another bad day? or am I just whinning too much?

I talked with my mother today, told her I do believe I have a problem, she didnt want to see it. but as I explained it to her, she now realizes i have the addictive personality. And that in deed I do have a problem. It has been at bay for a long time, but now I am trying to ragain composure of my life again. I know I am strong enough to overcome it again, it is just harder this time. I dont like the feeling of being with a lot of people who are worse off than me, and tell them my problems. Its like on here. alot of people on here are alot worse than me. I feel like a whinny A** for even posting here. There are some people on here that have it alot worse than me. I dont want anyone to think I feel my problem is as bad as thiers, I have actually helped alot of people I know beat addictions. But why cant I take my own advice? I dont know, maybe I should just stop whinning and suck it up and deal with it on my own like I did before. No one helped me when I beat it when I was 18, which was like 1990. I was given the choice of doing it alone or rehab and I chose alone. Maybe my mistake back then wasnt getting the professional help then. Well, I will stop my boo hooing and deal with it again. Thanks to everyone for the help though!

[creek]

If you need to vent, whine, whatever you want to call it, just get it out.  You know, I never had much luck with sucking it up and getting on with it.  BUT lately I have had a strength...mostly from phrases I have internalized here...like this disease is progressive.  Quitting today or quitting 10 years from now...I am not going to get better until I quit using.  I am accepting that. I am accepting it will be bad today, or bad tomorrow it isn't going away.  I really thought if I ignored it that it may.  Or I for sure thought I would never be as addicted as I am.  I always thought I had it under control.

In my opinion, and in so many here, it is pretty black and white, you either use or you don't.  

Now is the time to quit and you are in the right place for support.  YOU can do it.  You will take your own advice and choose to live without pills.  YOU CAN DO IT AND SO CAN I.  

The important thing is that you are CHOOSING a path.  Good for you.  Get ready for the bad days....embrace the bad days...get through the bad days...and don't ask me what is on the other side.  I have never  got that far.  I just know it is worth fighting for cuz this sucks for sure being controled by an addiction.

[1911]

Please...please...don't run from the forum.

Each and every one of us is a unique person.  You are unique and shouldn't expect to match up with others.

You took a giant step by talking with your mother.  Give her a little time to sort out what you said and I bet she will be your greatest supporter.

We are your second family...here to share our experience, give encouragement, and reassure you that you can beat this addiction.  The fact you did it by yourself at age 18 speaks volumnes about your inner strength.

You picked the right trail, a steep trail, but one that will get you over the top and back down to that normal life we all seek.

Happy Trails,
~George~

[creek]

assumed your addiction was pills.  Mine is. Guess that isn't the point either is it?  Just that whatever it is has control over us, instead of the other way around.

I am here to listen.

Peace~

[creek]

Well put.  It is a happy trail in the end, right??  Sure would like a guarantee.   Ha

[blue_eyes_72]

My original addiction was coke, then alcahol (alcohol). Now that I am fighting the coke, i am affraid it is becomming the pills. I can tell you there are brighter days ahead once you over come the worst of it. It gets easier every day. I did it for 12 years! I then had a set back for a short time. dried out agian, then all he** broke out in my life, when it did I turned to the bottle again. Then came the Coke once more! I can say all this and know when and where I have went wrong. I never reached out for help before, now I am! I was the Queen of conceling my feelings. No one ever knew when I was upset or bothered by things. Now I am at the point that The best thing I can do is ask for the help from my family. My mother and Sister in law are great to me. They will help me any way I tell them I need it. right now my b/f is giving me grief about his job, like I need more pressure. I am also dealing with the fact that my daughter was just seriously injured. She is 15 and broke 2 vertibre in her back, So I am trying to help her with everything she does so she can heal. I clean the house every day, do the homework thing with my son, cook every day and try to be a good g/f. While doing all this I am trying to deal with my demon of addiction. I know when this is over my life will be better. I just have to get my head straight first. but getting it there is driving me NUTS!!!!! I either want to cry all the time, sleep all the time, bit** all the time,eat all the or just be alone! I have gained back 60 lbs now. uggggggggggggggg! So, to everyone giving me the encouragement, thank you. I do know what lays ahead, I just have to get there again! This is really helping, I am able to get alot off my chest on here.

[Marce4]

I just want you to know, I don't think you should minimize your issues...your struggle is just as tough and real to you as is everyone else's. If you need to complain or vent...do it...this is place to come to find help and compassion when you need it...and give help and advice when you can!  We don't judge you by what your DOC or life situation is...we are just here for you! Don't apologize for anything because we are all addicts or loved one's of addicts and in that we are all equal!
Hope you can find some peace in this forum!
Marcie

[oxysbliss]

It isnt about whinning...its expressing....one self...I like it htat way ...lol...

Hang in there!! Glad to see your on the board and posting...I hear ya about the beating it..but really...Do we ever...Once an addict...Always an addict..its just a way of life...

I was in the program...for many years..and here I sit again...different drugs..same person.....same ending result.......For me, I jsut have to look at progress and my willingness to change...for the better......

Keep your chin up...come back and express yourself!! Someone is usually around to listen....Lord knows i have bounced enough information on this board and feel quite comfortable with the people who post back......

Have a good night........and Good luck....Keep posting!!

Increase Peace
*and Love*

[LIZZIE LOU]

I am the mother of a recovering crack addict...my heart goes out to you.  you mentioned that your mother was there for you...that is great to hear as so my people do not have the support of their family.  my advice to you, as a mother, is to reach out to her...draw from her strength and support.  just because you did it by yourself many years ago, doesn't mean you can go it alone again.  the biggest part of recovery is admitting that you are powerless...sounds like you've done that.  talking to your mother was another biggie...i feel that you are on the right path...REACH OUT AND GRAB IT BY THE HORNS...you can do it!  

[blue_eyes_72]

Thank you so very much!!!! At least now I know I have someone other to talk to and just vent or whine or what ever. I do have good days, they are comming more and more. i never reached out for anything before. I need it now! I thank all of you for listening, even if there are times I dont like what I hear, I will never be ungrateful. If I can help anyone else, even if its through words of encouragemant, let me know. I too have yahoo messanger. you can reach me at mrose1135 on there, anyone wanna talk just im me. Again thanks for listening.

[hellc@mst]

no matter how bad things get there will always be sum1 else worse off.dont let it stop u from seeking the help u need.your despair is as real and valid as the next persons.gods speed and good luk in ur recovery.

[vicaddict]

You are in the right spot hun...NEVER think of yourself as "whining" never.

We all here have heard just about everything and ourselves and have said just about anything...that is the beauty of being here on this forum...you can say whatever you feel openly, and honestly and not have to worry about being judged.

We are all here to help one another, and you will come to find that you will too see the "togetherness" we all feel here.
If you need to vent, talk, go off until your content, whatever you need to do we are all here to listen and here you through my friend!

Welcome!

Huggs
Tracy