I've been taking about 6 Vicodin a day for over & year & now I'm out. What will the withdrawal be like? Anything I can do as far as over the counter products or easy to obtain herbal or natural remedies? Please answer fast. Thanks
And I just can't believe I did this to myself. My family will still love me but I just don't want anyone to know. When I get home from work today at 5:00 my husband will have cleaned the house & dinner will be ready & my little 6 year old will run to me, SO happy to see me. Where am I supposed to go in this little town where everyone knows me & I know everyone. I am in big trouble I think.
What choice do I have? It's already started. It's Sunday, I'm at work; the only one here so I can't leave; I took my last one this morning & nowhere to go to get any more, obviously. I'm expected home after work at 5; where else would I go? And back here tomorrow at 8:30. I don't WANT to but I don't see where I have an option.
I'm so sorry, I still havent found the Thomas Recipe... I'm going to keep lookin. If anyone knows it please pass it on for us. I too am going to need it when I stop the vics. It's a recipe filled with these different vitamins and stuff to take to help w/ the withdrawls. I'm going to keep looking for it...
Thanks. But I'm pretty sure I won't be stopping on the way home anyway. I see myself going straight home & pretending I have the flu. What kind of thing is that to do to a great guy & the best kid in the world. But being on drugs is fake, too isn't it? I know I'm being awful to myself & I don't deserve it, truly. I guess I'll get better.
I'd like to write to e-mail you but I don't think it's a good idea from work...but thank you. I originally got them for back pain; just chronic; not due to an accident & I have a prescription for 90 a month & can't get anymore than that & obviously I'm beyond the 3 a day. So there you have it.
I'll cut & paste & print the recipe but even if I was to stop on my way home, I don't think there'll be any place open that'll have all that stuff.
P.S. I just figured out where to put your name...no mold on me! :) Gotta keep smiling, right?
That's a good way to think. YOu will get better. The pain does go away. Your going to feel the withdrawls if you just stop cold turkey. YOu need to talk to your doctor tomarro and let him know whats going on. I'm sure he'll want to wean you off. He'll most likely give you something for the anxiety too. I just don't want you to have to go through all that pain. You do have support here. This forum will try there best to help you as much as possible.
Thank you! I am really scared & except for this stupid mess, I have a great life. And I want that stuff out of it. But I'd be crazy not to make it easier on myself. Or I suppose that's a drug-abusers way of looking at it. Whatever. Is it Ok to tell me where the best & safest (and quickest) place to get the Ultram would be? I did look really quickly & there are tons of sites. My God, if this works, you'll have good karma for the rest of your life.
Maybe I'm wrong about it being dangerous to stop vicodin cold turkey. That is what my doctor said who is an MD. That is why I told her that. Now you're saying it's not dangerous. She said to me that anyone that has been abusing vicodin for over a 9 month period should not just get off the drug w/ out some type of help okay. That is why I told her it was dangerous. It's not though in your opinion. I just told her what my MD told me. OKay.. Sorry if I'm wrong
PS I'm not sorry if I'm wrong because I'm not the one who's wrong. It must be my doctor that is wrong. I'm glad you said it's not true though. I didnt realize how smart you were. I have an appt tomarro w/ my doc so I'll be sure to tell her that it's not dangerous. Thanks for the help. For some crazy reason I thought my doctor knew what was dangerous in regards to medicane. I guess she was wrong.
Don't feel the need to apologize to me! (If that's who that was directed towards!)Maybe it's more dangerous for some people than others, depending on what other medications they're taking? I have no idea.
I know you always have helped people get through addictions. In fact. I can tell that you are a very smart person, but shouldn't Antoniette see a doctor first? You told her to go out and buy Ultram on the internet. You know I had just posted a question befor that about whether or not it's legal to get a script off the web w/ out a script. Isnt that illegal or is it legal? I have a friend whose getting a narcotic off the web. I was asking if that was legal. Let me know please...
Don't go buying Ultram on the Internet or anywhere else. You would just be trading one bad habit for another. First, the administrators really frown on members talking about online pharms, and second Ultram is highly addicting.
Your best bet it to go through detox the old-fashioned way...maybe use the "recipe" - but do yourself a favor and stay away from the Ultram.
I didnt say you had to be an md. I'm just saying that when my doctor passes an opinion on to me and I try to share it with someone on this forum to help. I think it should be appreciated. Read the forum. Bodymechanic comes on and says its not dangerous while I was working with this girl. I'm not going to write anymore on this forum. Good luck to all of you. I wish you the best. God Bless Each and everyone of you...
I'm sorry, but it is not dangerous to detox from heroin or vicodin or oxys or percs. It is uncomfortable. It is miserable, and relapse is definitely something to worry about. However, you will not have seizures and choke on your tongue like you might with benzos or alcohol. You will have the shakes, sweats, runs, aches and pains, etc., BUT it is not dangerous and is safe to do in the comfort of your own home.
You could address your question about it to the Dr. here at Medhelp...he will probably tell you the same thing.
You sound very frustrated...don't get so upset. You said, "Withdrawing from vicodin can be very painful as well as dangerous." I guess some people thought you meant it could be life-threatening...that is how it sounded to me. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry OK? It's not a big deal.
i don't post very often, i am 71 yr of age, this is what scares me little, i have only taken 1 oxycontin today, 10mg. i havn't been on oxy but a few months, but the dr is tapering me with them, before this i was on percocet 5-6 yr, big time. guess i can ask you what you think about my age being a factor. thanks to everyone. and have a good nights sleep.
Age is only a number. It depends what kind of shape your in. People are living to 100+ these days .... over 40,000 americans are over 100 years old! Next time you go to Rite Aid for a birthday card .... look for a Happy 100th Birthday card. They have them in stock ..... ps: easy does it ... you'll do just fine ... theGolden1
Yes, I guess you could say I'm alittle frustrated. I wrote atleast 3 times that vicodin withdrawal is dangerous but not life threatening. Posts keep coming up in regards to me saying that vic w/d is not life threatening. Okay I think we all get it now. Well I hope...
My two cents now... When I read the previous posts, I interpreted "dangerous" as life threatening as well. We all are different but generally, as you all know, opiate withdrawal will not kill you. Alcohol, barbituate, and benzos are dangerous and life threatening. I am getting ready to quit the vicodin again this week. I will let you know when I officially quit, It's been so bad for me lately, I am so anxiety riddled when I wake up in the mornings, it's getting unbearable. I have done it before a few times on my own, now I am not so sure I can =(
Withdrawing from vicodin can be very painful as well as dangerous. If you are addicted and you want to get off it cold turkey you should look up the Thomas Recipe that is listed in this forum. I have been on vicodin ES for a year and a half taking 8 to 10 a day. I decided to admit that I have a problem to my doctor and she is weaning me off. This may also be a good idea for you unless you have the will power to just get off of it cold turkey. I sure would not be able to, but I have heard of people doing it.
My doctor just started weaning me off. What she is doing is she started me out with taking 7 vic's for 5 days, then I'll go to 6 for 5 more days, then 5, 4,3,2,1. I hope this will work for me. This forum has also helped alot. I'm trying to open myself up to people. THis might help you as well.
I am also going to councilling and I'm taking ativan 2mg. for the anxiety that most people face when withdrawing.
I wish you all the luck. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
Don't be so hard on yourself. This happens to people. No one is perfect. I also have children. 2 little boys ages 6 and 3 who are my life. I know how you feel. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I found in my life that when I tried to quit taking vicodin that I could'nt do it. I kept it a secret from everyone. You should try to tell someone about it. Maybe just talking to us will help. I come from a very good family too. My mom is like my best friend. I finally told her that I was addicted to vicodin. She was very supportive. Don't underestimate people. I figured she would be so mad. Does your hubby know? THe point is that you want to get help.
WHy do you want to quit cold turkey?
I heard that withdrawing is horrible. You get really bad stomach cramps, insomnia, anxiety. I heard it lasts for about a week. It's also really dangerous to just quit vicodin cold turkey that is why I'm curious why you just want to stop cold turkey. Help is out there.
As for the part where you are worried about getting counsilling because you live in a small town and everyone will know you. Look up NA. Narcotics Anonymous. They have closed meetings and open. Closed meetings mean that the only people aloud in are addicts. Open meetings mean anyone can go in. Family, friends, ect. YOu may want to find out where closed meetings are in your area..
I'm going to look up the Thomas Recipe for you and I'll send it in just a few minutes..
Okay I found the recipe. I just read your last 2 messages. Sorry I didnt see them befor. Well your right it's sunday what can you do. Let me ask you this why were you on the vicodin? I may be able to give you an alternative once I find out why you were on it. Okay here's the recipe.L-tyrosine 500mg 8 times a day week 1 then 4 a day the following weeks.
B-6 100mg 2 times a day
Vitamin C--E--and A
A stong multiple vitamin
Imodium for the runs.
Taking a Benzo is also part of the recipe, but is a huge contraversy so I wont go into that.
Eat bananas for leg spasms and shakes.
Drink Gatorade for lost electrolytes due to the runs. If you still have depression after a week, some people recomment 5htp
If you want to email me you can @ ***@****
I hope this helps
I am not sure why you are being told that withdrawal from vicodin is dangerous. Unless you have some medical condition I am not aware of, it simply is not true. You are taking a relatively low dose of the the drug as compared to many. If this is your first time withdrawing the fear will probably be alot worse than the process. If you have no choice but to go cold turkey just do it. The worst will be over in 72 hours. Take a few days off work and pretend you have the flu. Make no mistake about it, the feeling is really shitty but it will soon pass. Unfortunately for many people, getting off is much easier than staying off. Don't worry about what other people will think. They will not know. Besides, if you painted everyone with a drug or alcohol problem blue, you would think many in your town are Smirfs. You could make the whole process almost painless if get about 30 ultram. Look on the internet. They are everywhere without a presciption. Some places can have them in your hand by tomorrow afternoon. Stay in touch we'll help you through.
The sale of narcotics from online pharmacies is a very grey area of the law. I wrote an article about it awhile ago. Every state has different laws. Many of these places are getting busted, and we have found that the doctors that work at these places are the biggest slimes around. They have usually been kicked out of a real practice, and they've found an alternate way to make big money.
So many people have fed their addictions through these places, and the doctors do not give a **** about them. Think about it...anything that easy has probably got something wrong with it....2 second phone consult where a "dr." asks you what you want (literally), and a couple hundred bucks later UPS shows up with your Vicodin. I think most people recognize that there is something not right about this.
There are certain drugs including benzodiapams, barbituates and alcohol that can be dangerous to stop cold turkey. Vicodin and opiates in general are not in that class.
Should someone see a doctor for a drug problem?...In an ideal world that would be by far the best way to handle it. Unfortunately where addiction is concerned, honesty is not always the best policy. Most doctors do not want to deal with an addicition problem. There are far too many people who were honest with their doctors only to regret ever saying anything. Not only did they not get the help they expected but it did irrepairable damage to their doctor patient relationship. Even worse, the last thing anyone needs is being labled "addict" on their permanant medicial record. I usually assume, maybe incorrectly that anyone asking for help on a message board cannot or will not ask their doctor for help. Besides, most of the regular members on this board have far more knowlage of addicions than most doctors.
As far as getting ultram online. If you want them overnight, it is going to cost you. Do not buy more than 30 (that is the minimum you can buy), take them sparingly and do NOT stay on for more than 4 days. Detoxing with ultram is becoming increasingly more popular with doctors and hospitals. The big downside is the possiblity of becoming addicted to ultram, so keep it short. Davocet will work just as well but are harder to get.
I completely agree w/ you on both things. Body mech really upset me when #1 he tells Antonet that it was not dangererous to withdraw from vicodin when I had just told her it was. #2 He then tells her to go and get a bottle of Ultram off the web. I was really trying to help her and then he says all that stuff. It really upset me, but I'm over it.
I had asked befor whether or not it was legal to order meds off the net. I have a close relative who is addicted to a narcotic and she's telling me she's getting her stuff off the computer. I love her and hurts enough to know she's going through what we are all going through. THen to think she's going to get busted by the law..
Thanks for your response. I totally agree w/ you, girl...
Bodymech, Are you a doctor? Or in the medical field? I sware I'm not trying to be smart. You said withdrawing from vicodin is not dangerous. Where did you come up with that assumption. My doctor is an MD. THis means she went to medical school for 7 years. She said it is dangerous, okay.
Your assumption about people coming to this forum because they have not gotten help from there doctor may be right. But in my case it is wrong. I came here because I wanted to get other peoples opinions and hear for myself that I'm not alone in this thing. I also want to feel like I'm helping other people through there addiction. Just knowing that I may have helped someone helps me with my addiction tremendously.
I do believe you have alot to offer us because you are a smart person and the stuff you say makes so much sense. I just got really upset when I told this girl that vicodin withdraw was dangerous and you get on and say it's not.
I hate to be contrary once again but 1) Ultram is not listed anywhere as a narcotic drug. 2) It is not a controlled substance 3) Online purchace of ultram is not in a grey area, it is perfectly legal. 4) The offical stand on ultram is that it is only addictive in persons with a history of addiction (us) 5) Ultram is in fact being used to detox people from opiated drugs.
Mariposa does bring up an excellen point of which I have already warned you about. The possiblity of switching one addiction for another. This happens all the time. The "recipe" includes the use of a benzodiazam drug. The addiction potential of ultram may be questionable from a statistical standpoint, but with diazapams there is no question about it, they are addicting. Also, once you learn how easy it is to get drugs online you may find yourself like a kid in a candy store. A very dangerous place for an addict to be.
Antoniette, at this point, consider everything you have read and make the best judgement can for yourself. When dealing with addictions there seems to be no right or wrong, there is only opinion.
I said nothing about ultram being dangerous to withdraw from or to take. What I said is that it is dangerous to withdraw from vicodin alone. I still believe it is. When my MD says that it is then I believe it is.. The word Dangerous does not mean you are going to die from it. I did not say that. Withdrawing from vicodin alone is dangerous because #1 there is a good chance you will go back to it and #2 vicodin is very simalar to heroin. Havent you heard of all the suicides that have been reported because of people being addicted to vicodin and heroin? I sure have. In that respect it is dangerous...
Why would you say you are not going to write here anymore? Is it because someone disagreed with you? Come on...we all have information we share with each other. Sometimes it is different. Doctors can be wrong sometimes. I have been in detox...inpatient and out. Everyone at those places has told me I was better off than the alcoholics and benzo addicts because I was detoxing from something relatively easy....easy in that I wasn't going to die or have major complications because of it.
People are allowed to have different opinions - no one if fighting or being disrespectful. It would be a shame to leave because of this thread. Take care.
Please don't take anything I write personally. You may not like what I write but don't shoot me, I am only the messenger. I go through great lengths to make sure that the information that I post is accurate. I wish I knew a lot more than I know. I would welcome anyone who could present more accurate and better information. There is already way too much rumor, prejudice, and just plain old ignorace in the field of addiction. It does great harm to those who are trying to recover. Considering their position in health care field, medical doctors as a whole are frighteningly ignorant of drug withdrawals and addictions in general. As far as the credentials that hang on my wall, there are many. Diplomas do not help prevent addiction or speed recovery. As far as vicodin being dangerous to withdraw from, show me anything anywhere that shows this to be a fact and I will immediately change my position on the subject.
I am not shooting you down, but it felt like you were shooting me down when you said that what I had said was not true. I know everyone has there own opinions, but I was trying to help her and you said what I said was not true. When I say it's dangerous to withdrawal from vicodin I don't mean you're going to die or have seisures ect. I just mean that a person who is addicted should get help. Withdrawaling from vicodin should be done under a MD> Well, that's my opinion. You can have yours. I'm sorry if I offended you. I've had a horrible day. I don't mean to take it out on you. I'm sorry. When my doc told me it was dangerous I think she meant it's dangerous in the sence that a person can go crazy and do something to themselves that they would not normally do if they were not withdrawing...I know I felt that way when I was trying to quit cold turkey. DO you understand what I mean??????
To come to body's defense vicodin withrawl is not life threatening like benzo's and other drugs, dangerous is a sticky word but to set the record straight unless you are a sick person to begin with, vicodin withdrawl is not dangerous and not life threatening, people detox cold turkey every day and live to tell about it. yea it sucks but will not kill you. Antionette, we are all in the same boat none of us are bad people, we are all good people with a commom bond, the majority of us got addicted just like you, for a specific medical problem. Just my 2 cents worth anyone got change? Baddgirl
Well, I guess I must be one of those sick people you are talking about because when I quit cold turkey I was ready to kill myself. I didnt kill myself, but I didnt quit either.
I really don't think I'm a sick person though. I did have that feeling of wanting to die though. I just think it's dangerous to get off of vicodin with out help. So I guess in your book I'm a sick person.
I come from a very good family, I have a great supportive hubby and two wonderful kids. I don't think I'm sick. That really hurt that you would say that...
Sorry that you feel that way. I am getting the help I need now though with getting off vicodin..
"Dangerous" is a subjective concept. Age and current health also determine the risks or stopping cold-turkey from opiates. This isn't medical knowledge, just common sense.
Another issue these days is Oxycontin. You can take so much oxycodone now that w/d can be far worse than a sizeable heroin habit.
I w/d from 800mgs oxycodone daily, and I survived. I did wean a little and do a 30 day done' detox, but it was pretty brutal. However, w/ding from a benzo (klonopin) habit was worse. I didn't sleep at all for 23 days and went insane. I wasn't as horrible depressed as I was w/ding from opiates though, just totally withdrawn, like I was watching life go by on a TV.
People who take benzos for epilepsy really need to watch out: when they w/d they often suffer pretty bad seizures.
Bottom line, it's all dangerous, all life threatening, but few people I have heard of die from opiate w/d, and I've never heard of anyone getting really long-term sickness or death from vike w/d.
Just wanted to tell you thanks for your honesty. I always strongly consider your posts....they are realistic and straight to the point. Keep posting no matter what. I really get a lot of inspiration (and HONESTY) from you. THANKS! Bless you.
I know that addiction is hard to get over, but I've been clean from methamphtamine and pills since mid-September. You just have to stick with it. This forum has helped my like out so much. It's great to have people like this WANTING to help you. It's hard to find, so don't blow it over petty fights. I'd hate to see something I love so much go to waste.
I know the feeling about the "waste of time". I think all addicts have struggled with, "How many days will this script of 90 last?" Personally for me, it didn't last long enough. No matter how many I had, it never lasted long enough. My wife has been so supportive. I'm so grateful she's stood by me. I took 2 years out of my life but the important thing is, one day I awoke. Stay the course and the fog will lift and the aches will fade. The rainbow is just around the corner. It's awesome just to know I don't have to take pills to get through the day!!!!
I relapsed on day 10. I found some percs in my car and took 4. I threw 5 of them out on the interstate the next day. I'm on day 25. I stopped using the last day of Oct. With each passing day, I get better. Today, I am going to pick up a load of fire wood for our fire place. Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have even though of picking up a log of wood. It get's better....much better.
Talk to you later.
Before I started using pain medication I would wake up in the morning stiff and sore. Feeling like a 100 yr old man. Now I wake up in the morning with beginnings of withdrawal, chills, sweaty, cramps and generally feeling shitty. I starting to think that I liked the pain better.
been reading your posts and you have it right on,dangerous thats it i have tryed detoxing many,many times and i keep going back because my heart hurtd real bad,runs,muscle aches,etc you all know the story,but wow man felt like if i stayed detoxing i might be putting myself in danger,not death but danger!!!!
althought it may have killed me?just dont know,talked to my doctor and they weaned me off,that also did not work,i think i am a true addict,well be well all,and hang in there pink.
good advice belive me you...tce37
That was a great post. It helped me alot. I haven't upped my dose of ultram yet ... but I realized that I shouldn't have started tapering down until after the holidays. I have so much to do to set out my Martha Stewart "Thanksgiving day Bash" in style! My family comes in from four different counties to sit down for Giving Thanks ..... it's a heck of a time to start a detox ...... bad timing. I need to make a new plan. a plan for sucess .....
I've come down from about a year of Vicodin abuse, and my life was not threatened, personally. I got scared around night 3, as the WD's were in full effect. My muscles where tensing, and I was more fatigued than usual, so I was experiencing either shortness of breath or some wicked chest pain. I tried to stay calm (YEAH RIGHT) but eventually I told my husband to take me to the ER.
There I sat for about an hour, getting my vitals checked, and walking out with a Clonidine 0.2mg inside me and a script for another 3 day supply of the Clonidine, to use 3 times a day as needed. I took them religiously.
I did not mess around with this "Thomas Recipe." All I took was the clonidine. Perhaps I should have added some Immodium, but I toughed it out.
The most life threatening thing to me was the Clonidine. I'm a healthy, athletic, 24 year old, and Clonidine is nothing more than an ANTI-hypertensive. It made me terribly lethargic, I couldn't stand or walk for more than 30 minutes at a time. So if you already have low blood pressure, or are taking meds for high blood pressure, Clonidine may not be for you.
Bottom line? I had a nasty week of withdrawels. To top things off, they were the hottest 5 days we had ALL summer in Wisconsin. I couldn't sleep much, I was very restless, had no appetitte, spent half the day on the toliet, and sweat a whole lot. No real bad restless legs, or severe depression. But I had someone with me 24-7. My husband or my mom, bless their sweet, sweet soles.
Everyone is different. I've slipped back a few times in the past month, and I've tried coming off about 3 times. I didn't experience one awful thing that I did the first time around, so now it's all mental baby. I can do it, I did it once, I'll do it again.
Now you do it. Don't let people here scare you. It's going to be scary enough, but at least let yourself feel some control.
I hope that helped you. Good luck to you, and good luck everyone.
In my experience, withdrawls from vic's are uncomfortable at most. Whether you ween or quit cold turkey, you aren't going to like the feelings that you have. I was taking 20-25 VIC ES a day & have quit 3 times now. The symptoms are not unbearable, life threatening or anything else other than uncomfortable. Don't be scared to dive head first into this experience. Your body will thank you after a few days. Things are truly what you make of them. If you get depressed withdrawling, get happy that your clean. Life sucks sometimes but we only have ourselves to blame for this. GET CLEAN & GET HAPPY!!!!
Not life threating? Well the drug withdrawals may not be textbook lifethreating, but the depression that results very much could be, ALl you have to do is read some of the forum archives.
The last 4 days were the worst days of my life, and I wanted to die.(Note I did not say I wanted to kill myself). I am not sure about one compnent of the Recipe - the L-Tyrosine. It's possible that was adding anxiety, not energy. I stopped just that component.
For anyone who does not believe in God and His Grace, you may want to hear about this. I had my Dad and friends over yesterday, and I was in such a state, that my wife had the phone number to a one week detox facility in her hand and we considering going this AM. My family prayed for me, and I prayed like never before, saying I was at the very end of my rope.
I woke up this morning and well what words can I use? Soaring, Euphoric, Extremely positive, but mostly the phrase "the worst may be over". (Noticed I used "may"). I feel so good this morning, other than a little back pain, that I am in tears. All I see is sunshine.
Many will say, "you just came out of the back end of the WDs. "
I say Jesus helped me, because the only thing that changed was the group prayer, and my realization that I am powerless, truly powerless (see step1 of the 12 step programs).
Thanks to vereyone here, and I am not oblivsious to the fact that the depression may return. The depression, for me, was the worst. Now that that has past, I can easlily deal with the physical symptoms.
Finally, the one common thread I have read on these boards is "relapse". So I will hange here and help all I can, as you guys, have helped me.
Today IS AN AWESOME DAY! You guys - all of you can do it, with HIS help!
Huge Congrats on Day 4 is it?!! I don't have internet access over the weekend but was really happy to hear that you've made it this far. The worst of the physical pain should be passing now. Do not get discouraged over the next little while. When I got over the hump I thought things would rapidly improve for me. While things have improved daily, the process has been SLOW. Last week I had five nights where I could barely sleep. In fact, I did not sleep more than an hour on two nights. The past couple of nights I have slept relatively well without any sleep aids. Today, which is now my 15th day since my last use, I finally can say that I am starting to truly feel good. I am still a bit lethargic. I am still a little up and down. But the cramping is decreasing, and the energy is returning.
Remember sometimes "patience" can be a four-letter word! Don't expect it all to just come back. Give it time and you'll do great. You've made some incredible decisions over the past couple of weeks. First, you decided that you wanted to quit. Next, you took the action to quit. A lot of people will say that getting off is the easy part, staying off is the hard part. This is true. Do not, however, minimize your accomplishment. I know you've talked a lot about depression. This is a natural part of the process. The brain is being forced to give up something it loves. Pain pills are downers and you've just pulled the rug out of what sustained you in this "down" state. Now you're left down there alone and your brain needs to kick itself back into gear to pull you out. Celebrate the fact that you are freeing yourself from the shackels (sp?) of the pills. Celebrate that you are returning to life. Let the pain that you feel now serve as the fuel to your desire to stay clean. Remember well the pain and despair you have experienced over the past days so that they may weigh against any decision to relapse.
Sorry for the ramble, but keep up the fight, MAN!!
Congratulations. You've taken a very big step. I, too, was a heavy opiate user and I, too, found a 12 step program. I can honestly say that if it were not for the program, I would be using again. Some will argue 12 step programs do not work, however, I'm of the opinion that each one of us needs to find what works and stick to it. The feeling you are having today, is no doubt "The Pink Cloud" (read the big book). You will have days of feeling like this (ain't it grand?) and you'll have days of confusion and cravings. The post accute withdrawls are very tough, but it sounds like you've realized you are powerless. The longer you can hold out without using, the less you'll crave.
Again, congratulations and good luck.
A very fitting name to use at this forum. I got to the point where I was so burned out on my use. I think that is why the cravings having been too strong since I detoxed. I was just sick and tired of using. Its been 15 days now and today has by far been my best day yet.
I too have become involved in a 12 step program since detoxing. While hearing a lot about them on this site, I knew none of their details. In my limited experience, I think they are a great source of strength for a recovering addict. I do not attend daily meetings but I do attend 3hr meetings 3 days a week. It is good to get around other addicts. While at times the meetings do not seem to be to relevant to my needs, there are certain "gems" that are expressed by other addicts that really hit home and provide a pool of resources to avoid a relapse. I highly recommend at least checking out a meeting.
I am trying everything in my power to stay clean. I am playing the numbers game. I believe statistically people who attend meetings have a higher rate of avoiding relapse. So, I go to meetings. I don't yet even know the 12 steps but I am working on it.
I was to the point in my addiction where the meds no longer gave me that "good feeling". I was taking them, just to feel normal. That's when I knew I had to kick em. Recovery is not an easy path to take and I respect anyone wishing to get better. After about day 17, I started feeling normal again. I got my energy back, the head-fog cleared and I started communicating with my wife. I've been told by other recovering addicts that; "One pill is too many and a thousand is not enough". That rings of truth...for me, that is. I know if I take one, then I'll seek more so I have to stay away from that first one.
For those trying to quit, remember this:
You have to weather the storm before you can find the rainbow.
My experience is very similar to yours'. I wasn't getting high for about the past two months of my use. I was using just to not hurt. I woke up each morning in a partial withdrawal and needed a pill first thing. It was the first thing I did in the morning and the last thing I did at night. It occupied so much of my thoughts. I can't believe the brain power I wasted on thinking about pills: "Do I have enough?" "Where will I get more?" "I'll only do this much today." "Okay here's my new tapering schedule." "Okay here's my next tapering schedule."
What a waste!
Today has been my best day in months. I still feel the aches and the cramps. My head is still a bit foggy. I am still a little weak. This may last another two weeks or two months. But I got a taste of life again and I love it! I can now start mending my relationship with my wife. I checked out for 8 months. She didn't know what was wrong but I was there but not there. She thought she was doing something wrong. I feel so bad. I really have destroyed her trust of me. I am now starting to work to get it back. I also lied to myself so much that I need to get me back as well. Its a good time to take a good look at myself and decide what my course hereafter will be. I think I see a rainbow off in the distance through the clouds!
I definitely know what you mean about the scripts never lasting long enough. I went through mine in two weeks or less despite continually being prescribed more. My wife has been very supportive. I don't know where she gets the commitment or strength. I am very lucky to have her. She has her days where she kind of breaks down. I lied to her so much. She just wants life to return to what it was before I started abusing the pills. I want that life back to. I think because I feel so free from the pills that I feel like I am right back there. Its like a checked out for 8 months and then checked right back in. I forget that she had to live with me while I was checked out and has been deeply wounded by my actions. I have a lot to make up to her. I am determined to regain her trust. I have been keeping a count of the days since I last used in order to remind myself how long it took to feel good again not so much to remind me how long I have been clean. I'd actually like to not keep a close day by day count once I do feel good again. How long has it been for you?
Thanks for the notes and the encouragement. Its good to meet up with somebody that shares in some of my experiences.
I fully expect to dodge some arrows in the next week or month, but the comment about going off vs staying off is in the forefront of my mind.
There is no physical pain I have ever experienced that equals the absolute despair and Anxiety-ride I went on over the weekend. I may have started the Thomas Recipe too soon, or maybe adding the 5http did something, but I was literally 5 minutes from a decision to go to the hospital when I started to feel better, a little better. Then a good bit better. Then last night, it just passed, like a light switch really. Then this morning, my word, I got up, and my back hurt of course, but my mind was like it hasn't been in years, just sunny, ya know. (My mind was never much to start with - brainstorms for me amount to light drizzles).
And then at work today, I realized what a pathetic employee I must have been over the last months and years - just not motivated and interested in going home to my pills - how pathetic. Today, the opposite, happy to see people, upbeat, and then it hit me. This is exactly how it felt after 2 months of giving up alcohol. Compacted energy and sunshine.
Anyway, I fully realize and even expect I could be here tommorow or the next day or the next crying in my wheaties, asking for strength again, because of the next hurdle.
Today I just want to say _thanks_ for the strength over the last couple of weeks. I know one thing now, I didn't know last week. I can win/I will win - with God's help, and the people in this place.......
I cut down my dose of ultram only 25 mil last week. Tommorrow is day 9 ... and I feel "painful". I can't believe this. My body still hasn't adapted to the new dosage. I'm going to try excersizing (going for a walk) I would rather switch to vikes and take it from there. I have been able to get off vicodin without a problem in about 5 days total. This ultram stuff is bizzare. It's not an opiate, but fools the brain into thinking that it is ... how weird is that? I have such a stiff neck I can't turn my head. All the fibromyalgia pain came down and whacked me today. If I knew it was going to be like this .... I would have quit ultram completely. It's almost Thanksgiving ... and I'm under the weather. At least I got a reality check by cutting down on Ultram. It stays in your system too long. I'll take vicodin anytime. Short term, of coarse. hmm ... now what will I do?
Things are okay. I have to be honest...I just feel better at this time in my life when I can take a pill. I know it's weak, I accept complete responsibility for my actions. Sometimes I just feel like, "Damn, my back does not hurt when I take one of those pills! And it helps me calm down, too!" Is that really so wrong? I'm sorry, I don't want to discourage anybody or sound negative....but, I'm just being honest. I mean, damn, my back doesn't hurt. I can work, I can function. I'm so depressed about losing Logan. And I know that has a lot to do with my attitude right now. My heart is breaking, and if a pill helps me cope , then so be it. I know I'll here alot from you guys, how I'm wrong and seeing things the wrong way. Right now, I just feel hurt and little angry. Somebody who GIVES and makees this world a better place dies for no good reason, so what does it matter if I take a percocet because my back hurts???? Guess it's the depression and bitterness speaking, I don't know. Love you all.
This is something I haven't mentioned here before, but because it may help you, I will.
I believe my drinking (sober now 7 years) and subsequently the Vicodin was a way to alleviate the intense anxiety I have had for the last 15 years. I somehow developed panic attacks and a killer phobia - of public speaking no less! This is liking a mouse having PA eating cheese. Like my wife says about me, " I have never had an unexpressed thought!"
I have struggled to find a solution for a decade and a half, only to live in fear and failure each time. Drinking took away the pain, but brought shame and in the end would have just killed me. Vicodin, while originally prescribed for my back, which is a legit problem and still hurts, also took away the anxiety to some degree. It eventually turned full circle though and gave me the hell I have been living in.
So why I am telling you this? Because I decided that I can only realistically expect to solve one major problem at a time. I said to myself "First, get off the vicodin", then pick back up on the social phobia battle with a clean mind and body. With God's help it is happening. I was literally trying to solve both problems at once, and it just was knocking me out. This is also why it is fairly difficult for me to walk into an NA meeting with 60 people in it. Most people here may be nervous - sure, but how about FREAKING TERRIFIED and for what reason you don't know?
Now you know this is coming, so let's get it over with huh? Opioids can be used to treat back pain. Where we get in trouble IMHO is when we use them to treat every pain, including emotional ones, like i did.
Having said that, keep your mind on grieving and do your best with God's help to bring that to closure. I think I speak for the rest of the group when I say we'll be here to help you get back in the saddle.
(Warning: Just make sure that day arrives in a reasonable period of time, OK? )
Amazed: In your last sentence you want people's account of How (and why) they obtained such quantities of pain meds.
You sound frustrated about your situation; but this is not a forum telling people how to get meds. Most are here fighting for to recapture their lives.
Reiterating Southernbelle's comment: What is your point?
I have been thinking the same thing. I mean, why am I tormenting myself now, a few days before the Thanksgiving. My goal is to be almost or completely clean by December 6th. That is when I am hoping to start the bupenorphine. That is a little while off. I think I am going to up my does a little, hopefully without going back to taking pills by the handful. I can always restart the taper on Friday. If I don't mess up real bad it should not put me behind. At least I can do what I need to do for the holiday.
hi all. bodymech, like you i'm so tired of this ****, i am tapering off of oxy's, we go to louisville for thanksgiving at my sisters home, had just a few left, so my wife has gone to the dr's office for another scrip, i called in this morning, and it was ready, i just could not see going to my sisters dinner, without these damn pill's. a shame. someone said earler, if i'm not taking them, i feel like a 100 yr old man, take a couple of the pill's and feel like i can do anything. hope all are feeling better then me right now.
i'm thinking of you and sending positive energy your way. just hang in there. i just want you to know i'm thinking about you. i'm thinking about everybody. if anybody out there feels like i do right now, then we need all the support we can get. i love all of you and believe in you.
body mech, you'll be at the top of my "thinking of/praying for" list.
one day we will all be free.
hi there again. i know you are going through a lot of grief, with losing your loved one. the holiday's are the worse for me anyway, with all of other problems i have, trying to taper most of all, but i know a lot of people are worse off then me, when i was young it was the booze, didn't think i could face anything without it. i will be praying for you, that you will have a blessed thanksgiving, i know i have a lot to be thankful for, if i would accept that. thanks for reading this.
Hi everyone, I have a question. I have been taking vicodin for abuse and my back pain. Anyway i want off all drugs and I can't wait when i have that clarity of mind. Well my doc today gave me Oxycontin for my back. I have a bulging disc hitting a nerve, there is no permanent damage and it can be rectified so I am lucky. Anyway, i am out of vicodin. I have taken 2 oxy 10mgs. They have done nothing for me but they have made me not withdrawal like today. Is this a good temp WD drug for my vicodin habit? I dont feel high at all on the oxy.
I just don't understand the availability of the drugs discussed in this forum. I am sure everyone with addiction/withdrawal issues had most valid reasons for beginning the medications in question, but how is it that so many people legitimately obtain such quantities of these drugs for so long? I have experienced a few painful maladies and illnesses, and I tell you quite honestly, ninety percent of doctors and specialists I have encountered are so terribly cautious about prescribing anything effective that I have learned to live with a great deal of physical pain and the occasional illness that warrants treatment with drugs such as Vicodin. I had an abscessed tooth and four impacted wisdoms removed under general anesthesia in the hospital once, and had to beg twice for a decent painkiller that was not "extra-Strength Tylenol" (a poison in its own right) or Motrin. I had a severely pinched nerve in my back, daily pain for 15 years, never once was offered a pain med from the numerous physicians from whom I sought treatment. Yet my spouse can call his doctor with a complaint of a strained muscle in his leg, for instance, and here comes refill after refill of Percocet! (Which he can't stand to take because of the stomach upset). Same doctor for me----- once said, in regard to a raging strep throat infection, "Lets just hope you don't hurt for very long, take Ibuprofen."
I am truly curious about how so many patients recieve the amounts of potentially addictive medications that are discussed here in this forum. I am sincere about this curiousity----
My first post, I would like to hear people's accounts of how and why they obtained such quantities of these pain meds!
First time to the site...but wanted to put my thoughts in here.
I have been on pain medication and anxiety meds for over 5 years.
Surgeries are now at the #6 mark in 4 years.
I have been on Ultram (4 back pain), Zoloft (anxiety), Resperal and Resderal (sedative and anti-thinking, anxiety), Tylenol w/codeine (back pain), hydrocodine/Vicodin (back pain, crohn's),
Xanax (anxiety), skelaxin (back pain), prozac (depression), 6mp(crohn's), over the counter sleep aids, herbal homeopathic remedies, you name it....and I wanted to let you know how they affected me...as I think needs to be repointed out in this forum
that everyone is different in their reaction to medications or drugs and in their withdrawals...
1)Ultram ..... didn't do a damn thing for my pain, went off it
cold turkey, no side affects, except still had
2)Zoloft ..... gave me more energy in the morning but if only
taking a morning dose, the afternoons would come
crashing down, dead in my tracks by 4pm, ready for
3)Resperal/Resderal.... as a sleeping pill, best I have had, 20
minutes and I'm out 4-6 hours later wide away, no
residual affects, as an anti thinking med, it was
too good, I stopped over thinking at night, but I
couldn't find anything to think of either...
that was frustrating
4)Tylenol w/codeine....doesn't even phase me, like demoral, they
might as well just given me tylenol....however the
5)Hydrocodone/Vicodin...with my first surgery worked too well,
gave me halucinations and a foggy feeling, went
off that after 5 days and just took tylenol.
However with crohn's disease it actually helps
with the never ending internal pain and actually
slows down the diareah that can become
uncontrollable when crohn's is in full force.
6)Xanax........didn't want to take at all because I didn't think
I needed something for anxiety, but three weeks in
a hospital with no rest and everyone making alot
of noise, it got to me and I freaked out and had
to take it...today it calms my tremors but doesn't
help with nighttime anxiety
7)Skelaxin.....for back spasms....waste of money...unless to take
amounts exceeding the recommended dose, there is
no reason to waist money on it
8)Prozac.......God send...probably need to be reevaluated to a
higher dose (40mg is low end)...no psycotic
episodes, but when I don't take it...I'm in bed
9)6mp/purinethol...keeps the crohn's in remission, but makes you
lathargic and tired and hair falls out, so watch
10)over the counter sleep aids....they basically take off an edge
as I have used Ambien before but it only lasts 4
hours, so I tend to use more than directed with
the over the counter drugs. The best sleep aid
over the counter I can find is good
old fashion benedryl...but you can become ammune
to it when you might actually need it for alergy
This is me, I might be addicted to the vicodin, but have gone weeks without it, I notice when I am at an ideal weight (for me,
not for the doctors) that I don't need anything but the prozac and the xanax. Therefore it's rather easy to just come off the pain killers and other meds easily. But lack of sleep still is a problem...see I'm up at 4:26 am EST.
I just wanted to point out that everyone is definately different in the way they become addicted and how severely and how easily the can come off of any specific med. Is it mind over matter, sometimes I think, DEFINATELY. Other times, like my cronic back pain, I know it is truly physical and I may not have a choice.
But no one else in my family uses any of these meds, and each has a different tolerance level.
Good example...my mother takes two tylenol and two advil, ONLY on
the nights when her legs hurt and in 20 minutes she is out and has a good night sleep....wouldn't we all like to only need tylenol or advil to ease our pain and sleeplessness!!!!???
So look into yourself and see what your habits and reactions have been in the past and then consult your doctor...if you end
up with a bad relationship with a doctor because you have confided in them about your addiction and need of help, you have
a 'no bedside manner' doctor and need to find another. Is it
a pain in the butt, damn straight, I went through 5 to find the one I have, but he listens, he speaks straight up with me and he
tells me if I'm BSing him and I say the same to him. Some generations are brought up to NOT question the medical field, and I was one of them. If I had listened to one doctor tell me that the pain I was feeling in my gut was just inflamation and
didn't seek help 4 days later after being released from the hospital he practiced at, and ended up in the ER of another, I would have died NO DOUBT!!! I had two absess that had burst and
I was septic, it took hours in the OR and the surgeon who saved my life said in no uncertain terms "I was poorly treated".
Doctors are falable and they lie to, they don't want you to know more about your body then they do...but you do...so stand up and tell them....or find someone who is strong in their opinions and practice and is intent on listening to you!!! Otherwise you are
only hurting yourself.
Sorry for the soap box, but I mostly wanted to point out that everyone is different in how they react to meds and how they will
react to withdrawls...just like my mom with tylenol...who knew it
could put people to sleep!!! Certainly not I!
Hi there. I now have 2 friends with Crohn's Disease...one was diagnosed a couple weeks ago, and one has had it for years.
Both of them are on steroids, which has caused them weight gain and that "moon" face that is typical from taking them. One of them has taken percs for years for the pain.
My question is about your diet - do you have to totally avoid fruits and vegetables...any kind of fiberous food? One of my friends doesn't eat either, and I think it is very unhealthy...she says her doc told her she couldn't, but it seems like a crazy diet. Thanks.
you sound mean! are you being sincere? are you frustrated that you can't get medication that you need? or are you speaking to we addicts and medical professionals who have access to these drugs? I just didn't quite get your point. That the drugs are available is NOT the issue. People NEED pain medication. If someone is hurting and there is a pill or some other form of treatment that will help, then by gosh, there's nothing wrong with it. Don't get me wrong, I understand the seriousness of these drugs. But you need to understand, 90% of us take these meds because we are hurting. They ARE addictive and have put us in serious situations, no doubt. We all know that, that's why we are here on this forum. But, until you've walked a mile in our shoes, be careful not to be too harsh. Maybe I misunderstood your post. Either way, this walk is not an easy one. Love to everybody.
most of us here have had some kind of pain due to an operation
and were prescribed drugs for pain , we take them as prescribed
for certian length of time then , some of us biuld up an immunity and take more then prescribed, at some piont the dr, stopes prescribing in some cases and we find ourselves addicted and faceing withdrawls, i , myself was in this situation and could not afford to lose time from my job, so i turned to someone i knew who sold them to me on the sreet, the next thing you know a year goes by , and our addiction has become much worse and we continue to spiral out of controll. we wind up
spending money we do not have and our lives begin to fall apart.
we start to find some way to get out of the situation we find ourselves in, some of us start to look to get better , while
some of us look to find doctors that will prescribe more.
sometimes we are still in pain , other times we are just takeing the pills to escape the withdrawls.
we know at somepoint we have to change , but we find this change
hard to do, we are all at different stages of this road of addiction. for me , i have been clean for 8 months , i go to na meetings, i hang around with addicts who are clean . i also talk with addicts here at the fourm , and other fourms.
for those of us who continue to use drugs aginst our better judgement, this way of life is a life of desperate measures.
we find ourselves doctor hopping or in places we would rather not be , in the dreg's of society.
for most of us it is about facing the truth in our lives rather then running away from it. that is what it became for me , me running away from responsabilty, useing is a slow partisapation
in slowly killing one self.
In my excitement over finally getting off all of these damn pills I took it upon myself to do a quick taper. On Sunday I dumped all of my norcos execept for 15 which I was going to use until Friday. I managed to get an appointment that does detox with buprenorphine but they could not take me until then. Everything went great until Monday afternoon. Then, the all too familar stomach cramps, shakes, sweats and fatigue hit me. Dumping my pills was not the smartest thing I have ever done. I have a whole house full of people coming for thanksgiving and long list of things to do before then. I knew I had made a mistake. This was not a good time for a detox.
With absolutlely no other place to get pills on this short a notice, this afternoon I did something I have not done in over 20 years. I went to the local drug mart and bought a bottle of methadone. I managed to escape with my life and a 100mg dose. Of which I only wanted no more than 30 mg. I know that the last thing in the world I need is a methadone habit. I immediately dumped 2/3 of the bottle. I have been taking it by the smallest amounts that I can, which I am hoping is no more than 5-10 mg. It is only Tuesday and it won't last long if I gulp it.
So now instead of feeling totally shitty I only feel bad. At least I can get around without doubling over in cramps. I did all of this just to be "NORMAL" during the holiday.
Like I said, it Keeps Getting Better.
I am soooo sick of all this ****. I hope starting Friday I will be able to get a new start.
in an earlier post, i had said how hard the holidays would be for us. gosh, right now, with everything I've got going on and all, i'd have to lock myself away to be able to survive. in a way, i'm still in shock over the death of a dear loved one. thanksgiving and christmas --- i will miss him so much. i wonder sometimes what it's like to be normal. how do "regular" people cope and go day-to-day? i've really been struggling lately, i think more than ever before. i'm dreading the holidays. that's why i'll checking in here, though, it helps. i'm sure things will gett better for me, i just wish i could wake up one morning and not have a craving and feel "whole", you know? right now for me, this life sucks. working so very hard, travelling, busting my butt....UGH! but, i can still say that I LOVE YOU ALL and we can beat this stuff. LOVE AND PEACE TO YOU.
I thought I might ruffle some feathers and post my "scientific paper" which I am calling The One Dose Detox. Don't ask your doctor about this. No doctor in his right mind would ever recommend this as a treatment. You, the reader should think twice (or more) before doing this. The dangers of doing this I hope are obvious everyone. Including the possiblility of death by over dose. It is best saved for the "experienced" drug user. I myself have never done it, but I think it would work great.
In most patients, the worst withdrawal symptoms occur in the first 28 to 72 hours following their last dose. The long acting drug methadone may be appropriate to almost completely relieve these symptoms during that 24-72 hour period in a single dose.
Those using the drugs which are commonly called lortab, percocet, diaudid and oxycontin for 6 months or more at a level of 10-30 per day.
For every 1mg of of narcotic used in a single dosing, use 1mg of methadone. An example would be someone taking 5 10mg hydrocodone in a single dose would use a single dose of 50 mg of methadone. Do not exceed a dose of 80 mg unless you are prepared for the possiblity of slipping into a coma. Keep some narcon on hand just in case.
I suggest that you do this over the weekend starting on a Friday night. Wait until you are well into withdrawals. Then take your dose according to the formula above. You will probably nod and sleep all day Saturday night into early Sunday morning. That is fine since you would have been miserable anyway. On Monday morning most of the effects of the methadone will have worn off. You will no doubt get some withdrawal symptoms but the worst of it should be over. You can "tough out" the rest, which should not be too bad.
you don't ruffle my feathers. i just hope everybody will use their heads --- we all know if something like that would work or not. i've never had to go over 4-6 percocets a day, so i don't think that would be appropriate for me. but i know there are others with much more serious doses going on. i still think you are smart with a lot to offer. i just love your common sense. i know you aren't a doctor, but i wish more docs were like you. i do have some questions that i'd like to ask you, though. i'll email you if that's okay. thanks for hanging around.
i've been taking around 9 up to 12 vicodins a day for the past 6 months,lately i have been taking 4 percocets a day now,then yesterday and 3 days before that i was taking 1 codeine for those 4 days,i'm not too proud of this at all. my problem is that i love the pills,i dont want to stop but then again i kind of do,i think a lot of you know how i feel,my most hugest mistake of all is i have four capsules of oxycontin in my room i got today,one is 80mg and the three are 120's,i havent even looked at them twice since this after noone when i got them,i fuckin hate this,i dont want to die and my friends dont either,my family is clueless,all they think is that im still a big pothead who sits down in my room all day and smoke my pot,now its only every now and then that i pack up my bong a few times,its getting worse
I might be wrong but you sound young. You are beginning a journey into a bottomless pit. You have taken a huge step forward in recognizing that you have a problem. It is going to be difficult to deal with even if you start working on it today. Flushing your drugs down the toilet is a good start. If you can't do that, I am sorry to say; Welcome to the board. There is a line that you cross that goes from being a recreational drug user to a drug addict. Once you cross that line there is no going back. I think you are standing on the line right now.
I promise you, as I am sure everyone else on this board will promise you. Things will only get worse, much worse. There is still time to get off the merry go round.
everything will be okay. life will still go on. just BE CAREFUL. you aren't going to die. we understand your frustration and your feelings. you are not alone. we are all in the same boat. just be strong and use your brain. be realistic and use common sense. get your mind off things. watch a movie you like....read a good book...even do a crossword puzzle. i've learned that you just have to take it one day at a time. most of the time i find myself saying...i'll focus on today, i'll do good today, and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. don't beat yourself down or be too hard on yourself. you are precious and important. just use your head and read through all the posts here. this site will help you. stay in touch. you are important and you are loved. you are understood and you are not alone! love to you.
December 6th! Wow .... that would be impossible for me. I need more energy, not less. Two weeks before xmas. I'm glad that I tried to cut down on ultram. Today I had to take more because after 10 days I was getting worse! I was in too much pain to go get my free turkey at Shoprite.(smile) I have been using ultram exactly the way my doctor perscribed it. Actually .... I used 50 mil less, just because. I didn't try to get high. I was so happy to have energy and feel normal. I also take ambien for sleep. I also use prilosec for GI track problems. Those are my only meds. When I change to vicodin .... I will eliminate the ambien. Vikes help me sleep. I truly believe it will take me a month to get off ultram. I have taken it for 2 years. When I first took it .... it was easy to quit. (no lingering symptoms)But now it's different. I am going to try this new plan on or about January 20th. I have to get over the holidays ... take down the tree, the decorations and prepare to occupy the couch for a month. I also hope to start drinking alot more water. This effort will take all my concentration and committment. I want to set myself up to succeed. Slow and steady wins the race. After I quit vicodin .... (another 2 weeks or so) it should be around the beginning of March. At that point, I hope to be able to see how I really feel. That is ... if I can actually have a life without pain meds. At least I'll know. Before all this happened .... mornings were really tough. Very stiff and painful. I had to go right into the hot bath and I was always taking tylenol (which is bad for the liver) I can't use anything else because of my stomach. OK enough about me ... Now what's this about methadone? I think maybe you jump around too much dude ... stick with your doctor and take only what is necessary to manage the pain.
Then enjoy your life. The 12 step program eliminates compulsive obsessive behavior. It seems like we get high because we feel guilty and don't like ourselves .... then we feel even more guilty because we got high. And the cycle repeats itself. Only a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity ..... have a wonderful Thanksgiving ...... Goldie
I have to agree with Bodymechanic and SouthernBelle.
You are likely not going to die, but you are standing at the edge of a pit of quicksand. Movies targeted at the teen and twenty something crowd have told you "This is the American Way -nothing will happen to you - pills are the new age drugs - all the athletes use them". The quicksand looks like a swimming pool.
Do yourself a huge favor and do it right now. Go to the top of the page and look through the forum archives - take an hour or more. Look and try and feel the pain and utter helplessness of the people here who have gotten in and would now pay anything to get out. The truly scary thing is, some of them can't.
Marijuana is one thing, but when you step forward into these highly targeted and scientifically designed drugs, you are dealing with some serious power. and right now, you may be thinking you can deal with that power.
We I, and I believe everyone else here would say we are _powerless_, despite the fact that we originally believed like you - "I can keep it under control".
Carefully consider what you are about to do. I would say anything to keep you from crossing that line. We are all desperatly climbing out of the quicksand, and trying to keep others from stepping in unknowingly.
Use common sense. Why would you ever want to cross that line?
Take it from the experts - life utterly sucks on this side of the line.
Thanks bodymechanic. I have been lurking here since oct 2001. I have posted as well. I am well educated about the drugs. What I am trying to say is, that I am not getting any high off the oxycontin, but it has relieved the WD symptoms that would have started today from teh lack of vicodin. I know it's a step backwards in the sense its a much stronger drug. I have been on percocets many times, this is my first foray into oxycontin. What I am thinking is the oxys are longer lasting. They are only 10mgs. I am trying to equate to the half life of methadone for a short term period to help me with the drug withdrawal.
what did the doc give you? was it methadone? when you said he gave you something...what was it? it almost sounds unreal, that somebody could help you like that. that's great. i'm going to go back and read your post again.
ANYBODY UP OUT THERE? It's 4:40 est, CAN'T SLEEP!
I could not agree with you more. I see no point in making yourself miserable over the holidays. Since you are taking your medication as directed there is no reason for you to rush. When you are ready to detox look into buprenorphine. It may just be the christmas gift that you need most.
What is your Buprenex treatment going to consist of? Will you be taking it home, or will you have to go in to the office every day? Will it be shot or tablet? Are you going to use it for pain as well as detox...meaning are you going to keep taking it for pain after you detox?
i think everything sucks! haha
really, though, i'm trying to make light of it all. if i didn't do that, i'd be in a lot of trouble. i don't ever recall feeling so down and frustrated at the same time. guess i need to see a shrink. what are addictionologists like? are they helpful? what can i expect if i go see one?
i'm in miserable shape mentally and i can't see functioning without my pills. i need help.
hey belle, i hope you are feeling better, don't get to down
everything will be alright. try to live just for today.
enjoy your thanks giving, and your kids.
just try to take small steps in the right direction.
keep posting. and take it light.
Southernbelle It does get easier. I always look back on my time clean and realize how much happier I am. I am a slave to these things right now and I hate it. I wake up every morning in a sheer panic. I got 100 vicodin last week and instead of enjoying it. My mind just raced to how long it would last etc etc. It has consumed my life and I HATE it. In a previous post I told you guys i goyt oxycontin yesterday. Its the 10mgs and its kept me out of vicodin WD without making me high. At least I am getting the tylenol out of my system.
You silly girl I did not mean it as a derogatory comment to you, sheesh, I mean a sick person physically sick I was in no way replying you are sick mentally or physically so get a grip and lighten up! No one is attacking you, geta grip and have a happy Thanksgiving Love Badd
I have a story that I feel compelled to relay. For two years, I was addicted to all the opiates (vicodin, percocet, oxycontin etc.) On four different occasions I did the "cold turkey" thing. You all know the drill. Nausea, hot and cold chills, ghost legs, clammy skin, and the most frustrating of all-insomnia. The longest I lasted doing this was 12, 10, 9, and eight days. I was basically useless around the house and had already lost my job. I became a slave to these things and I skipped electric bills, car bills etc. just for the opportunity to feel normal. I was determined to take care of this on my own (tapering was always an interesting method--NOT). I did not want to go to a detox as I had the notion that I would be "flagged" forever on my insurance as well as the indignation of "letting the cat out of the bag" with my wife (she knew to a small degree but not to the extent it really was. Then having to tell my mother who had no idea. So, I surrendered and went to the emergency ward for a pre-screening. I was all prepared to enter a detox and told them I WAS NOT interested in methodone. After a couple of hours, my insurance informs me that they will only approve an aggresive outpatient program. Within 15 minutes, a doctor calls and wants me to come in immediately and do I have a sober person in the household. I reluctly agreed to drive in to brookline (boston suburb) and its about 9:30 at night. Oh, when I talked to him on the phone, I again stated I was not interested in methodone. He assures me that he is totally against it. I said, OK so what do your methods do, lessen the withdrawals to some extent? He tells me I will have NO WITHDRAWALS. Now, I'm skeptical as hell but we drove in. He waited for us and we went in. I sit down in a chair and he is studying me. Then, like some kind of medicine man, he starts giving me pills and breaking capsules into water. In a matter of 15 minutes, I felt like a new man. The next day I go to see him again, and the way it works is you sign in to see the doctor and there is a therapy group going on in the interim. He loaded me up with about 12 prescriptions and a clonidine patch. I saw him five straight days and along the way would eliminate certain prescriptions. Only two days did I feel slightly uncomfortable and was lethargic and had no energy for I would say around 10-12 days. Now it is slowly coming back and I'm starting to feel like I used to before the madness of being a slave to opiates. I had no hot/cold flashes, no nausea, and I slept everynight! The first 5-7 days I was pretty much just eating and sleeping. Ladies and Gentlmen, I had none of the withdrawals that I and you know all about. I also have NO desire to take any opiates. I have been opiate free for 24 days. You know, I look back at the four times I went cold turkey and I remember two theories that would drive me (a) willpower to overcome and (b) if you dance to the music, you have to pay the fiddler so you deserve to suffer. Simply put people, you need to treat medicine with medicine to rid your body of the toxins. As far as I'm concerned, this man is a genious. His name is Dr. Kishore and he is located in Brookline MA. He will return calls to anywhere in the country (I have a friend in LA who he has had 3 conversations with) She is coming in a couple of weeks for treatment. How is this for curious? One of the first things i said to him was "don't you want to know how many milligrams I was doing a day" (80-100) He said it did'nt matter and apparently with his approach, it does'nt. He is a compassionate addiction specialist. I owe my life to him! I hope this helps someone!God Bless
You have experienced the miracle of bupenorphine. That is the only drug which would have done what you described. Fortunately after many years of total bullshit the government and the FDA has finally approved this drug as a method of detox and addiction maintainance. You should thank god, he truely blessed you. You were in the right place at the right time. Many who either suffered, stayed addict, went to jail and died were not so lucky. Let's hope that your testamonial will serve as a sheild against further ignorance of the FDA and our government.
The time is long over due that the addict be treated with the same sense of urgency and dignity as anyone else who suffers from a chronic incurable disease.
Trying to do this yourself isn't hard - it impossible.
I agree with Michael - take it one day at a time. You may be feeling down because you're putting all your problems on the barbell and saying "Im lifting this all today".
Focus on today and think of all the great things God has given you. Don;t try to solve every little problem today, just concentrate on one thing. Repeat positive thoughts over and over to yourself and know that just being here asking for help means your are on the right road, and not wondering where that road is.
I _seem_ to be on the other side now, running downhill and feeling better with each day. If I can be there you can too. The key is, at least for me, was asking God for help and BELIEVING he wanted me off the meds. Because of last week I am scared to death of relapse and I hope I never completely forget that feeling. If you have that feeling today, just KNOW that with God's help it WILL pass.
thanks so much for your support. sometimes i just wish there were a hole in the ground that i could crawl into and never come out again. i'm miserable. things are okay, that's the crazy thing. my girls are just the best thing on this planet. my husband is my best friend and has always been supportive. he knows everything and doesn't judge me at all. i have a great job, the best i've ever had. i'm formally educated, go to church....i just feel so bitter right now. and I'm SOOOOO scared to withdraw. i'm so afraid of life without these pills. i swear, i'm better with them. i can function and think and work and everything else while i have them. why does it have to be this way????
I am going to do a 5 day detox with buprenx tablets. Then there is a 3 day period that I will be drug free. After that I am going to a doctor who uses buprenx tablets for pain. So far this is all I know. For some reason the three day period of being drug free scares me. It shouldn't. I have gone for years without taking a pill. But this time I know I will definately have pain and maybe some withdrawals. At least now there is hope with bupenorphine on the market. There was a time when life for the addict with a pain problem was hopeless or very near hopeless.
hey everyone,i cant find where my last post went so you probably dont know me just call me drodone(hydrocodone).
for the past 6-7 months i've been taking around 9 up to 12 vicodins everyday,and i dont see any sign of me getting off them too soon,but id kind of like to.i been snorting oxycontin for about 2 weeks now,and my parents are clueless they just think im the pothead i always was in my room down cellar smoking my weed all day,but ever since the oxycontin(not the vicodin) its only about 3-4 times a day i smoke a bowl or go out in the backyard and smoke a j with a friend,i'd love it to go back to the days where me and my friends sat down in my room passing around the bong,rolling blunts drinking a few beers every now and then,but now its totally different,all i am is a druggie now. but the only thing im happy about (besides when im on my pills obviously) is my friends are still there for me,they are constantly telling me to keep my nose clean and think about what is going to happen to me,i love my friends and i think they could be the biggest help of all,but i know im a fuckup,i gotta quit this ****.
I was having a really bad day as you could probably tell. I'm really sorry for taking it out on people here at the post. I had no right to do that and I feel really bad for anyone I offended espessially you, bodymechanic. I'm sorry for getting smart with you. I just love your posts. You are truly intelligent when it comes to addiction. I love reading your posts. It really helps me alot as I'm sure it does many people. I just wanted you to know that. The reason I havent posted in a few days is because I felt too guilty too write. I'm sooooo sorry.
Love to all and Happy Thankgiving..
I hope you are feeling better today. When I initially went and saw Dr. Kishore, I was sick and withdrawing. He sat me in a chair and seemed to study me. He then when into a wicker basket that had an array of medicine in it. He then gives me a pill and says to let it melt on my mouth. He gave me another one with the same instructions. He then got three different glasses of water and broke capsules and I drank each one. In a matter of 15-20 minutes, color to my face returned, no aches and was sleepy. We left, and I fell asleep on the ride home. I did not ask him what he was giving me as I did'nt care. I put myself completely in his hands. I had to return in the morning, sign in to see him (first come, first serve) and there was a therapy session in progress as we waited. I found it theuraputic and to be honest was stunned at the amount of young people there (Boston-big college town) that were all fighting oxycontin addiction. In my opinion, its a huge epidemic. Since I had to see him for five days (pee in a cup each time) straight, the meds he would fax into my pharmacy would be one or two day supplies. The co-pays are the same if you get 2 pills or 30, so it was frustrating from a cost standpoint as I spent about $500. But, I guess when you take into consideration that I could blow that in one whack buying opiates, it pales in comparison. Dr. Kishore is a man from India who went to Harvard. He became facinated with addictions and made it his specialty. Bodymechanic mentioned some drug called buprenorphine. I don't know what that is or does. Dr Kishore's philosophies on addiction seem to be twofold.
(1) get the bad toxins out of your body and (2) make your body well from the damage you have caused it. My wife would prepare the medicine for me and I would just take it. Around the 5th day, I was able to dispense my own. I went upstairs and got all the paperwork for what I was prescribed and the dates. The following meds were prescribed 11/03/2002-11/05/2002. (1) Neurontin 800mg (1 tablet every 8 hours) (2) Sonata 10mg (1 capsule at bedtime) (3)IC Quinine sulfate 260 mg (1 tablet twice daily) (4) prilosec 40mg capsule dr ast (1 capsule everyday) (5) IC clonidine hcl 0.1 mg (1 tablet 3 times a day) (6) IC Tramadol HCL 50mg tablet (1 tablet three times a day) (7)ic temazepam 30mg (1 tablet at bedtime) (8) ic dicyclomine 20mg (1 tablet 3 times a day) I also had a clonidine patch on during all of this. This was the critical stage of the process. For five days, all I did was sleep and eat BUT although uncomfortable at times, DID NOT have the withdrawals that we all know about. As the process moved along, he subtracted and added meds (1) zyrtec 1mg/ml syrup (2 teaspoons daily) (2)ic nabumetone 750mg (1 tablet every 8 hours) (3) ic baclofen 20mg tablet (1 tablet twice daily) (4) ic magnesium oxide 400mg tab (1 tablet once a day) (5) catapres tts 1 patch b-1 (the 2nd clonidine patch, they last a week). These were meds added to the above (this was at the 7 day interval)He eliminated the Sonata 10mg and the ic temazepam and replaced it with ic doxepin 25mg (1-2 capsules at bedtime) and ambien 10mg (1 tablet at bedtime)I saw him next at the 10 day interval and he prescribed (1) ic lisnopril hctz 12.5 tabs(1 tablet a day, my blood pressure was high and he feels the toxins leaving the body was the cause) (2) ic tizanidine hcl 4mg tablet (1 tablet at bedtime) (3) ic clonidine hcl 0.1mg tablet (1/2 a tablet 3 times a day. (4) Paxil Cr 25mg tablet (take 1 tablet every day, its an antidepressant) I then saw him a week later which was at the 17 day level, feeling as good as I have felt in years. I no longer am on the clonidine patch. I have four meds that I'm still taking: Neurontin 800mg, ic Lisinopril 12.5 tabs (1 tablet daily, blood pressure still high), Paxil and the ambien. I'll see him this coming Sunday and at that point I will have been off opiates for 28 days. Now I need to work on the mind as that has certainly been damaged. I was on opiates for two years and would literally pop pills first thing in the morning just to feel "normal" as the saying goes. Not being a slave to these things anymore,not stressing out finding enough to last periods of time is such a great feeling! I hope I did'nt bore you with this long letter. I'm also not suggesting that the medicines I mentioned are some kind of magic formula. I'm quite sure it varies from person to person. I can say with complete cetainty that it worked for me. For what it is worth, here is my opinion/belief on methodone. I firmly believe that going on methodone as a relief from opiates is a huge error. I simply don't have a high opinion of methodone. And now that I know that opiate addiction can be treated (Dr Kishore treats ALL addictions, including herion, crack etc..) my opinion is even lower. I have a friend who was doing something like 360mg of opiates. He is currently on methodone to feel "normal" and function accordingly. He is on 65mg a day. The theory of course is that they decrease you by 2mg every 10 days I think. When they went to drop him to 61mg, he did'nt feel right. He was sweating, lethargic, not "normal" My belief is the body builds a resistance to methodone like any other drug. I think that is why you have people going for years. And make no mistake, these places are cleaning up money wise. I think I've yapped enough Southernbelle. I'm new to this area and am an addict like everyone else. I find my mind just flowing with all kinds of thoughts. My email addy is ***@**** if you have any kind of questions or just want to drop a line. Take care, Mike
I live right where you live the suburbs of wash dc I live near frederick, I know places that can help you. The reason I don't get more is cause for one I am not going down into DC you never know what you will get and frankly I don't have the money, at one dollar per milligram its expensive. write me back baddgirl
Help Me! My addiction to Norco is out of control. I am taking 800MGs a day (80 pills + 26,000!! tylenol). I know, I know... I am killing myself. I have tried to taper a few times but it is so hard. I have backed it down temporarily to about 200-300mgs of hydro a day and I can feel the affects. I have talked to a Dr. I can sort of trust. She is willing to helop me but I think she is still wary of my overall goals (I would be too if I were her! She is dealing with an addict). With this level of addition am I facing dangerous results from going cold turkey? I have requested either bup. clonadine patch or both from my doc to help. I only have about 30 norco's left in my possession and that will not change for a week or so. I am in for some pain. I need to know the best solution! How do Meth. clinics work? Inpatient only? Can I get meth. on the street and do the detox myself? Hard to tell from where I am right now but I have an incredible sense of discipline usually.
Yes I do have a lot of self discipline. I kicked alcohol (4 martini's a night for 10 years) by simply making a promise to myself one night. I have been alcohol-less for over a year now except I can go out and drink in moderation (I even got drunk once on a trip with friends) but I come home and don't touch the stuff for months on end. I hear what you are saying, my statement sounds arrogent, full of denial and so so hypocritical! This love of those little pills has absolutely been my downfall!
The reason for so many a day is that I avsolutely LOVE the felling it gives me. It helps me deal with others, maintain a higher (happier) attitude), get mor works done and better motivation. It now takes 20-25 Norcos (10/35) for be to even get a little buzz. So if I want 3-4 buzzes per day then thst is 60-80 pills per day! It is amazing how quickly it adds up.
You asked where I was, I am in the Wash DC suburbs. Where are you? And what kind of help do you think you could provide? I am a prominant business official and for me to go public with this sort of problem in my life could be career-threatening. For the first time in my life I feel scared, humbled, alone and just trying to take it one day at a time. So far today only 10 pills which is like NOTHING for me!! I keep wondering why more people don't down as many as I do. It just seems so so easy!
80 pills a day. Geesh!! How long have you been on them? The most I have taken in a day is 12. I've never taken more than 4 at a time and you're taking between 60 and 80 a day. You've oviously been on these a very very long time to have to take 20 or 30 pills @ a time to get a buzz. I would seriously think of getting your liver and kidneys checked asap. You are going to do serious damage to them. Well, I'm almost certain you already have. I don't mean to scare you, but you need help right away. Are you getting these pills illegally or is your doc prescribing them for you. Cancer patients don't even take that much. I know because I have a father in law that's dying of cancer and he takes norco for the pain and he gets an excrusiating amount of pain. If you're taking 60 pills a day. THat means you're downing 2,940 pills a month. Do you have cronic pain? I just want to understand this. You have taken the first step though. Congratulations, now please get some medical help.
I have always had the "curse" of a high tolerance! I used to think it is "cool" but not any more.It took me about 6 months to go from a 5-10 pill a day max to abotu a 20 pill a day max. Let me also say that I have found 2 sources that supply me with 15/80 and 20/100 so during those RX's my Tylenol intake does take a dive for a short while. As I read all these posts I have though how the heck can these people derive ANY pleasure either recreational or medical from such small dosages for so long of a time!! It takes me so so much more to do the job! It is so discouraging looking at a brand new bottle of 90 10/325's and know it is only good for about 3-4 good "hits" which I could knock off in a day or two. I would love to be able to to take the opiates in the future to control pain *if* I was capable of being responsible, so far I have answered that question for myself and anyone else here... no I cannot be trusted! Very sad. As my RX's have allowed, I have fluctuated from as little as 20 a day to as much as 80 Norco. I am running really low right now and will probably be knocking back 8-12 a day then I will be OUT by about Tuesday. Sheesh, scary thought. I hope my post is not too long but I am trying to convey what got me here.
hey rex,thanks for asking and now that you did ask,i am pretty close to lowering my dosage and you people here make me feel a lot better,i have a lot more courage than i probably ever did,and i cant say im about to stop all together,but its not my choice,fighting it is
Well I must say you must have a high tolerance to go from 5 to 10 vics in 6 months. I've been on the vik's for a year and a half and the most I've needed to get the feeling is 4 pills @ a time. That's the 7.5 mg of hydro. Now you said you have 2 suppliers that you get the meds from. Are they legal doctors. The reason I ask is because they make vicoprofen. Maybe you should ask your doctor for that if your choice is going to be to taper. There's no way your doctor is prescribing you with 2000 some pills a month, right?? I'm tapering right now too. So we're in the same boat. We're all drug addicts trying to get clean. We will one day be happy w/out these damn pills I hope.
I have no problems posting my email address to you or anyone else, we are all here to help each other. Since we are neighbors maybe we can help each other, I am like pinkit it only takes me 3-4 7.5's to get me my good warm feeling and when I have a good supply I take them 3 times a day if not then twice dailey, Right now I have 3.5 vikes left that I will take around 5 or 6. I used to panic but I have back up meds, I have ultram, clonidine and klonopin and a few 10mg valium. They don't take waya the mental part but I know I will not be sick, I'm done, are you male or female(does not matter) just wondering anyway email me at ***@**** I hope you have peace within today Love Badd
hi all well i need help really bad and i hope you guys can,
I have a real bad habit on and off for about 1 year now and has become worse over the past 5 months, I started with maybe 2 percs a day and now im doing atleast 12 oxycodons 5mg each a day. and atleast 1 oxycotton 80mgs along with them at the end of the day. and sometimes even more. I have started breaking the capsules on the oxycodones and sniffing them. And then taking the pills too. What can i do to quit, I have tried to quit but get very bad cold sweats and pain like my skin hurts like a flu. I hope you can help thanks. Email me with any ideas .***@****