Withdrawal worse everytime

[dreamin]

I am wondering why physiologically withdrawal symptoms get worse everytime you go through them, I have severe cluster headaches and don't take norco all the time,  but when I need to take them when I am in a bad cycle, (a cycle can last anywhere from 3-5 days) I go through withdrawals, the bone pain, achiness, all of it.  I t didn't use to be this way, but now it happens everytime.  I would rather suffer the withdrawals then take them when I don't need to, but it is getting harder..can someone explain this to me?

[Jessinda]

I can only speak for me on why withdraws always got worse for me everytime I would quit. When I would quit every time, in which would only last no more than a month. Everytime I went back to the lorcet, I always would take more then the last time before I quit. Does that make since? So, of course when I would quit again, the withdraws were always worse. That's just how it was for me and hope that helps Hang in there Jessinda

[dreamin]

Thank you, that is exactly the information I was looking for.

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

I'm sorry to break in on this thread but it is actually on topic since I am withdrawing from hydrocodone (AGAIN)--it has been 72 hrs since my last pill and my emotions seem to be all over the place!  The physical pain (my neck especially) seems to be worse this time. I am taking advil which does help!  I am going back and forth as to whether or not to schedule an appointment with this addiction specialist that is ready to ship me off to an in-patient treatment facility (this was just after talking with me on the phone)--I feel really confused right now and I know its all part of the drugs leaving my system.  Staying clean and sober is more important to me than ever so I will stay the course and depend on the wonderful people here---Thanks for listening--This seems to be better therapy than a shrink! Peace/Prayers--N.O. Lady AKA Mystere

[Lostgirl]

I am sooo sorry that you have "fallen off the wagon and now the wagon train is running over you" as I put it.  I know the feeling.  This time I do have the option to taper which I hope helps.  But the biggest worry will be if I am strong enough do this "alone" as in doling out my own meds.  It would just seem so easy to say screw it!  I want to quit, I know that I should guit, but it is hard to quit!

Did you injure your neck or are the pains from WDs?  I broke my tail bone years ago and it has haunted me for years.  Sitting, standing or lying in one place too long sets it off.  It cant be fixed by surgery either.  AS for the arithtis in my hands, we only found that after I quit last time becuase it was masking the pain.  I work on a computer all day so this will be interesting to see were I will be this time.  My hands curl up and they dont have much dexterioty then.  My hopes are with you.

Email me if need to talk I check my computer all the time
***@****

[Lostgirl]

Oh yeah, forgot to tell you if you look further down this page you will see question about the drug you are asking about.  Hope this helps.  Click on it and ask your answers!

[Milo Redux]

First, my sympathy for your having those cluster headaches. I understand they make migraines seem like a walk in the park! My doctor told me that an effective treatment for cluster headaches is to be put on pure oxygen, I guess until the pain subsides. I have no idea why this would work -- maybe our forum MD can explain. Anyay, it would necessitate repeated trips to the ER, but it might relieve your pain and eliminate the withdrawal problem. As a felow headache sufferer, I wish you well, Milo

[Wardman]

Falan.....You really should sit down with your parents and discuss this project and let them help you with your search.  I just don't recall anything in 8th grade that would deal so specifically with a drug like fioronal.  Please, if you are wanting to experiment, don't!!   It really is not worth teh consequences.

[mystere]

Thanks for responding--I'm on my home computer that is why my nickname is Mystere and not N.O. Lady (My office computer)--I had neck surgery approx 12 years ago for 2 ruptured discs and they did what is called an anterior cervical fusion (took a bone graft from my hip to replace the discs)--Well the grafts didn't take and several docs have said I need more surgery--I can deal with the neck pain its the radicular (nerve pain) that igoes down my right arm that gets me! Some days I have no pain at all!
I am now 86 hrs since my last hydrocodone and I have to tell you I am feeling much better! I know I'll never be able to take narcotic pain meds again responsibly--Its a choice addict or getting my life back which is something I want desperately! This forum has saved my sanity more than once--If you need support this is the place to be! Thanks so much for caring Peace/Prayers Mystere/AKA N.O. Lady--Hang in there you CAN DO IT!!!

[peaz]

86 HOURS!!  WHOO HOO!!   Keep it up, Missy!!!   You sound like you're doing quite well.  Are ya sleeping at all?  Doin' the bath thing?  I read about your husband writing a note for you...He's comin' around, all right..  And each day he sees his "woman" returning more and more, he will be supporting you 110%...It will be a new beginning for you TWO--not just you!!  How cool is that?  And isn't that  wonderful incentive to stay clean?   I think you're doing great. take the money you would have spent in-patient and put it towards a get-away for you two in 6 months or so... Talk to you later...Love, Peazy

[Susie B]

Hi to everyone, first time to comment. I've never had any problem with any drugs, so I read all your comments as an outsider, but with much empathy. My husband had a very bad Perc. problem when I first met him (heroine and methadone before that), but for most of the 24 yrs we've been together, he's been relatively clean.  However, he fell of the wagon about 18 months ago-big time with Percocet and Oxycon. We felt CT would be the best way to go, as we have a business that he can't be away from. We're 3 weeks into this, and although we're past a lot of the real ugly stuff, I am very worried about his terrible depression and general disinterest in life. He's taking Prosac and a few helpers for sleep. We're on the Thomas recipe, but he just doesn't want to eat. Any suggestions? Although he's done this b-4, he says its much worse this time, but says no to MD help.

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

You can tell by my nickname I'm at work! How is my guardian angel?  Today I feel great!--I can't quite put my finger on it but I have never been this committed to remaining clean and sober! It was if all of those other times were sort of half hearted efforts!
Plus I never thought i would have the wonderful support from my husband!--Also I've been using the Thomas Recipe and I think one of the things that has made a tremendous amount of difference is the Wellbutrin (Anti-depressant)--I think one of the reasons I always relapsed was that I couldn't handle the hopeless depression--I have been sleeping although not the entire night but I seem to be handling it OK.  I can see the light at the end of this tunnel and it is getting brighter by the day!  I don't think I could have come this far without your love and support! Thanks so much Peazy and everyone else who has responded to my cries for help!  Peace and Prayers N.O. Lady AKA Mystere

[peaz]

That's a big 10-4 on the Welbutrin, buddy.......And since I quit smoking four months ago (Hold your applause....LOL) I definitely think it helps w/ those cravings, too. And no weight gain.  I'm on my way to the stars......:-)  Peazy-pie

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

You Go Girl--(Congrats on the quitting smoking)  I'm taking care of one addiction at a time. In fact my Gyn doc started me on the Wellbutrin to help me quit smoking--I never dreamed it would help so much with my withdrawals! 4 months smoke free is wonderful!  Keep it up!  Thanks for all your love and support!
N.O. Lady AKA Mystere

[Lostgirl]

I wonder if I can take Celexa and Welbutrin at the same time, in addiction to my tabs, like an idiot, I started to smoke again. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! LOL  Now, not only do I sit and watch tv all night, I chain smoke!  Atleast I was acommplishing some work before I statred smoking, now hardly any at all since I have the self imposed rule of only smoking at the fireplace, which by the way, is not close to the office at all.  

Second Day of tapering.  Feel anxious mostly, nothing besides the good old pain coming back.  Good Luck everyone.

[Falangeebro3]

I am an 8th grader and i needed some questions answered to finish a project. I was wondering what happens in your body when you take Fiorinal. Also what are the withdrawl symptoms. Answer ASAP please. I appreciate your help greatly.

[Lostgirl]

You might want to post your email ASK YOUR PARENTS FIRST!!!!! So that they can answer you directly.  That way you can get your answers faster.  Also there is another web page call
drugabuse.com.  You might find your answers there.  I would help but that is not my drug of choice.  Just remember:  JUST SAY NO!  How many times have you heard that.  Lots of people think that they can handle it, but it really handles you.  You might want to sit down with your parents and read some of these posts.  I only say with your parents becuase you might have some questions about stuff that you don't understand.

Good Luck on your project.

[Forum-M.D.-rcb]

Dear Dreamin:

I am not aware of any benefit from oxygen for cluster headache.  Ask your physician for some indomethacin, a non steroidal anti-inflammatory drug,  which has a unique property for helping cluster headaches. It is important to know that there can be gastric problems with this drug, so one must be careful in protracted usage.

[RobynBanks]

Please keep in mind that the 'Norco' may be CAUSING your cluster headaches. I was taking fiorinol & Percocets for over a year everyday and had previously NEVER had a migraine or cluster headache ever. Fot the last 4 months I would wake up with a migraine and would medicate myself 24/7. I has a migraine apon waking till bedtime. The only releif was sleep or taking meds (even so, they would only help for a couple hours).If I took too much medication, it would bring on a headache, If I took too little my headache would escalate. It has now been 4 days since I took a fiorinol (which my doctor dsays is notorious for rebound headaches) and 3 weeks since a percocet (though I AM on 24mg of methadone for narcotic addiction). I can confidently say that the Fiorinol and Percocet were CAUSING the excruciating headaches. In the last 4 days, I have only taken Naproxyn (prescription Ibuprophen).The headaches got worse at first but after the first 2 days, I stopped waking up with them and there would be more and more time between them. Its almost 12pm and I have not had a headache therefore have not needed any Naproxyn. This is revolutionary for me- I am not in constant pain causing me to be perpetually irritable. Maybe you should taper off the Norco and get some Naproxyn. Its a vicious cycle but you can break it and its SO worth it!
All the best, Robyn.

[Lostgirl]

In answer to your question to what fiorinal does to your system:  you get really bad leg cramps, you throw up for about 4 days, you have the runs for about 4 days, you can sleep and you heart will race, you will be sweating one minute and freezing the next minute and the the best part you will cry almost constantly for about 2 weeks!

If you have any more questions you should ask your DARE Officer or Health teacher!

Hope this answers your question!  

[vicoaddict]

I have been a vicodine addict for 4 years now.  I have been in recovery for 1 year with 4 relapses in that year. My withdrawals get worse each relapse. I know I took the vicoine/hydrocodone to excape feeling life.  I relapse when the feelings get to intense.  I was up to taking 6 vicodine/hydrocodone every 4 hours and I would chew them for a greater faster effect. I knew I was in trouble when I graduated to oxycoton.  The withdrawals were more than I could handle on my own and I had to get help.  I know now I am lucky to still be alive.  But I dream about vicodine/hydrocodone and still crave it everyday. But no more taking the easy way out of life.  Good luck to everyone.  Good to know I am not alone.

[Trying2Stop]

I have been reading this board for about an hour now and felt I could post here.  I am so desperately trying to get off vic/perc's.  It's been a little under a year since I started.  I started due to a back injury from a car accident.  Anyway, to make a long story short I so desperately want to get off these things...I have tried cold turkey but it is just so hard to do, so I am going to try cutting back.  I can't continue to live like this...I just can't.  I really would love to have a board I can post at and feel I am amongst friends.  I have 2 children, and one is only 2 years old, so it is very hard to quit...I have to be on top of my game all the time.  I keep reading about this Thomas recipe...can anyone tell me what that is...  I really want an need help.  I take about 4-6 vic/percs a day, if I have that many.  Today I had 1/2 of a 7.5 perc which I took a 6AM, but by 10AM I was hurting bad.  I was able to get some vic/5 so I am taking just enough for the pain to go away.  I know that I will have discomfort regardless of going cold turkey or weaning.  I really need help....Please

[gamzz]

hi just read some of your posts and i know where you are coming from,  i cant seem to stop no matter what i say or do, i just got my refill for my duragesic patch but i cant get it til the 1st of the month, i went to the drug store yeserday and they said it was to soon to get them and i had to wait three days  i was so upset cause all iwanted was to get them so i would not have to feel the pain any more.  i hate to say it but i will go and get my script on thursday even though i know that it is wrong and that i want to stop but i just cant go through the hell of withdrawl.  i dont want to do this **** anymore  i dont know what to do. i just want to feel normal  and the sad part is that i dont know what that feels like anymore . as many of you   the first thing i do in the morning before i even brush my teeth is get up to take whatever i may have at the time i feel like i need to take 2or3 vics to get in the shower.. and another thing is when i am out of my pills  people can tell the difference whether i look diff or act diff its ****** up...  just wish i never started to take anything.. my only hope right now is to get to see the dr. that prescribes the ( bup)  and i pray to god that, that is my only way out of this hell.  if anyone knows anything about that drug (bup) please let me know if it really works !  i sure hope so cause that is my only hope at this point. thanks for listening again  im really gald that i found this site it does help  me  thanks again bye for now   gamzz

[vicoaddict]

I know what you mean about not wanting to go through the withdrawal. It makes you feel like you just want to die but it does get easier. If I have vicodine its like I have to take it.  I can't stop the urge.  I take 5-6 at a time a chew them for a stronger affect and about two hours later I am taking them again.  I was clean for three months and I just relapsed a couple of days ago because the dentist gave me a prescription and I couldn't say no.  Once about three months ago I stole someone else precription at longs drugstore for 240 vicodine.  The bottle only lasted me 5 days.  That's when I know I needed to do something or this addiction was going to kill me. I met a woman once who's daughter was taking 20 vicodine a day.  Her daughter had a 2 year old and a new baby and one day her heart just stopped because of the vicodine.  It scares the hell out of me yet I still take it.  I have so much energy when I do, but I don't want to die.

[gamzz]

hi, i just read your post and i know what you mean and it does scare me to think that i could overdose and never see my kids again, but there is a part of me that just doesnt care anymore, i get so sick of the run around and all the bullshit that i go through sometimes to get pills buti still do it over and over again,  i know that i can honestly say that i want to quit but itis  just so hard to do it.   when i take  my pills it seems like  i get everything done that i have to do, i go to work, my house is clean, my kids are takin care of and  in a nut shell the pills make me feel like im a better person when i take them because i do what i have to do. when i dont have them is when  everything starts to  fall apart. im so confused i dont know whatdo to anymore.  i just wish i never ever started taking them, i just want my life  back the way it was before,  can it ever be?  i hope so not only for me butfor the rest of us !!
thanks for understanding... gamzz

[vicoaddict]

Its amazing how everything you just said seems to sum up my life addiction.  When the words come out of my mouth that I am gpoing to quit it never reaches my brain.  In the back of my mind I know if and when I have vicodine I will use.  So I try to make it accessable to me yet its still everywhere.  This week I reached an all time low I called in my own presription under my dentists name and I am scared to death I am going to end up in jail.  And all I keep thinking to myself is this isn't my life.  No one can even tell I'm still using and when I go through withdrawals I tell my husband I have the flu, because if he knew the truth I'm scared he would leave me.  So I take more pills to get rid of all these fears but all I really feel is out of control.  Does it eber end?

[vicoaddict]

Its amazing how everything you just said seems to sum up my life addiction.  When the words come out of my mouth that I am gpoing to quit it never reaches my brain.  In the back of my mind I know if and when I have vicodine I will use.  So I try to make it accessable to me yet its still everywhere.  This week I reached an all time low I called in my own presription under my dentists name and I am scared to death I am going to end up in jail.  And all I keep thinking to myself is this isn't my life.  No one can even tell I'm still using and when I go through withdrawals I tell my husband I have the flu, because if he knew the truth I'm scared he would leave me.  So I take more pills to get rid of all these fears but all I really feel is out of control.  Does it eber end?

[mystere]

Yes fortunately or unfortunately it will end and only YOU can determine how that end will come--I know the deperation you both feel-The shame-the utter hopelessness of it all!  Wanting to quit--fearing the withdrawal-willing to do almost anything to get your hands on some pills!  My life fell apart over 2 weeks ago because of those #@#@ing pills--My cries for help were posted all over this board!--The good news is that YOU CAN DO IT!
I was willing to endure 5-7 days of being extremely uncomfortable to have my life back--I promise that if you make the decision to quit you will be amazed at how quickly things improve in your life--If not there is a freight train headed straight for your door--especially if you are calling in scripts!
You DO NOT WANT to experience withdrawal from a jail cell! You both are in my prayers--please read the threads and post--it is wonderful therapy--Good luck we're pulling for you!Peace/Prayers-Mystere AKA N.O. Lady

Anne

[AmberHunter]

you just crossed a big line calling in your own script... that is scary, you can go to jail, it is serious...

i know too many people who have done time doing that girl... i am keeping my fingers crossed for you that you get away with it this one time but believe me, you won't get away with it forever...

you need to do something... i don't mean to be harsh, but i think the time is NOW for you to get serious about doing something about your pill problem...

you can email me at ***@**** if you want... i will do whatever i can to help you out, i feel that strongly about it... what you just did in calling in a script is not a good thing, i promise you... you are headed for bigger trouble than you can possibly imagine...

i hope to hear from you...

amber

[mystere]

Amber I couldn't have said it better myself!  Love ya Hon You are one of my many inspirations-Take care--Peace/Prayers Mystere AKA N.O. Lady

Anne

[get some]

hey folks, i am new to this site just finding it today. i knew i wasn't alone but never knew i had such company. i am a plumber and work on large jobs. i have been on lorcet since 1997. i also am on oxycontin. i am in the same boat as you folks and want off. i started tapering myself to 6 a day yesterday. it was the shits. i woke up at 1am and had to eventually take 3 10/650's to get back to sleep 3 hours later. i haven't had any oxycontin since sarurday and really don't miss them. it is the lorcet i am going to fight. there has to be something to help this feeling i am having thru the day and into the night. i haven't told my doc i am getting off in fear of him cutting me off completely. at the same time if there is something i could take to get off this **** i would do it. he has been my doc for years and would be more than understanding ... ( I HOPE ). this forum is very enlightening... i have the utmost in admiration for those of you who are on the backside of the **** sandwhich i am getting ready to eat.

[gamzz]

Hi,again to all, i just read the posts and all can say is that i understand what you mean about your husband and i do the same thing you do the funny thing is that all i seem to do anymore is lie not only to my boyfriend but to myself, i keep saying to myself " this time im gonna do it im gonna stop i have to after this script is gone" but it never seems to end  i just keep getting these  fuckin pills so i wont get sick  its not even the high for me anymore, its just so i wont feel like ****.  i just cant function in my everyday life without them. i think to myself " i cant go to work, i cant wash the clothes, i cant , i cant, i cant ... i just feel so lost and alone.  all i think about is PILLS and how to get them and from where im gonna get them and what dr. i can call next..even when i have a good supply of them i always think " what am i gonna do when these are gone"  it is no way to live ! thanks to everyone here i feel that im part of something that many many people are going through, it is monday night and all i can hope for is some sleep tonight... good luck again too all , vicoaddict i hope everything works out for you, and you dont get caught doing what you did, sadly i did something simalar to what you did,and i was scared to death that i wouldnt get caught. and i didnt  but i never did it again.. good luck to you  write back soon bye ..

[gamzz]

hi,  im kinda new to this forum as well about a week or so i found it and it does help to know that there are so many people going through this, and i know what you mean about talking to your dr. and telling him  the truth and how you feel, but like you  im fearful that if i tell him he will cut me off completly, so i understand..  my dr prescribes me the duragesic patch but instead of wearing them like im suppose to i eat them, and i get pills from other sources, i tried several times to cut down but it doesnt work ( at least for me ) so along with everyone else  i wonder what i will do ?  bye for now

[gamzz]

you havent posted in couple of days hope all is well with you. im still the same and not clean. but coming here everynight really helps and inspires me to do the right thing. QUIT

                                     peace

[vicoaddict]

Sorry I haven't been on er in a few days.  My sister is in town with her new baby boy.  He is only 6 months old.  I keep looking at him and thinking how nice it must be to just be starting out in this world and so happy and carefree.  I want to be like tat.  I am doing better.  I havent taken any vicodine in a week and have survived the withdrawals.  I feel so guilty and nervous about the things I have done lately.  but so far so good.  My husband told me yesterday thet he is leaving me at the end of the month for another woman and they are going to live together.  I am tryoing to stay away from the pills even though I am in so much emotional pain.  We have been together for 7 years and i don;t know how to be without him.  And I keep thinking what is wrong with me.  Obviosly I did something i he is turning to another woman.  I am scared of what the future holds and I am even more afraid that I am going to relapse because I don't want to feel the paain and heart break.  I am just going to take it minute by minute and do a lot of praying.  It alaways help to hear from everyone on here.  I really need the support.  thank you for listening.
Sincerely Vicoaddict

[peaz]

Hey Woman!!! Hang in there!!!  Jesus Christ what a slap in the face but DON'T USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO RELAPSE! PLEASE>>>>>> You are doing so well and this is FOR YOU. There is NO way you can adequately cope w/ everything that's going on in your life if you're all ****** up and in a fog. You will still have all the problems when  it comes time for that next dose.......STAY SOBER.
     Well, guess what? Small world--the exact SAME thing happened to me (many years ago, now) and we had been together about the SAME amount of time, too.  We had a baby girl, 2 years old at the time, so I was left to be a single mom, was battling a bone tumor w/ 4-5 subsequent surgeries, and in  2  casts, so work was out of the question.  All that **** is really neither here nor there----what I want to tell you is, and this is CRUCIAL that you understand this: THERE IS NOTHING YOU DID TO "DRIVE" HIM AWAY.  Your marriage is a two-way street, darlin', and it is never one person's fault.  In fact, you should avoid the words"fault" and "blame", because they serve no purpose in the end, anyway.  Sometimes **** just happens (hey--that would make a catchy phrase, wouldn't it??LOL)and there is NO WAY that anything you, alone, DID to cause this.  One more thing:  You will get throught this and find happiness again.  Your life isn't over.  But if you fall back into your addiction, you don't stand a chance of reclaming anything worthwhile.  You nne to keep up the ggod fight and keep you nose to the grindstone.

PLEASE don't be angry at me for barging into your life: lecturing and telling you do this; don't do that......I've BEEN THERE and I'm only trying to give you hope.  I wish you the very best, and if I can help you out in any way, please let me know.  Love--Peazy

[vicoaddict]

I appreciate everything you just said to me.  I feel so alone right now and it feels good to know someone understands what I am going through.  So far I have stayed away from the vicodine, but it is so tempting.  I have cried so much that my eyes a practically swelled shut.  Its hard not thinking that I did something.  He even had the nerve to tell me she's alot like me. I can't have kids and she can and has a daughter so I keeping thinking maybe that's why.  I just need to remeber I am a good person and don't deserve this.  There is someone out there who will treat me better and I can have a fresh start on life.  Thank you for your advice and understanding.  It means alot.

[vicoaddict]

Oops I meant my last entry to be to Peaz not Gamez.

[peaz]

Well, let's hope your husband isn't intentionally being an insensitive jerk by telling you his new babe is just like YOU, except for the fact that she can have kids.....You seem to know a lot about her.  Did you ask, or is he just being "sweet" and "sharing" w/ you??  Spare me......like you want to know ANYTHING about this Beyatch.  But, like I said yesterday, he had a hand in this affair, too.  So often we wives hate the other woman and forget to be as pissed or even MORE pissed at our own husbands.  Go figure....
     I'm so sorry to hear how sad you are, and the hurt you're feeling right now.  If you're not on an anti-depressant, I strongly suggest it, because you need all the help you can get in keeping a healthy morale and outlook.  Do you have family or friends that you can go to for support?  And does anyone know about your addiction and W/D so they can help you get past this trying and tempting time?  You need all the shoulders you can find right now, sweets, and if you don't have any available,  you can email me at  ***@**** and we can talk more privately.  I think sundara has posted to you up top, too, so we can both be there if you need us.  Hang in there, and KEEP POSTING AND DON'T PICK UP!!!  You've come too far to trash it all now....  Love, Peazy

[peaz]

I replied to your email but I think there was a routing error. Tell me if you got it or not.

[vicoaddict]

try resending it to this address ***@****

[AlexisInTx]

Sweetie, I just read about what your dh (ya know the acronym for 'dear husband', well I don't mean 'dear' when I use that acronym) has done.  I agree with everything Peazy said, so I don't have a lot left to say except to offer a shoulder to cry on if you want it.  Oh, and the self-blame game is so prevalent when this kind of thing happens -- but you didn't decide to leave him for another, so this is NOT YOUR FAULT.  And you shouldn't own it, he needs to.

I've been through some traumatic times with my hubby, but what you're going through requires some tough action on your part to protect your self-interests.  I think that getting a lawyer would be an important first step in regard to any assets you two have.  You have to protect yourself financially in these circumstances.  And get tested (you know) - it's highly unlikely you have any diseases, but getting all of your ducks in a row right now is so important (sorry to get graphic, I'm just concerned for you).

Dealing with the addiction aspect, man what a toughie.  You are doing so wonderfully with staying away from the Vic's - you're already through the physical part, it's the emotional part now to contend with, but YOU CAN DO IT.  If divorce is in the works right now (which it rarely is -- they usually end up coming back begging for forgiveness to which you promptly let them know that you're not a soft place for them to fall).  I'm really not trying to tell you what to do, just putting some stuff out there, so I apologize in advance if this comes across as harsh, but damn that pisses me off what he's done!  Going through  withdrawal and then having to deal with this.  But you WILL make it and come out a stronger person, I just know it.  It's the fact of, 'that which does not kill us makes us stronger' (what a unique phrase <insert sarcastic little facie.).

So I would say that you need to protect yourself financially, emotionally and separate from this guy and focus solely on yourself for awhile.  The idea of finding friends and family to be with you right now is a good one, but from the standpoint of leaving your home, it might not be in the best interest (legally - please consult with a good attorney).  I know it's easier said than done, but you know you have the comfort of us and others when you feel the need.  Big ((hugs)) to ya.

Alexis

[vicoaddict]

Thank you for the advice and support.  It has been really hard getting through this.  Today my husband tried to come back to me and tell me it would be different and not 30 minutes later he was arguing with me over something stupid and calling me a *****.  Going on and on about how he can't wait to get out of here.  Ever time I get my hopes up that things are going to change I fall harder.  It's like withdrawal each time its worse.  I used today and I felt so much worse after I came off the vicodine and now I feel weak.  I let myself down.  Feeling good for a couple of hours just wasn't worth it.

[peaz]

I will try and reroute your email---I hope I didn't delete it.  Damn, I hate technology sometimes!!
     Your husband is reacting to pangs of guilt, but of course his true colors are shing through.........Cry me a river, buddy.  If he is SERIOUS about getting your lives back together, he will go to counseling w/ you and truly make an effort. Oh, and did I mention quitting seeing the bimbo?? LOL  Anything less means his heart ain't in it, so don't fall for it.  He's trying to assuage his guilt, is all...
  You picked up and it's over and done so let's move on....Thank God you didn't find a lot of solace in that fact, it wasn't pleasurable, and that's great!!  Get your determination and head back together and call a lawyer, Like (Lisabet?) said.   Might as well salvage something from this, and it's be a shame to just forfeit it.....So you GO GIRL!! Be pro-active and try to be assertive.  It's hard when you feel so mentally (and physically) depleted, but try to summon up everything you can, because you usually don't get a second chance at diving divorce property.
   Again, I'll try and find that email or, HEY! how's about another one?? Thinking of you, babe--Peazy

[AlexisInTx]

I had a feeling he would do that.  And I think you're in for many of his ploys in the coming months -- and that's not to say that he doesn't love you, but that he's NOT worthy of your love in the way he's behaving.  There is never any excuse for an ongoing affair.  

I really, really think that protecting your financial interests (and yes, finding an Attorney) are so important right now.  And about the slip-up, hey, we have ALL been there so don't come down hard on yourself.  Just pick yourself up and start back where you were -- one slip up does not a relapse make.

I know you want this marriage to work.  You can't turn your switch from 'in love' to 'out of love' just with the snap of a finger, but your husband's actions are speaking volumes in re: to his character right now.  If he's not willing to break it off right now with the girlie, and go into intense counseling, and treat you with the utmost respect and 18 other things that would prove he were serious about the marriage, it's important that you find friends and family to turn to.  

And again, you have us whenever you need us.

Alexis

[vicoaddict]

You know what kills me is that he tells me he doesn't want to be married anymore because he doesn't want a committment anymore after 7 years yet he has been seeing this woman for a year and is moving in with her.  If that isn't a committment I don'tknow what is.  Plus she has a 9 year old daughter so its a even bigger committment.  I am so glad we don't have kids. I got my own bankk account today and got an attorney.  It is so hard to stay away from the vicodine.  I took 7 at once today and chewed them for greater affect.  iTs to late I am already in a full blown relapse trying desperatly to pull myself out. or am I?

[passenbyhubby]

I know you don't know me but my name is usally just passenby. I'm away from home right now  on my 3rd day of CT. I've been trying to keep up with everyones post.I've been reading yours and I hope you don't mind me butting in here .I was worried about that last post and it is late and not to many people on right now.I do want to say this and I hope I don't hurt your feeling but if your going to give in to the fight you have started because of the pain he his dealing you then he wins.Honey men like him are a dime a dozen you can find anyone to treat you like that. Beleive me I've kissed alot of frogs to get my prince.Let me tell you when you loose these guys you feel you just can't hurt anymore.I know been there got the T-shirt and I did have 2 children.All I can say is I got hook on vicodins when I lost my son a year and a half ago it help numb the pain in my heart.He was 25 and he OD on vicodin and I should be ashamed. I'm in pain can't sleep and I'm determand to do this and get my life back so come on Hon jump on in my boat I'll help you row    passenby I't just like being on adiet if you slip one day you just go on the next dayan TRY TRY again.

[peaz]

What a great post, passenby! There's a lot of wisdom there. Vico I hope you can regroup and get back in the saddle because you need to do this in order to get your life back on track---WITHOUT MR. *******.  Like Passenby said, there is a NICE guy out there for you, and it will happen. But you need to be clean and sober to make those good things in life come your way....  Please try and pitch your stash so you aren't tempted, and use spite for your husband to your advantage!!!!LOL  Hang in ther and keep posting. Love, Peazy

[lisabet]

Hi Peazy - been reading all your posts - can always count on you for support and consistency....I LOVE your bluntness, but the thing about you is your love and support shines through...I like the way you cut through the bullshit and get right to the heart of the matter....smile.  I've told ya before, but want to tell you again, you inspire me daily.  I've pasted several of your posts in my journal and read them every night.  Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you.  (OK..now that I've gave you the "big head", gonna sign off and go to bed...smile)  Love ya, peaz....Lisabet

[vicoaddict]

Thank you everyone for your straight forwardness and support.  I am trying to stay away from the vicodine but losing some days and winning others.  I haave been doing a lot of journaling and getting stronger in my fight.  I filed for divorce and feel good about my decision.  Thanks again all your words whether written to me or not make me feel not alone.

[islandgalveston]

hello, iam new 2 this and just reading about has taken me to a different leval,ive been on narco for 2 yrs.and got cut off by my docter,4 days ago talk about HELL!!!!the withdraws were a nightmare my birthday was friday and with out that damn narceo10!! i felt so lifeless. and to sleep at night was awful,the sweets the toss and turn the RLS. the bicth in me was evil,stinking thinking, i came close to getting them off the street. but i felt like ive climb a mounton and i;am 1/2 way there.and dont want to relive the fuckin hell.of 2 days ago.i still crave but to relaps scared me.

[hydro1205]

Hello, this is an old thread please go to medhelp.org, click on forums, then substance abuse and post a new question.  More people will be able to view and respond to your problem.