Aa
Why be scared? Part 1
I have seen quite a few posts here recently about how someone is scared to go through withdrawals. Every time I read them I can't help but wonder why someone would be scared. Granted, withdrawals are not fun at all and probably better described as horrific. To be honest, they are quite miserable. Most people I know of would do just about anything to find a way around them. The fact is, there is no easy way around them. If withdrawals were pleasant would there even be such a thing of a addict? Addiction would not even be part of our vocabulary. Life is full of difficult decisions. We as people are always looking for the easy way out. When it comes to sobriety, there is no easy way to get there. Sure, they keep manufacturing new drugs that are suppose to be the "miracle" cure to make it easy to stop taking our drug of choice. The problem here is these so called "miracle" drugs are usually ten times harder to get off of due to the withdrawals being much more difficult. If I had a dime for every post I saw that said they wished they would have just detoxed off their drug of choice instead of getting on suboxone, subutex, or methadone, I could have opened up my own rehab facility and let everyone come to it for free. I do feel they have there place though but are over administered. The only way to become completely sober is to go through the withdrawals. As most of us know the worst of the physical part of withdrawals only lasts about a week, sometimes a few days longer. In my experience, day 5 has always been the turning point and it was all downhill from there. Even when I was taking upwards of 25, 10mg lortabs a day it still only lasted about 5 days. Was I nervous about going through withdrawals? You betcha. Was I scared about going through withdrawals? Not at all. I don't understand why someone would be scared of stopping a horrible habit so we can live life the way it should be lived. There are many things out there that we should be scared of.
Let's think way back when we were just children. I'm sure there was a time in our life where some of us were scared of that monster in the closet. We would yell for mom and dad or go bursting in to their room crying for help. Good ole dad would give us a hug, walk us back to our room, open the closet door, and move the clothes and piles of toys to the side to show us there was nothing there. We realized it was just in our head and that there was no monster lurking behind the clothes that were hanging down from the hangers. We then crawled back in to bed as dad tucked us in and fell gently back to sleep with nothing to fear.
When high school rolled around and we woke up one morning with that big zit sticking out of our face like a cherry. Boy were we scared to go to school. As a male we would just pop it and be on our way. I grew up with three sisters and it was just the opposite. They were scared out of there minds! But our sweet mom would pull out her makeup kit and touch it up and make it look like it was never there. Once again the problem was solved just like the monster in the closet. Dad and Mom were always there to make things better and help us realize there is nothing to be scared of.
Here we are years later with a problem we never thought we'd have to deal with in a million years. This problem is known as addiction. This is one thing we should be scared about. We should be scared about addiction and what it does to our bodies and mind, not what we have to go through in order to be clean from drug of choice. We should not fear withdrawals. It's merely one week of our life in order to get our life back on track. What's one week in order to live a lifetime of freedom? As adults we know there are many other things out there to fear. We should feel fortunate the only thing we have to worry about is addiction. We are the ones ultimately in charge of this. Either we continue using or we discontinue using. We have control over it whether we want to believe it or not. What about a person that is losing the battle due to a terminal illness. Do they have the right to be scared? What about the parents of a child that has cancer not knowing how much longer God is going to keep their baby on earth. Do they have the right to be scared? What about the Marine or Soldier that is thousands of miles away from home fighting for our amazing country always wondering if that next bullet or mortar round has his name on it. Does he have a right to be scared?
Let's think way back when we were just children. I'm sure there was a time in our life where some of us were scared of that monster in the closet. We would yell for mom and dad or go bursting in to their room crying for help. Good ole dad would give us a hug, walk us back to our room, open the closet door, and move the clothes and piles of toys to the side to show us there was nothing there. We realized it was just in our head and that there was no monster lurking behind the clothes that were hanging down from the hangers. We then crawled back in to bed as dad tucked us in and fell gently back to sleep with nothing to fear.
When high school rolled around and we woke up one morning with that big zit sticking out of our face like a cherry. Boy were we scared to go to school. As a male we would just pop it and be on our way. I grew up with three sisters and it was just the opposite. They were scared out of there minds! But our sweet mom would pull out her makeup kit and touch it up and make it look like it was never there. Once again the problem was solved just like the monster in the closet. Dad and Mom were always there to make things better and help us realize there is nothing to be scared of.
Here we are years later with a problem we never thought we'd have to deal with in a million years. This problem is known as addiction. This is one thing we should be scared about. We should be scared about addiction and what it does to our bodies and mind, not what we have to go through in order to be clean from drug of choice. We should not fear withdrawals. It's merely one week of our life in order to get our life back on track. What's one week in order to live a lifetime of freedom? As adults we know there are many other things out there to fear. We should feel fortunate the only thing we have to worry about is addiction. We are the ones ultimately in charge of this. Either we continue using or we discontinue using. We have control over it whether we want to believe it or not. What about a person that is losing the battle due to a terminal illness. Do they have the right to be scared? What about the parents of a child that has cancer not knowing how much longer God is going to keep their baby on earth. Do they have the right to be scared? What about the Marine or Soldier that is thousands of miles away from home fighting for our amazing country always wondering if that next bullet or mortar round has his name on it. Does he have a right to be scared?
I'm glad you have found the positive in things. No matter how bad things can be at times, there is always something that can lift your spirits. Sometimes you just have to dig for it. Hang in there buddy!
A thought it was a great post and you are right we have the choice to read or not. It helped me reading posts as i was always thinking negative things . But after reading bmdad,s posts or answers on my posts i have had the best and happest last two days than in the last 6 months of being clean But i addmit i was scared of w/ds. But always found your posts to be honest never offencive
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORD YOU SPREAD BRIAN ON THE FORUM
RESPECT COSTS NOTHING,,,,,,,,,,
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORD YOU SPREAD BRIAN ON THE FORUM
RESPECT COSTS NOTHING,,,,,,,,,,
COMMUNITY LEADER
Lets just get back to the subject at hand. bmdad you have a very good thread here so lets just focus on that.........sara
So what if you think it's a novel. How is that hurting you? If you don't like it, don't read it. You would think you would have better things to do than to fish these forums looking for ways to bring people down when all we are trying to do is help one another. It would be nice if you could just show others here a little bit of respect. I can care less if you ever show me any. I'd rather not have any respect from someone as cold hearted as you. Just please show some respect to the other members of this forum. It amazes me what you say when someone spends some of their time in hopes of helping one another. And I'm not just talking about me. I'm talking about the many other posts that people type just hoping that a few words that they wrote may be the words needed to get someone to take the first step to sobriety. Do you have any compassion at all in that arrogant brain of yours?
TrayCee, we are aloud to write whatever we want to here. Did I miss the memo about you becoming a community leader? I think we have 2 very good C.L.s, and I dont think they need your help! Why do you feel the need to come on here just to belittle people? Why does it bother you what Brain wrote? Maybe you SHOULD read it, it might give you some strenght and knowlege to write something compasionate that other members enjoy reading!!
oksy, i am sorry for my last two post, it looks as if i spoke out of place, it looks as if "TrayCee" had a reply deleted and "bmdad" had already handled it. All I seen was her post saying yawwwn" and it appeared rude, and giving certain cercumstances its not a far fetched idea that it would have been rude. I agree with bmdad about this being a wonderfull supportive envirament and I think its important for us all to keep it that way. I know we all have bad days, and sometimes this forum is a easy target to take our stress out on, but over all we should all try to remain pretty positive oon here.
If Brians post bore you than why to you keep returning to read more and more. Keep your comments to yourself. Nobody else appreciates your negativity. Brian offers alot of help to a majority of us and we like reading his motivational posts.
Sorry for you Loss
Konaboy
Sorry for you Loss
Konaboy
i actually liked this post, I think it says a lot in a brief paragraph, and by all the replies it has gotten i would say many found it good. I would be a lil upset if i spent my time writting a post to help others and someone comes along and repies by yawning as if my post was boring// and or made them tired, sorry if i am wrong but i find that rude.
Why do you care if this is more of a journal entry than a post? I didn't realize that med help put you in charge to decide what should go where. I've heard you say that this is a public forum. With it being a public forum we can post whatever we want. And with it being a public forum you are not forced to read any of it if that's what you choose. At least most posts on here have some thought behind them. I can't say that about any of yours. I've been reading your posts on here for over 2 years and I can't think of one instance to where you had anything positive or helpful to say. You seem to read through posts just waiting to pounce on someone's mistake or tear in to someone if they admitted to making a bad decision in life. We always let new members know that they can say whatever they want because they will not be judged. That is not the purpose of this forum. The purpose of this forum is to help one another in their fight for sobriety. Can you honestly fill me in on one instance that you have given sound advice and truthfully tried to help someone? I'm sure we could look at all of your posts and we would have a hard time finding a post to where you did offer support or motivation. All you do is look for a reason to give a negative response. Maybe you do this as a failed attempt to make yourself look better than everyone else? Maybe you do this trying to gain attention? You always seem to be around when you have something negative to say. But when someone comes on here looking for some compassionate support or encouragement, you are nowhere to be found. This forum is a amazing place with some very caring people. I've met people on here that I feel like I've known forever. I've met people on here whom I'd give my life for. We are like one big team. But with every big team there is always a weak link. And I'm sure you can guess who that wink link is. And trust me, I'm not the only one who thinks this way towards you. Actually, I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the many people on here who are sick of your negativity. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"? I usually adhere to that unlike you. It hurts me that I am even posting this. I am one of the most easy going guys you will ever meet. I respect everyone's opinion even if I don't agree with it. But your comments are never opinions. Your remarks are always so negative and it's almost like you are trying to get under our skin. If I don't agree with it I just leave it alone. But I am not leaving this one alone. Do you have some OCD that keeps you from having to respond with some positivity? I'm sure med help has a forum for that which may benefit you. I don't understand why you would care if you thought this post should have just been entered in my journal. Do I not have the right to post my thoughts on the forum? How is it hurting you? I'm just asking. I've never seen one post from you that has been helpful. I've never seen you post any caring thoughts about anything. I've only seen you post what seems to be Miss Know it All answers. Why don't you put some caring thoughts in to your posts and spend a little more time than posting your usual 4 word negative response. If you did this maybe people would take the time to read your garbage. I'm sorry if this comes across as rude but I'm sure I'm not the only one that is sick of seeing your rude comments.
i was too afraid of the wds...i think that s what held me back the most from quitting...i heard horror stories....i was more afraid of the wds than the actual wds were...most people think this...it s just scary esp if no one can help us through...very interesting post...thanks for sharing....maria :)
I agree...there is no shame in being scared. I just think we should not let fear get in the way of going through withdrawals. Sometimes if we are too scared it may keep us from doing what we need to do. We can all overcome our fears.
I do respect your comment and agree with you.
Best of luck to you!
I do respect your comment and agree with you.
Best of luck to you!
I see your point. But I went through withdrawls already and I WAS scared. I and there's no shame in being afraid.
I know exactly what you mean. I also served in Iraq and you are right. Granted, we were in some battles to where we are lucky to be alive. But we also had down time and had a chance to relax. Addiction doesn't give us any time to relax. You described it as relentless. You couldn't have said it better. I hate that anyone has to deal with addiction, even complete strangers.
I hope there was nothing in my post that caused you to feel this way. That wasn't my intention at all. I just wanted to let people know that we should not be scared of withdrawals. We should be scared of what we are doing to our bodies. I was just hoping this would give that person that is scared of withdraws a little glimmer of hope knowing that we should not fear them. Eventually we need to accept the fact that if we want sobriety bad enough, we just have to do our best without fearing what lies ahead.
If you ever need anyone to talk to buddy, I'm here for you. We have a few things in common. We are both battling addiction and we both have memories of war. Bot are probably some of the most difficult things any human being could go through. I look at war like addiction. No one can understand what we went through unless they have been there themselves. It's the same for addiction. No one knows what a addict is going through unless the have been there themselves.
Once again, I'm sorry if this post touched you wrong. If it did, I apologize. If you ever need to talk, please message me and we can swap numbers. People say time fixes all, but there are some things that time cannot fix. My Dad served in Nam. You would never know by looking at him or talking to him. He raised 4 level headed kids and a middle class family. He had a good enough job to where Mom could stay home and raise us kids. We went on a family vacation every year. He coached my little league team, basketball team, and jfl team for years. He also coached my sisters softball teams. You would never know he was a vet. But once I joined the Marine Corps he opened up about it a little more. I know he still has some very disturbing memories that he will have to deal with for the rest of his life. We will probably be the same. By looking at me no one would think I served in a combat zone but a day doesn't go by to where I think of my buddies that didn't make it home alive always wondering if I could have done something different to save them. I highly respect you for what you did for our country. Thank you...and I truly mean that.
My intentions of the original post was not to make things hit so close to home. Please accept my apologies if they did. If I can do anything to help, please don't hesitate to ask. I am here for you brother.
Brian
Brian
I hope there was nothing in my post that caused you to feel this way. That wasn't my intention at all. I just wanted to let people know that we should not be scared of withdrawals. We should be scared of what we are doing to our bodies. I was just hoping this would give that person that is scared of withdraws a little glimmer of hope knowing that we should not fear them. Eventually we need to accept the fact that if we want sobriety bad enough, we just have to do our best without fearing what lies ahead.
If you ever need anyone to talk to buddy, I'm here for you. We have a few things in common. We are both battling addiction and we both have memories of war. Bot are probably some of the most difficult things any human being could go through. I look at war like addiction. No one can understand what we went through unless they have been there themselves. It's the same for addiction. No one knows what a addict is going through unless the have been there themselves.
Once again, I'm sorry if this post touched you wrong. If it did, I apologize. If you ever need to talk, please message me and we can swap numbers. People say time fixes all, but there are some things that time cannot fix. My Dad served in Nam. You would never know by looking at him or talking to him. He raised 4 level headed kids and a middle class family. He had a good enough job to where Mom could stay home and raise us kids. We went on a family vacation every year. He coached my little league team, basketball team, and jfl team for years. He also coached my sisters softball teams. You would never know he was a vet. But once I joined the Marine Corps he opened up about it a little more. I know he still has some very disturbing memories that he will have to deal with for the rest of his life. We will probably be the same. By looking at me no one would think I served in a combat zone but a day doesn't go by to where I think of my buddies that didn't make it home alive always wondering if I could have done something different to save them. I highly respect you for what you did for our country. Thank you...and I truly mean that.
My intentions of the original post was not to make things hit so close to home. Please accept my apologies if they did. If I can do anything to help, please don't hesitate to ask. I am here for you brother.
Brian
Brian
Ya know I was reading this post earlier and thinking F yeah! Some good tough love! I generally agree with most of your posts and there is nothing wrong with this one. I just got back from Iraq - and it sounds like you were in the military - so I know what you mean when you talk about sleep deprivation and mortars. But 1 hr ago I was dope sick snorting lines up my nose with tears streaming down my face and I thought about this post and realized drug addiction is a war itself, and no less intense than a real one! At least in a real war battles end and you can relax a little bit, but this **** is relentless. It never stops and it really screws with your mind. I mean I'm a grown man, a war vet and I'm crying like a baby. Honestly, I think this could be right up there with the most darkest days and nights I ever experienced in the Army. Good posts though, thanks.
I do agree with you about addiction being a disease. But addiction is like other diseases. If we fight hard enough we can put it in to remission. There are many tools out there nowadays to help us do this. If we work at it hard enough, it can be done by anyone. Although it can feel like we have no control over it, we do. If we use all the resources that are available to us and work our arses off, we can control it. We are the only ones that can control it. There are diseases out there that are out of our hands. Addiction is not one of them unless we give in to it. It is one disease that only we can control the outcome of. If this wasn't true you wouldn't see addicts on here that have years of clean time under their belts. I'm not saying that relapse is not a possibility, but if we never give up, we can win.
I do respect your opinion. Best of luck to you in your journey!
I do respect your opinion. Best of luck to you in your journey!
I agree but addiction is a disease...some of us can't beat it. i don't think anyone grows up saying i want to be a junkie. i sincerely believe it is a mental disorder that causes some to become addicts and others to simply try it and walk away. I agree though that we shouldn't fear wds but it is only human to fear what we cannot control. your post made me think and for that i thank you. good luck along your journey.
Very very inspiring. Your post gives me so much hope and strangth. Its exactly what I needed to read this morning. I was thinking the exact same thing the day before yesterday when I was looking for the recovery forum because I thought I might get more help reading over there as I am on day 9 without using and withdrawls have passed. I know I am in no way cured nor am I this wonderful human being with a loving heart but I am working on it, fighting for it. This is the hard part. W/d's were easy. Once again thank you for your thoughts....
Perfect. It is absolutely true that we should not be scared, and that there is such a great difference between nervous and scared. There is also a saying, something my youngest son said to me when he was 4~ "It isn't Brave, unless you're scared"~ I feel strongly that making the decision to quit also has it's element of bravery, especially if you never had the comfort of "mom and dad", or in some cases, if mom and dad WERE the monster...
I was scared, but only the day before I MADE THE DECISION. After that, especially knowing what to expect, I was, as you stated, merely nervous.
Now that day 5 is beginning, I am excited. I am hopeful. I am completely surprised by the knowledge of how accurate your post is. It is true on many levels. But I firmly believe that once you have chosen light over dark, life over death, freedom over bondage, it easily turns into nervousness, and the chains of fear disappear.
Fear has kept me down in the gutter for far too long. It is only when I am about to take the first one that I now see it was always fear guiding me, along with fear's sisters shame and guilt.
Fear is a b*tch. Perception, though, is a life saver.
Thank you so very much for this post.
Amy
I was scared, but only the day before I MADE THE DECISION. After that, especially knowing what to expect, I was, as you stated, merely nervous.
Now that day 5 is beginning, I am excited. I am hopeful. I am completely surprised by the knowledge of how accurate your post is. It is true on many levels. But I firmly believe that once you have chosen light over dark, life over death, freedom over bondage, it easily turns into nervousness, and the chains of fear disappear.
Fear has kept me down in the gutter for far too long. It is only when I am about to take the first one that I now see it was always fear guiding me, along with fear's sisters shame and guilt.
Fear is a b*tch. Perception, though, is a life saver.
Thank you so very much for this post.
Amy
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