I am once again trolling, reading, crying & admiring every one who seem to be so much stronger & more determined than me..But today I am making a LIST of the STUFF while I am able to still get there in one piece...my spouse thinks I am weak, selfish & sorely lacking of will-power even though he is a full-fledged alcoholic...funny how I am envious of alcoholics, they can get their fix @ the local grocery store but I digress. I am so TIRED of it ALL.. I have to STOP before it is too LATE which in fact it has been for many years now...Sometimes I truly believe DEATH would be better than the life I have now. If not for my children it would be a no brainer..I'm not contributing anything..they actually would probably be better off without me. I know I sound horrible but the truth is the truth & if I can't tell you...my peeps.. the truth.. who can I tell...nobody wants to hear my moaning anyway & you're a captive audience, so to speak. Sometimes I really just don't give a sh!t anymore @ anything..Life gets harder & harder to bear & the only answer seems to be in those magical pills that I love to HATE...WOW..reading over this post sounds like a very depressed person...I have a ZOLOFT Rx that I never fill because it seems to do nothing to help. I suppose I should give it a try once again..Do you think by starting an anti-depressant before the W/D it would help any? Also, the L-Tyrosine..where can u find it? And what actually does it do?? I'm going to read & research & pray today...so I apologise for my attitude...just had to get it off my chest..Thanks....I'm here all week...Don't forget your bartenders & waitresses..
You have to give the AD time to work. Have you talked with your doctor about what is going on? You need to do this as you have many things going on here. Your kids WONT be better off without you. Your life is worth fighting for. As for being envious of alcoholics, please rethink that. I am also a recovering alcoholic and having it out in the open everywhere you go isnt a picnic for us. It is a death sentence for many of us. Grocery shopping can be a challenge.
Are you able to see a therapist? I would really recommend that. You are in a very toxic relationship also. How much are you taking now?
I am sorry to joke @ the alcohol...I can only imagine how I would be if Lortab were lined up there right beside the Advil & Tylenol...must take tons & tons of willpower...I've been lucky enough to avoid that addiction but if I'm out @ a party with drinks all around I end up going overboard...& making a fool out of myself..I do need therapy but with no ins or $$ it would be a challenge..I'm not really a religious person although I am a spiritual one & believe in KARMA which my karma bank is probably way overdrawn by now. The job situation is tricky because I was exposed to my demons every day...got to rethink the career. So I am essentially being KEPT by my husband now & with little family support I will have to stick it out until I get well enough to support myself..
Is it only available @ healthfood stores? No big box stores?? Have u ever heard of Chinese herb dragonbone? It is supposed to increase willpower & inner strength..Those Chinese got it going on with the herbs...
i would not take the Ltyrosine for the first days,... then you should start with the lowest dose to see how it works for you, whoa... some people feel jittery, like drinking tons of coffee... I would also start with the antidepressant...see if it works, it may take some time but you will see...
for the first days, immodium, lots of liquid ( gatorade, green tea, tonic water, apple/orange juice... all of them are good for a reason ), mineral supplements ( magnesium+calcium, potassium ), Hylands restful legs, epsom salts ( you will feel much better after a hot bath with them, even if it is short time lived, it is a relieve ) , advil... vitamins complex, B's, C......valerian root and melatonin
BUT.... and this is a big BUT...i am answering thinking at my highest moments of energy when i started taking the pills and these moments evolved and shortened with time.. at first, i was a superwoman, sure, always doing things nonstopping, some times i almost didn't need sleeping very much each night BUT... addiction is always progressive.... my speedy and highly active days were gone with the years... i might had a couple of hours of this high energy feeling and i needed a lot of pills to get there, most of the time, i have become the laziest woman in town, i might have disturbed my sleeping hours so much that i didn't need sleeping for a couple of days but then i spent the weekends sleeping the whole two days... That's for being a superwoman ;)... It is simply not possible being a superwoman for long while taking opiates... you get caught up by all the bad effects...So i am now a normal person, i don't crave for this high energy because i remember very well how i was at the end, a destroyed person, mental and physically... Now I need my 7 hours of sleep, taking care of what i eat, of myself... I don't feel drained out like during the first months after detoxing, it seems it may take ages feeling better but... this is only for a couple of months at worst ... Honestly, i feel normal now . I am also 18 years older than when i started so i think of age when i am not feeling very energetic ;)
Not as much as the burst of energy I had with them but,When I was clean last time I had steady energy and could do whatever came my way without worrying if I would come down before I completed the task.Hope this helps
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