anger issues as you clean up

I have spent most of my day tryin not to strangle the eva loving sh*# outta someone or other. first i snapped at walmart, then gettin a burger at culvers, then at mcdonalds on some a$$ honkin his horn , then again at walmart!! i went to jail tuesday because of a fight, and jus got out wednesday nite. I realize that as i get clean for the first 1-3 months, i have a real anger problem. i think it is because im used to letting dope override the urge to punch somethin. my ? is, is this just a cocaine thing? does ne one comin off pills notice that they are edgy, and stupid **** makes em wanna snap? or am i just an a&&hole when im sober? LOL

[worried878]

You are just a sweetheart whatever u r and wherever u go...not everyone you meet is aware of this fact yet!  gotta give them a little time dude

[usarmymedic1]

Drug Counseling for Cocaine Addiction  
  

Family Involvement
Cocaine addiction contributes to a variety of family difficulties, affecting the family system as well as individual members. The burden and emotional pain can be great. Family members may exhibit behaviors intended to help the addicted member, but which ultimately have an adverse impact. Family involvement is important in the treatment of addiction (O’Farrell and Fals-Stewart 1999, pp. 287-305).

There is an association between relapse and social supports across a range of addictions. Involving the family or significant other of the addicted client in individual or multiple family group sessions can reduce the risk of relapse. Such involvement has many potential benefits:

It provides the counseling staff with an opportunity to learn about the client’s family, observe how family members interact, and gain input from the family.
It can facilitate compliance with treatment. If a client feels pressure to remain in treatment to satisfy the requests of the family, he or she may maintain this involvement even during periods of low motivation. This buys the client time for motivation to improve.
It provides members of the family with an opportunity to verbalize their concerns, questions, experiences, and feelings related to the addicted family member.
It offers the client an opportunity to hear how the family experiences the addiction.
It offers the client the opportunity to receive support from the family.
The family can receive education and support from other families, which may lessen the burden experienced. Anger, worry, confusion, and other emotional reactions can be shared, and strong, negative feelings may be diffused.
Family members can be taught about and encouraged to attend support groups such as Nar-Anon or Al-Anon.
Family members can learn about behaviors that they should avoid, which are considered enabling.
Family members can learn about strategies that can help them cope better with an addicted relative.
Family members can learn about strategies to take care of themselves so that all the recovery efforts are not simply directed at the addicted person.
Family members with a psychiatric or addictive disorder who appear to need help themselves can be encouraged to seek help, and referrals can be facilitated.
The GDC model includes a one-time Family Psychoeducational Workshop (FPW) conducted during the first month of treatment (Daley and Raskin 1991; Daley et al. 1992). Psychoeducational workshops have been used with all types of psychiatric and addictive disorders. Such workshops have a positive impact on participants by lessening the family’s burden, increasing helpful behaviors, and decreasing unhelpful behaviors.

A variety of formats can be used for FPWs. Although the CCTS offered a single, 21/2 hour FPW workshop, these workshops can be offered for longer periods of time or for more than one day. A brief FPW was necessary in the CCTS because of the research design. Because the CCTS focused on evaluating the efficacy of individual treatments for addiction, an extensive family program would have made it difficult to interpret research findings. In community-based programs, however, using a variety of family approaches is recommended, including multiple family groups, family psychoeducational workshops, individual family sessions, sessions with individual family members based on a specific need, and referral to family-related self-help programs.

Format of a Family Psychoeducational Workshop
FPWs are semi-structured sessions in which a group of clients and their families are provided with specific information about addiction and recovery. Support is also provided, and families are encouraged to share their questions, concerns, and feelings. Because this is not a therapy group, the workshop leaders must make sure that it doesn’t become a context for sharing deep-seated emotional feelings. Strong feelings are always present in these workshops, and some sharing of emotion is necessary. However, opening up families too much can be counterproductive, so education and support are the main areas of focus. Interactive discussion is encouraged in the context of increasing participants’ understanding of addiction and recovery.

Educational videotapes can be used to help present information and stimulate discussion. It is helpful to provide written literature to clients that relates to the workshop content. Usually after a FPW, one or more family members will have personal questions or concerns that they wish to discuss with the workshop leader.

Family Workshop Content
The specific material covered in family psychoeducational workshops will depend on the amount of time available. Following are the topics most commonly addressed in the CCTS family workshops:

Overview of substance abuse and dependence: Prevalence, symptoms, causes, and basic concepts (e.g., various degrees of substance use problems, denial, obsession, compulsion, tolerance, psychiatric comorbidity, etc.).
Effects of substance use disorders: Impact on the individual, family system, and individual members, including children.
Overview of recovery: Recovery issues for the affected person (physical, psychological or emotional, social, family, spiritual, other) and how to measure outcome.
Overview of treatment resources: Treatment approaches for the affected individual and treatment resources.
How the family can help: Enabling behaviors for the family to avoid, and behaviors that are helpful in supporting the addicted family member’s recovery.
Family recovery issues: How a family member can heal from the adverse effects of addiction and involvement in a close relationship with an addicted family member.
Self-help programs: Programs available for addicted clients and family members, how they can help, and how to gain access to them.
Relapse: Common warning signs of relapse, the importance of relapse prevention planning, how the family can be involved, and how to deal with an actual lapse or relapse of an addicted family member.
Family Educational Materials
Families benefit from written information on any of the topics listed above. Families can continue to read and learn about addiction and recovery if written materials are provided or recommended. In addition, educational videos provide an excellent mechanism to gain information and insight, and they often facilitate excellent discussions among families.

In Appendices E and F, some books, pamphlets, and educational videos are listed that can be used in family psychoeducational programs or recommended to clients or families.

[usarmymedic1]

Long-term effects of cocaine
Addiction

Irritability and mood disturbances

Restlessness

Paranoia

Auditory hallucinations  

[persnick38]

Not sure if this helps or not but I have been extremely moody since stopping hydro. There are days when I am a royal B....  I hate when I feel that way b/c it isn't me. I snap at people (worst of all my daughter), have no patience and feel like I'd just like to let loose on someone. I think it's part of the recovery process and part of the way we deal with cravings. We also have to learn how to feel "normal" again and realize that just like anyone else, we're going to have good days and bad.

BTW - snapping at Walmart is a sign of sanity. I can't make it through that store without my blood pressure going up about 100 points. My daughter knows how much I hate being there and cracks me up the whole way through saying, "mom: in with the good, out with the bad."  What is the deal there anyway? It's like people lose all common courtesy and manners once they walk in - blocking entire aisles with carts, running carts into people.

Man - you just got me angry all over again. I'm going to Walmart to yell at someone. just kidding.

Hang in there.

[newmanagment]

for real, i think that i need to quit goin there. they never have a checkout, the self checkout quits , they tell me to reload my cart after they jerk me round for 20 minutes,and wanna move me to another line with 13 people in it... i was snappin hard core, but i just left all my stuff and cart where it wuz, and walked out. course this means i just had to go back tonite to another walmart , this time with both kids.... damn, now im goin to wal mart to snap LOL....
thanx persnick , ya answered perfectly, i wasnt sure if pills would do the same thing. i wll stay strong , and try to handle my emotions with out violence. i know from experience i  will start to cool out a lil in a few months.
medic, thanx for the input, and i dont get the paranoia or hallucinations except when im using, but i do recognize the other two when im clean.. much love to all

[Mawmaw3]

"Man - you just got me angry all over again. I'm going to Walmart to yell at someone. "


Now that's funny. I don't care who you are.  Thanks for the before bedtime laugh, persnick...LOL

[catmagnet]

Yeah, Wal-Mart ticks me off, too. What's the point of having 35 checkouts when there's only one ( you read that right ) cashier? And believe me, my big strong hubby stays outta my way lately, I've been VERY edgy, I felt guilty the other day and I'm trying to cool it a little. Road rage doesn't help anything either, good thing I have an old clunker, everyone gets out of my way! I think it's perfectly normal to feel grouchy when we're going through such a drastic change, I think our brains need to have a re- adjustment period. Although I'm not sure I even have a brain left!  LOL   =)

[catmagnet]

See, I didn't even spell your name right... no brain!!! DUH  =P

[usarmymedic1]

the anger issue is the reason I want to start competive fighting agian MMA style started my training 2 weeks ago and getting back in to the shape I need to be in is hard but it helps with the anger. my first fight is going to be in 6 weeks so here goes the fun... lol

[usarmymedic1]

one more thing part of it is that your an A$$ hole and your coming off drugs lol had to through that in there bro much love

this a joke so nobdy get pissy

[catmagnet]

Cats get hissy, not p1ssy!  LOL Sorry, no jokes allowed!!  LOL Really just kidding!  cat   =)

[persnick38]

Okay - now I'm really ticked - I wrote another Walmart post and hit some random key and it vanished!

I decided to suck it up tonight and go to Walmart to kill two birds with one stone. All I wanted was a new cell phone battery and to grab a few groceries. How bad could that be, you ask? Well, it wasn't pretty.

I stood in line at the Alltel booth in Walmart for 15 minutes. There was a lady in front of me who was trying to get her 80-year-old father's cell number changed b/c he keeps getting x-rated text messages. Have to admit that gave me a giggle or two. Can't you just hear gramps reading a message and then asking his daughter, "honey, what exactly does that mean she wants to do to me? Ohhhhhhhh. Well, while you're at Walmart, could you pick up my Viagra?"

Finally, it's my turn. All I want is a simple battery. I tell the guy that and he has the nerve to tell me, "we don't sell batteries here."  I must have given the "are you freaking kidding! me look" b/c he immediately rambled off about 5 other places in town where I could buy them. I just looked at him and said, "are you seriously telling me that you advertise being an Alltel retail agent, you sell the phones, you sell the charges, you sell the faceplates, you sell the cell phone holders, but I can't buy the one freaking thing I need to make the phone and all of those expensive accessories you sold me work?" No reply from Mr. Helpful. Yeah, keep on rolling back those prices and while you're at it; roll in some cell batteries too!

Disclaimer:  this message is the sole opinion of the poster and does not reflect the views of anyone here who loves Walmart. Sorry if I have offended. I feel SO much better now that I have vented. Maybe now's a good time to go to Walmart. lol

[usarmymedic1]

I hope you two don't buy your shotguns at wallyworld I mean walmart... lol

[persnick38]

Can't. They said they only sell the ammo; not guns. lol.

[flmagi]

LOL  Isn't the purpose of Walmart to make you crazy? Especially the people that leave their carts in the middle of the isle and wander off.  Here's a fun thing I like to do to those people.  I take their cart and push it to the end of the isle or even to another isle. Its always good for a laugh. If they catch me doing it, I just say "sorry, I thought it was abandonned".

[JayDiddy]

I mean no disrespect but we addicts often have character defects within. I think it might be good to attend AA or NA and work the steps. We end up with all of these resentments inside us and need to cope with them because they are always inside brewing up a storm. Things likely are bugging you from the past that you are not even aware of.

For me I had to stop looking at the drugs and other outside factors and look at myself & start fixing myself. For me it's been AA, NA, the steps, a sponsor to vent with, and God who I ask daily to take away my character defects.

It's a process and if you take a look at yourself you will probably see that you have progressed further than you give yourself credit for. We addicts are usually people who are actually more sensitive than most. We get offended easier, feel more emotion. amd lash back out because of fear or to "protect" ourselves.

I'm sure you will grow past this stuff in sobriety especially if you work a program. I can't say enough how much AA & NA has helped me. I have changed so much in a reasonable time period. I don't always see it but others around me do. It's kinda 2 steps forward, 1 3/4 back.

My sponsor pissed me off but ultimately helped me when I was complaining about all the people around me that were pissing me off. He asked me if I realized who the "Common Denominator" was in all of these situations.....It was ME. Ouch but it has helped me.

Keep it up.
Jay

[jim811]

Hey there...know exactlu what you mean....i'm pretty mellow but the 2-4 weeks after stopping, i wanted to break trees in half...i hit the gym quite a bit.  Around the 5th week, I was pretty much back to normal on the rage thing....crazy stuff

[troubleinohio]

Im lmao at the walmart posts here! obviously its a universal thing, all walmarts suck, and they all make people go bezerko! I rarely ever go there! Rude people, rude STUPID workers there! I cant tell you how many times Ive got double charged for something there and then have to go to the customer service desk to argue about this! One time fairly recently,  a woman approached me in the parkng lot carrying a 36 case of beer under her arm and wanted to know if i could buy her gift card because she said her car was out of gas and she had no cash money! I was like ummmm if you hadnt just bought that 400 pack of beer you have tucked in your armpit you might've had some $ for gas LOL

[gizzy32]

new, stay away from walmart man lol. im glad you realize these anger issues. i was the angriest SOB my first few weeks clean, i was so unhappy and in so much pain i snapped a lot at stupid things, had no patience, irratible and down right depressed. remember your coming off a major and difficult drug and your a month clean, most changes are happening to you now. glad your working on this, but not to find excuses for you, but man, you have had some ******** to deal with and you have stayed clean, for that you should be proud.  you should get a punching bag, it might help, haha.

[newmanagment]

thanx to all for the input, ima start shoppin at kmart LOL.. jay,i do attend NA/AA, and i love my group. i do understand it is me, and my problem. but its a problem we face, and by the post i can see its not just me ........much love

[josh231]

dude now that ive been clean i get really crappywith people, i have a very short fuse and like have no patience, like ive been fighting with my gf alot this weak just yellin cause of somthign like last night she was drivinin kinda slow ahh it set me off

[cathy5841]

new, anger is a side effect of being sober.  thing is you are no longer numbing those feelings into oblivion.  but the good thing you also now have happy good feelings too.  it does get better and i know you will hang in there.
much love
cathy

[bmc1976]

I was also very short tempered while going through withdrawals. I'm usually as laid back and easy going as they come. It's just part of the process. It may last longer for some. I know when people have the flu they can be the same way. I'm only 20 minutes away if you want me to whip you in to shape newmanagement! Just kidding....What I would always do is the counting to ten thing and think things over again. It really seemed to help. But at wal-mart I could count to hundred and still be out of control! I can't blame you there!

[opi]

if i ever go on a bender again i will make sure i hit a walmart    ..    ;)

[bmc1976]

If you do opi call me so I can come and watch! I'm sure seeing you there would bring pure enjoyment to all! I'd buy plane ticket just to see that!

[corey411]

Sorry about your day yaesterday.I wondered where you were. Missed ya ya know. I sometimes feel like that in the grocery store...esp on Sunday right after all of the elderly church people are out. My tolerance for anger is much lower and ya wanna give those older people some slack at least.lol I have a pretty passive and layed back peoposality which usually allows me to control it in situations and let it out later by physical exercise or yellin at poor Joe. How well did you handle anger and frustration before? My son who was addicted to heroin had difficulty with managing anger but rarely showed it. Alot of anger came out in Rehab and he learned alot of anger management strategies in counceling. WOW Don't end up in jail again. That sucks. Have a better day

To all of you Walmart shoppers..Take a minute and go to this website www.coopamerica.org it will ask did you mean coopamerica.org and click there ..then click responsible shopper...go to the bottom of the page and click the link about Walmart. Not only rude shoppers and no one to help but bad karma
Love, Corey

[Rose703]

I just have to jump in and say Walmart makes me so ANGRY too!! I can't tell you the amount of times that I've snapped while in that store!! Rude employees, disorgainized merchandise, and half the time their so called cheap prices turn out to be more than expected.
Thank for the chuckle and thanks for reminding me that I'm not going to go to Walmart today!! LOL!!

[confused456]

I am sitting here LMAO....Wallyworld, Wal-fart, etc...whatever you call it, I see that we all agree it is a HUGE trigger or at least a place that pi$$e$ us all of to wanna just strangle someone!!!

[10356]

I know when I would come down from cocaine that was always my first emotion EXTREME ANGER!!! your post made me lmao I also think I will avoid walmart Mc donalds for awhile thanks Limbo

[allaboutmary]

LMAO   All this time I thought it was just me. Standing in line at Wal-mart with the jugular vein in my neck ready to blow !  I do think people check their brains at the door there.  
Have you ever wanted to smack one of those smiley greeters because you know what's instore for you once your in the door.  Make the damn greeter check me out instead of just standing there ! LOL  
Yes, I have anger issues also. Could you tell ?

[confused456]

Mary...LMAO....I had the greeter tell me Have a wonderful evening, and I even wrote here about biting her head off. I know it wasn't even her fault, but OMG.....the entire trip was grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wait2long]

could the anger stem from just the plain old ANXIETY of being anywhere near walmart?  i get edgy before i even walk in the front doors...it starts when i am making my fr***ing list
or just simply looking at the flyer!  and this IS the ONLY option we have where i live...i think it may be worth driving the 3 hours for a different choice and avoiding the nasal voiced, geekie, have no clue where to find shaving cream or drapery hooks person standing there WATCHING me search for these items while getting paid for it with his hands in his pockets!
GRRRR!

[what2donow]

Newmanagement???!!! You have a temper?Noway.....lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I too snap during withdrawls.I hate that part of it.I know I was 25 days clean and still snapping at dumb stuff, but I thought it was just me.Keep ur chin up newmanagement, ur doing great and im sooooooo proud of you!!!!!!!

**hugs**

[bobby139]

keep ur chin up friend...i cant imagine what you r going thr but i also have had a hell of a time with my temper after quitting the pills, Walyworld don't help thats for sure..I was there just 2 days ago and ended up yelling my *** off on this girl then come to find out she was celab. being there for 9 yr.s lol...don't feel bad..it will get better I HOPE :)
bobby

[persnick38]

Has anyone checked the stock market lately? Just wondering if all of our Wallyworld bashing has caused their stock to plummet.

I can just see the Wall Street Journal headline:  "Angry Addicts Cause Fall of the Walton Empire."

[confused456]

LOL...that was super funny persnick!!

But, I have to say that I have read and then reread  this post. While it is fun to laugh and make jokes, there is also a bigger picture here.
My own personal feelings are: There is a huge difference between being pi$$ed off at Wal-Mart or having a short temper with our children and beating someone up and going to jail for it. When you lose your temper to the point of having to go to jail, there is a bigger issue and maybe anger management is then necessary. Just my own opinion.

[persnick38]

I agree, Confused. Thanks for making that point. It is important to get a handle on anger issues - especially if they lead to physically or emotionally harming another. Humor is a great stress reliever for a lot of us and it has it's place but we shouldn't lose sight of serious issues.

[sadinmichigan]

I agree with the above two posts..my son made had some serious errors in judgement because of anger issues..he was facing 7-10 yrs in prison for beating some *** in his senior yr with brass knuckles. He was forced by the system to go to anger management..didn't like it at first..But he said he learned some good skills to cope with those situations. He signed up at his own will to continue that for a few months. My son is a MMA cagefighter and realizes the importance of not fighting BECAUSE your angry...look for a meeting..please..best of luck..sad

[newmanagment]

nope sorry wont be no anger managment with me. i only went to jail because someone came to my house and started it with me. i am not out looking for fights, and i dont beat up on innocent people. i do however not let people give me sh it... and i dont really like it when people try to play me. i know for a fact that this decreases the more clean time i have, not like i continue to snap out after a few months, matter of fact im a pretty understanding person.. ive even talked quite a few of you thru some major hard times, ans serious cravings, remember?!?!

[usarmymedic1]

lol damn your an A$$ lol take easy. you know what I am saying from your PM lastnight. you are stronger than that and I will come get in your face if you try to use agian and it won't be just me I know BMC will be standing next to me so no decreasing your clean time.  and no more time in jail if they come to your house let then put one foot in the door than bet'em down so they go to jail lol

laters man
medic

[cathy5841]

i do think of someone comes to your house to do you harm you not only have every right but have a responsibility to protect your family.  as far as the wal-mart stuff goes....well, i have to come home and cool off everytime....it just seems like with 20 lanes they would open a few more.  i mean they make enough off me to pay an extra cashier.

[confused456]

I agree with Cathy totally, but I was not trying to be a bit** when I sad that, you did not say why or where or with who you got into a fight. You only mentioned that you have felt very angry and that you went to jail for a fight. I made a suggestion based on the info. that you provided.

[newmanagment]

well, ya touched a nerve, i am not short tempered wit my kids, they are my life and the only short temper i had wit em wuz when i had pneumonia. i really dont like things to be implied, and i am not much for mincing words. i say wut i feel, and dont really care who likes it. i will never bow down to ne one, sorry thas not me...

[confused456]

Wow, a little over-board. I didn't say anything about you being short tempered with your kids. What I said is that there is a difference when someone is short temper with their children and when they beat the **** out of someone and goes to jail. By "short tempered", I meant yelling at them over something we usually would not find to be a big deal. I am a parent of 3 and will fully admit that I have been short tempered with my kids before. There was no implication.

[newmanagment]

good, now step of me. i brought you thru some bad times, or do you forget ? just because we dont see eye to eye ne more doesnt mean i will tolerate ya thinkin i need to go to "anger managment"... i dont like drama, thas why i dont mess wit you ne more. so lets jus agree to stay outta each others face. it will be much easier for both of us..

[sortamental]

without reading all the replies, to answer your question:

coming off vics made me very rageful. I don't know what it is about them b/c percs never did that.

[confused456]

Take it how you want.

[worried878]

I hated walmart before I was an addict....still hate it and will spend more money to shop somewhere else...patience is a virue for me right now and I am trying hard to stay cool at work and with many of my friends...my anger is bottled up within...I may go to walmart and let some of it out before i go to bed tonight on some unsuspecting shopper!   but i am too tired so i will just go to bed instead

[corey411]

Could you get into a book. You know me...I know NA would help but won't go. My son never went to anger management but found out he had some anger issues in rehab...he really didn't lash out much but I think that helped him find the path to addiction. There are alot of books you could read that MIGHT help you diffuse your feelings...some people get like this with fear...jealosy ect. Alot of it's probably part of not using. If u can do some books amazon.com-u can even get used ones cheaper. Don't know the situation but if someone comes to your house pi@@es you  off maybe you could learnto defuse it so you keep u out of jail. Just an idea...won't hurt anyway and want to see ya happy and tellin us about it.

[newmanagment]

i had a great day, no anger and even worked on car. im an ex gang banger, when these people show up ya dont defuse situations. ya deal wit em swiftly and show no mercy, keeps others from gettin stupid ideas. all the snappin at walmart and the rest wuz more an internal issue, i choked it down and went bout my business. i know that this gets easier for me a few months out, and i know how to deal with it, i wuz just curious if it wuz only common to cocaine addicts, or if people with pills as their doc noticed these feelings at all. seems by the amount of post that a lot do... thanx corey, ya alwayz make me smile :)

[cathy5841]

i have heard sex releaves stress  lmao

[bobby139]

Boy I think that a few need to do just that cathy lmao....this started out as a simple question........

[toxictome]

cathy...great idea.......
.
hey bobby...maybe i need to use  your woodpile as a prop..and your nightshirt!!
got neighbor???  LMAO

new.......BREATHE... keep working it!!!!! :D

[bobby139]

not yet LMFAO!!!!

[newmanagment]

1,2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10....ok ,im all good now LOL.... least i feel betta, maybe i need to take cathys suggestion, but its kinda hard... to find the time with three kids here LOL

[road2recovery]

LOL----Love the suggestions...First new--i hate wamart, and yes getting off of pills makes us snap at the simple things, even our own kids,,And that hurts, but u knwo what we are all human...And even non addicts have bad days...hell that is life!!!

WE as addicts can change our actions about drugs but we cannot change the world...We are still normal people who get aggrivated with our kids, bills, spouses, jobs etc....So we need to all understand that...We are not perfect and never will be!!!

oh getting off of subject...lol
oh yea sex..lol best thing of getting clean is all those feeling come back...  glad hubby feels the same!!!

[road2recovery]

OH i forgot about the neighbor...LMAO

[ladyboop]

LMAO!!! what is it with walmart.. All these post remind me of my son. Everytime he gets pissed off. He tell me he's going down to the walmart to yell at someone... And I thought it was just him..lol..lol..

[persnick38]

Anyone think we need to ask MedHelp to start a Walmart Recovery forum? I haven't seen one post from anyone who doesn't get stressed there. However, seems like many of us use that as a place to let off some steam. Those poor, unsuspecting greeters. I wonder if they have some kind of support group?
"Hi. I'm Betty and I am a recovering Walmart greeter."

[bobby139]

how could u forget about the neighbor???? lmao  i will have to tell u the rest of story sometime lol...
bobby

[newgirl2708]

If you guys are all at Walmart, maybe the problem isn't Walmart....

Couldn't resist....
;)

[sadinmichigan]

I'm sorry..I absolutely remember how much you have helped...I was just trying to give it as an option..(glad you don't go lookin though.lol) I really didn't mean to offend you at all.I again..am sorry. I think your a great guy..Just didn't want to see you go to jail again..
take care..
sad