Day 10 clean from opiates.... I never had a problem with alcohol before but I always have enjoyed a few beers/wine during a game or social event.... My major and only chemical dependence issue was the 3 1/2 yr. Percocet habit that I am recovering from... Anyway, my wife and I decided to celebrate my 10th day clean and go out for dinner. Well, to make a long story short we ordered a bottle of wine and by the third glass I turned into an angry monster. Stuff was coming out of my mouth that I couldn't believe ( even though, as I'm writing this I still think I had a point or two but I was way to mean in any event). I apologized after we got home ( but I was so abusive in my comments that she left dinner without me and I walked home alone), and she accepted and understood my issues and all is good. Now I fully understand I should stay away from any alcohol if this is how it will continue to make me act but I do have a few questions about alcohol and recovering opiate attitcts:
Just to be clear I have never been more than a social drinker, but tonight I experienced a surge of anger plus it took me a very limited amount of wine (I usually have a higher tolerance) to become impaired and irrational.
1) will I ever be able to drink a limited amount and not experience such a drastic personality change?
2) was this a clear sign that I am still going through physical and mental withdrawals?
3) does anyone have any knowledge in the chemical inbalance I may create with drinking this early in my recovery?
The good news is that I didn't use an opiate (though I did have the urge) as I have no access but I am ashamed of my behavior and if it takes me not drinking to avoid that I will certantly do that but I would love to know that I can still enjoy a drink or two in a safe setting in the future. If anyone has experience with this I would love some feedback..
Thank you