What is wrong with me?

[The Dude]

I started drugs when I was 18, I've done LSD a few times, I smoked a lot of pot, drank and did mushrooms when I was younger.  Until recently I started with pills, I'm now 25 and it's always been one thing or another with me.  I used to take Vicodin and Percocet for about a year and a half.  I stopped about a month ago, COLD TURKEY.  I just got tired of letting them control my life.  Anyways, I also stopped smoking about two weeks ago, I also quit eating so much as I am overweight and weigh 330 pounds.  I've had tests done on me and all were fine.  I've had a CT of my brain, MRI of my neck and X-Rays of my chest.  I am having very sharp chest pains, sharp headaches and lately I've been noticing my left thumb has been twitching.  It twitches for only a few seconds a day but it bothers me very much.  I'm automatically thinking it's MS, ALS, Parkinson's and all the other stuff.  I'm 25 years old and relativly healthy except being overweight.  My right foot also feels like it wants to shake, but never does.  My hand felt the same until two days ago, then it started shaking.  I don't know what it is?  Could it be very very early signs of a disease of muscles or nerves?  Or is it stress and anxiety?  I do have anxiety attacks ever since I've stopped drugs.  I went to a neurologist about a month ago and did the motor skills test because of my headaches.  But I wasn't shaking then, should I go back?  Is it normal to be feeling like I'm going to die all the time?  Is this only because of the drugs I've done?  I was thinking that it's probably just a shock to me????
  Thanks

[Bijou]

I'm just giving an opinion,but when I was first diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks,I had tingles and tremors in my hands and was convinced I had MS, I devoured every article and book about it,only to find out it was just anxiety and when I was put on 4 xanex a day,the symptoms went away.I was like you in the sense that I dropped acid alot and took pills and snorted coke,so I figured I had ruined myself,when I took X and had a bad trip and thought I was going to die,was when I gave everything up and started having the tremors and chest pains and the fear of dying,It was all Anxiety,I had all the tests too. If I were you,I would think about going to a psychiatrist,they can help ease your fears,since your young,I doubt you have any life threatning illness,the human body is an amazing thing,it can take alot of abuse and still heal itself,and you might want to get on a healthy eating plan or go vegatarian,which is what I did,and I lost 40 pounds! Whatever you decide,Good Luck and you came to the right place,these people on this forum are the coolest.Keep posting....love,Bijou

[The Dude]

Bijou,
Thanks, yeah we put a lot of stress on our bodies when we're young, wether it be drugs, racing cars, getting in fights, I think it's just plain old "Young and Dumb."  You had a bad trip?  I did too, it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.  I wasn't right in my head for 2 years.  I'm ok now though, it's been 6 years since I've touched that ****.  I'm just concerned that there might be a life threatening illness.  But I hope you're right and I thank you for the support.  If you need me, I'm here for you as well.  The mind is a powerful thing, it can mimic diseases, especially the more you read about them, the more you think you have the disease.  In actuality you have nothing even remotely close to the disease. haha Wierd huh?
Thanks
C

[Milo]

Hi, what you describe sounds like classic panic/anxiety symptoms. The drugs could have masked the anxiety previously, and now it's emerging. It sounds like you've been checked over pretty thoroughly medically. I agree w/Bijou on checking with a psychiatrist. Ask the psychiatrist to review your medical test results first (just in case they overlooked something, and to help put your mind at ease) before starting a treatment plan for anxiety. If it's any consolation, I know exactly how you feel. My mind too jumps to the worst possible conclusion immediately. Chest pain = heart attack; headache = brain tumor; not to mention kidney failure, liver failure, and just about every other disease known to science. Ativan has helped with anxiety, and Celexa has helped greatly with panic and obsessional worries. Best of luck! -- Milo

[Thomas]

try anxiety (what's you're job like?) carple tunnel syndrome damage from lots of time on the computer, unresolved psychological issues. It's been too long, in my opinion, for your quitting drugs to be producing these feeling of dying. When I worked an extremely negative job I had constant feelings of dread, including feelings like I was going to go into cardiac arrest on Monday mornings, and tension so bad I could barely write my own signature because my shoulders, arms and hands were so tense. Have you tried an anti-anxiety drug like Xanax at least as a form of diagnosis? As I'm sure you're aware, your weight is extremely high which can be the cause of a lot of problems and associated symptoms. Good luck my friend. See some pros if you can afford it.

Thomas

[jennyfla]

I agree with everyone too.  Sounds like classic anxiety.  I would try xanax at least temporily, to see if it helps.
I had a bad trip when i was 16, and thought for sure i did permanent damage, i had horrible stomach aches.  I refocused, after being checked out by a dr, and started to feel better after i realized that i was ok, physically.
I commend you on your strength in quitting drugs.
I would be concerned about you're weight, although you are young, the older you get, the harder your weight will be on your body.
You sound like a person with great willpower, i would definately seek help from a professional on trying to loose some of your weight before you get older and have problems from it... none that i see from your symptoms, but it puts stress on your heart carrying so much excess weight.  I would concentrate on that especially, and try the xanax to help ease the anxiety.
Try to loose some weight and try xanax (temporary -- it's very addictive), and i bet you will start feeling better immediately!
Good luck to you and prayers!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

Another thing, try some vitamins, especially B1's.  When you abuse your body, your system has a hardtime keeping B's in your system.  B1 directly effect your nervous systems, and lack of that vitamin can make you very stressful.
Also, try B150's (found anywhere), they will give you a calming feeling instantly.  They are watersoluable, and they need to be taken daily to have the most effect!
Good luck!
Jenny

[Durty]

Well, after being a ghost reader for 6 months I decided it was time to say hello.  My story (short as possible..) About 18mos ago I experienced chest pains and went to hospital. Long story short they ended up doing heart catherization on me and results were fine. I'm 36 so that was good news.  Anyway, they messed up the procedure at the femoral artery entry site and leaked blood all through my midsection. Apparently it didn't clot and they didn't listen to my complaints, etc.  Biggest problem was the massive hematoma especially in my groin. The pain was so intense my body was basically shutting down, couldn't talk, shakes, shock, etc.  They had me on percocet & oxy for about a month as hematomes take long time to resolve.  The BAD thing was that the pressure from the hematoma caused severe nerve damage in my groin. I go for nerve treatments now, something called cryoablation where they freeze the nerves. Lasts 3-6 months, then go in again. Anyway, since then I have been on Hydro to help with the pain and live normally.
  Unfortnately, while it got rid of the pain I also got hooked as my tolerance built up.  Eventually I found myself taking way more than prescribed and now it runs me as I can't function mentally without it.  It's got me.  Right now up to 75-85+ mg a day.  Its way more than I need to control the pain and I realized I'm taking it for the high beyond what I need for pain.
  I have tried to stop.  Cold turkey didn't work as the withdrawel took me back to it. Especially when I have to work, can't do my job looking and feeling like like ****. Not to mention the pain comes back. I tried weening myself but when its sitting there I always fall off and track and end up worse.  I have come to crave the stuff bad.
  Taking the advise from you guys I finally called a treatment center and am going in for consultation next week. I can't do it alone. When I got off the phone after making the appt I felt so good inside. Felt like the first victory against this thing.  I know I have a long way to go but I'm ready for it - I hope. My fear is when the pain gets so bad, I won't have a way for relief.  Besides the pain, this constant reminder of such an emotional happening in my life (it really sucked more than I can explain here) really brings me down.  But, I have come to the conclussion that I need to make some changes. Its running me and I'm sick of it.
   My goal is to bust this thing, get off the hydro, then when go back to doc and pain clinic, work with them for something other than opiates to control the pain.  
   I just want to say thanks. Your posts and stories are really what made me realize I do have a problem and gave me the courage and mostivation to get the help I need to bust it. Sorry for the long post, but that makes up 6 months of being a ghost reader. Thanks - Durty

[Milo]

Welcome -- I was a ghost (sure sounds better than "lurker," doesn't it?) for even longer than you were before I got the courage to post. You've come to the right place! I have found people here who are not only knowledgeable but kind, wise, compassionate, and understanding. I wish you the very best of luck with the detox & treatment. I hope they take good care of you to keep any withdrawal symptoms to a minimum (check out TylerDurden's posts below -- a good facility really can relieve most W/d symptoms with non-addictive meds &  common sense). Write any time -- one of us will always be here for you. And your success story will inspire us all. -- Milo

[Witchywoman]

Hi The,
Yes, it sounds like you've probably had a mood disorder for a while, and that the drugs masked it. However, drug use over time can and often does create imbalances in the brain chemistry, especially if you are genetically predisposed to such problems.

I'd really really urge you to speak to a Doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, about what the best biological intervention is. And also, please do talk to a therapist. Trust me on this. Therapy can do a lot to help, and many studies show that the effects of cognitive/behavioral therapy create the same brain changes as medications, as measured by PET scans. Xanax is indeed a good drug for anxiety and panic, but if you can get the anti anxiety benefit from a non habit forming non addictive drug such as paxil, you'll avoid the potential pitfall of benzo addiction, which I hear is BEAR to beat.
In my opinion (and I am a therapist) both counseling and medication are important. They work in unison.

Good luck and welcome to the forum!

Durty...welcome to you as well. I'm so glad that you've been able to be helped here before you even posted. Isn't this site a Godsend? Keep us posted on how you are, and congratulations for taking the step to get into treatment!

love,
WW

[Kerrie]

Hi Milo. I wanted to check on you and see how your feeling? You sure had a close call. Are there long term antibiotics ?  I had an infection in  my bloodstream caused from a kidney infection. My kidneys shut down and I had 105 temp for days. So I know how sick you were. You take care. I have been having a rough time with pain for weeks now. The 7.5's take so long to work and then they don't help very much. I know I need something stronger but I fear doing that. I've taken these for 11 years now though and my back is much worse than it was then plus I've had many surgeries since then. But I fear even asking my doctor for something more even though he treats chronic pain patients with dignity. I really don't know what I could go to anyway. But I don't understand your doctor acting like he's doing you a favor to give you less pain meds in the shape your in. I have 5 mg. oxycodone for severe pain. I usually end up taking one at night to be able to lay down. I only get 40 of them to last 3 months but I get 120 of the 7.5 hydros to last 30 days. I try not to take but 3 a day but lately take the 4th one more days than not. This doctor your seeing now,how can he justify cutting you back this way? This pain is with you for life. I'll shut up now Milo. I just know how it feels to need something for pain and your doctor treat you like that. God Bless you. Your in my prayers friend.
        Kerrie

[Milo]

Bless your heart, I thank you sincerely for your concern, but I think your post was perhaps directed to JB? Physically I'm doing OK -- it's "just" depression and anxiety that torment me. Best wishes for relief & recovery -- Milo

[GJ]

Hey all you Godsends ;-),

As most of you probably know, I'm well into my withdrawal from Percocet, Lortab and Soma, and it's now the tail-end of my 7th day, and all the WD symptoms are gone but ONE that is really plaguing me: HEADACHES, headaches and MORE HEADACHES! Just when I think they're behind me, along comes another excruciating headache that becomes worse if I get up and do anything, it's made it so that I have to restrict any movement as much as possible and I'm really annoyed by it. I'm very sensitive to bright light (it makes me sneeze like I have hay fever), and especially moving objects, it makes my eyes feel like they're straining horribly!

So...is this at all normal? I was "only" taking about 4-5 percocet, 1-2 Lortab 10s and 2 Somas right before I went cold turkey, so I wasn't nearly as far gone as many of you have been. The most I got up to in a day was 8 percocets. Does my NOT tapering off of them have something to do with this? They always start to come on in the afternoon, and I'm not really stressed out about anything. They are a lot like sinus headaches, but they start and don't let up for HOURS! Is this just something to keep dealing with, or might this require some sort of treatment? I feel fine otherwise, but these headaches sometimes cause me to suddenly get really nervous, and my attention-span is next to NOTHING, like I'm stoned! The other night I started to hallucinate a bit too, which also worries me. Need advice. BTW I've taken Valium and Trazadone for the last 5 days which has helped, but I want to stop taking those very badly as I don't want to pick up another addiction (of course)...thanks in advance for any advice, you all are the bestest!!!

-Gabe

[Milo]

As a fellow headache-sufferer, it sounds like you may be having migraines. Can you get checked out by a doc? There are some wonderful, non-addictive migraine meds called triptans (Imitrez, Zomig, Maxalt) that can stop a migraine cold. Studies suggest that combining Vioxx (non-addictive NSAID, like ibuprofin but easier on the stomach) with a triptan may increase effectiveness. Vioxx can also help if you're having tension headaches, and there are plenty of non-addictive alternatives to Soma for muscle relaxation (Skelaxin, Flexeril, Norflex, and Robaxin, which is available legally through OTC Internet mail order from Canada). Elavil and Pamelor, two older & nonaddictive antidepressants, are often used to prevent chronic headaches (though they don't treat headaches in progress). Whether your pain is caused by your detox or not, you shouldn't have to suffer such misery. Hallucinations can, believe it or not, be triggered by a wide range of seemingly harmless medicines (there's a link in the Med Help archives for "anticholinergic poisoning" you might want to check out). Even eye drops have been implicated! Get examined if you can. BTW, trazodone is non-addictive, so please don't worry about taking it to get the sleep you need. Take care, and let us know how you're doing. -- Milo

[niccee]

I agree with Milo. My husband suffers from terrible headaches. He is not an addict. They give him compazine and benadryl IV for his. Good luck.

[nightnurse]

Hi Everyone, Haven't posted much because I have been so busy trying to get the house in shape for when Joe comes home. He went into detox under his therapists advice to a hospital that does dual diagnosis not just detox. I wanted him to go to detox rehab but didn't disbute or even comment. He now found himself in the most depressing place. The Dr's are always busy running so they don't spend much time with you. He is doing the detox with catapres(not sure if thats how you spell it) he says it helps but that the place is making him more depressed .I can't tell the Dr because they'll keep him there longer. I am really dissapointed with his therapist since he suggested this place. He asked that I make the calls and hasn't since called to even find out if he is in there. He's been there since Thurs. I don't get it. Do you think I have a right to say something to this guy? Joe has asked if he called and I had to say no. That threw him into a panic and now he is totally frustrated with the whole system. I'm affraid he'll come out and start right back up again. Please give me some suggestions. I don't want to do or say the wrong things to make matters worse but I can't believe they expect people to get better in these places. I get so depressed after i leave I feel like doing something to lift me , but I don't. What do I do? I left a message with the therapists voice mail to call me but now I'm affraid of what I'll say. ny suggestions would be greatly appreciated asap. Thanks all, hope you are getting through the day.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Kerrie, I do believe you had me and Milo mixed up but that's fine with me.  

Anyway, I had some very serious IV antibiotics for sepsis and cellulitis given me 24 hours a day for several days.  I was pretty much out of it most of the time but the last antibiotic I got was called Levoquin.  I was also sent home with a ten day supply of this in pill form.  Nothing long term.  

Yeah, they had me packed in ice at one point and my temp was still 103.7.  My kidneys were passing large amounts of blood and my liver was inflamed.  My brain was fried. One minute I was begging to die and the next I was begging to live as I was told by the nurses.

I'm getting the big run around about getting any more narcotic pain meds thanks to the VA.  Last week I had to sign a narcotics contract and submit a urine sample.  I will get no more refills until my UA comes back later this week.  I have enough to last two more days if I cut my dosage in half.  I've been trying extra strength aspirin and Naproxyn for relief but that's like pissin' in the wind.  Sometimes life just plain sucks, know what I mean?  Hang in there!  J.B.

[Kerrie]

Thanks J.B. and Milo for understanding my mistake of idenity.I now have to ask who it was having seisures. I don't remember what caused them but I remember everyone warning me about my daughter and the amount she was taking being dangerous if she ran out or quit on her own, because of seisures.
  To try and shorten this, my niece has been having seisures for the last month. Yesterday had to be rushed to hospital by ambulance for horrible seisure. She had total of 5 yesterday, 7 today. To beat all the hospital only kept her overnight. The thing is , she had a prescription fro 70 xanex on Tuesday and as of yesterday they can't be found. She was totally unconcious when my niece found her but came to. Her children have beentaken away from her due to this and more. The social worker said she was still zapped out when she left her. She swears someone stole them but we know better. The thing is, we don't know how many she has taken this week with her party friends or what else.
   How would an overdose of these effect her, then to be without them suddenly? The hospital doesn't want anything to do with her and we find that strasnge but we can't find out what their telling her only what she wants us to know.
     Help if you can. She is at Vanderbilt Hospital as we speak.I'll check later for your responce.
     Thanks, Kerrie

[Thomas]

It was me having the seizures from Xanax withdrawal ...

That's a really scary story ... 7 seizures in one day? It doesn't sound like she was correctly diagnosed at the hospital. Is she stonewalling them about the Xanax? Bad move! She needs to fess up so they can put her on a benzo like Valium with a 200 hr half-life, instead of Xanax with a half-life of only 11 hrs.

here's a site with more info. Good luck.

http:/dencity.com/ashtonpapers/diazepam.htm

Thomas

[Kerrie]

Thanks Thomas. I will check this site out and let you know what happens with her. She's still at the ER in Nashville. I think she is stonewalling a lot of people. I'll get back to you on this.
   Kerrie

[Kerrie]

Hi Thomas, I entered the address as it is written but  it says it won't go through. Is there something missing? I'll check with you later.  
      Kerrie

[Thomas]

that's not the first time I've heard the address doesn't work. Do this instead, go to www.hotbot.com. enter the words ashton and valium and search on that. the right site should come up. good luck.

Thomas