can i really do this?

[lysah]

i am contemplating going off or at least tapering way down on my meds when my mom goes on vacation the 29th. i have 4 kids and have not been able to get off pain medication even thomy back pain is so much better now. i am  44 years old and started using dexedrine tuinol and valium,perscribed for me by my dads doctor when i was 14. i got sober when iwas 21 at a christian care center where i lived for a year. it was a beautiful farm in n.h. and i learned alot about God and nothing about recovery. when i got out i thought with God and a year under my belt iwould be fine. i stayed pretty much sober, got married a year after i left the program and had four kids ages 12,14,16,18. i started drinking a bit when my youngest was1. she is 12 now and its been a roller-coaster with drugs and alcohol. i guess ive been sober about half of the last 12 years. i was doing great until i herniated 2 discs in my lower back about 3 years ago. my doc. is big on opiate pain control, and will prescribe me anything i ask for. surprisingly i have gone from 32 5mgoxycodone a day to about 24. i just started taking dilaudid maybe 20 mg a day about 2months ago. try as i might i cant seem to taper on my own. my mom is leaving the 29th of jan. i can go to her house to detox for up to 3 weeks. does any one think it is realistic for me to get completely off the quantity of meds im on in a week? i do not have health insurance so cant go to treatment. i can go to aa meetings,for relapse prevention. i think i dont know but think i can manageback pain with non narcotic meds. my husband is really suppoertive and would probably be thrilled if my libido showed up again. i am a weenie about withdrawals but its time to do something. christo on this forum has been extremely helpful in feed- back re; meds to ease w/d symptoms.maybe i should just try to do a huge taperlike from 24 oxy to 10 and then like once the ball is rolling ill keep going. i know i need to go to another doctor to get valium, clonidine and  something else. im afraid to go to my pain doctor anymore because hes just so eager to try a new drug he suggested demerol last time. i just want to get off em and not go back to him. does any one have any feed back? any ideas on how to do this by myself? sorry this is so long. this is my first forum of any kind, ever. my name is lisa and i live east of seattle at the base of the cascade mountains. hello

[lysah]

thanks for the support. thats the verse my mom always quoted to me when i was growing up. now she quotes the one He who bagan a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ. funny shes been through hell with my dad being an addict all 4 of her kids struggled with addiction but her license plate reads joel2;24 theLord will restore  the years the locusts have eaten. im sure i am part of her miracle. i have been preety drug free untill i herniated 2 discs in my lower back. i think i can get off narcotics with Gods help. please pray for me. thank you, lysah

[benzo1961]

YES YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR HEAD TO. AND OH YEA, WELCOME TO THE FORUM, THERE IS ALOT OF GREAT PEOPLE HERE TO HELP YOU THROUGH THIS, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY, BUT JUST REMEMBER I CAN DO ALLTHINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHICH STREGHTHEN'S ME.  THE LORD IS A GREAT TOOL, HE'S ALWAY'S WITH US. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS    KEEP US POSTED.  JENNIFER   :)

[lysah]

hi melodie, unfortunately there are no free 30 programs that i know of.  my husband is really supportive and said hell take care of the kids as long as i need him too. i just have no idea what im getting into. is it realistic for me to taper from 24 oxy's a day, plus 20 mg dilaudid in say 1 or 2 weeks. thanks for your prayers i believe God really wants to be controlling my mood instead of opiates. so im willing but want to be smart about it. thanks, lisa

[melodie79]

Hi I am new tho this forum but I wanted to say good for you. I hope you make it thru.  I can relate I am also a mother and am addicted to oxy's.  I hope you stick with this, and get well.  I know how hopeless things might feel at times but I know you can do this.  It will be hard,, you can come on here to get support.  please keep me informed on how your doing,, I am crossing my fingers for you. wow 4 kids that tough.  Will they be with your mom while you detox???  Your doctor seems like part of the problem.  The more he offers the worse off you will be.  I am from ontario,, and alot of 30 days treatment programs are free here.  Have you checked around your area for somewhere you can detox safely.  Salvation army helps alot of people with addictions.  Maybe try them?? I am praying for you and I hope you make it.  I am always here if you want to talk.....love melodie

[snowflake620]

yes it is doable but it won't be easy. if you are not strong enough to taper on your own can hubby hold pills for you?please keep posting as there are more on here that know way more than I do,but good luck to you and welcome
snowflake

[lysah]

thank you for your encouragement. i think im oing to taper off dilaudid starting tomorrow. then i am going to ask my pain doc. for valium, clonodine and ill start thomas recipe. as soon as im off dilaudid i will head to my moms empty house and try to get off the oxycodone by going down 4 pills a day. i am not strong enough to taper slowly over a long period of time. my life is so demanding i can never just take a day off from my 4 kids to feel like ****. besides i dont have to work at all for a month so timing seems right. im just worried its too fast but i see some people go cold turkey. i think it will be like going to an opiate detox center? have you ever done this kind of fast detox before? thanks for welcoming me. i really hope i am doing the right thing.thanks again

[scaredmom330]

hi! Welcome to our community...I think it is doable...you need to check out the thomas recipe and amino acid protocol at the bottom right of the page..they will help you...if you have the will power tapering might be a good idea because of the quanity of oxy you are taking...keep posting, and reading threads..stay with us we are here to support you. take care and good luck