Why do I do it?

Why is the first thing that comes to mind when things suck..to drink..smoke..or whatever..sick of it..

[bandnmom]

I think its cuz we trained our minds to think like that and the only way we can change it is to do a little "reprogramming"!

[newmanagment]

good ?  .... ima say because we need to train our minds to learn to cope with the life sux things without being intoxicated or high as a kite!!

[newmanagment]

wow, bandmom, i guess maybe we think alike LOL

[allaboutmary]

It's a pretty common problem.  We all look for quick ways to feel better.  Most of us have lost the way to cope. I think this is a big problem with addiction and one of the most important things to re-learn.  Hang in there girl !  You can get through this.

[allaboutmary]

LOL  I just read eveyones posts.   Ahhhh  great minds think alike. lol

[sadinmichigan]

I have been doing sooo good and now the first thing I want to do is..drink..and that wasn't even my real problem,,i don't know..maybe it was a problem i don't want any f'ing pills..I quit drinking 6 months ago at least..and that was about a year long "thing" after the horror of methadone..I'm serious.i am scarred for life by that..i don't know how to "re-train"..thats how my brain has worked since I smoked my first j..at 13..

[NautyOne]

alright which one of you is Paul......

[sadinmichigan]

even a stupid cigarette...

[cathy5841]

i think when we are in pain, we know these substances will numb it.  it is human nature to not want to hurt or be hurt.  we  have to learn to fight that urge.

[bandnmom]

Yes indeed..great minds do think alike!! LOL!!

[sadinmichigan]

not me

[bandnmom]

what do u meen "not me" ?

[sadinmichigan]

lol..someone asked who was paul.sorry..I'm not all together today  xo

[beenthere125]

I know exactly what you're feeling. My vice was pills and since I've decided to quit it seems I feel like reaching for something else to fill that void. I haven't drank in 11 years and have never been an alcoholic...but I've had three vodka coolers in the last two days. I'm also a smoker...and planning on trying to quit after this last pack...I hope I'm not doing too much at once...but I just really want to get myself as healthy as possible. It's never easy, but it's like newmanagement and bandnmom said...we have to teach ourselves how to deal without relying on these things. I'm just tired of watching my money go up in smoke...or down the pipe so to speak.
It will get easier...hang in there. :)

[sadinmichigan]

i understand what everyones saying..I think I just came to another realization about how much **** i really need to deal with..i was feeling so good to.I keep hearing it gets easier..i guess i can't see it yet.

[GoingToMakeIt]

I will say that we don't know how to deal with life's issues. That's why we did pills or drank or buried our heads in the sand. Your response is a normal one. It is just not a good decision. Drinking will for sure do you in right now. It is a depressant and that is not what you need. You are just two weeks into your recovery. Your body has barely begun to start healing itself. You brain is lacking the chemicals to think right. It takes time for these things to normalize.

[beenthere125]

Yeah...that's an unfortunate side effect...reality comes back. lmao!
I've been going through the same damn thing all week. I got so overwhelmed by all the sh!t I had been putting off while I was taking all these damn pills...I felt like if someone had offered me something to "help"...I might've really been tempted...or worse. However...today's been great for me...first day that I'm starting to feel a bit more in control of my emotions...but I still have a ways to go.
So...you're definitely not alone! :)

[sadinmichigan]

dammit!!!

[K Todd]

Because...

We are Addicts, who try to temporarily mask our problems..

Thats why...

Love,
Todd

[beenthere125]

Dammit??

[sadinmichigan]

so was i born an addict?  i don't get it.What makes an addict become one?  i am soo ticked off..(not at anyone here) at myself..i am sick of this

[beenthere125]

Some people are predisposed to becoming addicts. It usually goes back to childhood and the way you learnt to deal with your emotions and stress. Addiction is something that runs in my family...but we all have the power to fight it...it's just a matter of motivation. We can't quit because we have to...we have to quit because we want to. There's a HUGE difference.

[K Todd]

Don't know sweetie..

To me I KNOW that I was an alcoholic passed on thru family genes...nobody can convience me otherwise...

The drugs on the other hand, kind of creept up slowly, and before I knew it...I came to realize I was addicted, and they had to go (not all at once of coarse)

Some say "once and addict, always an addict"...but I strongly disaggree.

It would be like saying to someone who quit smoking 20 years ago.."hey did you know your still a smoker" - I don't buy into that.

I do know that I don't want or desire any of my previous addictions AT ALL..

Personally for me, if God sets me free - then "Free Indeed I am" !!!!

Todd

[sadinmichigan]

I can't even start to go over childhood..I am having enough problems with adulthood. but i do understand..I am just learning alot fast...trying to keep up

[K Todd]

What all usefull insight have you learned so far, and so quickly?

Love,
Todd

[sadinmichigan]

That i need to figure out why??? I do what i do. it's just not that easy to swallow..as i'm sure everyone knows..i only know my own

[GoingToMakeIt]

I do believe that the tendencies toward addiction are inherited, Gee thanks mom and Dad. There is research that proves this out with alcoholism but I have not read this about drugs. First you get mad but then you direct that anger to proving that you won't be a statistic in the failures. Keep on going on.

[sadinmichigan]

sorry i meant dammit..cuz i know it's true...nothing bad..I need to deal with ALL the problems..(for me)

[sadinmichigan]

sometimes when  i give a response for something..i forget that not everyone is understanding what i mean...I really want to understand where my addiction is comming from..and i don't always want to accept it..does that make sense? I am mad at myself for being in this position..

[K Todd]

Why are you trying so hard to figure out "Why"?...

Who cares how or why...what you truly need to do is:

LET GO..!!!  and give it to Jesus Christ. (That is what He died for..you, and all of us!)

Why have you been so intent on trying to figure all different types of things out...if we all did that, we would be in misery the rest of our God give life's!

Let it Go !!!!!

Love,
Todd

[K Todd]

Are you still trying to figure things out?

Or did you go and pray?

Love,
Todd

[worried878]

When I "woke up" after WDs that was one of the first things on my mind  Why?  What are the issues that caused me to do this in the first place?  I knew quick as when those thoughts came in to my mind, I wanted a pill...i figured out what my issues where thru episodes of craving...at work when I was stressed, thoughts of certain past events....issues i need to work on and i am...it is a good thing i think to start analyzing.."WHY"

[bmc1976]

Maybe you could "train your brain" to go on a walk when things are bothering you. It really does help to relax yourself. They would be a great habit to have. I know when I'm upset a long walk works wonders. I throw on some headphones, get my dog, and head out. It's like I'm in my own little world. Afterwards I feel so much better.

[sadinmichigan]

thanks..I think i'm really too upset to have a rational conversation...I know everyone means well..maybe i need to ask why? and then...get over it..I haven't slept in weeks and ...well ..you know..I am feeling a bit attacked right now..I thought this forum was to express what i was thinking at the moment and it doesn't mean i'm going to do anything..just talking out my feelings..GTMI...i will pm you...xoxo and worried  thankyou i will pm you too. i gotta check out of this thread i think...no hard feelings to anyone..

[worried878]

keep doing what u gotta do  ....wishing u all the luck in the whole wide world!

[cathy5841]

sad, i think it is essential to your recovery to understand why.  how can you ever deal with it if you dont know what it is.. you are doing good.  you are right you really need to get some sleep or you are going to get sick... we love you sweetie.  hang in there
cathy

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou very much..i didn't mean to **** anyone off..I am truly appreciative of this forum..I think i need to know why too..thanks for the back up...by the way..did you kill that stinkin horse yet? lol

[cathy5841]

lol yeah i think med help held a funeral lmao

[bandnmom]

What happened to make you feel like you have to leave? Please don't go anywhere. I love getting on and seeing you here. You are a great person who is just going threw a hard time right now! We are here for you. I always vent on here and if someone doesn't want to hear it then i say don't read it! Keep getting all off your chest. Its better then holding all in right? PM me if you want. Like i said i am a night owl!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Horse went via the crematorium.

sadinmichigan I do understand what you are going through. I don't think that you are upsetting people. You are dealing with a lot. You are very much cared for.

[sadinmichigan]

so glad the funeral has been held..Was really starting to STAAANK..Lmao
I really do know you all care..i think my brain is just on overload..or i am just plain NUTZ.. i love you all!!!!!!
k-todd...i understand what you are saying..i do need to give it all up to the Lord..I'm sorry for being touchy.please forgive me.Lisa

[K Todd]

Lisa,

You have nothing to be sorry for. Just try and rest, but I really think you should make that biggest decision of your life....let it go...and the you will truly be set free...but Only God can hear your cry's and prayer's for help..

Lots of love to you,
Todd

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou..I am going to pray long and hard about it. i thought i had already given it all..But, I guess not..i will get it right...I know you are right..Thankyou again..i mean that

Love to you too..Lisa

[K Todd]

Lisa,

Remember, it must come sincerly, and honestly from your heart...

His love is so overwhelming, beyond comprehension! - Just make sure your of sound mind, and pray from your HEART...not with words from just the mouth.

You'll be in my prayer's,
Love,
Todd

[confused456]

Louise,

Hi honey, I am home!!

Love, Thelma

[K Todd]

Lisa,

Check your mail when you get a chance ...(-:

Love,
Todd

[confused456]

LMFAO LOUISE.....
First my cordless phone dies in the middle of our conversation! Then in the process of hooking up the other phone, I disconnected the DSL line for my internet! So, when I told you to get on yahoo, we can chat there, I wasn't even on line!!! I am finally back, and now you have to re-add me as a friend on yahoo....lmao....what's next?!?!?!

[sadinmichigan]

i was soooo confused,LMAO> i didn't know what happened. and then i have been sitting with my little girl who was crying...give me a minute more..I need to get her back to bed..Love you xox Louise

[confused456]

Now, you are back on, lol, and I am tired as all heck. I have another headache...hmmmmm....wonder why!!!!
I don't even want to start about that subject. Anyway, I may head to bed soon to try to sleep for a few hours. If I head to bed, I will be back in the morning...LOL...later in the morning. Probably in a few hours. I will be calling once my phone is charged and I have slept for a minute!!
Love you too!
xoxo
Thelma

[sadinmichigan]

That woman is giving me panic attacks!!! I just had to take one more look,,,,why why why
G'night  xoxo Love to you...Louise

[confused456]

Good night. I am going to be dreaming of .....hmmmmm.....LMAO, something good! I hope!!

[sadinmichigan]

i think I'm awake!! and..today is a new day...Day 16..Whoooo hoooooo

[confused456]

Congratulations, you made it past the 2 week mark and that is wonderful!!!!
Every day is a new day!!!
When are you coming over?!?!! LOL
Happy Early Easter Louise. Love ya!

Hugs,
Thelma

[allaboutmary]

Congrat's on day 16 !   That is so great, and with all you have had to go through. You should be extra proud.  Hugs   Mary

[sadinmichigan]

Are you sure we are awake??!!!  LOL What a long long 16 days!!
im gonna get my butt there as soon as possible!!  Thankfully  it doesn't lool like we
got all the snow they threatend us with...yeah..now I need to take my trailblazer in for an alignment and ..will be good to go!  

THANKYOU ALL FOR MY 16  DAYS!!!!!

[confused456]

Louise, I am here and waiting!
We didn't get any snow!!!! Yeah! I am so happy because I am sick of snow!!!!!!

[catmagnet]

Go to your pm and read my jokes.. that'll cheer ya up! I drink like an idiot,too, even with pills, don't feel bad about it, we all ake mistakes!!=)  cat

[K Todd]

My God...

Haven't you gone to bed yet????

Love,
Todd

[sadinmichigan]

My computer has been down for hours..let me catch up..(read)

Todd- LOl yeah i finally got a few hours..LOL

[toxictome]

Hey sad......CONGRATS on 16 DAYS!!    WOO HOO!!

How are you doing today???

I got all that snow...8" ..I shoveled part of my drive so i coudl leave to go work out and when i got home about 1  1/2 hrs. later...someone had taken their snowblower and finished the drive and did the sidewalks...I was So HAPPYY!!!!  YEAH!!!

anyway....I'm having a quiet day...the boys are w/ their dad this wkend!

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou so much..I can't believe it!!! I am feeling pretty good today..Thankfully we missed the snow!  They said we were getting 8' ..But we only got 2'..and it's already melting..That was nice for the neighbors helping..Everyone with snoe blowers should LOL...My neighbor sat and watched me shovel with a 1/2 a shovel when we had soooo much snow and it was heavy! He literally won't go a inch past the fence line..LOL

Enjoy your quiet..

[K Todd]

Thank God I live in southern Califonia!!!! - lol

Todd  (-:

[sadinmichigan]

No kidding..this has been a really crappy winter for us folks in that part of the country...but..michigan is beautiful..you should visit some time..and bring a snow blower!! LOL...
love Lisa

[corey411]

I once heard or read that most people think addicts don't take life seriously...I think it's the oter way around and we take life way too seriously. I keep trying not to sweat the small stuff cause once I keep my mind in the negative some little thing can grow and take me over. I used to be very positive but this whole drug thing twisted me. I'll get it right though...That's positive. Happy Easter Corey

[worried878]

Glad to hear you hanging in there....happy Easter girl...

[sadinmichigan]

Happy Easter to you too.. Just barely hanging though..