What to do?

Hi,

  I am an addict in recovery/ out of recovery and I want to be IN recovery.  Anyway, lemme just say what's going on.  I did my whole withdrawal trip 7 1/2 months ago.  I have been able to relapse here and there without getting physically addicted again.  My DOC at this point is any milligrams of Oxycontin/ percocets...you get the drill.  Before it was norcos, but I found I just turned into a Biyatch when taking too many of them.  Anyway...I don't want to be dependent on ANYTHING.  Does anyone know how long it takes before your BODY (not your mind) gets addicted to opiates again?  My guess is everyone is different.  Well, I got an Rx of Percs (10 mgs) 5 days ago.  They are all gone now.  As of 2 minutes ago.  60 of them.  I don't think I will get 'sick' tomorrow.  I have fibromyalgia and am able to take 2-4 ultrams per day for the pain without any problems.  I used to take upwards of 20-30 or more norcos a day.  The only problem is that I am in this mindset that I have to have SOMETHING to make every fun activity even more fun, and if I don't have it, I am bored.  I don't want to go on this way.  I just got a job 3 weeks ago after 4 years of being out of work, which, thankfully my husband has stuck by my side and my kid is so happy that I have a job again.  He's 15 now.  He knew about the whole problem I was having.  And I am not using at all during work and never will.  I am so grateful to have this job, it is a lifesaver.  I just need some advice/ support.  I have everything to be grateful for and am so happy I am not DEPENDENT on opiates anymore.  Why can't I just be happy?  I guess writing this out is SOME therapy for myself, cuz I feel a little better already, but if anyone else is going thru this on again/ off again affair with painkillers and has some advice on how to better deal with it, please let me know.   Thanks guys.  And I know I sound like an idiot, so I don't need those types of responses.  Just some help.

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  You will find a lot of support here.

I am rather confused right now as you say you are glad you arent dependant on opiates anymore but you just took all of your script in 5 days?  Do you take ultram on a daily basis too?