Why do I love these opiates so much??

[DeliriousNomad68]

Greetings to all, hope everyone is hanging in there and doing as well as can be.
Why do us addicts love these opiates so much? I have been an occasional user (a few pills a month) for about 20 years now, however in the last 6 years I have been using more and more. I used to just drink about 6-12 beers and smoke some Marijuana about 4-5 days a week, but have replaced that habit with pills. After my mother died in 2008 from ALS, I found some Tramadol pills while cleaning out her house. At this point I was an occasional Hydrocodone and Oxycodone user ( about 1-2 nights a week), so I tried the Tramadol and enjoyed the elevated mood that they gave me. Well, after using them everyday for 10 days, the pills ran out, so I found how easy it was to order Tramadol online. Before I knew it, 12 months had passed by and I was taking 24-30 50mg Tramadols a day, 6 at a time every 4-5 hours. Well, I finally decided to quit and went cold turkey. Man oh Man, let me tell ya, I was in for the worst 10 days of my life. I felt like I had a severe flu, felt very melancholy and nostalgic, and couldn't sleep for 5 days in a row- it was a HORRIBLE experience. I did make it through (this was 3 years ago) , and true to my word have not touched a Tramadol since and nor will I in the future. However, after being off pills for a few years and just drinking beer and smoking a little weed here and there, I injured my lower back last year, and was prescribed some 5mg Oxycodone with Aceteminophen. Well, they took the pain down a few levels and helped drastically, and I LOVED the way they made me feel. Well, my back got a litte better, so I quit taking them for a few months. I then switched jobs, and was without Health Insurance when I re-aggravated my back and began to self-medicate through a 'street pharmacist'. I  then got insurance, and went to see a Dr. and then a Pain Management clinic ( I have Degenerative Disc Disease, Anterior annular fission of my discs between L3-L5, bulging discs, and bone spurs on my hips which are also very painful. I am only 43 years old, though my back feels much older. I used to play Golf 2-3 times a week, which was my 'escape' and love, but currently can no longer play due to my back. I have been prescribed 120 Oxycodone 10/325's (Percocets)a month plus 90 350mg Somas. My problem is that my tolerance has sky-rocketed and I must supplement my meds from the 'street pharmacy' , as I am taking 10-14 Percocets a day along with a few Somas at night to help me sleep. I know I don't really need to take as many pills as I do, but they do make me feel almost like I have a healthy back, and I admit I LOVE the warm fuzzy body feeling and the 'everything is great' mental mood I get from the opiates. Man, why do I love these so much? The good thing is that I hardly ever smoke any cannabis while on these pills and never drink Alcohol at all, so I rationalize that they are a good thing, which other than the physical dependence they cause, they are since studies have shown that long term heavy opiate use causes no organ damage, and actually is beneficial since they lower blood pressure and stress. However, with that being said, I am tired of being dependent on them. Now if they were legal and affordable and if I could get enough of them to sustain my habit and increasing tolerance,maybe I wouldn't be as tired of them, but as it stands, I am ( I have been using them daily for about 6 months). I have set a date of March 1st to go cold turkey, as I am taking a week off from work. What can I expect? Has anyone here withdrawn from both Tramadol and the Opiates? Will the Opiate withdrawal be worse than the Tramadol?
Thanks for any replies to this novel of blabbering, any input would be appreciated. Have a great day everyone!!

[DeliriousNomad68]

Thanks for the replies and support. I have, like I said, actually withdrawn from Tramadols before, so if the opiate withdrawal is not as bad as the Trams, I will be happy for just that.
To MikeinFrance:when I mentioned that Opiate studies have shown that they do not cause any internal organ damage, I was talking about the opiates in their pure form, such as Roxicodone 30mg's and so forth that do not have the Acetominophen(Tylenol)  in them. Right now, even when I take 14 a day, I am only going over the daily Acetominophen limit of 4000mg by 550mg. I sometimes argue that since we supposedly live in a FREE country, that any Prohibition of Substances should be repealed (aka ending the 'War on Drugs') and no one should have the right to tell another adult what they can or cannot put into their own bodies as long as they don't hurt anyone else. If the Drugs were legal, I don't think I would ingest pills, I would just have a garden and grow my own Papever Somniferum's , aka poppy plants, and eat or smoke opium. Most people do not know that Oxycodone and Hydrocodone is made from one of the poppy plants' alkaloids, thebaine, and that if legal everybody with pain problems would just be able to grow these plants and take care of their problem without having to spend a small fortune on Dr.'s, PM clinics, and most of all, Pharmaceutical Companies. Of course the latter is why we will never have Prohibition end, the Big Pharma companies have too much clout with Congress , and when it boils down to it, the issues in this country are not voted on upon what is wrong or right, but what makes the most MONEY!!!
Anyway, yes, I am going to taper down. I am only taking 9 today, then 6 tomorrow, and hopefully 4 on Saturday. We shall see. Again, thanks for the support and best wishes to all.

[overopiates]

2things.1st ur w/d from perks will b easier a lot shorter physical than trams.2nd no taking that many perks IS NOT OK AND DOES CAUSE DAMAGE TO YOUR BODY.Ur body simply CANT filter that much buffer through ur liver etc.when ur feeling bad n w/d try to remember day4should start getting better so be greatful its not trams ur coming off of.If u can try2slowly lower ur amount til u go to cold turkey.Every pill less ur taking will help with thease and length of w/d

[lynnalb15]

I wonder that all the time. Like why me? I see
People who get prescribed pills and can't even take them and hate the feeling they get. Why can't I be that way. I always wonder this. I wish I could be normal. But I am not. I am now 4 days clean from methadone and I'm miserable. It's gunna be a loooong road ahead of me but I can and will do it. And. I know after this painful few months ahead I will not pick up again I cannot out my self or family thru it again. I think that's the good part of with drawls. The pain most of the time makes us not want to use again.

[MikeInFrance]

Hi ...interesting story...but unfortunately all too common here. First of all, do you know that tramadol is an opiate also? Just like the Oxys   (percs)   but tramadol is at the lower end of the list of opiates.  I was taking 250 mg a day by the time I quit CT several weeks ago. It wasnt easy but if you have been through it before then you know what to expect.  Many people promote different types of supplements to take but for me I just stayed hydrated and ate alot of fruit. You can definately get through it.  So do you plan to use continually until 1 march? Try your beat to reduce each day to make it a bit easier for yourself. Keep posting here there is alot of support all day and night!