another day

[a549056]

mornin fellow junkies. todays another day. some of us are feelin ruff, some of us are feelin great. i just want to re-asure all of you that the pain WILL go away. take it from a hard-core, main-lining junkie who knows. hell, if my pain went away, everbodys will. im headed to work now, and feelin great. something i thought was never gonna happen again. but i'll be dam, it did. you all stay clean long enuff, and your gonna get the suprise of your life....feelin good without. (unnerstand suzi & tammy?) it will happen---------

tf

[norcalwhiteguy]

I don't buy the idea of an addict is mentally the age of then they started their addiction. I have a hard time believing life experiences don't have an affect on someone just cuz they're high on pills. Addicts live in the same world as "norms" and experience the same problems as everyone else.

[Threestrikes]

Be honest with yourself, is it the guilt that is making you lash out?  Justification to keep what you think is your best-friend(drug of choice) at all cost.  I'm new here but am so thankful for this forum.  I'm on day 13 cold turkey and I know, I come here when it gets so bad and read these wonderful, supporting posts and say to myself "I"M NOT ALONE IN THIS FIGHT".

You don't have to be either.

Three

[g.g.]

YOU ARE A STRANGE ONE!! THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY,VERY VERY VERY VERVERY STRANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                  g.g.

[Patrice]

I am disgusted at some of the stuff I am hearing here..First Suzie tried to give out medical advice...Look lady, dont ever tell someone to take Kava Kava WITHOUT  a doctor knowing about it!!!!! All I hear Is MrM is giving bad advice..IMHO, he is the only one giving GOOD advice......Some of you people crack me up, you are willing to live in constant pain because you want to be "Clean and Sober"  I say BS to that!!!! E. Smith, you are in terrible pain, and if you doctor doesnt give you anything for your pain, I would sue him for malpractice!!!! The doctor who cut the person off of the path should be arrested, and having his liecense taken away, because people DO die from opiate WD....I just cant believe this board......Next, do you people in 12 step programs tell someone to quit taking their syc drugs because they arent "clean" Well, listen to people in your meetings, many an addict has committed suicide from quitting the medication that makes them mentally normal......Suz, if you want to live in costant pain from headaches that is insane, only an ignorant person would live like that.....Medications have been made for a reason, and if a person is an addict, so what, an addict is a human being that needs the same kind of pain relief as much as a person that is not an addict..So my good people, suffer, suffer, suffer, you too one day will commit suicide because you wont be able to handle the pain anymore..You so called "recovering addicts" are zelots.....Just think about this, if one of you so called NA people who tell other addicts "to take NOTHING no matter what" and that addict kills themselves because of pain, or a mental disorder, then their blood is on your hands.........


NoNaForMe

[Son4]

Thanks for the welcome !! I have everything Mrs Rat posted written down and sure will talk with the DR and yes scared me a bit to think I could maybe get addicted ! You are good people and have become a family that looks out for each other thats very good !!

[lisabet]

Hi, and welcome.  Yeah you're right - we're not totally scumballs and "skanky"....smile.  (Although don't we all feel that way sometimes?)... :)  Glad you posted; it really helps to talk and vent, and have people who understand where you're at. Thank God you were wise enough to realize that addiction could be a repercussion when taking meds for pain.  It happens all the time. In your case, with your "gut" problems, I'm sure you need the meds. Just acknowledging that you're afraid you could get addicted puts you miles ahead of most of us. It really can sneak up on you before you know it.  First you begin taking meds every 6 hours, then every 4 hours, every two....and before you know it, you gotta have it....all the time!!!! You sound like a really smart gentleman; with your med problems, don't let yourself suffer; try to take your meds as directed (that's what they're for; is for legitimate pain as you experience). Hope you keep posting. Let us know how your doctor visit went today. Take Mrs. Rat's advise (in upper post) - she's been there; INSIST on the tests she advised. That way at least you'll have peace of mind if all comes back OK. You'll be in my prayers.  Love/Peace, Lisabet

[Son4]

Thank you thank you I go to the DR tomorrow AGAIN !! I will sure bring this up and so far you are right on IBS ! I have had so many tests I think the DR I have is actually burnt out with me ! I do have an appt at the Cleveland clinic but not until March so  I think my DR is actually just trying to keep me quiet until then and the Vicodin does that !Thats why I searched for addiction because I knew that as it stood right now with 3 months of Vicodin I didnt want an addiction problem . I have saved your email and thank you again! Did you actually ever think at anytime during your ordeal that maybe you might have been 1 sandwich short of a picnic ??? I am kinda at that point and I even asked the DR do I need mental help LOL !! Anyway thanks and I will be in contact  SON4

[MrsRat]

Reading your post above, one thing SCREAMED out to me. I also had "bowel/gut pain" for years (ok, most of my life) and went to doc after doc. Most of them just wanted to put me on Vicodin ES too. By the time I found one who knew to run a barium gulp, iodine push, CT Scan (request this test, it WILL find any probs that may be in your digestive system) ... well, by that time, the Crohn's Disease I have was so bad, I couldn't be put on maintainance drugs for it. They had to cut out a little over a foot of my small bowel.

I don't say this to scare you.  I say it so you know that docs everywhere tend to poo-poo 'gut pain' and just try to tell you it's IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).  In a LOT of cases it's IBD (Irritable Bowel Disease), Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. Both of those diseases cause almost identical symptoms, but once diagnosed as IBD, docs can do other tests to figure out which one you have. I actually ended up having IBS and IBD.

If your gut is hurting and spasming, Vicodin is only gonna stop the pain for a short period of time. It will NOT stop the spasms that cause a lot of the pain.  There is a drug just to stop them that your doc may consider if you are having them. It's called Donnatal.  It's a combination of Belladonna and Phenobarbitol.  I've taken it for years at bedtime and it does stop the spasms.

Please don't let your doc get away with not doing a CT scan like I described above to you.  The CT scan will see things that upper and lower G.I. tests, colonoscopies, etc. won't see.  I KNOW, I'm living proof of this. You may also wanna do a web search under Crohn's or Colitis and read up on the diseases and see if you have some of the symptoms (there are many and it varies in all of us). Also let me know if I can be of any help to you, my email addy is ***@****.

[Esmith28]

They were banned for speaking of GOD? I was speaking of God everyday, and I qupted the bible once...why wasnt I banned?

[straightjacket]

it is sad to here that people have been banned beacuse of ther beliefs , we can use all the help we can get , im sure i am not the onlyone who feels a great loss , GOD.

[FINISHED!!]

Please DO read...but also post when you feel the need. Your words are VERY encouraging & as I said, you lifted my spirits with them. Thank you again.

FINISHED!!

[Son4]

Yes to all you have said I guess I didnt know when I made that post that Rex had been banned so glad I went ahead and yes I havent seen anywhere in all the threads I have read where Jesus or God has been pushed down a throat ! It is sad maybe the powers that be here will have a change of heart I think many will miss very good loving advice from him ! I will continue to come and read many know now my stand this is an awesome bunch of people and they are all GOOD !! Hope my above post doesnt mean that I cant come and read ?????

[FINISHED!!]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for ALL of the kind words. Today has started off as a sad day for me, learning that one of our MOST VALUED members has been banned for speaking of God. You have lifted my spirits somewhat & for that I am greatful. Thank you Son4 for reconizing the work that is done here, regardless of beliefs, age, race or otherwise. We are a family of addicts & need each & every person here. If one does not believe in a higher power that is his choice. He has the same choice to overlook the posts from those of us that do. Please understand that this forum is a very important part of many peoples lives & recovery. To ban one for the mentioning of God is a midevil practice...a burning at the stake if you will. We all have our own tools in place to battle the addiction in our lives...be it the Thomas Recipe, tapering, cold turkey or God. We should be allowed to offer our tools to those who seek them. Again, it is then that person's choice to choose his weapon to fight the good fight. We have suffered a GREAT LOSS & I am sad for this...

FINISHED!!

[Son4]

Being off work and lots of time to kill! I am what you all call one of the lurkers !! I have been coming here several times a day for near 2 weeks now and I am learning sincerely learning that you all are NOT the scum of the earth you are ALL good people with a BAD problem and it has indeed been HELPED by the medical folks ! Its cheaper and less costly to them money wise and time invested to write you a script I am learning this now with my own DR ! They are trying to work up a bowel and stomach diagnosis on me while at times I have great pain their answer has been Vicodin at times the ES at times the regular , Having heard at different times about how bad this could get addiction wise I headed to google and found you folks and I want to let you know God may have used you all very greatly and has spared me the agony that you all have been through and are still going through! I have read all the posts you all have made for a long time and I think because I am FRESH at this I can see how far you all have come and you ARE making progress you truly are each day when you all post and CARRY one another its awesome maybe you all dont see that but its there ! I am very possibly one of many that from your expierence with addiction may be spared ! I am forcing myself to go longer between doses and taking less than I am allowed and pushing the DR to find somehing not so easy to become addicted to! I am doing better with this issue because of YOU all not the scum of the earth but people that are willing to share and help thats GOOD people not bad ! So all of you Ed finished Vicnomore Tammy lisabet all of you PLEASE keep sharing and loving each other You really do LOVE each other very easy to see and have great care for each other thats very very good ! I like to read too how God is moving in your lives and how some turn to him and those that may be angry with God are hearing that God sure does love them yet and only because man has desired not to have God intervene without the mans permission do we get and notice I said we get into the things that at times mess up our lives ! Sorry to ramble but I have learned much about people in the past 2 weeks and I was very stupid of the things of the world I guess I am 53 been over a good share of the world fought in 2 war zones and wondered at how stupid I could have been about people but like I said because of you GOOD folks here I am being enlightened LOL !! I mean thatand thanks again for sharing so others can avoid !! Finished you are missing your calling you need to WRITE !!! You have a hugeeeeee amount of talent !!!!! Truly I say God Bless you all and I pray he moves mightily in your lives and brings that peace you all are looking for it is doable just ALLOW him he will NEVER force himself on you !!!He cant he LOVES you too much !!! Son4

[PunkRawkGurl1q21]

Each little message I read makes me want to cry. Partly because it makes me sad that everyone has to go through this and partly because I'm happy because now I know I'm not alone. Its so hard to deal with addiction when your so young. Just to give you a little background I'm 18, a student in college, and I was in a serious car wreck on October 2, 2002. I ended up having surgery to repair my knee and put a steel plate on my pelvis. I had a lot of pain from the accident and the surgerys and mostly because of the damage to my cyatic nerve. After a month of being on Norco my surgeon wanted to put me down to Vicodin. Unfortunately the Vicodin didn't work so they sent me to the pain clinic. The pain clinic gave me another prescription for Norco, put me on Duragesic pain patches, and gave me two lumbar sympathetic blocks. So I spent the second month after my accident on Norco/Vicodin and Duragesic simultaniously, along with Neurontin and amitriptalyne. After the second lumbar block my pain went away and I was discharged. The doctor told me to finish out the patches and didn't tell me anything about withdrawls. During the third month after my wreck I was feeling better so I figured I would just take the patch off. I got very sick but attributed it to the flu. I put another patch on just to ease the symptoms of the flu. I decided a few days later to try to stop using it again. I got very anxious, I couldn't concentrate, I was very depressed, and I felt really sick. Not to mention I felt like I had a 103 degree fever. I was really desperate for someone to talk to because I was home all alone so I called my ex-bf who knows a lot about prescription narcotics. I told him what was going on and he immediately realized I was having withdrawls. He said fentanyl is as addictive as heroin and the withdrawls can be pretty severe. He said I should call my doctor. I tried but I kept getting their answering service and no one would call me back. I tried to take care of it myself by wearing the patch past the 3 days hoping the meds would taper off and I would be ok. No such luck. I kept trying to call and finaly the day before christmas eve I was on the 4th day of my very last patch the nurse called my house and said my doctor was out of town she didn't know what to tell me. She said one of the doctors had suggested wearing the patch past the 3 days, blah blah blah. I told her it wouldn't work. She said she's have my doctor call me when he got back a week from that day. I didn't sleep at all that night. I didn't sleep at all Christmas eve. On Christmas day I felt so sick. I was exhausted and nausiated. As the day progressed on I started feeling really anxious. I couldn't sit still for anything. I tried to lay down on my couch but every part of my body in contact with the couch felt so hot it hurt. I started crying and I couldn't stop. I felt so completely sick. I begged my mom to take me to the ER. She finally relented because it was getting so bad I just couldn't take it. We live out in the country so it was quite a drive to the hospital. On the way all of a sudden I couldn't feel my arms and I started to feel like I was going to throw up. I thought I was just going to dry heave since I hadn't ate anything but I didn't. I threw up all over myself. It was so embarassing and the whole thing made me feel that much more sick. We got to the ER and explained the situation and the doctor was pretty nice. He said I was going through severe withdrawls. He gave me the option of taking a lower dose narcotic or something that was completely non addictive. I chose the non addictive one. They gave me a shot which was suppose to knock me out. (yeah right) I started feeling worse. Then they said I needed to go home to lay down. I almost told the doctor that if he sent me home like that I was going to go home and kill myself because I couldn't take it. I did make it home, but since it was Christmas day my family was all there. I layed down on the couch and my mom closed all the shades. My grandma gave me 2mg of Xanex but it didn't help. For about 2 hours I layed on my couch kicking and thrashing and crying and moaning. I couldn't stop it. It was so horrible I wanted to die. I accidentaly pulled a big chunk of hair out trying to calm myself down. I finally fell asleep. When I woke up I felt like ****. I did get a few hours of sleep that night. But for 4 nights after that I didn't sleep at all. The only kind of rest I got was when I would be sitting there watching TV and all of a sudden it was a half hour later and something else was on. It was scarry because I didn't remember falling asleep or waking up it was just like I lost a half hour somehow. I did that for 4 days. Finally the monday after christmas I got an appointment with my family doctor. On our way out of the house the pain clinic called and said they would call in a prescription for methodone. I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. I went to my family doctor and he put me on librium and ambien. So that took care of my physical withdrawls. But there was an aspect no one bothered to think about...I also had a psychological dependancy. The pain medicine was the only way I knew how to cope with the pain inside from my accident and everything I had been through. I went through a period of a few weeks where I just didn't know what to do. I needed a release. I needed something to make me feel ok. It was just too much for me to handle. Not to mention the physical pain from learning to walk again after 3 months. So the point to my story is just to give a shout out to everyone who's ever gotten addicted to pain medicine. WE AREN'T ALONE. It sucks to have to go through all this ****, but in the end its alright it just takes a long time. Sorry to bore you with my long story, but I at least feel better having talked about it. I was afraid to talk to my friends and family because I was afraid they would think I was somekind of freak or something. Thanks to everyone who read this.

*They say its over and I'm fine again. Try to stay sober. Feels like I'm dying. And I am aware now how everythings gonna be fine one day...too late?...time will tell. You say its over I can sigh again. Why try to stay sober when I'm dying?? I am aware now how everythings gonna be fine one day...too late...I'm in hell.*  Seether - Fine Again

[InsaneinTN]

I'm B'Belt's sister with the same problem...runs in the family! He's asked me to post for him.  MY ONLY COMMENT...JESUS IS THE TRUTH AND THE WAY...JESUS IS KING!!! Don't worry "big brother" (talking about the powers that decide who posts and who doesn't), this Believer won't bother to post anything more except I pray for you all in Jesus Name!

Vicki

Comment by B'BELT
My dear friends. I have been notified by the forum that I am not allowed to post, and I quote,"We have received
a number of complaints regarding your religious postings in our online forum." I guess I should have stuck to"higher power," in this politically correct society.
  I'll miss you all but want to thank you for your help making it seven days. Keep Fighting, you'll make it. I also hope some of my wisdom thru suffering has been of help to even one person. If I can help my address is ***@****. May the "higher power" bless all of you. I'll miss you, hope a few miss me.
                Blackbelt
  Vick , Will you post this for me. Jesus Lives.

[J. E. W.]

Got it.. You got mail now.. 18 and going strong so far....              J.E.W.

[straightjacket]

i e mailed 18 days stay strong my friend .

[Rex1]

You may find, as I did, that your marriage imprived rapidly.

In my case, my wife helped me through such a rough period, that I now look at her in a new light.

She's awesome. So is your hubby. Stay close to him, during this time, tell him what you are feeling, and also tell him you will be there when he needs you.

Very good byproduct of addiction indeed.

Rex

[Esmith28]

Thank you so much, I took two of my hubbies over the last three days but I have not gone for my own so that is progress not perfection, Tuesday will not offer that option Ibelieve, becaus ethe doctor that cut me off ordered the block so even if they offer them usually (which has anyone ever heard of them giving script when they got a block done?) DONT GET ME A WISHIN'!
I have been better those days were terrible Ihope I wont go right back to that feeling, think Ineed a meeting every day to get hrough that cuz it bites...
Thank you for your prayers...
I told Hubby I have big problem,a dn he is being very understanding and trying to help...
Bless you !!

[HarleyCat]

Hi, I have been thinking and praying for you.  I have read past posts, totally understand.  You only have two more days to hang in there, hon.  YOU CAN DO IT!!  We are all with you, no matter if you get more meds on Tues or not.  You are brave just to have made it through this rough patch.  I am proud of you.  If you want to email me ***@****

Have a great Sunday

Connie

[Esmith28]

I can totally relate to your situation..I have degenterative disc
at L4 and L5-S1 and a hernaition at L5S1 and I have not chosen surgery yet (it has been  a couple of years since I have known) and my doc was giving me Lorcet 10. I am soooo grateful after reading these post I never tried OXY anything..it sounds wicked, I amnot sure what your wanting to do at this point as it wasnt clear...if you think youhave come through withdrawl and dont want to go to go through that again,. then ask for a differnet med....and if you think you can live without the meds then try to do it...I am in hell because I am soooo mentally addcited to the meds, but cant tget them now...long story youwouldhave to read back (just cant go into it again because it makes me mad all over :)anyway it is an ugly circle that kkeeps us chasing our tails...Email me if you want to chat
***@****
Good luck....
Elizabeth

[InsaneinTN]

I am in a situation...I'm trying to stay clean, right?!?!  Well, I do have a bad back (already had surgery...degenerative disk disease..yadda, yadda, yadda), well, my point is tomorrow I have a docs appointment and he gives me 3 month's worth of OC's 40mg.  I want them for the pain that I do experience, but at the same time I don't want them for the pain...I've been med free for one week yesterday.  There is a storm going on here.  All I can think about is tomorrow at 1:45 p.m.  What should I do?

Vicki

[J. E. W.]

I didnt get it. ***@****  Ill keep checking..       J.E.W.