Will my withdrawls be easier this time?

I relapsed after 16 days and believe me I am totally ashamed of it.  I tried a taper plan and got tired of it because I just want rid of these stupid pills.  The only reason I relapsed was because I couldn't handle the anxiety.  I relapsed for about 13 days and was not on near as much as I was to begin with.  My question is do you think my withdrawls will be easier this time?  I have went out and got the vitamins from the Thomas recipe, some Whey protein to drink, some ensure for bad days, lots of gatorade and water.  I'm more prepared this time.  I'm on day two and don't feel near as bad as I did last time.

[YesLife4Me]

Part of recovery is relapse for most all of us.  Sometimes it takes going through wd again, and sometimes again and again before we figure it out.  You learn something new about yourself and your addiction.  What are you going to do differently this time?  You will have withdrawal symptoms again.   As far as how bad, I don't know.  Sometimes they aren't as bad physically, but the mental anxiety and fog is still there  and will be there to address after 16 days in again.   You are going to have to address that part of your recovery with some after care.   That part does get better the longer you stay clean.   I know how you feel because right now you would be at 29 days and probably starting to feel more like your old self.  So instead of beating yourself up, get back up in the saddle and ride this monster bronco.  Be prepared for the ups and downs and remain firm in your decision to hold on for your life, because your life does depend on it.    

[keith187]

        Good to see you back and posting......nothing to be ashamed of...nolifeforme is right with every relapse we learn a little something about our addiction.....Stay close to this site.....help another struggling addict..have you been to an aa or na meeting?These are the things that are helping me.....And yes you probably will have some symtoms (symptoms)...

[vicodinsux]

hey I'm new to this I just signed up today and the reason why I signed up is because I'm in the same boat that you're in. but I've quit so many times that I can't even remember I've been on vicidins for almost 5-6 years and my longest sobriety was about 9 months I've even gone to rehab which didn't help much it just made  my addiction stronger when I came  and I really think that had to do with me not going on my own but in the past 4 months I've probably quit and relapsed about 6 times and I did notice that the withdrawals on some occasions were not as bad as they were when I was addicted for long period of time like by a long time I mean almost a month or more. I have about 50 pills left and I'm trying to go with the taper plan but I know how I am I don't have that much self control I'm really really lost I really don't know what to do anymore I know I have a very big problem but I've lost all hope in myself I'm a big disappointment to my wife my parents and the worst is that my 2 year old daughter does not deserve  this and I know that no 1 can quit until they're really ready to quit this past year is probably been the worst I got arrested twice I totaled my car I'm currently on probation and like I said earlier I'm so lost in the seduction but I'm letting the monster take over my life. but this time I'm very serious about quitting or finding a solution to my diction and I hope you're there someone out there that can help me. I was just thinking since I read your post why don't we help each other motivate each other to stay sober and maybe you can help me out with things that I don't know and maybe I can do the same for you I know I have a very addictive personality but the 1 good thing is that when I was sober I got addicted to working out and that was probably the best time of my life and the best sober time that I had from when I quit this drug this is in the 9  months that I was sober it was before I had my daughter my wife was diagnosed with cancer while she was pregnant with our daughter and I was my worst time of my addiction it really took a toll on me and I just went further in deep. not to mention the past year that I did get arrested and I totaled my car I also got laid off from my job which made my addiction a lot more stronger as well I got so bad that I started stealing from my own family and I'm not trying to brag or show off but I was making really good money at my age I'm only 25 now my diction started when I was 20 and my family has money as well I was never homeless I was always given stuff in my life my family really support me financially and they been supporting me through my diction as well but the same time I think back that I stole from my own parents I stole from my sister I stole from my wife I also sold my wedding ring just for some pills. then when I think about all that it really kills me inside that I let the addiction control me so much that I did stuff that I would never do I'm sorry I'm not trying to take over your posting but I kinda related to you in so many ways even though we were 2 totally different people we have so many similarities in our problems. I feel like a s****** and I feel like the worst person in the world I really want to get sober and I'm in tears now I just don't know how many do it I'm not scared the withdrawals it's just the psychological addiction I'm not scared of the physical part of this addiction I'm were scared of going back into reality in going back into the real world after I'm sober that's what always gets me I'm clean for a long. Of time and once I go back to the outside world and I start getting out of my house and I start doing stuff and I keep myself busy I'll just tell myself or if I just take 1 pill it's not going to hurt me and  that 1 pill turned into 1,000. I know I'm answering my own questions but that's what happens every single time I get sober and I get clean is that I always go back and I've never felt for any other drugs I've never done any other drugs except for smoking marijuana show once in a blue moon and drinking alcohol but those are easy for me I can quit those and I have quit those I stop drinking I stop smoking now I'm only 1 problem that I have left are these pills someone please reply and someone please help me with this I need some clarity I need to know what to do when I know you can't do this for me or give me an answer that's really gonna change me I know God is the only 1 that can give me grace but maybe some wise words of wisdom can help me. Thank you guys I think I just need to talk and I think I just need to let this off my chest

[vicodinsux]

hey I'm new to this I just signed up today and the reason why I signed up is because I'm in the same boat that you're in. but I've quit so many times that I can't even remember I've been on vicidins for almost 5-6 years and my longest sobriety was about 9 months I've even gone to rehab which didn't help much it just made  my addiction stronger when I came  and I really think that had to do with me not going on my own but in the past 4 months I've probably quit and relapsed about 6 times and I did notice that the withdrawals on some occasions were not as bad as they were when I was addicted for long period of time like by a long time I mean almost a month or more. I have about 50 pills left and I'm trying to go with the taper plan but I know how I am I don't have that much self control I'm really really lost I really don't know what to do anymore I know I have a very big problem but I've lost all hope in myself I'm a big disappointment to my wife my parents and the worst is that my 2 year old daughter does not deserve  this and I know that no 1 can quit until they're really ready to quit this past year is probably been the worst I got arrested twice I totaled my car I'm currently on probation and like I said earlier I'm so lost in the seduction but I'm letting the monster take over my life. but this time I'm very serious about quitting or finding a solution to my diction and I hope you're there someone out there that can help me. I was just thinking since I read your post why don't we help each other motivate each other to stay sober and maybe you can help me out with things that I don't know and maybe I can do the same for you I know I have a very addictive personality but the 1 good thing is that when I was sober I got addicted to working out and that was probably the best time of my life and the best sober time that I had from when I quit this drug this is in the 9  months that I was sober it was before I had my daughter my wife was diagnosed with cancer while she was pregnant with our daughter and I was my worst time of my addiction it really took a toll on me and I just went further in deep. not to mention the past year that I did get arrested and I totaled my car I also got laid off from my job which made my addiction a lot more stronger as well I got so bad that I started stealing from my own family and I'm not trying to brag or show off but I was making really good money at my age I'm only 25 now my diction started when I was 20 and my family has money as well I was never homeless I was always given stuff in my life my family really support me financially and they been supporting me through my diction as well but the same time I think back that I stole from my own parents I stole from my sister I stole from my wife I also sold my wedding ring just for some pills. then when I think about all that it really kills me inside that I let the addiction control me so much that I did stuff that I would never do I'm sorry I'm not trying to take over your posting but I kinda related to you in so many ways even though we were 2 totally different people we have so many similarities in our problems. I feel like a s****** and I feel like the worst person in the world I really want to get sober and I'm in tears now I just don't know how many do it I'm not scared the withdrawals it's just the psychological addiction I'm not scared of the physical part of this addiction I'm were scared of going back into reality in going back into the real world after I'm sober that's what always gets me I'm clean for a long. Of time and once I go back to the outside world and I start getting out of my house and I start doing stuff and I keep myself busy I'll just tell myself or if I just take 1 pill it's not going to hurt me and  that 1 pill turned into 1,000. I know I'm answering my own questions but that's what happens every single time I get sober and I get clean is that I always go back and I've never felt for any other drugs I've never done any other drugs except for smoking marijuana show once in a blue moon and drinking alcohol but those are easy for me I can quit those and I have quit those I stop drinking I stop smoking now I'm only 1 problem that I have left are these pills someone please reply and someone please help me with this I need some clarity I need to know what to do when I know you can't do this for me or give me an answer that's really gonna change me I know God is the only 1 that can give me grace but maybe some wise words of wisdom can help me. Thank you guys I think I just need to talk and I think I just need to let this off my chest

[toothfairie]

hi vicodinsux....sorry you are going thru this....you might want to start your own thread so more people can see it....click on the "ask a question" at the top of the page....it doesn't have to be a question...you can just ask for support...more people can see it if you start your own post....just wanted to lend my support and tell you this site is awesome for support and info...just know that you are not alone.....you can get your life back!  we can help with questions you have.