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What to do now?
by needhelpnow, May 28, 2003 12:00AM
I've painted myself into a corner with this heroin addiction. I snort and have been doing it on and off for 4 years. The longest I've stayed clean is 8 mos and then 6 mos. Now I've been using for the past 8 mos. and cannot seem to stop for more than 2 days! It gets harder and harder. This disease is progressive for sure. What can I do? I really feel like it will NEVER end. Help!
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Don't give up on recovery, I was into narcotics oxycontin, morphine, & all kinds of pills. I started to snort oxy's ended up taking massive amounts I'm 49yr F chronic pain patient. I was getting drugs from 2 different doctors, Doc shopping, ran out of meds doc's pulled my pharamcy records, cut me right off of drugs!!! Well now my insurance won't cover detox from opiates, I was forced to do the "COLD TURKEY BLUES" thought I was gonna die. It has been a little over a month clean now, and I still have problems but it gets better everyday. I will pray that you will have the strength to do battle w/ the Dragon for it is misery!!!!! E-mail me if you want to talk. You are in my thoughts.
PoppyLover
rw/c
i OD'd on heroin just before christmas and almost died, actually, i hear that i DID die but got brought around by CPR, i wouldn't know as i was not "present" at the time.
i have been in inpatient treatment 13 times. the longest i have stayed clean is 8 years. i have had some horrific withdrawls coming off of dope... but when you play with fire...
i have been clean five months the 24th of this month. after i OD'd in december i ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks with pancreatitis. gave me alot of time to think about things.
withdrawls suck ass... they do, there is no changing that. but there really isn't any other way to get clean without going through the agony of withdrawl. i have seen something called the "thomas recipe" on this board and it really seems like a god/dess send. see if you can get someone who has it to post it. then get your butt into some sort of support system. NA or something. if you are allergic to NA check out the work sheets on this board in the smart recovery section. and post here a bunch and get support here. get all the support that you can. you will need it. and remember, we are just as sick as the secrets we keep. that one has kept me honest more than once...
there is another forum where some folks hang out at, if you are interested in it email me at: ***@****. it is different that this type of forum in that it is much simpler to use! not as pretty as this forum but you can post all you want! no waiting in line, lol!!!
good luck!
peace,
amber
ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST.
oxic posted it then i posted how i took it
E-mail me if ya like.
***@****
Peace and Love,
Suzie
Good idea, thanks for sharing.
Chezz
While passing through the mall today, I saw a sign that GNC now carries it. So the next time I am in there I am going to pick up a bottle or two(since they have that special if you buy one the second is half price).
Its just what I read so who knows. But I do know that low magnesium levels is what causes RLS as well as other things. That is even when you are taking opiates, you can get the overall feeling of your legs just not feeling right. So I am going to pick some up and see how it works.
Stuff like that can't hurt.
that is why I have also been taking Centrum for the last year, just to make sure I am getting the vitamins I need to help me heal faster. Or at least help my back in some way. I also take up to 3grams of vitamin C. Since I am a smoker it helps the oxygen uptake in your blood, believe it or not.
Just my little things I do to try and help my body heal.
Chezz
Thanx
Good luck.
Thank You for your time.
thanx for everyone help....this place really helps people like me that thinks i am all ALONE IN THE WOURLD AND NO ONE GIVES A SHITT.......THANX
Hold on and you will make it
Congrats on your progress! Might I suggest stopping long enough to turn and flip the monkey the bird?
What an accomplishment! You should really be proud of yourself! The rest of life is GRAVY, isn't it?
Your words and experience are helping me. I am ever grateful. Seventeen days C/T and boy I am really truly having a difficult time. I was one of those that thought that because every thing I took was prescribed and not illicit that somehow I was not an addict. Now I feel really stupid. You are all so right. Who cares why we take it. The body getrs addicted whether or not a doc said we can take it. Wow was I fooling myself! Sorry. Anyway, I started Benzos after my sister was murdered in 1992. From there I was on them so long to be able to sleep and sure enough in two years I began having a paradoxycal effect that caused me to get migraines and diagnosed epilepsy (hopefully it is a farce) in addition to crazy memory lapses where I did things I honestly didn't believe I would ever do. The Benzos stayed on board nearly 10 years. Then tbere was demerol and every pill possible (except oxycontin) to work on the migraines (which I hope are a result of the benzos and not the epilepsy). Then phenobarbitol was there for the seizure disorder. Recently I also got third degree burns for which I was on very high doses of Morphine from February 24th until 17 days ago. Morphine is a big gun to me. Wow what a tough one! But the fact is, I also discontinued benzodiazapines (name your poisen, xanax, ativan, valium, temazapam and so on) about a week or so before that and the phenobarbitol about a month ago. So I am sort of having a triple stop. Wow. --- I noticed the use of both pheno and benzos in some posts. I know they said only a week (possibly two) but I just want to emphasize the importance of that. Benzos are very very addictive -- WHile going through this withdrawl I am getting the most relief from the muscle pain - which can be a result of stopping either one of these - from exercise. As I understand it, the reason the exercise helps is because the adrenaline in our bodies is fairly high when withdrawing (up to 6 times normal) and thus we are essentially in a constant fight or flight mode. This causes the muscles to tighten and the body to be ready to run or fight. Thus we need to get rid of the adrenaline somehow... exercise, singing for me too, things that use the adrenaline up and also distracts our minds. This is what I have read and there may be another explanation - anyone know? Either way it helps me the most to exercise even though I don't feel like it.
Today was really rough. Paced, wished I had someone to talk to. I made it. I will be able to atend meetings in a couple of weeks Ok, so now I have really really rambled and told maybe too much.
The bottom line is I have learned so much from you that I really needed to know going through this. I thank you for your posting and your knowledge. You seem like quite a supportive group. My best to you all. Any gems of advice are appreciated. Thanks again so much,
Debbie
got me every time , no to mention the restless legs that
made sleeping very difficult.
i am now 13 months clean thanks to everyones support here
and all the information i learned about pain meds.
i was clean in na for 16 years, and had to take pain meds for rotator cuff operations, when my brother and motherinlaw and sponser all died withen 6monts i started abuseing the pain meds
and at the time i was clueless as to what the consequenses
were going to be, having the life sucked right out of me.
kep up the good work and keep posting.
peace hippy my prayers are with you.
"Doctor, my sexmares seem to be subsiding. Could you hook me up on another Detox?"
Peace,
Methman
Methman - hmmm sexmares? sounds better than nightmares. I am wondering if the nightmares are something that is specifically a part of methadone w/d. I am not getting much more than 3-6 hours of sleep and that is throughout the day. I don't have many nightmares though and I count myself lucky. I didn't sleep well for ten years though so I am just actually amazed that I can sleep at all. It is actually amazing to me that I can fall asleep at all. I was always jealous of those that could. One word of concern though. I don't know if anyone is on benzodiazapines (generally any medication that ends in "am") but they themselves do cause restless sleep and nightmares. Had that for about ten years because of them. Now off it is less.
I am again paranoid about SSRIs. I was prescribed Zoloft for depression. I always just assumed that the depression was circumstantial. It's not like I didn't have reasons for depression. I took it (zoloft) for maybe three days and won't take it anymore due to the w/d sx I have read about on this and other boards. I simply can't take w/ding from anything again. I might need it later but for now I am fine without it. Anyone w/d from SSRIs here? Is there anything that we don't withdraw from? Don't think so - I know I was always concerned about the SSRIs as the blocked reuptake of seratonin causes increased levels of seratonin to be in our system and at first that is fine but as with anything else I believe our body acclamates and since there is more seratonin available, the body takes it as not needing to produce as much and eventually we are back to the same amount of seratonin however when we stop taking the reuptake inhibitors, wse have adjusted to not needing to make as much so we have to go through a period of time where the seratonin levels are extremely low. I suppose that is why the taper is so very important with this class of drugs. I am terrible at tapering though. Kind of an all or none type.
What I would like to know is how others deal with paranoia if indeed this is something common in w/d. Could be it is just part of my inherent personality I don't know. Do others get paranoid? If so how do you tolerate it and adjust? Best to all, especially all that are in the first days of the w/d process. I wanted to die! I didn't even have the most pain until day three. That lasted day 3 to day 5. That was the most terrible experience I have ever had! Possibly more painful than 3rd degree burns. Each day has been progressively better but still painful. Thanks hippee for acknowledging me. Was really nice. Good luck and keep the faith.
In June of 2001, after my next-to-last rehab, I was placed on Effexor XR (venlafaxine). Eventually, I was up to almost 200 mg a day. The first month or so on this drug was really weird. I seemed to have NO emotions, I mean, about ANYTHING. It was kind of odd and unsettling, but since at the time I was coming off of one of the worst depressive cycles in my life, I didn't complain.
Eventually, the feeling of "nothing" subsided. Amazingly, I actually continued taking this drug while on my last relapse (spring 2002), so I never knew what it would be like to stop taking it until that August.
I found myself then without prescription drug insurance coverage and the realization that my month's supply was over $200.00 cash. Well, between that fact and the "male problems" the drug was giving me (initially, not so bad, but at that time, it was to the point where I could do everything BUT have an orgasm. . .not to get too personal, but kinda took the fun out of it, if you can sympathize) -- I decided to stop taking it, weaning myself rapidly down from five 37.5 mg caps daily to zero inside of two weeks.
Big, big mistake. I can quite honestly say (and you guys can appreciate the OOMPH of this statement more than the Average Bears) that this was the ABSOLUTE WORST withdrawal I have ever had. . .from anything. As miserable as I was, in no other withdrawal did I:
-- feel like I was insane
-- have what felt like "shocks" every few seconds along EVERY NERVE in my body
-- want to kill others
and so on. I realized something was really, really wrong one day when I looked into the living room and saw my two kids playing and wondered for a minute who they were and what they were doing in my house.
Well, went back to my doc (who was flabbergasted at what I'd done and said I should have simply come to him for samples if I was having trouble paying for the meds -- this guy is a keeper, folks, lemme tell ya) and after I expressed my desire to come off of Effexor anyway (I could never keep taking it after the nightmare I'd been through), he gradually weaned me off of it by introducing Prozac during the withdrawal, which made the symptoms almost completely disappear. Still on the Prozac, BTW, and for the record seems to be working even better than the Effexor ever did. . .much less of that disconnected, flattened affect feeling. And less "male trouble" as well. ;)
Anyway, sorry for another novel-length rant. . .but I know many of us with substance-abuse issues also have mental health issues, with depression being a very common one among "our little group". Before you start ANY meds, even for depression, make SURE your doctor knows your FULL history (as mine does) and that he or she is knowledgable AND honest enough to give you the "real deal" on how any proposed meds will affect you -- especially concerning the issue of withdrawal. We've all put ourselves in that situation by our own hand before -- the last thing we want is to end up hooked on something we thought wasn't going to "get" us.
Peace,
Kurt
Thank you so very much for that info. I think I will NOT take the zoloft. Funny, I did spend a couple of years in medical school before life events and my drug mess made it so that I needed to stop but I never even guessed that there was a ssri withdrawl other than my knowledge of systems and my suspicions. We were not told about this and regularly very little is taught about drug withdrawl. We only had one full semester of Pharmacolgy which in reality please remember you must look out for medication interactions and side effects yourself. The pharmacist is a great person to ask but most of the time you must double check to make sure there are no contraindications between meds or any disorder you may have (ie. my seizure disorder). always read the insert but remember the drug companies are required to add any possible side efect to eliminate possibilities of lawsuits so these may seem like they are of little help. The pharmacist generally knows what the most common side effects are. Another great resource is "poisen control" which has information about meds in addition to being able to identify any medication you might have by simply telling them the color shape and numbers/letters on the pill. Be sure to be vigilent. Enough preaching, sorry.
I had heard of the side effect of not being able to ejaculate. There is a term for that but I forgot what it is. All I can say is that if I had a significant other that had the same side effect I too woulld try and be understanding but it would be frustrating. Sexual problems following medication intake is one of the top reasons patients are not compliant. Who can blame us? The initial time period with this problem was probably quite enjoyable for your partner though hehe.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It helps me to decide not to take the zoloft. If I become suicidal or something then I will reasses but I hate withdrawl. Forget it! Especially that it sounds so terrible!
OH... The SSRIs including Prozac, zoloft, celexa I think and so on, there is a program for those that can't afford it. Your psychitrist must simply sign a form and send it in explaining that you don't have the monies and you NEED the medication an the drug companies themselves will send a three month suppply to the psychitrist. You must ask about the program. I assure you it does exist so try not to find yourself decreasing too rapidly.
Feel much better today. Roller coaster I guess but this, day 18 is the first time I have actually felt semi good! wow.
One other thing, sorry. Lomotil which is a prescribed medication for the runs, does have a small amount of narcotic content in it. It also has atropine (or something like that) I think to avoid abuse. It is such a small amount that it might help the withdrawl but taken too long it could prolong w/d a little. It has a very small amount of meperidine/demerol in it I believe. Small amount. Narcs bind us as anyone here knows.
Thanks all and best to you Kurt. Thanks again.
Peace,
Kurt
Thomas Detox Recipe
PLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas
This recipe is designed for cold turkey opiate detox. It assumes that you can get about 5 to 7 days away from your job or household responsibilities during which you can sleep, veg and act as miserable as you feel. Opiate WD mimics the symptoms of the common flu, so, if you need a smokescreen, hide behind a bad case of the flu.
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (immodium) (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium (immodium) aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
With breakfast, take the mineral supplement.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
PLEASE NOTE: If you have any medical complications, first check with your doctor before detoxing to verify that this regimen is safe for you.
NEVERMIND.
OK are U the Rachael Hunter that I know? It is just so odd that you would come here and use your name but if it is you, email me!
Peazy, you are in sooo much trouble. You and your little friends. You Babes whisper all these sweet nothings into my ears
and then let the thread close without me being able to reply. But I was stuttering so it wouldn't have been pretty. OK I am waiting here! Bill
***@****
He's out for the hook up, yo.