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addiction?

In the past 9 months i have been using esctasy on and off. when i first started using esctasy, it was maybe one to two pills on the weekends for 4 months. i stopped for 3 months without any problem. in the ending of may, i started using the drug again, but this time it got out of control. i have been using it almost everyday. At first I would be taking 1 to 2 pills a day. then after a week or two i would be taking 2 to 4 pills a day. then last week i have been taking 4 to 5 pills a day, for 8 days straight. i had alot of difficulty sleeping, eating, my mood swings were out of control. I was diagonsed with depression in april, and have been put on zoloft. I know, I shouldn't be taking esctasy with zoloft. But I couldn't stop. This weekend that just past, I decided I would stop my use of esctasy. So, my boyfriend, a friend of mine and I decided to get rid of 33 pills, in 36 hours. So we didnt have the temptation of the pills being there. The first night, i took a total of 6 pills. then the next night, i lost count after 8 pills. we didn't sleep at all that whole 48 hours and finally i crashed and slept for 4 hours. I have been trying to catch up on my sleep, but it's hard. my body is very sore. I have a hard time breathing, i have chest pains, my arms are numb, my head feels like mush. I am trembling, i can hardly walk without feeling the need to fall.  I feel very weak. i don't know what to do.. sometimes i feel like dying. i am very sad and depressed. not just from the pills. any suggestions on how i can make myself feel better?
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Avatar universal
Welcome....

One of the things you learn about addiction is loss of control.......

We think were still in control but soon realize that the drug or drugs are controling us.....

This is the very reason why an addict cannot treat himself........
You become an addict because the drug takes over parts of your brain you don't think clearly...

We all are proud and feel we control ourselves.......but in reality we understand that we are helpless and find ourselves in addiction......

The only thing that is true is that we have to get clean from taking drugs, pills or anything else......
My sleeping distortions lasted over a year reaching out for sleeping pills or Valium is distorted thinking.......
Recovery is not using anything.......and this is the only way to get control back..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
kacii, as someone who remembers they heyday of X I can tell you that your depression is 100% related to the drug.  I know it's harsh but you need to stop right now.  

Due to the nature of the drug it leaves your system pretty fast, so you won't have any serious withdrawals.  On the other hand I can vouch that using ecstasy for a prolonged period can do some heavy damage to your serotonin levels.  The more you do, the less serotonin your brain has to work with.  With no serotonin your brain produces dopamine, which causes depression that can seem epic.  

You can do this.  Stop while you can. I know it's hard but you need to separate yourself from the people who provide the drugs or provoke you into doing them.  

Please, please trust me on this.  Only you can change this.  
Helpful - 0
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