I began taking pain killers recreationally two years ago. Last spring, I had a wicked back injury and was prescribed oxys and then time released Morphine. Completely disregarding my liver and the fact that I could become addicted, I was also buying anything I could get off the street, Vicodin ES, Vicodin HP, Endocet, Percoset, anything generic, and when it was't possible to get my hands on these, I would buy Oxycotin 40s or 80s. Now I'm screwed. I can't even get out of bed without eating a pain killer off of my night table. If I don't take them, I feel like I am being electrocuted. I CAN NOT FUNCTION without them -- I get cold sweats, chills, hot flashes and nausea. When I try to not take them, nothing gets done -- I am useless. The only thing I can do when I don't take them is squirm around in my bed and cry because i am so uncomfortable like a friggin junky. Since I've been on painkillers, I have become a stick figure, dropping down to 91 pounds. I don't even get "high" anymore, taking them just makes me feel normal again. I am afraid and sick now. I can't go to rehab because my family would disown me. I hate myself for this and will someone PLEASE tell me how to get this out of my life before I die because I sure feel like I'm dying. How do I detox from painkillers?
yo rex , i hope you are feeling better,
and also doing better.
as far as the lack of energy that is normal
along with some depression.
if the depression get real bad you may want to get it checked out.
i know you keep pretty busy and probley don't take it as easy as
you should. so take it easy and rember
don't get to HUNGREY, ANGRY ,LONLEY , OR TIRED..
some times we forget to do the normal things normal people do.
after living the life style of an opaite user we have to realize we may have some bad habits.
that is why it is important for us to take inventory
of ourselves and how we are living.
peace brother, you are in my prayers,/////hippy////michael
Congrats on day 12 - you just keep doing it every day! I am so-so proud of you, plus you seem to have a wonderful attitude, which has to help. People on this forum is great, and a wonderful inspiration, but when it all comes down to it - YOU are the one who's doing it! Expect bumpy times down the road (see Rex's posts above). It's not unusual to hit periods of depression, as your natural endorphines are struggling to "work" on their own again. If you expect it, maybe it'll be easier for you to deal with. But again, you may just breeze right through it. I think it all depends on each one's body chemistry. You're doing, great, baby - keep on fighting the good fight - You inspire ME!!!! Love/Peace, Lisabet
I too started like many of the folks here, innocently enough after 2 vehicle accidents in one year, from Perc 5's progressing to a pain management clinic where I get 4 perc 10's and 3 Oxy 20's a day. I also have another doc who gives me 120 Perc 7.5's once a month. I got scared about 4 months ago and checked myself into the local VA for detox. They gave me clonodine and lorezapam to help with the restlesness. The thought of detox was far worse than the actual symptoms, yes you do feel like ****, your pupils look like pie plates, you sweat, have diarrea, mild stomach cramps but otherwise it is NOT THAT BAD! As everyone knows detoxing from opiates will not kill you. Im sure everyone here has had a case of the flu that made them feel worse. After 3 days in the VA I checked myself out. Stupidly I had some percocets left in the medicine cabinet and took some. My wife laughed at me, the dramatics leading up to quitting taking the you would have thought I was preparing to die! I am preparing to quit them again. There is a clinical study here in New Haven CT that uses Buprenorphine to taper. I think 3 days of suffering is better than feeling like **** for weeks trying to taper off. Just like pulling a band-aid off. Do it fast and get over it. A positive mental attitude is the most important tool you have! Just keep telling yourself, its not that bad! Pretty soon you will start believing it. The first morning without is the worst. Take motrin or tylenol to help with body aches. If you can get some valium they help you rest but be careful not to trade one addiction for another! Benzo withdrawl's can kill ya. Hell the funny thing is my neck and shoulder still hurt even with all the meds. The pain is the same with or without opiates. I was talking with a clinician at the research center and said that everyone that had used the buprenorphine had only good things to say about it. If there is one thing I cant stress enough is to keep sight of your short term goals. After only 24 hours you will feel better, I promise! Dont talk yourself into thinking it will be horrible, just keep saying to yourself "Only a few more hours and I will feel better" Visualize every drop of sweat leaving your body as full of toxic waste, every movement another exit for toxic substances. As your pain receptors "Awaken" you become overstimulated, thats what causes the symptoms of withdrawl. Your body has been fooled by the medication. When the receptors have no opiates to bind to them they begin to fire tiny electrical impulses causing your body to react. Soon they will calm down and you WILL feel better. Immodium AD also helps, it is very close to morphine chemically, it also helps relax you and help you sleep. Tell your doctors you are quitting and not to prescribe you any more meds after you detox. I will let you know how the bup works. If you can find a sauna or steam room that helps speed up the detox process. As well as drinking distilled water instead of regular bottled or tap. Be careful to only drink it for a day or two though. It can deplete your electrolytes but it certainly gets the process moving! It will put you in detox faster than naltroxene. Sorry about the book but it feels good to talk to someone about my problem. Good luck to everyone!
I am finishing day #12 of cold turkey from MS Contin (morphine). The first few days are rough but you can do it. I kept thinking "how will I feel a week from now" and it helped get me through. I am feeling better each day thanks to the people like "lisabet" and other wonderful people on this forum. Lean on this forum as hard as you can-these people will hold up and get you through! Follow the "Thomas recipe" if you can-it will help. And never, ever let thoughts of suicide enter your head! Try thinking about those things in your life that bring you pleasure (family, etc.) and think how wonderful it will be to enjoy them without wondering when to take your next pill. YOU WILL MAKE IT! There are living angels on this forum-let them help you. They speak from experience. I know you can make it and pray for you and all who are struggling. Life feels so much better today than it did 12 days ago and I never thought I would make it. But I did and so will you. God Bless and stay strong!
Hey Rex - sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time. Depression can just knock the air out of a person, no matter how strong they are. Hippee posted about an amino L5-HTP; it's a natural antidepressant (sort of a natural prozac); if you go into the google search engine, you can order a 30-day supply for about $25.00. I can't remember if you are already taking an anti-depressant or not, but Michael said it helped him. I was considering ordering it, cause I had a lot of depression and anxiety, but I talked to my internist and he put me back on prozac (which I had used for years, but had been off of for about a year) - this has been a couple of weeks ago, and the fog seems to be lifting. This might also be an option for you; talk to your doctor. I guess we've just screwed up our natural endorphines taking all the vics (brillant people that we are!)...smile. I hate to see you so down....I need my cheerleader back!.... :) Remember, we are all here to help - just the way you've always helped us. I am praying for you, Rex. Things are gonna get better, honey, I really believe that. Check out all the options, including spiritual intervention (prayer) to medical intervention (maybe an anti-depressant?) to love and compassion (us and your family). I know you're feeling down, but please try to post everyday; let us know how you're feeling - everyone here loves you!!! Take care, Lisabet
Man what a spell I just came through. Feeling a little better.
Work stress, plus home stress, plus traffic stress, plus being sick for more than two weeks, plus some mild back pain, and I guess it all came down at once.
You - everyone here - have lifted me up. I had a chance to talk with finished! today right before he went into surgery, and we should all pray for him. He took a spill on his motorcycle and will have ankle surgery today. That oon top of the stomach problems and who am I too complain.
I think that long term opiate use has trashed my nrevous system, because I just feel a lot of anxiety lately. I use the Benzos when it's bad, but don't want another adiction on my hands.
Finished's post is so true - God has a plan and we need to have faith that He knows better than we do.
On the worrying, I would pay a million dollars to learn how to stop worrying and obsessing and I now know that that is what the Vicodin really helped with - cutting down the anxiety.
So now, I need to learn to do that naturally as many of us do, and as non druggies (aka normal people) do.
Thanks for your prayers today gang. I know you guys have problems of your own, so I guess that is why we are all here and this forum is so awesome.
Love and God's Grace to all - please pray for our Pal Finished! as well as all others here including the lurkers, who will soon be coming out of the shadows, looking for help traveling that road which we are so much further down than they are. They need us, our experience, and our coaching, so I will do my best to be here to help. As you help others, you help yourself - a staple of AA/NA.
good to see you are feeling better.
one thing i can atest to and rembering everyone is not the same
but when ever i have taken benzos for sleep since i have been
clean of the vikes, i noticed i get depressed the next day or so after. this is after just taking 1 for sleep.
so i try to steer clear of them, our systems are very senitive.
BESIDES ADDICTION? JUST KIDDING,(I ONCE SAW AN ARTICLE ON VICODIN AND HEARING LOSS AND IVE EATEN ALOT OF THAT AND I DONT HEAR WELL AT 42 BUT HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO LOUD MUSIC AND INDUSTRIAL NOISE WITHOUT HEARING PROTECTION) SINCE YOU HAVENT GOT ANY RESPONSES, AND I KNOW HOW DISCOURAGING THAT CAN BE, I THOUGHT I SAW ANOTHER WEBSITE THAT HAD SOME LONG TERM AFFECTS ON IT(I DONT BELIEVE THERE WAS ANYTHING SERIOUS) BUT IF I FIND THE SITE AGAIN ILL POST IT FOR YA....... COME ON GUYS HELP SIS OUT!
I'm wondering if anyone is or has experienced the lack of motivation during/after detoxing? My mood is such that I don't feel like doing anything. I once was very into looking my best but now I am lucky to make it into the shower and out of my sweats. I now look forward to going to bed at about 8 p.m. adn I don't have any desire to socialize. The only think I am motivated about is redoing one of the rooms in our house. I haved stripped the walls, primed, painted, stenciled, etc but that is the only thing I've felt like doing. I hope this goes away.
Yes its normal unfortunately. Try to drink alot of fluids anyway and get some immodium. The vomiting shouldn't last to long, the diarrhea may last a few day longer. Stay hydrated it really helps. Get in a hot tub and stay in as long as you can. It sucks but it is only temporary. It will all be over soon and you can have your life back.
"The Anxiety Prayer"
(for those of us who are "worry-warts") :)
Forgive me for trying to handle this fear all by myself.
Just now I give it to you.
Weave it into the fabric of my life, as you will.
I trust you, Lord Jesus.
Hey rex, I don't know if you remember me, but I quit taking Norco about 5 or 6 days after you. I have been following your progress as it gives my progress hope. The worst part was (is) the depression and anxiety. I finally saw a psychiatrist on Dec 29th. I explained my situation and told her I did not want to take anything that I could become addicted to. She prescribed me low doses of Paxil and Trazadone...both antidepressants. The Trazadone really lets me get 8 hours of sleep. This in turn eliminates most of my anxiety the following day. I am still nowhere near my normal self....but I can say I am functioning better.
Posted up here since I know its hard for you to read alot of posts while you are helping your daughter through this very sad time. To die at 16 seems so unfair, and it is so hard to understand why, especially for those who are left behind. Your daughter is blessed to have you there to teach her to not be afraid of death. I really think that teenagers get a "free pass" into heaven...they are still children in my mind. I'm trying to remember a passage from the bible that says something like "be grateful in all things even in trials, for it is through trials we learn about faith and endurance and endurance leads to a deeper faith which then leads to eternal life. Do you know the one? I have had alot of friends lately who have lost a loved one. The ones who have a real relationship with God do find that special comfort of knowing that its not really the end. I thank God for the faith he has given me and I thank him for giving it to you.
Oh yeah and the restaurant in Coral Springs with the nut shells on the floor? Road House Grill. :0)
YES,IM AT DAY 4 FROM ANOTHER OXY DETOX, BUT IT GETS BETTER! I BELIEVE THIS HAPPENS TO ALL OF US LONG TERM USERS.(1 REASON) WHEN WE DRINK/DRUG FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME THE BRAIN STOPS PRODUCING A CHEMICAL CALLED DOPAMINE,BECAUSE THE DRINKS/DRUGS IN YOUR SYSTEM ARE TELLING THE PLEASURE PART OF YOUR BRAIN THAT YOUR ALREADY HAVING FUN, AND DOING THE THINGS YOU LIKE TO DO,DONT MAKE DOPAMINE.THEN WHEN YOU STOP DRINK/DRUGS IT TAKES A WHILE FOR THE BRAIN TO START PRODUCING THE DOPAMINE AGAIN.WHEN WE ABUSE OUR BODIES IT TAKES THE BRAIN AND BODY AWHILE TO RECOUP.YOULL FIND THERES ALOTA PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT FEEL JUST LIKE YOU.HANG IN THERE,VITAMINS,GOOD FOOD, EXCERSIZE AND ONLY M&MS FROM NOW ON AND YOULL FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.
Hello every one. About 4 1/2 years ago I broke my neck. I have had other broken bones and used pain meds for only a day or two. While after the neck break I had a C-5 bone fusion and my entire vertabray was plated. I now severe pain in my neck and hands. I started using Percocets "AS PERSCIBED" and everything was fine.Then about 2 yrs ago I was able to get my hands on thousands of meds. I started popping percs like candy maybe 30 a day along with Valiums and xanex to sleep. Go figure I used zanys to sleep after all the other stuff. Then it started using oxy 40-80 thinking I wouldn't use so many percs. While I finally stopped using the xanex about 2 months ago.While like everything the pills ran out. It has been 3 days that I've had anything but they have been "HELL" .I am really scared right now! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO? The pain is still there and I know my doctor would perscribe my percocets again. But I am scared to start this all over again. I was told by MD I would live with this pain forever. I guess I should be glad I can still walk and am alive after my accident? PLEASE anyone have any advice. Thanks
Have yuou been to a pain management Dr? I am so sorry for your pain and also becoming an addict. It is a very difficult combination that many of us suffer. See on the above thread the Thomas recipe to aid your detox. But u do need pain relief! Do u have family member who can effectively hold/ hide your meds and dole em out to you as prescribed? I bet you have high tolerance now as well. Unfortunately it takes more to be effective pain control for many of us. Best wishes for your detox and hope you can get a good Dr. to help you manage your pain!
Thank you for responding.I am almost in tears. I do have someone at home that will moniter my cosumtion. I thought I could handle it but you know as well as I do that is Imposible. I hold a daily job and support my family without any problem but it is catching up to me. I have to young girls that I love very much and am trying to hide this problem from them out of shame.I have read all the posts and do not no what pain management is? Nor do I know what the vitamin recipe is? I have quit cold turkey and it is HELL .IT has been 4 days of pure hell!! Thanks again for your respose it has uplifted my spirits today.
The Thomas recipe is post C28 in the lortab thread. It will help your withdrawal symptoms a lot! AS for secrets from family we all do that out of shame. No one knew about my 10 year addiction but my husband. Do not be so hard on yourself. See that self degredation is part of the addict syndrome that keeps you feeling low and then it makes u use more drugs!
ASk yur Dr for a pain specialist Dr.
Best wishes to you !
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