Will it really matter if I quit pain killers, besides the money issue?

[CompletlyUseless]

I've been addicted to oxy, hydros, and morphine for 13yrs. I've been clean for three months at a time and always relapse! Does getting clean really make that big of a difference! I've got a huge problem and part of me want to fight this but I've about given up on it.....

[mamaof4410]

Im at day 69. It does get easier but you have to take it one day at a time. Tell yourself "im not gonna use today...maybe tomorrow but not today" and the next day repeat the same thing. It helped me thru those first few days of heroin detox. Which all started with pain pills.  It was cheaper and always there so it seemed like a better fix...wrong.
after care is crucial to staying clean. You have to change everything in your life. People, places, things. I wont watch Journey to Mysterious Island the one with The Rock...because it was always on during the day and id be high outta my mind watching it. A see a drug counselor 3 times a week. I have tremendous support from most of my family.I have a huhusband and 5 beautiful children that think I hung the moon. You have to be thankful for what you do have. Find meetings. If you work during the day theyre are plenty in the evenings. I was so embarrassed when I walked into my first group but then I realized addiction doesnt discriminate. It effects people from all walks of life. It doesnt make us any less human. You have to have support. I tried and failed I dont know how many times getting clean...I attempted every time alone and got nowhere but using again. This time I reached out and yes some judged me to the point they no longer speak to me. Its ok because im sober and I did it for me and my family. Ive told the truth, ive apologized and asked for forgiveness and it wasn't an empty apology. Ive showed that I meant it and thats what matters. Best of luck to you and remember it does get better. And aftercare is critical in a successful recovery!

[luvdolphins58]

You can do it. Hang in there. I'm at day 15. Yes hard.
God bless you

[CompletlyUseless]

That's what I hear but I got myself here, it's hell to get out

[VICourageous]

SUPPORT! Hit some meetings, church, addiction counselor, therapist. Any thing so you can talk with other Addicts or be around clean people..It does take a lot of work and this is a life long process to keep staying clean..WE can not do this alone. You have to cut all ties with users and no more playing in your old stomping grounds..LOTS of Changes for the better..Try it you will like it.
If you check in here and are having a Bad day or a Craving we will support you all the way..It takes a few min to thank about it and few to walk away and forget. We have to learn to deal with Life and what it may put out there for us..No more running scared, hiding behind a substance..We learn to live in our own skin for the first time in a Long ash time..
Wishing you the best.
Bless

[CompletlyUseless]

Alright day 3 (again).....feeling like hell. Can anyone shed light on how to stay clean? I didn't realize how many people read this, I thought I was just feeling sorry for myself! I really appreciate every one of you kind souls!!

I really feel down about this whole thing, I'm smart enough to know not to go do it again but everything in me wants it every day I can only deny it for so long, I think

[atthebeach]

Welcome back. Have you been clean again for 90 days?
Hun your mind, body, soul and spirit are going to take longer than 90
Days to heal after years of use.
Please continue to move forward.
Keep the faith.
Are you getting support, counseling ,meetings, church.
Are you exercising, found a new hobby, resurrected an old one,
maintaining a healthy diet, taking vitamins, drinking protein shakes?
Made a new routine?

There is healing and restoration. It will take more time and patience.
Sending encouragement and prayers,
Debbie

[kellygirll]

you are there i dream of making it to 90 days I'm only at 36 but I'm on my way and the only way to live is soberly being in a drug haze is no way to live i thought that for a while but now nope being clean is great and you must know that you have 90 days and you are so worth it don't ever think any different and your mind will mess with you day and night you have to be strong and know that its your addiction thats doing that talking you have come so far best of luck to you!!!!!!!

[CompletlyUseless]

Thank you! 90 days is a start, I gotta do it again.... My mind is having issues not being high

[msdelight]

It 100% completely matters! You know that or you wouldn't be here! We are here to help. Think of the alternative to quitting - sickness, death, jail, homelessness....How far do you want to go? Get out now while you still have a glimmer of hope! You are worth the time and effort. You are a worthwhile precious child of God and you must FIGHT! And think of what you can do with all the extra greenbacks!!!!

[ROSYouralright]

Hey sweetie... Besides the financial aspect... Being clean is like living life in HD full color whereas on drugs its like black & white! While on pills you don't realize how much life your really missing! What a gift it is to really LIVE again!!

YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

[IBKleen]

WOW, that is your addiction screaming loud and clear. Yes it does matter. If it doesn't matter to you right now I will bet it matters to those who love you. It is hard to love an addict and I am certain that the people around you don't want to see you lose anymore. I hope you get to the point where you realize you are worth it and you take your life back. We will be here to support you every step of the way.

[jugglin]

For me, being clean was about living again.  Feeling again - the bad, the good, and the ugly.  I was slowly wasting away.  You have to want to quit.  When you do, we will be here to support you through your journey of healing.  Stick around, read some posts, ask questions.  There are many stories here that may sound like yours, may not, but are from addicts at different points in their paths.  Wish you the very best!

[OpenMind24hours]

First let's change "CompletelyWorthless" to "I'mWorthIT" my friend. You ARE worth it. There's no reason in the world why you have to commit to death by opiate destruction. Your addiction is telling you this is the way you must die. But believe it or not, 3 hours ago a power greater than you and your addiction combined helped you find this site and next thing you posted. To this addict up here in Michigan, you have a thread of hope going. A tiny spark of willingness to finally put this nightmare all behind you. And you can. You've just gone from the land of I can't to the planet of WE CAN. You've admitted you're powerless over this addiction of yours and just enlisted some help. This is a positive step in turning your life around.

When you got clean what did you do after that? Did you ever try aftercare like NA?

Briefly, I could have NEVER have gotten clean and enjoy life at the same time unless a complete change took place with me. I found that getting clean was just an event that left me miserable, with my addiction waking me up early every morning wanting to play. You got 3 months? I never got past a few days like that. Then I started going to meetings and working every day on changing my thinking. I quickly found that my own thinking will never fix my own thinking. And so far it's worked, one day at a time. First you get willingness (which you got) out of that comes the effort it takes to work on change. What say you??