Will I ever feel better?

[its_just_me_2015]

eally don't even know where to begin. This may be a long post but I really hope I can get some answers. About 13 years ago my roommates were taking vicoden then would get up and power clean the house.  I just couldn't understand how a pain pill couldmake you want to clean the house. One day I was really tired so they gave me one and it just made me tired and throw up. Then after a toothache a Dr called me in vicoden after taking a few doses I also had the energy.  I never was looking for any because it didn't really matter to me. I was always the life of any party. I was funny and happy and doing things all the time. In 2004 my brother died in his sleep after taking demera . Which I believe is illeligal in the states now,but I could be wrong. So shortly after he died I found out one of my friends could get vicoden and it has been getting worse and worse for years. My dr does prescribe me 40 a month because of a boat accident I was in years ago. After those are gone I get percocet from a friend of mine. I get vicoden from my dad and my cousin. Then once all those are gone I am constantly texting my friend if he has some I can buy.  I work full time and have a great job, but more than half of the money I make goes to pills. I also have a 3 year old little princess. I feel like she doesn't know the real me because I haven't been me in over 10 year . Today I have no pills and no money. I am laying in bed on this beautiful day and I should be outside with my daughte . I just keep putting g on her favorite TV shows to keep her inside. I dont want to do anything. Here are my questions.  I know it takes a while to detox. How long until I feel a little better?  After I completely detox will I be able to become my old self again?  I have a hard time quitting if I don't think I will feel normal again. Please help. Thanks

[NeverAgain127]

Yes, you will feel better and get back to normal, but not right away.  

You can't undo 10 years in 10 days...it's going to take time, patience, and after-care.    Opiates numb your emotions...have you processed completely the loss of your brother?  

If you read through a bunch of posts here (you can look up my history; its' a timeline of my withdrawal symptoms) it will give you an idea of what the detox process is like...but after-care is what will ultimately get this monkey off your back.   Consider any of the 12 step groups, Smart Recovery, therapy, all 3, etc.

Good luck to you hon....life on opiates is a bad ride.   You've made the right decision to quit..from here on in, it's a brand new you!

Hugs,
-Robin

[meegWpaw]

you will feel better ijm!  and you will get back to your old self.   plus you will have more wisdom and experience.  :)  i was on a lot of vicodin for a long time, and it took me at least 30 days to realize much of anything ... then 60 to 90 to start remembering how i used to be.  now i am six months clean and I feel very, very different than I felt at first.  You can do this!  and it is SO worth it.

[Lilly1955]

Yes, you will recover and feel better.

[refills]

Hey and welcome to the community. Take a long re-read of your OP. From what I read you, like the rest of us, have all the reasons in the world to change your life around. Starting with yourself. Being uncomfortable for a short while can feel like forever but it will sure beat the lifestyle of shrouding as you frantically search for more pills. That's no way to live your only life with your only family. You all deserve much more. The way you feel is very normal and what you feel is real but is only for awhile. It's hard I do know but it's worth every hard day you will put in. Keep you eye on the prize and think of it's reward, because it is great. As far as normal? What do we know about normal? I'm sorry but you've been high a good portion of your life. So lets think of feeling so much better than before. Think about growing older with your little princess as she is growing by the minute. Don't lose these precious days, you will never get them back. Heed this note and don't wake up when you are older and realize that you've missed the world going by, because it does. I wish you the very best and sorry if this post sounds harsh, it's intent is to let you know from someone who's been there. (like most of us)  Good Luck....ike

[Jerry198]

if you want to quit follow me we are in the same boat I had tons of suppliers dumped there numbers and trashed my script now my kids are way older but I have detoxed before and its a mind game plus physically you feel like you have the flu my pill popping started out for pain but ended up for fun pretty stupid but can only look forward and nothing wrong with the TV for a while and simple fast meals you can do it if you want to and stay here its like a free shrink ....

[Yesidid]

Oh - forgot to answer your question. Will you ever feel better again? Absolutely! So much better! No it won't be tomorrow but it will come and most importantly it will last more than 4 hours! You can do it!

[Yesidid]

You are Aresome!!! I know you feel awful right now but God if only I could have my 18 year old be 3 again! I would know how harmeless putting in frontline of the TV for a few days actually is. I would never lie to myself and say it's better for her if I'm not sick today. It is NOT! It's much much much better for her that you are sick today. Stop hurting her today sweetheart. Let her watch TV and I will pray that her mommy has the courage to do this - I believe she does :-)

[its_just_me_2015]

Thanks!  I don't drink I'm just worried about being sick and wanting to feel like myself again.

[onthefence]

well this reminds me of when i started reading this forum in 2008, i really didnt even realize there was a life without pills, or any drug including alcohol, but there is and it feels great!
you have already started the process by reaching out with questions, first you have to stop the intake of pills completly, its hard but can be done (ppl do it every day and find freedom) you will be sick for some days , everyone is different, but generally 5-7 days acute stage, you can get through this with lots of hot baths and just letting time pass, (i was on this forum reading alot, also listened to alot of music)you can take supplements like calcium -magnesium-zinc pills, , (i did & it helped). it took along time until i could sleep good, and usually only 2 hours at a time. But the fact is it does pass, i look back now and it just seems like a real bad dream , those weeks in march and april of 2012, thats when i detoxed , havent took opiates since . Now i did have to find out i couldnt drink either or smoke pot or any mind altering substance but thata another story.
i would say its all a process , step by step that starts with courage , and leads to freedom , peace and serenity , one day at a time, and yes you will feel like you use to but it takes time, i hope you will stay the course, you deserve it and so does your daughter , keep posting and welcome....

[Krissy_123]

You've been on the pills it sounds like for a long time. And no you won't be normal right after detoxing. You need to be in recovery. Detox is the easy part,staying clean is the hard part. When I say you need to be in recovery I mean some sort of aftercare. You need to cut all your sources of getting the pills ASAP.