i am 19 and have a serious problem with painkillers.. i am an athelete at one of the largests colleges in the country. this kind of stuff is so common among my friends and aquaintinces, even my girlfriend who orginially got me hooked( she has a perscription for legit reason). i recently got in some troble with the law with marijuana and on nov 4th i will enter a sort of "drug court" to avoid a conviction on charges. i witnessed a court hearing where many of the people failed frug tests and were sentenced to go to jail for certain period of time. i am scared to death to go to jail i want nothing to do with jail. but i am so addicted i find it almost impossible to stop. i have been working my way up from about 10mg of whatever kind of paidkiller i could get(OC, HYDRO) all the way up to the level im at now 30-40mg. this is everyday for about a year but it jus got to this high level about a few months ago. the way i ake them is usually to snort it. i have a question if anyone can answer it .. how long will this kind of prolonged use as well as snorting leave this stuff in my system, and how can i stop im scared to death of going to jail and ruining my life. someone please help ..
Stop snorting pronto! it hits u faster and makes wds harder...space out ur pills if u want to taper into small amounts like .5 mg and SWALLOW it...at your dose you can CT without alot of probems...flu-like for a few days..mentally it is harder...support groups, the thomas recipe and ann exercise routine helps so much and u r an athlete so that is in ur favor..read up in the health pages on tapering and CT..the thomas recipe and the dopamine effect....keep posting..making a plan is the first step to recovery
thank you for your advice. to me it is much more of a mental addiction. all i can think about all day is, "when can i do my next pill?" I'm actually in the process now of trying to track some down, which is really sad when im on a revocery site trying to stop my problem. this ***** :(
yes it is a urine test. its gona be so hard to just top CT ahhhh. im going to do my best b/c my future is at stake. im aware that all of these problems are brought on myself and i have always took full responsibility for that. its just hard when it feels like im so alone in this and it feels like its impossible. i went though the same thing with smoking marijuana, as i smoked everydy for about 2 years. about a month ago i was fianlly able to quit for good so i guess i can take that and use it for this as well .. anyone with advice please keep posting it would help a lot ..
glad you came t this site, there is alot of support here. but, you have to be committed to quitting. and that means you have to break all ties to your pill supply. sad to say, but as an addict if we can get pills we will use them. i had to cut all ties to my legal and illegal suppliers. this is hard but very doable. i too was a snorter. as worried said you have to stop that. so much of addiction recovery is all about will power and determination...you have to make a plan and not veer off course. if you have ccourt on nov. 4, you better get started. we are here for support, but you gotta do the work. if we can help let us know.
YEP...like cathy said...u gotta do the work....and we are here...looking for some right now when u r in trouble is not a good sign..let this be your bottom...dont go any lower..u may not be able to pull urself out...addiction has a way of cycling...u get in trouble financially or at a job/school etc...due to the pills and instead of putting them down, u feel u need them more cos u r stressed and depressed...gotta break the cycle...some have to hit a very low bottom and lose everything to finally quit...where do u want to be at in this chain of events? this addiction stuff does not get better...only worse
worried makes a very good point! Looking for some NOW when you are in trouble is not a good sign! How long ago did you get in trouble for the pot? Knowing you were going to have to appear and have to take a drug test, it would have been wise to either stop right then (when the pot thing happened) or do a taper....however, I don't want to beat you up because I have learned that no one can beat an addict up as well as they can beat themselves up. This is going to be a very close call for you (and I hope a great lesson!) as far as popping a negative on the drug screen and I hope you can do it! The keyword here is YOU.....YOU have to learn from this and YOU have to do the work! Good luck!
yes i am fully committed i have no other choice unless i want to spend the rest of my life in and out of jail and rehab since i have a highly addictive personality. ive said " this is it, this is the last one" quite a few times now and i just find that talking about it helps, although i have a very limited support system when it comes to that. also i have hit rock bottom financially as i have suscessfully blown all the money i had on my addiction, and have been taking some pretty extreme measures to get money as a result. lying to family about needed money has been torturing me and i feel like the biggest piece of scum on earth. i just want this all to end its been too long and too hard. thanks for the support guys it means a lot.
ending it is up to you. if you are trying to track some down you must still have sources. you have to eliminate the source. that is the first step in committment. if you dont stop now you run a real risk of jail....i hope it does not come to that. i have heard others talk about getting clean behind bars...it didnt sound like something i wanted to do. you can do it but it has to start NOW....
I agree with what some others have told you here.To do this you are going to have to dis-associate yourself from the people you are getting it from and the people in your circle that are still actively abusing drugs.You have to make an honest effort to free your life from anything that has to do with drugs of any kind.Another thing that helps a lot of us stay accountable for our recovery is to come clean to our families.It's not easy but most times it's cleansing,feels like a big weight has been lifted off your shoulders,not having to lie and sneak around anymore.Thats no way to live.Often times our families become our biggest support system,they appreciate our honesty and our efforts to change and repair what addiction has done to our lives as well as theirs.You can do this and I wish you all the best....Kim
i cannot go to jail to do it i cannot do that to my family. since my source is illegal most of the time and im not really friends with him, i should be able to eliminate the source. its so hard with my highly addictive personality. i know it is soley my responsibility to stop and i am going to stop NOW, i have no other choice (easier said than done). please keep the support and advice coming it means a lot and will help me greatly. thank you so much
thank you for the advice and i will do my best to disassi\ociate myself from this lifestyle. it would be so hard to come clean with my family about my problem, but i have reached a point where i might have to do just that. thanks again kim.
I also got rid of all possible connections! I was an on-line user, & went as far as to shredding ALL of my medical records & changing e-mail address & HOME addresses! I was THAT SERIOUS!!! You have to want it & then you CAN DO IT!!! Is it easy? NO! Is it worth it? HELL YEAH!!!! Good Luck!
Hon trust me I know what you mean about it being hard.I'm a mom and I have 3 grown kids and one of the roughest most shameful times in my life was having to sit them down and tell them that I was an addict.All the years of me telling them to stay away from drugs and here I was confessing this to them.I knew once I let those words come out of my mouth though,there was no taking them back,my excuses for my addictive behavior weren't going to hold water any more,I was definitely going to be held accountable for all my actions,and I wasn't going to be able to pull the wool over their eyes anymore. Although it was a shameful moment for me,it was also a huge step in beginning my road to recovery,and theres no shame in that.I was ashamed of myself but my family could not have been more proud of me.I can remember crying so hard once I told them I could barely catch my breath and my daughter said to me 'mom why are you crying.You know you have a problem and now you're going to fix it thats a good thing.'From that day on letting them or myself down anymore was no longer an option. Peace...Kim
thank you for sharing your experience. if this last ditch attempt to stop on my own doesn't work, thats what i;ll have to do to put pressure on myself to quit.im tired of the lying and decieving, so ill have to make a choice and hopefully its the right one. god bless and congradulations on your sobriety. hopefully i will be able to do the same
Hon all you have to do is want it bad enough....more then anything else in the world right now.Desire and commitment to get clean are our most powerful weapons in this fight.Keep posting...lots of great people here to help see you through this.
Please try your hardest NOW! My son is 18, senior in high school, incredible athlete, had many colleges scouting him, and now.....In rehab far from home. Please as a mother, I am begging you to get some counseling and help. If you can't do that, let your family try to help. I tried for a very long time, but he couldn't get past the DESIRE to keep using. It apparently is stronger than the love his family has for him. We have not given up on him, but are very unsure what the future holds. Try to do as these people say on here. They have helped me for quite awhile now in dealing with my son. They know what they're talking about! Please, start now, today, and make the right choice. It sounds like you have alot of the same things going for you that my son had. Don't lose it! Being an athlete takes alot of discipline and desire, so I know you have it in you! Take care and as a mom, don't go down that road any further.
thanks for your advice. i am trying to occupy my mind with other things right now rather than on pills. its so hard after using everyday for so long im just trying anything i can. hopefully i can continute to stay off of pills
no pills in easy reach like cathy said...no friends, dealers or doctors..u gotta tell them all u quit..u dont have to go into detail..i told my dealer that i lost my job and never heard from again...told my doctors i was afraid of them and felt i could have a problem if i didnt quiit..i am a nurse so didnt want to tell them i "did " have a problem as they work in my hosptial...but they dont offer them anymore..told my friend who traded drugs with me that I had a problem...my other pill friend quit with me...i also told my mother so she would hold me accountable..and my bulldog/watch dog/best friend who bitched at me but kept me straight..it was hard to do.but i had to
people , places , n things bro.
change the people you hang wit , the places ya go, and the things ya did while using. i know thas harder for pill users, but it does work for all addictions. biggest thing here is , ya gotta stop YOURSELF. thas wuz my biggest problem. if ya dont buy a pill, crush a pill, or snort a pill, you will be clean. I know its not easy as it sounds but thinka this
if you test positive, you won be doin ne more sports in college. If ya get too involved, ya can kiss college goodbye. If ya keep goin ya may end up in jail, which sux trust me, but wut sux worse is comin outta jail lookin to score cuz ya got a monkey on ya back to feed. your young bro, time to kick this **** n live the life you were workin on b4 pills got to ya.
great way to put it man that helps a lot looking at it like that. need to stop or everything i have is gona be gone. i realize that stupid pills arent worth ruining my life. easier said then done as im on day 1 without anything and the craving are outrageous, but im trying to hold strong. just trying to keep my mind occupied with other things. thanks guys.
Real quick........I pitched 6 years in the Padres Org. and just left Coaching Pitchers at a D-1 school here where I live. I've been Psychologically and Physically dependant for 10 years and its worse than anything you can imagine. You are on a collision course with a train and who do you think is going to win?
Do yourself a favor, and call your Dr. tomorrow and tell him exactly what you have posted here tonight. If you don't do it tomorrow then you will never do it and one day soon, if you make it, you will popping 5 to get up, 5 to go to work, 5 at lunch....get the picture? Don't blow your career or your life. Go get help!
yea im a pitcher as well. i find that it makes my recovery times between starts easier on my arm and that has also helped to further my addiction. i even used before summer league games this summer and thought nothing of it. ive even used during practices for college and its pathetic i know. baseball is my life and its come to a point where its baseball or pills. i love baseball way too much to let addiction ruin my carreer its just so freakin hard to quit. im trying my best to occupy my mind with the phillies and stuff but once its over idk what im going to occupy myself with. its a constant struggle mentally and physically. anyone have suggestions on what i can occuy my time any mind on besides this addiction? thanks for the advice tuck if i cant succeed this time im going to have to do just that.
I know you want to quit...you have too. I just quit cold turkey a month ago after taking 5-10mg percocet 5 times a day. After 10 + yrs of taking it after I retired...I never took it when I pitched. If I had been taking it during that time, I would be taking 40 a day because of the tolerance you build up and your size etc....Anyway wing yourself off, you can......you're an athlete. Remember Brett Favre? Since you're a Philliies fan I played with Darren Daulton..bad knees, but battled........Dave Hollins and Lenny Dykstra. Just replace it with running and get in shape...get your legs, play long tss 3x a week and hit the weight room instead of the bars. I probably know somebody where you're at and get you hooked up. Good Luck!
Im telling you that you need to quit cold turkey now if you want any chance of a clean drug test! You do not want to go to jail and especially have to detox there too! I personally haven't been to jail ever but, I have heard that they treat you horribly and don't give a **** about you if your detoxing off drugs. You better stop right this minute! Go take a ride rocking out to music! Listening to music, I know helps people a lot when they detox and keeps their mind off the pills. When I had some energy after detoxing, I went for rides in my car, listening to music, singing. It really hepls! I will pray for ya!
i love music and will definatley try using that too keep my mind off pills. i am going to stop CT tomorrow i have told my girlfriend to stop funding my habit and am trying to get her to stop with me. hopefully that will force me to stop, and it should since im broke from wasting all my money on pills. thank you for the prayers i will need it. thanks for caring guys it means a lot. jail is not something i want to do i am scared to death to go there. its time to grow up and be an adult.
a good way to get clean faster is drink cranberry juice and do a lot of running and working out. thats how ive always passed my drug tests. drink energy drinks with niacin in them too. but you cant be taking any pills,. working out will make you feel better during the w/d's also. when I was on probation it was the dawn of my vicodin days which is stupid seeing as i had drug tests but i would always quit taking them a week prior to my drug tests and do all of the above. but i didnt get carried away with em till a year after like you, I was a hockey player.
doing well so far. amazing celebration last night in the heart of philadelphia. never seen anything like it in my entire life. and i didnt even do a pill!! (did get **** drunk tho haha). but yea the w/d ***** just an exausted tired feeling all day every day. gota stay stong. thanks for the support and PHILLIES '08 WORLD SERIES CHAMPS!!!
IF you get off easy this time you better never forget that it doesnt get any easier..........keep your head on straight.....it sounds like you always leave a mental opening for yourself.......we all have addictive personalities here....stay strong or you wont ever see the major leagues......or the goal you set for baseball....
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