Worst feeling in the world

[Beawileflower]

I am currently addicted to hydrocodone for about a year now at different mg and doses a day. I currently found out I am 8 weeks pregnant. I tried to quit and then I tried to cut back but seeing and feeling how my body feels I am scared I'm putting that stress on my baby and it will go through the withdrawal period while in my tummy and cause a miscarriage. I don't want my baby to feel this way. My dad took me off his insurance so I currently am having to apply for medicade because well that's the only option I have. I haven't heard anything back from them but I have yet to go to a ob I went to a free clinic to have a free sonogram done. I honestly stress and beat myself up so much for this because I never ever ever thought I would do to this baby what my mom did to me and put a baby I have started to grow to protect and nurture the way I do and put it through so much danger. I would really appreciate it if no one commented with hate or their "I'm better than you" attitude because you will not be able to tell me anything I haven't already drilled into my head already. I already feel like such a ****** mother because I can't even stop taking a stupid pain pill for my precious baby. I just need advice I think I'm going to lose it.

[newoutlook12]

Yeah I know its very very hard, have u been to an ob doctor yet? When you go u should be honest with him about what you have been doing!  I know that's probably the last thing you want to have to do but that's really what's gonna be good for your baby,  and don't worry they see this a lot more than you think.  That way he could tell u the safest way to ween off or he might put u on subutext or something like that,  is that something you would consider?  And remember if you don't tell anyone they test all babies that are born now days for drugs and anything you do after 20 weeks will be in the baby's system.  Trust me it would be much better to be up front about it instead of them finding out later, as long as u are honest and trying to do whats right for the baby I really doubt that cps would be contacted. But if u aren't honest they will for sure if they baby tests positive for anything sorry not trying to scare you just being honest so u can figure out what to do sooner rather than later.  Hope this helps I been though this before so if there is anything you want to know just ask no matter what it is I know how confusing this is and how bad you struggle in your head about what's gonna happen.

[Beawileflower]

Well I used to get half of however many me and my fiancé bought but I asked him to help me cut back at most I would say 6 day and I snort them half at a time. I really appreciate you talking to me about this. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to watch my baby suffer when it's born. I just don't know what to do. I tried to only do half a day but I just love hydros so freakishly much. I don't know how to control myself and I don't have a doctor to help with this. It's just hard.

[newoutlook12]

Hope this helps u in some way do u have anything u would like to ask or talk about it so I'm here and cant relate wkl to well hope u get back to me so I can at least ease your mind your baby will be fine

[newoutlook12]

Hi hun hang in there u are not a horrible person u didn't plan on becoming an addict, trust me it can happen to the best of us. I been there myself only way worse I was on herion trying to get clean at the time but hadnt been doing so great. But as soon as I found out I stopped all of that but because I was on suboxin they made me stay on it my whole pregnancy.  So it is not a very good idea for u to just try to come off of that being pregnant.  How much are u doing or taking a dqy if u don't mindme asking?  And dont worry u can always be completely honest with me I could never judge u girl I've walked way more than a mile in your shoes!