiction there is no cut and dry method. I was truly convinced if you detoxed for one week you would come out just fine. HA! It truly does depend on so many factors such as type of pill, mg's, amount taken daily, and length of time. But what I also did not realize is that a lot of it depends on mindset as well. I am on a taper plan where I was reduced recently from 3 7.5 mg of hydrocodone a day to 3 5mg of hydrocodone a day in which my body freaked out. When I brought this up to the Dr he was kinda shocked as he said most people "wouldn't notice that, but apparently you do very much so". But a lot of it is my mindset as, though I hate to admit this, maybe I am not totally ready to quit as I am so used to the "feeling" they give me and dependant on them to "get me thru my day". I guess in a nutshell there is no cut and dry do this and you'll get thru it method, its all individualized to the person. For some WD's are only a week and for others can last months, some taper plans work for others, while others not at all. Don't get me wrong I am not saying don't be hopeful, but I just feel if people go into a detox thinking "ok after one week I'll be fine" and then it doesn't happen that way it can cause great fustration and potential for relapse. My advice would be keep an open mind and detox because you truly want to, and be prepared for anything that may arise that way you don't get blindsided and lose track because of it. I have read so many post where some people get thru the WD's very easy and some where it takes forever and I have come to the conclusion its best to not expect it to go that way for you, just because it did for others. Do you guys think that is correct? I am truly grateful to have found this forum, as I don't feel alone anymore and have been met with so much support and welcome arms. Above all I feel one of the most important keys to sucess in quitting a substance is support and there are some of us out there that don't have family support or friends and this is our source of support. My family is so sick of it and fed up they don't even want to hear about it, I start feeling depressed and alone, & then I come on here and realize no I am not alone and I CAN get thru this! Take care everyone, sorry so long just wanted to get some stuff off my chest I had been thinking about for a while now!

[gnarly_1]

HI hang in there I know what its like to taper I got myself strung out on methadone the process is painfully slow getting off.....I had to taper for 8 1/2 mo!!!! going in and out of withdrawals along the way thats how I know its a game of discipline and perseverance ...when your in withdrawals remember a hot soak goes a long way at releaving the symptoms and just know your body will adjust to the lower dose shouldn't be more then a week so hang in there
keep  posting you got this to look forward to on your next drop in dose again but sooner or later you will be done and free of the ball and chain of a pill bottle.....Gnarly

[swflafun]

Hi, I am off the pills. I had an 18 month self-induced hiatus from reality. I was a Roxy fan. Started with one here and there, as do most people, and they imprisoned me, as they do  most people. I got pretty carried away, as do most people and was snorting 7-15 (or more, depending how many I had) 30mgs per day. After 5 attempts of cold turkey, never making it past day 5, I went on a serious bender right before Christmas, 14 in two hours having dinner with my ex. I ran out. I couldn't get back to my office fast enough (with my ex) and literally locked myself in the bathroom and snorted 5 more. We stayed the night and I was up at 6AM snorting 5 more. My tolerance was through the roof. I barely got a buzz, but was "straight" and not sick. After she got up, we said our goodbyes for good and I had the talk with myself. Tapered down until 1/6 and went cold turkey. I survived. Day 25 now and wouldn't do one if you put a gun to my head. I sure do miss the true buzz of being high on them, no doubt, but after what I have been through, never, ever again.

You have plenty of hope, don't worry there. Tapering is not easy. I did it on my own, which is NOT recommended. I actually kept my last one. I had two left and the battle was raging if I was going to take them or flush them. I made an arrangement. I snorted one and varnished the other one into a paperweight that sits on my desk to remind me what I had been through. Mostly I laugh at it. Sometimes I hold it and ponder what I have lost. It is a very good physical reminder of what I have done and what I have lost...all in the name of that little blue pill.

You stay tough on this, keep your husband proactive on your tapering. It can be done. You have your baby to think about, don't lose sight of that. A pill isn't worth it honey, trust me. YOU really need to want to do this, for yourself and your child. I don't want to seem rude, but your posts come across as this being a hassle to you. If that is how you feel, you are not giving this addiction it's rightful due. You don't want to have the mindset that "I'll do this for the Drs and my baby, but afterwards" you fill in the blank. If you have taken offense, I'm sorry, but YOU need to want to end this addiction. Not because of the Dr or the consequences of IF they find drugs when you have a baby. Once again, sorry if I insulted you on this point, but please think about it? The pills are never the answer. I thought the same thing for a LONG time too. I wish you all the best and hope you get through this. Keep posting and if you're not too mad I'll respond. :-)

Gary

[New2This2010]

Yes your right. My husband holds on to them for me thats the ONLY way I've been able to half way stick to this taper. If I had the bottle no way! It is hard cause its like the 3 5mgs per day are NOT helping as I still go thru WD's, but I guess it could be worse. In all reality if I just took the amount I needed every day to be comfortable I would not be tapering I would just be maintaining. I just get fustrated cause the Dr's don't want me going CT cause of the baby, but with my current dosage I am still having WD's so its like what am i accomplishing here ya know? I told him I am still going thru WD & this dosage is not working but he doesn't want to change it. He told me I did have his permission to take 1 1/2 as needed if I had a bad day, but its like don't tell me that cause then it will be 1 1/2 the 3x a day lol!

[gnarly_1]

HI tapering can be a real grind ....it is ez on your system then just jumping off c/t but on the other hand it drags out the withdrawal wile you do this your not going to be comfortable you just got to deal with that but it is best for your baby that you taper....wile tapering you need to stick with your plan you cant yo/yo your dose because your dope sick one day and take more the next to get rid of it ...you blow your whole taper if you do this.....the number one thing here is discipline followed by perseverance to keep going even when feeling lousy just knowit is very doable and many of our members have successfully tapered off ...your not only doing this for you but for your baby to......stick to doctors orders and keep posting for support we all want to see you succeed good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  

[New2This2010]

Hi yes the WD symptoms are all pretty much the same I agree, but ya the duration and mental part are definatley individualized. Are you off the pills now? If so congrats and how long have you been clean? I love hearing from people who have done it as it always gives me hope!

[New2This2010]

Yes your right I know its the addiction talking. I know once I get thru it and try to see what sober life is life it probabley won't be half bad lol! I mean its GOT to be better than counting pills everyday making sure I don't run out, I mean if thats not anxiety causing what is, so I guess in reality no its not really "fixing" the anxiety. Yes your right about the Xanax its only supposed to be used short term medically speaking. I guess I was getting confused with people I know that just stay on it and have Dr's that just keep them on it, but yes your indeed correct the "right" way to be on Xanax is short term, just like the pain pills except for the people that are supposed to be on them long term! As far as the taper plan, I know I don't have a choice but to stick to it. I mean if I am cheating and taking more and not even at the level the Dr thinks I am I will be in a world of hurt when he says ok its time to jump off now no more, and plus like you said when I have the baby and its in my system I would be in a world of hurt to cause the Dr will say "yes she WAS on them while pregnant but I took her off those like a month ago", and I DON"T want to go there!

[swflafun]

Well for what it's worth, I agree with you on the detox scenario. It is different for everyone, but it's nice to read these stories and know pretty much what to expect. Duration seems to be the key issue. We all have basically the same symptoms, just the amount of time to get through the physical WDs and then the PITA of the mental cravings.  I used this place as a "yardstick" for my detox. Did better in some areas...worst in others. The support was what I needed, just like you, it became my "aftercare" I guess.

I like your thought process on the pills...I always thought of them as my anti-depressants. Everybody else pops pills, these are the ones I like, so I rationalized it that way. They certainly filled my void, but little did I know, the void didn't need to filled.

Good luck to you and do as your Dr suggests. You will live without them. I bet your baby will thank you too. :)

[vicki595]

I just have a second here but I wanted to post to you.

You know the addiction is talking to you,right??    It's talking pretty loud!
The void in your life can be filled with "something" other than a pill. It's actually possible.
But,it's work to get there and you have to do the work!

LOL  To: Addict Brain--No,it's not okay to take xanax. It has it's place short term but it's just a bear if you become addicted to it.

Stick to that taper,okay?  Don't try;just do it!!  You really need to put the baby's wants and needs first here. I'm know it's hard but,Sweetie, it's a baby without a choice...follow the doctors orders on this,okay?

FYI: As a standard of care in most hospitals,your blood and the baby's blood will be tested for drugs. If they find anything other than what the doctor ordered and in the proper amounts,it will be a big problem. You don't want to dance with that devil!

Good luck!

[New2This2010]

Ya I agree about sorting out the issue that cause the addiction in the first place. I have real bad anxiety and low self esteem so for me the pills mellow me out and make me feel like everything is "ok". Being an addict I have rationalized it every which way possible why I should be allowed to keep taking them lol like for example "They should be used for anxiety people take Xanax and thats ok so why can't I continue to take something that helps MY anxiety". But in all reality even if they did prescribe them to me for that type of reason its not like I could just take like 3 a day for the rest of my life and be ok cause we all know the tolerance issue and in a year I'd prob be up to like 10 a day! Plus the liver damage and all that crap that goes along with it! Right now I am on a taper plan and on 5mg 3x a day (I am preg so I can't quite CT), but let me tell you my body is freaking it wants more, I told my Dr but he said nooooooo upping them we are TAPERING meaning a goal in mind to stop haha! I feel horrible cause I know I am preg but I am STILL dragging my feet on stopping cause I am soo addicted to how they make me feel. It's like they fill a void in myself I have been looking for my whole life, but I know thats the addiction part making me feel I can't live without them ughhhh!

[vicki595]

Yes,you're right. There should be some "wiggle room" in anyone's expectations regarding withdrawals. Sara and I were just talking about this. Detoxing at home will not enable you to have little stars falling out of your eyes by Day 5.  All things considered,it just realistically takes some time to feel better and people need to know that...Also, getting to the issues that caused the drug abuse in the first place. "Using is only a symptom"...