abit down keep & i keep getting knocked down nits not helping :-(

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

hey guys im still trying ive been livin in shower n playin music my partner is doin ok he still cant move real good but he will thank the lord..
i quit my job the other week then last week got a call fromhead office cos they were now running the shop here i went in signed all the paperwork that goes with starting ya job ive been waitin for my new boss to call n tell me the new roster well this afternoon she called and was sad to say that head office didnt want to hire me agai im angry n confused i didnt call them they called me and it was a guy from head office that said i had my job back and the new manager will do the rosters.. i love working it makes me feel good n for me to get a job is big espaically being a addict in a small town people arent stupied everyone knows everyones business im known as a addict have been for years n to get a job is hard for me people cant move past the past im a good person just need a chance but know one gives me one.. RELAPSEING would be just to easy n thats what people want me to do im not allowed tobe more than what they think of me im sick of it..
god give me strength I CAN DO THIS I DONT NEED DRUGS TO KNUMB MY PHYSICAL N MENTAL PAIN!!!!!!
PLEASE LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH XOXOXOX

[Sonrissa]

HI AJ! Good grief! I don't how you survive through all of this! I don't know what to say but try to keep your head up! Look for the light at the end of the tunnel! It is there somewhere! I'm praying for you that something changes and things get better! You are very strong, don't give up! I wish you the very best! Take care of yourself, my friend!

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

aw sista quiet ol nite. they must be pumping the hooch to be able to smell it thru walls lol or its some wicked **** hahaha.
i smoke pot have for years it does help take the edge off spewing u get paranoid ive heard alot of people r like that cant smoke that happens to em..
melation is a blessing have u tried valerion root i take it at nite to help sleep it helps.
biggest hugs n love my sista from another mister

[Pat1956100]

Just watching tv and on the computer.  Very quiet night.  My tenants are hammered lol.  I can smell the pot through the walls.  I thought there was a skunk at first.  I've never really been able to smoke pot.  It always gets me paranoid.  I wish I could because it would take the edge off but it would just increase the anxiety.  Taking melatonin instead.  What a life.

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

wow his whole life he must love em heaps too id love to work in a car factory it'll be like my heaven on earth lol. glad ya dads gettin settled he will be happier too glad things r goin good for u and ya dad randy <3 ((HUGS))
sprry i aint been on sis havin good n bad days but im hear today missed ya lots what u doin?

[ribs2k]

Hi Pat,
Work has been busy and getting dad settled etc... so I haven't had much time to post. I hope you are doing well too!!!

[Pat1956100]

Nice to hear from both of you
Randy, I have been worried.  I was ready to send out the search party.
So glad you are okay.  I'm used to hearing from you everyday.
Hang in there AJ.  You are a strong lady.

[ribs2k]

ch, that sounds like a horrific accident. My da worked for General Motors his whole life and retired from there. He was happy I fainally bought a gmc...

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

yeah i know they american love the fords always have my dad is ford mad i have a ford badge tattooed on my left arm i beleive cos ive been a ford girl all my life in my car accident i was in a holden i was thrown thru the window when the car hit the tree i had my seat belt on i beleive being a ford girl there easnt enough cubic inches in it to take me lol
i love alfa's any photos huni thats a mad project love it

[ribs2k]

Yes chevy and fords are very much american cars. I am actually restoring an Italian sports car. I have a 1983 alfa romeo spider. it is just a 4 cylinder but it has been a fun project

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

excellent sounds good im watchin the v8 supercars there on this weekend there soothing to me hearing the engines roaring live it we dont have as many breeds of cars in racing that yous do we have FORD n HOLDENs ( i hate holdens) over there i thing there chevys r u in motor sport?

[ribs2k]

Hi...
I am doing pretty well. Visiting dad and taking him to lunch tomorrow, and than a bike ride on Sunday if it isn't raining. I have been getting back out on my mt bike alot lately and it feels good to stay active./

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

hey randy missed chatting to u to its beautiful sunny day blue sky not a cloud to be seen very chilly winds tho.  how u been huni u doin good how ya feeling still good i pray
xoxoxxo hugs

[ribs2k]

so... how's the weather? lol

[ribs2k]

AJ... Sweetheart you can do it. Stay strong and think about all of the people you have helped out. You have this. I have missed chatting with you
Randy

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

havent pulled the trigger craving hard to do it grrr help keep my mind occuiped please grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr hate my head n body

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

thanks huni i need all the positive energy in the world not to pull that trigger godbless xoxoxox

[NowOrNever43]

So sorry to hear about your job, I know news like that can be a huge trigger. Stay strong! You will find another opportunity maybe not today but you will! I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way! Xoxox

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

hey mate and thanks for ya words they rang and told me they aint reinstating me i quit the job a lil while ago cod=s the previous owner who was a friend before i worked for her she was puttin to much on me i relasped because i felt likt i was letting her down if i couldnt do the hours she was asking me to and i was enjoying it i really loved working there i walked out wrote her a letter we havent spoken since this was a couple weeks ago then last week head office was out here sorting the shop out got me in signed papers i was waitin for the new roster the new manager called me today to say that head office didnt want her to re hire me im so sad about it...
thanks so much for ur prayers i need someone to talk to the tears  havent stopped since this afternoon :-(

[dyingtolive3]

i know just how you are feeling. im also coming off of painpills and trying desperately to hang on.this is the hardest thing ive ever done. i also live ina very small town and everybody knows everybodys business and it makes me crazy. congrats on the job news, thats great. now you gotta get out there and show those hicks that you're better than that. you're better than they gave you credit for and oh so much stronger. hold you head up high and keepi fighting. pills dont really help the pain, its just an illusion..they create more pain of their own. i'll say a prayer for you today and hope to talk to you this evening...stay strong ..you can do this!!! we are all in it together