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1436330 tn?1284666036

awkward NA meeting

I went to an NA meeting tonight and it was the most awkard and uncomfortable enviroment ever!!  I went to another one and it was a speaker so not to much conversation, it was ok.  It was dark in parking lot, I was by myself (95lb female), and it looked like 75% of the population was still drunk or high.  I am not trying to be judgemental but I cannot be around that and I know when someone is on something. I have an after care program I just started.  Is that enough for now?  I am also seeing a counselor, my doctor and a psychologist.  I just do not feel comfortable.  The meeting made my skin crawl and freaked me out.
16 Responses
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401095 tn?1351391770
Aftercare is important to long term sobriety.  There is no disputing that.
I also went to NA for a few weeks...I felt the same way..i did not fit in.  Lts were right outta prison and IV drug abusers..and i am not judging..//i could not relate not feel like i fit in
I then tried AA..still took some meeting hopping to find the right one...i learned and benefitted from each tho.  AA uses the same principles as NA//and many r cross addicted...substance abuse is substance abuse, no matter what the substance may be.

I landed in a ladies aa group...most of them were professionals...probably half had experience with narcotic abuse as well.  I like u felt that since i was a narcotic abuser..na was where i should go.  
Look at the list of mtgs...go to a few...try a few aa mtgs...u will learn sumpin from every mtg u go to.
Helpful - 0
1436330 tn?1284666036
I actually live in a nice area but like you said there are a couple bad eggs no matter what enviroment your in.  I am just new to all this and that is scary in itself.  I will keep trying. :)
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Avatar universal
Hi,

I agree with you that yr post was about yr feelings and that is what this forum is all about, if we hide our feelings how can we expect to get any help?

I feel the same about na meetings as you do and whereas i would choose drugs on every occasion i get all my sobriety and clean time from aa.  Many other people have said the same thing. Na practice the same 12 step programme as you know but i found little long term clean time and somehow lack of identification, resulting in me feeling that i didn't fit in!  I can get all the identifacation i need in aa and i find the support far greater in these rooms. I use aa meetings for my alcoholism and addictions, for example when i hear the need the a drink first thing in the morning i remember my desperate early morning need for a joint! etc etc

I wouldn't bother going back to that meeting again if it were me,  there are loads out there, we are so lucky to have so much choice . . . and this shows it works.

Hope you find a meeting to suit you, there is one there for you, keep trying, best of luck.
Lynne
Helpful - 0
1435456 tn?1314674659
I would just like to add that there are a few bad eggs everywhere you go. Church, work, everywhere (family reunions) lol. Such is life, that being said, I am sure some are better than others. Good luck Chronic, you are doing great.
Helpful - 0
1428440 tn?1287390379
I guess for one thing it could be the area you live in. I have heard people say that before. I felt the same way when I first started NA and I didn't want to be in the same meetings as those who were forced to go by the courts. I was not like them and I was out searching for help on my own admitted addiction. I was wrong to feel that way. How is someone every going to get an idea of what NA is about if not given the opportunity to  attend meetings. Yeah maybe they are not ready to stop now, but it is something they will find for themselves when they are ready. That is that there is help out there.

My brother-in-law is a NA/AA and was ordered over and over by the court system in LA California to attend regular meetings. He seemed to always find the worse of the bunch to become attached too. He would thus end up worse than what he started out to be. He has been around and around with his addictions. He is on and off like a light bulb. He was going to go to prison the last time and I stepped in and told the court that I would take him back to Indiana with me and see that he got help and counseling. He has been back here for 8yrs and is doing better. I caught him one time smoking some pot with a teenage boy and then found a girlfriend at NA who we let him spend time with for about 1 yr and found out she was getting him pot from her brother and friend. He is sort of the type you are talking about meeting.

Then I started going to NA regularly when I decided to get clean off of vics and somas. I did not feel real comfortable at first. But finally started to fit in. What I am saying I guess is that there are truly good people in these meetings and lots of good fellowship to find. Just don't let the bad ones keep you from getting the support you need.

Look for the ones there with the most clean time. Talk to them, and also talk to the ones that participate in the meetings like the one controlling the meetings, the GSR, the secretary and so on. From there and talking with these individual you will find out who is there to get real support and who are really involved in their own recovery. Just remember that not everyone is bad. I have found a few good friends and even volunteer to open the Wednesday night meetings by going early before meeting and opening the church, making coffee and setting up chairs and getting literature out on the tables before the meetings.

I hope you find this helpful, I hate to see you give up so easily. I live in the Midwest and from meetings I have attended in this area and surrounding states has had great fellowships. It always helps being reminded that you are not alone in your addiction or recovery.
Helpful - 0
1436330 tn?1284666036
I will never give up trying other meetings but I feel my post was true to my feelings  and that is what this forum is all about.  E.veryone has their different view and I never mean to scare anyone but I feel what I feel, that is my truth.  I am very opened minded and that is why  I ask advise and take what I can from that and use it to help me with my sobriety.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Don't get discouraged!!!!

I went to a meeting on a native reserve and I was the only white guy there among some pretty scary looking dudes (and dudettes).

I also hold a professional position and seriously.....my detox has me not weighing too much myself.

They welcomed me just as they welcomed each other; like they meant it.  I have found a home there now.  The saddest part for me is that it only occurs once per week.

Please don't give up, do as others have advised, try AA, try some different NA mtgs.....but don't stop.  

You are worth it and you won't be sorry,

bob
Helpful - 0
1230655 tn?1344257799
I know where you are coming from, but give it a chance. My first NA meeting was in a building that looked like it was next to a crack house. But I went in and felt a lot of love. I found another group  closer to me, but I still go back there on sundays. AA is also good if you feel more comfortable. Just keep going somewhere!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I attended N/A for awhile and it's not best suited for me, BUT for the most part it is an amazing support group, with most of the members that truly care. I took a lot out of the meetings and learned a lot. You don't have to go to N/A or A/A, there are other kinds of aftercare too.

One thing I must say is I think your post is discouraging to people here that are maybe thinking of attending a meeting and could save them and your making it sound terrifying. Not good!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Try AA
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I love NA and I've been to AA as well.  NA worked out the best for me. I'm a legal professional and I fit in great.  You just have to give it a chance. But it depends on the meeting too.  And the area I guess. Like the NA meetings I went to 100 miles south in the beach town I lived in, were different - quite different - from the NA meetings I went to in the suburbs of the big city 100 miles north.  But everyone is there for the same reason to try to stay clean. I really liked the beach meetings better though.  Try AA. You will be great. Listen and watch and take what you like and don't take what you don't like. Good luck to you. It can be a great journey if you are dedicated to staying clean.  As the posts above mentioned, counselors and therapy can be great too.  
Helpful - 0
1432897 tn?1322959537
Hi chronic,

95 lbs!!!!!  What happens when the wind blows???  LOL!!!!  Ok, seriously,  I've never been to an NA mtg although I have heard a lot people say they prefer AA mtgs over Na mtgs.  I've always found them to be very friendly and nobody ever messed with me.  I'm also 6'4" and 290lbs.  He hehe!!!!!  You may even want to find a friend in the rooms to go NA mtgs. with until you are more comfortable.  If it is an "open" mtg you can go with anyone you want.  If you again find 75% of the population is high stick with the 25% that isn't.  Those will be the people that we learn how to stay clean and sober from.
Helpful - 0
617347 tn?1331293081
Don't worry...  :)

i attend an addiction therapist, so don't feel anxious ...if you work on it, it works too...and meanwhile, if you want more support from other addicts and work the 12 step program.. take your time to find a meeting you feel confortable with, i would think this is very important...the same with your counselor and therapist, i clicked on with mine from the start but being not this  the case or have i seen that i was not progressing i would have changed the person at once. This is a long run, CM .
Helpful - 0
1436330 tn?1284666036
Thanks to all the comments.  Yes, I got your message and resonded with my normal smart A@# remarks.  Gotta laught sometimes
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HI meetings dont work for everyone ....I used A/A 5yr5mo ago to set down the alcohol and weed and a few other recreational drugs but today I prefer a substance abuse conslor
with one on one therapy it sounds like you have other stuff in place you should be fine
im really lucky here in phoenix we have a great outdoor N/a meeting up at north mountain
I try to get there when im craving or at lest 2times a month when im not...btw I sent you a message about some stuff you can do that may get you some sleep check your e/mail
good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  
Helpful - 0
725350 tn?1318680468
Try AA, I've found typically more people 'like us' are in those meetings. Don't be worried that it is for alcohol, I'd say around 75% of people in AA were addicted to drugs too. It is a lot more comfortable for me in most AA meetings as compared to NA meetings. Sorry for the bad meeting, I promise there are really good ones out there!
Helpful - 0
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