Young, Successful Woman... with 4 Year Percocet Addiction. Help?

My story starts the same as everyone else's... I was given a pain medication (Vicodin) when I was 18 because I shattered my pelvis. At first I refused the pain medication, as I was afraid of how it would make me feel. After 48 hours of pain, I made the worst mistake I've ever made, and I took one of the Vicodin. I had never known a more wonderful feeling.

That was 4 years ago, and my habit has escalated to the point where I now take around 8 5mg percocets a day. I have tried and disliked alcohol and marijuana and have never tried any other drugs. But of course, I love opiates, the worst of them all. I've known I was an addict for a long time, but what did I care? I successfully finished school, started my career, fell in love. So what if I was lying to every doctor in town to get more and more drugs, right? God, how wrong was I...

I tried to clean up once before. Just over a year ago, I called it quits, flushed my stash and tore up any prescriptions I still had leftover. I stayed sober for 5 1/2 months, until a fractured arm landed me back in the ER. They gave me 15 vicodin and recommended I take one along with advil every 4 hours for a few days. I thought, what the hell? It's only 15 pills. Once they're gone, it's over. I took two. I didn't feel anything. I laughed at how hilarious it was that I was hooked on these damn pills for so long when they didn't even do anything anymore. And then, in the second worse mistake I've ever made, I took a third one. And suddenly, I was on cloud 9. The pattern started again, getting me to where I am now: 40 mg of Oxycodone a day.

Last night at 6PM was the last time I took a percocet. I am DONE. They're all gone, and I am cancelling all of my doctors appointments first thing Monday morning. I'm telling them I'm all better and I don't ever want meds again. Because all I want is to be free! Today has been hell, of course, but I am so determined. So this is what I want to know:

1. For a person who has been taking Vicodin and Percocet for 4 years, how long until I stop feeling like completely crap and start feeling like a human being again?

2. If anyone has ever overcame a similar or worse narcotic addiction, can you please tell me your success story? I need to hear one so badly. I've been searching for an hour and keep finding people like myself, on day one or two or three, and while it's amazing that so many of us are trying to stop - I just need to hear that it's possible. Anyone?

3. Once the physical withdrawals end... will I ever find happiness again? Or have they really screwed my brain up to the point that I will never be able to be happy without them? I'm not asking if the cravings go away, I don't expect them to. But I just want to know if I have a shot at happiness without drugs.

So glad there is a community like this. It's amazing to know I'm not alone.

-Lynn553

[dominosarah]

Hi Lynn, I am sara, a recovering addict.  I came here in April of 2008, i was broken and beaten down but i had made a decision to get off the meds and that is what i did.  I had 2 choices, either live or die.  I went cold turkey when i stopped.  I was taking enough pills everyday to kill an elephant.  Wd's were not pleasant but something i needed to do to rid my body and let it heal both inside and out.  Make sure you drink plenty of fluids during this time and get up and move around as much as you can.  Sleep and energy will be the hardest to get thru but you will do it.  You said you were going to tell your doctor and that is the first step.  Cutting off our supplier is most important.  We have to hold ourselves accountable for our actions.  You wondered about having a life again...You will have a life that was even better than before.  Living life free of drugs is a very awesome feeling.  Not being chained to a bottle of pills is very liberating.  The sky is the limit.  Keep talking to us here.  There will be more coming on in the morning.  I am so glad you found us~~sara

[candy_17]

Lynn, first thank you for sharing your story. I'm new here as well but I like you was determined to quit cold turkey. I'm on day 14!! Whoohoo!! My fiancee is on day 26!! I know these aren't very long recovery times but to an addict that can't imagine going longer than 6 hrs without a pill I'm super excited about 14 days!! I was addicted to benzos, my boyfriend was on pain pills, then methadone, then sub before he quit cold turkey and detoxed. Like I said its been 26 days for him and he began to feel better in like 10 days from the major withdrawls. Still not completely over the restless legs or sweats and not able to sleep well but I promise you it does get better everyday and unfortunately time takes time but there are many sucess stories and I know you're going to hear them and be encouraged, don't give up you can do this and you'll have your own sucess story. I'm very proud of you and wish you the best.

[allmymarbles]

For fear that people will be misled I should make a comment here. It is only the occasional person who, having taken opiates for pain, becomes addicted. Usually it only happens to an addictive personality. Many people are afraid to take pain killers because they fear addiction and therefore suffer needlessly.

You are one of those unfortunates whose addiction is revealed by treating pain. Yes, get off this stuff as soon as possible before it ruins what appears to be a successful life.

[Norco1947]

That's BS     {{  It is only the occasional person who, having taken opiates for pain, becomes addicted.}} ,
Don't care who you are . read the 100's of posts .
Take pain pill over a few days and your going to get addicted . Need them for a month or 2 and longer and you will be here asking for help soon. No mater who you are .  

[Fireby29]

Hi Lynn,

Congrats on taking the big leap for yourself.  There are a couple of things I would point out, that you should consider.  Red flag yourself with your doctor, pharmacies, and dentist.  Tell your family and/or close friends.  It is important to have folks looking out for you that understand, and both of these things protect you if you ever get weak.  I know for me, it was terrible hard to embarrass myself to the pharmacy for example, but I feel so good now knowing that I flat cannot get any pills because I am flagged as a narc addict.

The hydro was my drug of choice also, and I had a long love affair with it as you have.  What I can tell you is that we do really screw our brains up on this stuff, but that they can, and will heal.  It does take serious time though.  I decided to get clean back in March, had a relapse in June for a few days, made the last necessary ste to cut ALL supply (sick parents) and have been clean for almost 90 days again.  I feel SO much better then I did back in March, so feel encouraged.  I was using roughly the same amount as you, just hydro instead of oxy.....oxy is just a wee stronger.

Keep us posted on how you are doing, and do not forget the Thomas Reciepe at the lower right of the page.  It does wonders.  Eat right, exercise and a good protein shake are also crucial to getting your brain healed once the acute detox ends.

Byan

[Free2agoodhome]

Hi Lynn,,,

Who cares how ya got here,,,,you wouldn't be here if you could manage both your life and a life of prescription opiates,,,

You're not alone ,,,all out stories start basically the same.....I was like you...had no clue what the stuff was,,,,after my knee surgery,,,took some and was instanty in love with the little white pill which after 20 minutes put my life in High def mode...and I loved everyone,,,,,  lol....

if you have time read old posts,,,,theres a lot of wisdom in there from a lot of people.....

rooting for ya,,,,,,,,,,,,,,there is a way out,,,,


Free~

[allmymarbles]

This forum is not representative because it serves those who are addicted, not those who are not addicted. In one's lifetime there are occasions when one takes pain medication. If everyone were susceptible to addiction there would be a much greater problem then this country already has.

A little more than a year agoI was in an accident and in hospital and rehab for two months. During that period  I was on opiates for serious pain. After returning home my dosages was reduced but still fairly high, but when the pain abated I stopped taking the drugs. If I did not become addicted it stands to reason that others did not as well. I brought this question up with my doctors because I was concerned I might get hooked. They dismissed that idea. They said I did not have an addictive personality. I guess I am a lucky person.

By the way, the drugs never put me on cloud nine as it did you; they merely removed the pain and let me feel normal. Perhaps it is that difference that could be investigated as a contributing factor in addiction.

[sara752]

you r going to have about 1 wk of wd..each day after day 3 or 4 u should start feeling better ..sleep 4 me was the last to return..i am on day 21 from opiate add. 4 yrs also...i finally after 3 relapses decided to give na a real try this time.  best dam decision i ever made..PLEASE consider after care ...i am soo happy that the constant chase of pills ..they stopped working along time ago..could'nt go on like that any more, i finally let people who ARE doing it....help me..just like this forum does...1 addict helping another..thats how it works..i know you r scared of the wd but please believe me..its so worth it...you can do this..i believe in you...  you will look back at this 1 week in you life with much graditude as time moves on..i promise you it gets much better..do the vitamins also..most of BE KIND TO YOURSELF...  sara

[maria920]

Lynn my name is maria and im a heroin addict my story started exactly like urs with the pills and 4 yrs later i was taking 15-20 perk 10s a day after a while tht didnt give me the high i was chasing and i had a so called best friend who said try this its amazingso i did and i was hooked in a years time i spent every dollar we had lost the trust of my husband and family and it was time i stopped im clean 1 month and 16 days! If i can do it so can you!!! Keep it up and when times get tough keep posting! Ppl here are amazing! !!

[Sonrissa]

Hi Lynn and welcome! You sound like you have a great attitude and a good plan! How are you doing today? Keep posting as you go along! There is tons of great advice and support here! Take care and best wishes! You can do this and your life will be so much better!