another good day!

[KeepTheHope]

another good day. This is by far the furthest i've been able to get. I first started around thanksgiving at 6easily per day, alot of times this meant 6.5! And when a pill popper says "yea I take 8 - 10 per day" what does that really mean? It means 10! LOL. Can anybody relate tothat? Anyway, posting on here, althouth no face-to-face accountability, is making me want to keep it up. I dont know why. But it is. Also I am being way more disciplined lately, I used to try to be slick and say I took five/day, even if it was 5.5, or even 5.75. Yead i'd milk every tiny fraction of a pill I could. Well now I mean it when I say I took 4 today, I took exactly FOUR. Not four and a half. TO me that alone is huge progress.  

So anyway anyway, its been a few days  now on 4 per day and probably the best news is that I'm sleeping BETTER than I ever was. ?? And the dreams I'm having are so strong and clear! Not sure how thats possible...Maybe good sleep is a fortunate thing and a sign to taper even  more. Actually after reading some more posts (esp one by IBKleen) I've been considering jumping off completely. I dont think i'm gonna though. Too much of a wimp. too much at stake like my job. And being such a hypocondriac. Like right now my neck is stiff and since its only stiff on one side, I have convinced myself that it is cancer. LOL only a hypocondriac makes the jump from stiff neck to cancer.

Mornings are rough....very rough. cold and miserable! A bad combination of cold whether and tapering while having to goto work. 40+ hours per week.  Makes it seem like cold turky is so impossible for me right now. But then again I am making 3/4 of the way through my work day without taking ANY, so how much worse could it be c/t (LOL I dont wanna know right?)

My most visible symptom during the day (until I take a taperd dose) is running nose. And I been sittin at my desk alot cuzz I feel kinda weird, esp before i've had any. I sometimes feel like if I walk around and/or try to "socialize" that somebody will notice that I aint hittin on all cylinders. I dont want that. I just want to stay to myself.

[longweekend]

I will try my best... there are times when I don;t come on here because i am rying to keep my mind off of it, but it seems like you, KeepTheHope  and I could be good for each other.... I am game....

Hang in there worried878.... one day at a time!!!!

[worried878]

I am going into day 4 of my tapering schedule..lets all stay in touch or update each other with the pm messenger

[longweekend]

"Mornings are rough....very rough. cold and miserable! A bad combination of cold whether and tapering while having to goto work. 40+ hours per week.  Makes it seem like cold turky is so impossible for me right now. But then again I am making 3/4 of the way through my work day without taking ANY, so how much worse could it be c/t (LOL I dont wanna know right?) "


WOW... this sounds A LOT like MY story right now... I hear ya...the mornings are VERY hard... that feeling of dread that worried878 mentioned... epecially, I find, when you had a drop in dosage the day before... I sit at a desk for my job like you... it sucks... but then again, I had a rare day off today, just doing homework and watching my 2 year old girl... sounds like a dream day huh? But it was my hardest in almost a week... probably because when I am at work my job is very mentally demanding... at home playing with my daughter was great, but I had too much time to think... I finally put her in the car and we drove down to the beach and watched the waves for awhile... that helped...

anyway, I am here with ya KeepTheHope, I think that we are going to do this... I am a week into my tapering schedule and have NO intention of starting all over....

keep in touch....

[worried878]

Mornings are my worst too...wake with a feeling of dread....did not have it this am tho...was glad...And I also worry if people at work can tell I am sweaty and nervous/fidgety

[IBKleen]

You are doing good honey..please keep it up. God to hear from you............

Big Hugs at ya....