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Wow...today is 38 days!!! And feeling amazing...

I can't believe today is 38 days! And I can't believe how amazing and free and just completely normal I feel! I have energy, my head feels normal, I get a little bit emotional still, like I cry at stupid things, like commercials and stuff (not full blown cry, but teary eyed), and I still get worn out a little faster, but I think that I get worn out like "normal" people do :)...as far as aftercare, there are a couple people on here who ask me questions about aftercare alot, and when I answer, they don't answer or read it, so they keep asking me...my fiancee is in an alcohol program that is court ordered because he is on probation, and he graduates from that program in a couple weeks...He has to do 6 months of aftercare (in AA or NA), so I am going to wait for him to graduate and we are going to attend aftercare together. I think if I go with him, then he will start having an attitude different than the one he has (where he is ONLY going because it is court ordered, not because he thinks/knows he has a problem. If he could get away with drinking in this program, he would, and that is why he keeps getting arrested for probation violation. So, if we do the aftercare together, and he sees that I am going because I am acknowledging the fact that it will help me, maybe he will have a different outlook on things. I am NOT ready to do the aftercare thing by myself or at all right now, and when I am ready, then I will do it. Each person is different in their recovery, although we are the same, and goes about it a little bit differently. I have researched the AA/NA meetings online, and I sat in on an online NA meeting earlier this week, I didn't say anything, I just read and listened to others, and I'm not sure that that particular group for me as per my beliefs. Anyway, I'm super proud of myself that I have made it this far, and I am a very strong willed, independent woman, as I'm sure many of you are, I truly believe that (other than God), there is no greater power than the power of ones own mind!
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Avatar universal
That's so awesome congrats
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey girl, congrats on 38 days.I agree 1000% with Motye. I know it's hard to hear and I know we seem hardcore to you but like Motye wrote, I've seen it over and over. Even if its uncomfortable and you're annoyed, will you consider what Motye wrote? Just think about it. I wish you nothing but success and long term sobriety!!!
Helpful - 0
9128404 tn?1418270616
So very very happy for you!!! Gives me hope. Thanks for sharing. I am on day 10 CT. My mind is my worst enemy. God Bless you!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Just tell your mind to shut up, and that you are more powerful than the stupid little pills hahaha!! You're very welcome. I'm glad that my posts help.
Avatar universal
Congrats on 38 Days : )
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1 Comments
Thank you! Time sure does fly, even when it's not so fun lol. I looked at my ticker today and I couldn't believe that it had been 38 days!
7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
You have every right to be super proud of yourself...38 days for us addicts is a milestone, for sure.  Be very proud of yourself!  However.......lol.....
I don't think it's that people arent' reading what your writing about aftercare....they're reading it, as I just did.  We just happen to know that it's very hard to stay clean without aftercare!  And hearing that your more concerned with your boyfriend/ husbands sobriety over your own is a little troubling.  You need to concern yourself with YOU right now...his recovery is his recovery...and not yours.  Not trying to sound harsh, but I know many people, in relationships with addicts, where they get clean for a little bit they want to save everyone around them.  
This is just my opinion...nothing more....but if I didn't see it over, and over, and over, and over.....I wouldn't have formed this opinion!
Good luck to you....
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
I'm not really more worried about his sobriety than mine (although, him staying sober from drinking is very important to me. He gets very aggressive and mean don't want to say too much when he drinks and I dont want my baby to see that), I'm just ready for the aftercare yet. I want to do it with him. It will help me to have him there with me, and I want to do it together with him. He won't take his as seriously as I will, but that is just how I want to do it. I definitely don't want to relapse, and I appreciate all of you guys here on MH and the advise you give and the support that I get. It's very important to me. I need to find a group that is the right fit for me (for aftercare), and I don't think I want it to be in my own town. I work in the next town from mine, so I'm thinking about doing a meeting around here somewhere to check it out. They have different groups. I wasn't too fond of the online NA meeting though. I thought I would like it better than going to a meeting because I wouldn't have to sit face to face with anyone, but it was strange and despondent.  
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