Who Would Be The Decision Maker for a Parent To Be Commited?

I am the oldest of 3 children in my family.Our mother has suffered for several years with depression,prescription drug abuse,eating disorders,You NAME it!She is only 55 years old.It has torn our family apart.As of now,she has major stomach and bowel problems that several surgeries are NOT fixing.I live with her after being divorced for 5 years now,so I see that the issues now are REAL health problems due to her years of abuse.She is 75 LBS. at this time and Doctor's have NO answers for her demise.My 2 siblings,who do nothing to help are privately conferring with each other on who would be in charge of her welfare.She has confided in me that it would be her wish for me to be in control.Are there any rules or regulations on this subject that I need to know about to carry through with her wishes?I appreciate your answer to help me move forward in this case.Thank You.

[confused456]

Tell her to get a living will.

[liljenn]

Thanks so much for your response!Jenn..

[louise65]

i dont know much about this but i just wanted to say how sorry i am that you find yourself in this situation. i think if i were you i would chat to your mum about it and go to a lawyer together and get a power of attourney in your name. i would do this asap, so that your mums wishes are respected and it will stop the enevitable feuding with your siblings if this is not in place. i know its a difficult topic to bring up but it seems the only safe way forward. also, i think its great that you are there for your mum, i know how difficult it is to be a carer so well done, take care and good luck, louise

[flmagi]

Your mother can sign some Power Of Attorneys forms. There are separate forms for Medical Power Of Attorney  (someone to make medical decisions), and Financial Power of Attorney. These are for while she is living.
A living will and someone appointed Trustee in the event she should die.

[flmagi]

P.S.  Her signature to these papers should be noterized or they could be contested in court.

[10356]

I would also have a clause in the will that if anyone were no contest the will that the contestee looses all that was left to them.. This worked very well for my husbands family as mom new the sister would contest, not a peep.. With that said I would like to lend my support as I was a care giver for my mom in law. I wish you and your mom well and will keep you in my thoughts..

[Rose703]

I've been exactly where you are right now. I'm the oldest of 3 children and my mother was an alcoholic and drug abuser. My siblings didn't have her best interest in mind and she knew that so she took steps to ensure that the only person to make decisions would be me. You don't have to go to an attorney because that can add up to alot of money. What we did is went to a large bookstore that sold computer CD's and bought the CD that included things like a will, living will, power of attorney, medical living will, and so forth. I printed all the forms out and they're real easy to understand so we filled them out, took them to our bank which has a notary, and she signed them all. I kept a copy, mom had a copy, and the original copy was placed in a safe deposit box at the bank, which only cost $30.00 for the year. When the time came I had complete control to ensure that her wishes were taken care of. My mother passed away in 1999, but at least everything was done according to the way that she requested and not based on my siblings feelings of anger after all the things that mom had put them through. I was able to forgive and forget but they were younger and just couldn't do it. It's years later now and my brother is okay but I no longer talk to my sister because she was never able to forgive mom for giving me control.
My prayers are with you!!