I can't believe today is 38 days! And I can't believe how amazing and free and just completely normal I feel! I have energy, my head feels normal, I get a little bit emotional still, like I cry at stupid things, like commercials and stuff (not full blown cry, but teary eyed), and I still get worn out a little faster, but I think that I get worn out like "normal" people do :)...as far as aftercare, there are a couple people on here who ask me questions about aftercare alot, and when I answer, they don't answer or read it, so they keep asking me...my fiancee is in an alcohol program that is court ordered because he is on probation, and he graduates from that program in a couple weeks...He has to do 6 months of aftercare (in AA or NA), so I am going to wait for him to graduate and we are going to attend aftercare together. I think if I go with him, then he will start having an attitude different than the one he has (where he is ONLY going because it is court ordered, not because he thinks/knows he has a problem. If he could get away with drinking in this program, he would, and that is why he keeps getting arrested for probation violation. So, if we do the aftercare together, and he sees that I am going because I am acknowledging the fact that it will help me, maybe he will have a different outlook on things. I am NOT ready to do the aftercare thing by myself or at all right now, and when I am ready, then I will do it. Each person is different in their recovery, although we are the same, and goes about it a little bit differently. I have researched the AA/NA meetings online, and I sat in on an online NA meeting earlier this week, I didn't say anything, I just read and listened to others, and I'm not sure that that particular group for me as per my beliefs. Anyway, I'm super proud of myself that I have made it this far, and I am a very strong willed, independent woman, as I'm sure many of you are, I truly believe that (other than God), there is no greater power than the power of ones own mind!