Worse feelings I've had

[Mike_B_]

I have been reading the posts where some of us have failed and just don't know how to restart.  I have been in so much pain and have tried so hard not to take the pain meds but I just can't do it.  I am seeing a new dr on Thur and if he says he can help with the pain I will really be releived.  My wife wants to go to the nuro with me but i am not sure if that's a good idea.  I don't want him to think she is enabling me.  But, she will be able to tell him about the pain i have suffered over the last almost 3 months weening off the meds and then failing because the pain was so bad.  I have really cut back from 3 10 mg opana er to only 2 5.500 hydrocodone a day but it is just not controling the pain i have.  I have checked out some short detox centers here where i live and one says you have a 5 to 7 day stay to detox.  You would think i could just stop with only 2 of these low dose ones but i just can't and my body is just telling me you can't do it.  I take the pill and my pain is eased a little but then i feel bad because i took it.  My wife says why deal with the pain, take the pill.  Any advice on the questions.

[wait2long]

This is going to have to be a personal decision i think you are really going to have to think about and then make your decision.  chronic pain is a tough thing to combat while also trying to stop the pain meds. ask yourself what your quality of life is like while in pain?  is the pain at a constant level? are there any non-addictive meds you could try to combat the pain? can your chronic pain be fixed through surgery, physical therapy..etc...? when you take your pain meds, are you taking them as prescribed?    can you live a somewhat normal life while in pain?  will your pain be life long?
these are things you will have to really think about and discuss with your family and doctor.  just my opinion though...
good luck to you...

[Mike_B_]

I have tried everything and the only thing that seems to work are the hydrocodone and i have taken them as prescribed over the last 4 years.  I was only taking 3 a day and then my dr wanted to put me on a entended release med that was a lot stronger and it really messed me up.  I was not able to get my work in order and was sleepy but could not sleep.  I went to my dr and told him i wanted to stop and see if i could take the pain.  He gave me some colodine to help but nothing to help me sleep.  When i told him I wanted to see a nurosurgeon he said they would have to control my pain from now on because he would not write me any more prescriptions.  Now i am taking just 2 a day to take the edge off because i have to work.  Thanks for your reply.

[wait2long]

did he refer you to a neurosurgeon? or did he refuse?
is surgery an option for you?

[worried878]

I have chronic pain/fusion to my neck as well...the narcotics just can not be a part of my pain mgt as i abuse them...if someone can take them as prescribed and they help your pain, i would be more apt to include them...i can not so it is out of the question for me...it is a very individual choice....my pain do will not prescribe many anyway...he is very cautious with them...i am ok with that as it is not in my best interest to take them

[wait2long]

worried878 - agreed, i cant either...no way could i be handed a bottle of pain meds of any kind and take them as prescribed...that is not an option for me either.

mike_B_  this is something you dont seem to have a problem with...but do keep in mind if you decide to continue with the meds, this CAN happen to you too.  soon your dose may not cut it for you in treating your pain, then your looking at an increase in dose...a lot of people here did start out this way, taking them as prescribed, so just another thing to keep in mind when making your decision...
good luck!!

[worried878]

And mike, dont mean to chime in, but it took 3 years of taking pain meds to get to the addiction phase of the process.....took over a year once i realized i was addicted to get out....my pain is really no worse than when i was on them..i hurt my neck at age 26 and never used pain meds for mgt until i was in my 40s...one day a doc handed them to me and off i went into never never land...i had taken them periodically for surgeries and such over the years and never even liked them...they can grab you when u least expect it....i would be careful and do much research before including them in a long term plan of care for pain...they were not designed to be used long term/for acute pain only...the tolerence and addictive properties make them unacceptable for most to use long term...good luck and do make an informed decision

[Mike_B_]

I appreciate your kind words and advice.  I told my doctor after he changed me to a stronger medication that it was too strong and i thought it might be best if i just quit for a couple of weeks and see if i could handle the pain.  When i realized that the pain was really getting me down and i could not function i had 2 friends that are anesthesiologist and they recommended that I should see a nurosurgeon, and gave me a name of one they thought would be good.  But, I had to get a referral from my doc to see them.  He would not see me without one even though my insurance did not require a referral.  I think it made my md mad because i wanted to see if there was anything else that could be done to help with the pain. So he told me the nuro would have to manage my pain going forward.  So I am nervous about going to see him not knowing what he is going to do but, i am just to the point where i want to stop taking these pills to control the pain.  I never took more than what he prescribed and sometime took less.  I am just not sure i can control the pain long enough to stop on my own and I have had heart surgery 3 times and my heart just gets to racing so hard during the days i did not take anything that it scared me.  I wanted to go in the hospital and get off them that way but my MD said that they won't let you do that you have to go to a rehab center and he said i did not need to do that so here i am trying to stop but not knowing how because of the pain in my back.  My ortho doc did some tests last year and told me there is nothing that can be done its just something i have to learn to live with and control it with the meds.  

I even bought an inversion table thinking that may help but my problem is bone spurs and scar tissue from surgery i had years ago that is affecting my facet joints and the injections did not help.  I even have a bone spurs in my feet now and they hurt too.  Sorry for the long post.

[worried878]

.that is what the forum is for...to post however you feel...it is good that you can stick to your prescribed dose....i would want to get tho the root of the problem as well...for me...i am just at the best point that I can be...neck surgery was a mistake for me...but it helps people too...but when u r in pain, you will try just about anything to "Fix it"  I have come to the conclusion that I can not fix this and no one else can either...some things in life just are not "fixable" and it took me many years to come to terms with this simple fact...there is a certain amount of depression that comes with chronic pain as well ..and fatigue...it is no wonder i became addicted...I have accepted my limitations as best as I can...I was a fitness instructor when I hurt my back...very active and still am to the best  of my ability...one of my limitations is that I cant take pain meds either...i screwed that option up for myself...work with your doctor and try to come up with a plan...everyone is different...and the quality of life is important...perhaps if you could try some non-addictive approaches ...narcotics when flare-ups occur..if you are addicted already then narcotic use is not as advisable...narcotics can ruin the qulaity of your life worse than the pain can...there is a fine line...rambling but i guess i can relate having been in pain for as long as i can remember...sorry

[Mike_B_]

I've been taking different things for about 4 years.  My doc would change me from one thing to the other when the hydro was working for me ok.  I still had the pain but i was able to deal with it.  I was taking 3 a day of the 7.500 and now i am taking 2 of the 5.500 which aren't working as well for me.  You would think with the small amount you would just be able to stop but my back pain just wears me out. and I can't sleep.  I think that is the worse part not sleeping.  I ordered the amino acids off the internet and they came today so i guess i will try again and see if they help.  Who knows which one helps with sleep?

[worried878]

Theanine is the one that makes me sleepy...i only will take that one at night...try 200 mg a couple of hours before bed

[enemy48]

Hi Mike~

     I read your post, but didn't read everyone's responses because I'd like to shed some light on you w/what happened w/me.  

     I too lived in chronic pain.  For 6 years I took medication, and of course more & more.  A RN told me once that sometimes pain medication can make your brain think that your have more pain than what you really do.  A lot of people here would agree with me, and maybe some not.

     When I detoxed (the last time) I went through holy hell w/the pain.  The pain is what always drove me to relapse more than the horrible withdrawals.

     I can still remember the worst days of all.  They were day 7 & 8, and 15 & 16.  I rode it out and would like for you to know that the pain I now have is not even enough to talk about.  I can't believe how many pills I'd put in my mouth for almost nothing.

     I now know that the brain tricks you into thinking that you have more than what you really do.  I'm not saying that people here don't have real pain.  It's real.  Some worse than others.

     If you could please just try to give it a chance you may find that what you're going through is not as bad as your body feels it is.

     I wish you luck, and understand why your wife tells you to take the meds instead of suffering.  Part of the withdrawal process is major pain.  And I mean MAJOR!

     Best Wishes.

[lostsoul2]

If you can take your meds as prescribed and you feel they are helping you, then you should do what you feel is necessary.  I, like many here, started off that way but quickly started abusing.  I can't control my intake.  It becomes an addiction quickly for me.  And I think I was telling everyone how much pain I was in to justify to everybody else that I needed more.  After being off them for a month now my pain is no worse, but actually more manageable.  I am more active in the physical side that is stressed during treatment.  My body feels stronger and looser.  But that's me, and while I do have legitamate pain, narcotics become a whole new problem for me, so I just can't take without abusing.  But if you can, you shouldn't deny yourself what you feel may help you.  Just be careful.  You don't want the baggage that comes with addiction to these things.  Trust me.

[Mike_B_]

Thanks for the comment.  I agree with you.  That is why i met with my doc and told him i wanted to stop taking it for a couple of weeks to see if i could handle the pain.  He gave me some colodine for my blood pressure to control the shakes.  I went through all of that about 6 weeks ago.  He had changed me to 10 opana er which was way to strong for me and that is why i wanted to stop.  After about 4 weeks of weening off that i have gone 4 days without about 3 times in the last few weeks but i am hurting so bad i cannot function.  

I went and picked up a myelogram i had last year and when i look at the films and the report i can see why the ortho said there is nothing that can be done because i have already had so much surgery that if they operated to remove the scar tissue around my spine and joints it could be a lot worse afterwards.  I am kind of between a rock and a hard place, or a catch 22.  I have some nurses that i have done some work for and they told me, if you go to a nurosurgeon he will operate that's what they do.  And you know doctors they are like lawyers they will take on God for a fee.  My Dad died last year from back surgery and that scares me even more.