been gone for a long time

[BeyondScrewed]

if nyone even remembrs me just thought id pop my head in n let yall know im still alive
ive put muself to hell n back bout 5 times since i was here lsst and though i am not completely drug free yet im happy to say that at last my head has cleared and this is the best and lowest ive been since i started 8 years ago and im only getting better
oh and my beautiful new woman who accepts me flaws and all......said yes to being my wife ;-)

[Pat1956100]

Wow, you seem to be doing well.
I don't think you need to worry about the black/white thing at all.  I have no patience with ignorant people either.
It's them that has the problem.

Hopefully you can get off of everything.  You know how much we would love to hear that but you have really come a long way and you seem very happy.

[smiles4eva]

So relieved to see you check in. Congrats on the progress you have made :)

[BeyondScrewed]

wow lots of questions :-)
biggest problem currently is so very little sleep hence the post at 2 am. my weight? ive actually gained 13 lbs back. everyonr says how much healthier i look and the woman loves it cause she says im nice n warm to snuggle on ha
what am i doing differently and coming off what?
well at my worst i wud wear 2. 50mcg fent patches. eat snort and or smoke nywhere from 60-180 mg oxy. and shoot 1-2 grams of very pure H Everyday. now......i have on 1 25 mcg patch and ive takrn 45 mg oxy in the last 2,5 days. i honestly and truly have no desire to get high nymore. i know i kniw but its true
i want my new life and new wife. the one issue there is im white. she is black
certsin people dont like that snd i know i need to grow some thick skin
i just have no patience for ignorant people. nyway ill check in tommorow. gonna attempt to sleep

[nursegirl6572]

Hey there, welcome back.  I have to be honest, I too had wondered many times if you were still around.  I wonder if that bothers you to know that many people figured you had probably succumbed to your addiction and died?  That is really very sad and scary!  That's some really crazy stuff!

I'm glad to see you are still here, and I'm glad you're trying, and I'll repeat the great questions you were asked.....what are you going to do different this time?  I want to post a link to the last thread you started here, almost a year ago....

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/not-giving-up-but-frustrated/show/1915140#post_8942587

I would recommend reading it and rereading it.  One thing I'll give you is that when you set your mind to it, you give it he**.....but you have totally neglected ever following up with a long term plan (aftercare), you often fail to cut your sources, and put roadblocks up for yourself.  You focus on GETTING clean and that's where it ends for you, which is why you're a cyclical relapser.  

You've been doing this a LONG time, and pretty hardcore.  SOMETHING has to drastically change, you know that, we've told you that before.  This IS a life and death battle.  This time simply HAS to be different for you, or it will likely just be more of the same....the merry go round, the cycle.  Your body is only going to take so much, and you've already done some damage I'm sure, especially with some of the drugs you used.

I'm so glad you have a great new fiancee in your life (is she the same one you talked about in the thread I linked above?)....you have a lot of incentive to get clean, to be the husband and Dad you KNOW you can be.  

As always, I wish you the very best.

[vicki595]

I was just thinking about you...it's so funny!  I have to admit that I thought the same as Ricart so I'm really glad you checked in...

So you're getting better and better?  Is your new gal helping you?  When do you expect to be totally off of everything?  So many questions...LOL How much do you weigh?   kidding  

Please stick around so we can help you, okay?

[Jimmy1975]

I remember you . Welcome back ! What are your plans and what are you down to now if I may ask . You know we support people rather if they're stopping or not and just need an ear for their concerns . Good luck to you , Jimmy

[dominosarah]

What are your plans for aftercare?  Have you been with this girl a long time?

[ROSYouralright]

Welcome back.. I didn't know you then but look forward to getting to know you now! Congratulations on your engagement!! What are you tapering from & how much? I guess you know what to expect in terms of aftercare and stuff, have you formed an aftercare plan? What are the things your going to do differently this time?

[ricart70]

I have thought about you more than a few times and was hoping that you are ok still.

[ricart70]

Glad you are still alive ;)

[BeyondScrewed]

tapering slowly has never worked forme
making large drops

[IBKleen]

Are you tapering hun?