When does life become normal after oxy, perc, tab, withdrawls?

[wifeofanaddict]

My husband is nearing the 14th day of being clean.  I am wondering when life will become normal again. Or will it every be normal again? Sometimes I feel like life was normal when my husband was looking for pills all the time, and snorting pills all the time.  Our life is different now, its better but its odd.  Its odd because our routine has changed, we have money now, we have noninterupted time together, the phone isn't ringing off the hook like it used to.  I am wondering will I get used to the quiet atmosphere in our house.  My husband gets so crazy sometimes trying to sleep(because its so quiet) he starts arguments with me.  Give me some advice, Please.
How do I deal with this and how do I help him deal with it?

Thanks,
wifeofanaddict

[hydromike]

i'm a new member/addict but iv'e read every letter and i like what i've read so far, good luck to all of us afflicted with this hell on earth

[hulio]

im going through withdrawl

[hulio]

is this .

[hulio]

i am here to give hope to my m/fm addicts,i am going through withdrawl i tried it my own but i could not do it.i had to go to emergency,i was lucky they took me in i was taking 6oo mg of oxy a day for 3 years . before i wemt to the hospital i went to my doctor and he gave me clonidal, for give my spellingggg,the stuff made me flip out ,all it did mafe me sleep fore 20 mintes and make my withdrawl worse thats when i went to the hospital.i dont rember the first 2 days i was told by my girl i was out of it i hit her i hit the doctor they had to get  a sercity gard to watch me to keep me from leaving my room when i came out of it the third day i was told what i did ,there is no worse felling than not rembering what you did and hurting the people you love.they gave me adavin foor the three days and sent me home with a scrip of neurontin i take four 300mg tabs a day they are great no leg cramps at all.the rest is pretty mellow i feel crapy but that is a given,oxys are beyound brutal but can be beat one day at a time this is my 9th day as i am writing this letter .you cant sit around you must keep active its hard but it helps your body can take it push your self good luck .

[angst]

it sounds like you are doing better.  i am thankful, because i was worried about the slashing of wrists and thoughts like that.
please keep posting.  we need you.  i need you.  you have enough to deal with that husband of yours.  too bad that a few of us cannot get hold of him.  he better quit bossing you around.  you have a good head on your shoulders and you are doing well. do not let him bring you down.  your daughters need you more than his insecurities.  good luck and hang in there.  post and let me know how you are.  good luck and Blessings,  Ava

[oh please already]

There r ways,like you im amalso trying to quit an absurd amont of oxy 600- 800 plus- its amasing we r not both dead.ITS gonna suck but not as bad as u think,a few weeks ago i was ready to just quit- life i mean and then i found here and these people gave me the reason and hope to try-I tried tapering -ha ha ha ha ha,tried cold turkey-insane and then i started listening and that seem to be working- get the recipe- i was able to drop by half with very little discomfort-then i told my the cloadine was effective for me- it got rid of the skin crawls which i was haaving the most trouble with,then i told my doctors and there were a few to tell ,some were assholes and some were downright mean but one is helping- he gave me a fentyl patch and that controls the pain and withdrawl while at the same time breaking the cycle i had fallen into of reaching for a pill with each bump in life-when i have it on- between that and the clondine,most of the time pills dont cross my mind and i am finding it easier and easier to go longer between pills because i just dont need them- keep buzy  .I cant tell u yet how it will turn out because i still have a very long road to go,but i am down to 1/8 of the meds i was taking,not cutting my wrists and life is looking better without the drug haze. So take it one step at a time and it will work out  laura  keep posting and move to the top of the forum,your not butting in,and keep posting,sometimes it will take a while to get a response so shout up when u need help-you are worth it,MOVE TO THE TOP OF THE FORUM

[angst]

if you can, get in touch with your doctor or an addition specialist, they can give you a schedule from which to taper, also a cocktail of meds that you need to detox.  i do not feel comfortable telling you where to taper at what time.  can you talk to your doctor?  if you want to get clean, you will not worry about him cutting you off of the drugs.  tell the doctor you are working and need to detox while you work.  it will be uncomfortable, but do-able, of that i am sure.  good luck and Blessings, Ava.

[jonesing247]

Thanks for the advice angst....... what would you reccomend I jump down to? After 240-640mg of Oxycontin a day Ive been told that I really have no hope in hell. I dont know. Im just so confused and its pre-occupying my time thinking about this every waking hour. In the back of my head all I can think about is the coming storm. Should I just tell the boss and the parents I caught the flu and sit at home for 7 days or will this not work? Im not the type of person thats very brave.... I dont know if I could kick this and go to work at the same time, feeling depressed and lethargic. I mean, ive cut down to TWO 80mg oxy's a day and i feel like i am going through withdrawl. Some people are feeling harsh W.D.'s off Lortab......how am i going to possibly do this?

[angst]

you are young.  if you can taper down and get something less potent to take you further down.  You can probably do this and work.  It will not be easy.  You'll need immodium ad and drink lots of gatorade.  there is another recipe, you can find it further up in the posts for a natural way of helping your body snap back quicker.  You can do it.  You could come clean with your doc, let him give you a cocktail of clonodine, a long acting benzodiazapine (be careful here-they are also addictive), and other things you may need to stay on the job.  it will not be fun but it is do-able.   Good Luck

[jonesing247]

Hello all, i just signed up, and i think its great how everyone here communicates and helps one another. Aside from the times when the drugs take over I've always found addicts (like myself) to be very compassionate and helpful people. Anyways, enough of that. I started taking percocets around this time last year. Id end up taking 7 or 8 at a time by then end of my percocet days. Then the graduation to Oxycontin 80mg. I started off in January with a 1/4 a day. Since about Feb/March I have been taking anywhere from 4 to 8 80mg pills a day, chewed of course. Considering that im flying through prescriptions of 60 within a week and a half, and running out of excuses to refill, I feel that I must taper down to quit. I was doing nothing until the past Monday when I started a job. I wanted to be clean before I started work, but that didnt happen. Im now taking 2 a day trying to taper down but im already feeling cold and miserable. Im 23 years old and i dont want to tell my parents my situation and ask them for money for rapid detox. How hard will this withdrawl be? And how should I go about doing it? Feeling cold, sweaty and irritable, sincerely,  Sleepless Mark.

[Lostgirl]

Day three, still can't eat.  Doing this alone.  The kids don't like me very much.  A great lady from NA gave me some help to keep to a minimum.  But I can't keep yelling at my kids from the bathroom! I got my sense of humor back today.  I tried to talk to my sister long distance.  Is she ever out there!  What us working people would call a Millionaire's housewife that plays tennis and picks up dry cleaning and kids!  Hasn't worked a full time job in 10 yrs!  She is "trying to relate" to what I am going through!  What a laugh.  Today the worst was not the physical part....it was looking for that rather large bottle of Lortab that usally sits on my nightstand.  I just want one, but I don't!  Sounds weird.  Hickster:    As for posting closer to the top and "hijacking a thread"  I have no clue as how to do that.  I am not sure how I am going to go to work tomorrow.  Luckily it is here at home but I don't think that they realize have have don't nothing for over a month!  They are going to cut off the business electric and mine to boot.  I have no energy from the Xanax and the Lomotil.  Thank good in real life I have always hated Xanax!  Who wants to sleep through everything.  I used to be the life of the party with a couple of Lortabs down!  I know I am rambling.  Sleep is very hard.  Used to be that I would take a 1/4 pc of .5 Xanax and it would knock me out for atleast 12-14 hours!  now I am lucky for 6 tops. So where do i go from here?

[lfrankbaum]

having started to come off of it ,after a 1yr hx of oxcocet, and decades of codeine; i guess i am doing all right..hot flushes have minimalized; i guess the reason i felt i had to start was that my children are still young, and we want  more children; what is embarassing is how i convinced myself i was a better person on meds than off; and as well that i felt that i was a non-addict as i did not like to drink...it is so hard to call one's self what one is AN ADDICT, yet have to keep it a secret as i could lose my job ,family, friends, even while i actually recover...making it harder to recover; BUT i must recover. it is nice to come to a forum where i can be honest. nothing can destroy self -esteem ( and hence continue the addiction cycle) more than trying to figure out who to lie to next to get the pills...i will be in touch .ask any questions, and thanx for listening

[Hinkster]

The first thing I would do is try posting more towards the top.
People are more apt to see it and will help you. The people
around here do not care if you so call hijack a thread. That is
really trivial here. All of the people who post are your friends
and would love to do anything possible to help you but they have
to see it first. So jump right in. Good luck.
Tom

[Lostgirl]

I total of 24 hours has gone by!  I hate it already.  After two years of Lortab and cough medicine.  I have become addict.  It didn't start that way.  I was sick with the flu and the cough medicine.  After the while the cough stuff didn't work and I was already taking the Lortab for migraines and back pain.  Maybe one in the evening.  Then it got to be I took it as soon as I got up, let's not even mention the vodka I was drinking straight out of the bottle.  I had the forthought to stop drinking the vodka but I kept rationalizing the Lortab.  It made it feel okay for me to go out in public and be accepted.  I was the like fo the party and I wasn't even drinking.  It was courage in a bottle.  My last relaitonship did a real number on my self esteen.  (Quess what he did for a livinging?  Dr. Feelgood DO)He gave me the Zoloft and other antidepressants. Though I found out that he gave them to all of his other women when they got close to figuireing out he was having affairs left and right. But back to now.  I was getting RX for 200 10mg.  When I realized that I had taken all of them before the end of the month.  I decided to try to taper off.  FORGET THAT!!!  There was always that adidict rationalization to get youto take it.  

The hardest part (besides actually typing this ! Hands are not working so well..LOL)is that I should know better.  My two ex-husbands are both drug addicts.  Coke seem to be there drug of choice.  My biological father and his family are funcitoning alchoholics.  I can understand the people that don't want to tell anyone.  My regular Doc trusted me and I lied to him.  Stole from families and friends.  

I really am at a lose,  I am having several symptoms of withdrawl.  But I am not sure that I can get to the Pharm.  to buy your so called Cocktail. Can't stop crying.   I really get worried what will happen to my children if I do get this under control.  And what do I do with the pain?  I have not got any work done in the last week.  My mother is useless in helping.  She is such a control freak.  I can totally see why people commit suicide over this.  though in my house that is not an option.

What do I do now?

LostGirl

[rowanshyne]

Frankly, that was stupid. My response I mean.

Wren

[angst]

groovygirl hit the nail on the head when she said we addicts and chronic painers have to be responsible for what we are taking.  if we allow ourselves the comfort of not feeling anything, we will have to suffer the consequences.  they will come.  then we want to blame the doctors, the meds, anyting but ourselves for taking them when we knew it was too much.
A pain specialist-usually an anesthesiologist who specializes in pain control-may be just what you need.  They often try to keep you at the lowest amount of drugs you have to have to function.
Good Luck.

[groovygirl]

hi - is your husband actually prescribed that amount of pills per day? it's hard to believe a dr. would prescribe 15 norco and 8 somas...and, does he recommend washing them all down with beer? if that is the case, he should be shot. otherwise, it sounds like your husband is the one with the problem, and he's killing his liver...norco and booze do not mix.

what really bugs me is when people become addicts...have been lying to their doctors and then turn around and sue them for malpractice.  that's a huge reason why people with real chronic pain cannot get what they need...doctors have become so paranoid and with good reason in many cases.

maybe this doc is too liberal with the meds, but your husband isn't being forced to take them.  we, as addicts, really need to take some responsibility for what we've become and stop blaming the medical world.  no one puts a gun to our heads and tells us to take 30 pills in a day...

sorry if i'm coming off sounding bitter, but i do have chronic pain, and i have learned that many docs have been screwed royally by their pain patients...blaming and taking them to court just makes it all the more impossible for those who really need the meds.

[rowanshyne]

All those drugs at *once*?! Your husband's Dr. should be shot, but with any luck you can sue him for malpractice.
Your husband needs to see another Dr. ASAP, hopefully a pain specialist.
There may be other circumstances I'm not aware of, but on the surface, this looks frightening.

Wren

[brandy girl]

i don't have a comment, i have a question.  My husband has chronic back pain and has been given (legally by, as we call him, Dr. Feelgood)norco, duragesic patch 75 mg, duragesic "lollipops", neurontin, elavil, meprobamate, soma, and he washes them all down with a couple of cases of beer a week.  he takes approximately 12-15 norco a day, 4 neurontin, 6 or 8 soma, 4 or 6 meprobamate, 2 or 3 elavil.  Is is me, or should his Dr. be shot?

[angst]

Dilaudid took me away from everything and everybody.  Dilaudid was my family, lover, and god.  It is stronger than morphine and almost anything except good heroin and opium itself.  Oxy's are bad, because oxycodone is not meant to be shot.It does not come in an injectable form.  Dilaudid does. The pills are water soluble.  The high from oxy's lasts longer, but the kick is not as strong as with d's.  A lot of people are on methadone or buprenex to kick oxy's and dilaudid.  Other brave souls are using the recipe and kicking on their own cold turkey.  Depending on how much your friend is using, it could be dangerous for him to kick cold turkey.  This sight has good advice.  Listen to some of the others.  Go back and read what they have to say.   Good Luck with the friend.  Remember - he has to want to do it.  You cannot heal him.

[falulah]

my friend is trying really hard to quit oxys, or so he is letting me believe, he also has a dilauded problem, and he is trying to ease his way out of everything, but i am not sure how to help him do this the best way possible.  he is thinking about quitting the oxy al together and just doing the didauded to keep him from getting really sick, but i don't know anything about these dilaudeds, and i don't really think he does either.  he is down to about 40 mg of oxy every other day, and is about to try and cut to 20s, every other day.  is this doing ANYTHING?!?

[angst]

I understand your apprehension regarding the end of your taper.
I was ready to detox off methadone the first time, and stayed clean for 6 months.  That is not a lot to many people, but it was for me.  Methadone works for me.  I also do not have the option of the buprenex detox.  Can you talk to the nurses or doctor at the buprenex clinic?  Tell them you are not ready to detox yet.  If you have reservations about staying clean, you have to do something sure.  Do you go to NA?  A home group might help keep you clean 24 hours at a time.  It is hard for me because I do not exactly believe in the 12 step method.  Lossing my will and choice is like losing myself.  Today I choose not to pick up.  I am strong and mean when it comes to drugs.  I was battered enough during my years of chronic pain and legitimate use and illicit use after that.  Methadone saved my life this time.  I surely will not stop until I am ready.  I have a doctor's appt. this morning.  Gotta go for now.  Good luck.  You can make it with the right help and your own strength.  Angst

[groovygirl]

wow - your post was amazing.  i really feel that i truly know where you are coming from.  but, i don't have that faith that you seem to possess...i've yet to find my "higher power" - i'm not even sure what that means.  i'm not a religious person, but i don't think a higher power is necessarily about god.

i have plenty of reasons to live...and live a healthy life.  i tell myself that all the time, but it doesn't stop the destructive behaviour.  i'm not sure what i need to "see the light" - do i have to lose everything to get there?

i'm still on the buprenex taper....but the day i stop for good is the scariest thing in the world to me.

[angst]

When i was in treatment, off all drugs, in a state of extreme anxiety, i did not have a divine experience.  I had a heart attack, a real M.I.  I am spiritual since I have my life and psyche back somewhat.  I know the methadone and xanax make me feel normal.  I will detox again off the methadone when the cravings are lessened.  I am strong and mean when it comes to picking up again.  The psychotrophic drugs-xanax and trazadone-seem essential for my disorders.  The only benzo I cannot take is valium.  I tried it at a treatment center, and I became so depressed that I wanted to die.  I left the Club Med of treatment centers.  I found my divine power inside myself.  Sometimes it is that unconscious will to survive when I've prayed to die.  Other times it is a precious holiness I cannot explain to anyone else.  My higher power did not get me into drugs, and I had to get myself out of that environment and mind set.  When I was weak in body, I was strong spritiually.  I went though so much gut wrenching guilt.  I felt worthless. I thought everyone would be better off without me - that was totally irrationally thinkiing.  Then, I started slowly to find the higher power I had opened my heart for many, many years ago.  Guess what, it was still there with open arms.  I've had to do
a lot of work on myself to feel worthy of a divine power.  I guess you could say I have thought very little of myself at times with good cause.  Relapses have taught me more than I wanted to know.  Thanks for sharing.