What to Do??

[Linda]

Doctor,

I am married to an alcoholic that after 7 years of sobrity has started drinking again daily.  He drinks just about 24 hours a day, I cant believe how much he can drink and still function on a fairly normal scale, however, by the end of the day he usually passes out, however, sometimes it almost like he drinks his self sober so to speak.  I would suspect he drinks in excess of a case of beer a day most days, and then it seems like sometimes that isnt getting him the buzz he needs so he will top that off with a fifth of whiskey.  I have been down this road before with him however this time seems so different in that he hasnt any desire to stop it seems. He has been in detox and treatments and AA so he does know how to get help if he wants it, however, is there anything i can do to get him to "want to"?  At the present he is working daily and somehow controls it enough to do that, however, after 5 its really time to get into drinking for him and he starts the day with a drink and i suspect takes a few at lunch also.  He is a large man, 6'4 and 230. I do not drink at all myself and cant for the life of me understand the things that drive him to do this to himself.  I really worry alot about this, please advise as I do fuss at him all the time about his drinking.













Thanks

[bob]

There is one thing that you can do....STOP TAKING CARE OF HIM AND GET AWAY UNTIL HE SOBERS UP!! Being a recovering addict I really can't understand the thought processes of our loved ones. My wife took care of me for years of active addiction, even during relapse. My Basic Text (NA....not AA) says that sometimes relapse is the nuclear explosion that can bring about some true recovery. We only seek help from our personal bottom. Your leaving him will help to expedite that bottom. It worked for me. Now we are reunited on the stipulation that if I relapse again, she and the kids are off again. Great motiviation. I hated being alone. But, I would also let some of his AA friends know what you are doing so they can check on him from time-to-time and make sure his depression (it's bound to get there) doesn't become dangerous. You can also call the AA hotline in your town and tell the person on the phone what's happening. They may decide to make a "12th step call".

Good luck!!

Bob