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Hi friends on day 6 here off the subs. Im proud of myself today i was able to get out for a few hours. I went to my cousins who does not use opiates. Im able to get real honest with him which is helping also reminesing about the past brought out some good belly laughs lol anyway still fatigued still emotional but pushing through! thank you for everyone who has responded to my posts. thank you
Believe it or not in my opinion I tthink doctors try to kill u on all dem drugs I think it a money thing but that opinion ty kp pushing don't let it beat u ur better than it much love peace
that is horrible!! yet amazing u were able to jump off the subs like that at that dose! it makes me think that everything happens for a reason and some people must really need to go through pure hell to come out the other side i commend you for making a choice that is not easy... we arent weak people.. sensitive maybe...:)
oh i do appreciate that, Its alot alot has happened. Very painfull stuff but its almost like I cant think about it to much partly because if i do i wont stop crying lol but also because of my past i live in it and it messes with me.. lesson number one people dont live in the past no matter how tragic. easier for some harder for others i guess its my curse. i feel the need to hold onto the past so i feel like im a person with a identity because i have dealt with loss. seems normal to me to feel like that but apparently if you do that in life u have no future..
You post your golden heart out, Trev!!! I love reading your posts...and I KNOW it helps to vent and get stuff outta ya.
I can totally relate to NOT feeling good enough at 7 days off subs to go out and go to a meeting. I was on subs for 28 days and knew NOTHING about them going "on" them....OR getting "off" them. I was referred to this psych dr by my primary.....she didn't tell me what subs were and neither did they!! They just though I was there to "feel good"???? I saw this wack psych dr a total of 3 times....he didn't ask any questions about my abuse prior to arriving at his door step....told me to STAY on my AD and put me on 16 mg of subs!!! I had gotten myself from 30 pills down to 10 pills (10 mg hydros) by the time I saw him all sick, scared and wacked out myself.
I had serotonin syndrome and then he put me on the 16 mg of subs which was equiv to 480 mg of hydros and I was only coming off 100 mgs??????
I went nuts......just PLAIN *** CRAZY. I did!!! I jumped off at 16 mgs too. Needless to say....your ride was MUCH different than mine on those 28 days of subs.....but I couldn't even drive for 60 days!!!! I was completely crazy.....talking to people that weren't in the room, hearing music on a radio station and there wasn't even one on!!!
I healed.....and I'm here now.....that's what counts, right? So you are doing fabulous at 7 days off subs....and I totally get it that you need a little more time to physically feel better before you hit some meetings.
The whole deal with your brother is a heart breaker......I totally GET codependency......I grew up in an alcoholic home...and your original story ripped my heart right out. What an amazing son you are/were. BUT.....you know that you won't even be around to help that addicted bro of yours if you don't learn how to stay clean, right? When the time comes...he will have just the right person in his life to help him.
I have more than one immediate family member still "out there"....and I can tell you what I'm learning......usually.....NOT always....but usually....it isn't a family member that does the saving and helping. They've listened to us for SO long that they have this special "filter out" devise on their brains.....so it may just take another loving soul to help your brother.
I'm glad you are here......and it sounds like your feet are on some solid ground now so you can get and stay clean once again. Thanks for not being intimidated or misunderstanding all my questions.....I just felt a special connection to your heart....and wanna help any way I can~
I can totally relate to NOT feeling good enough at 7 days off subs to go out and go to a meeting. I was on subs for 28 days and knew NOTHING about them going "on" them....OR getting "off" them. I was referred to this psych dr by my primary.....she didn't tell me what subs were and neither did they!! They just though I was there to "feel good"???? I saw this wack psych dr a total of 3 times....he didn't ask any questions about my abuse prior to arriving at his door step....told me to STAY on my AD and put me on 16 mg of subs!!! I had gotten myself from 30 pills down to 10 pills (10 mg hydros) by the time I saw him all sick, scared and wacked out myself.
I had serotonin syndrome and then he put me on the 16 mg of subs which was equiv to 480 mg of hydros and I was only coming off 100 mgs??????
I went nuts......just PLAIN *** CRAZY. I did!!! I jumped off at 16 mgs too. Needless to say....your ride was MUCH different than mine on those 28 days of subs.....but I couldn't even drive for 60 days!!!! I was completely crazy.....talking to people that weren't in the room, hearing music on a radio station and there wasn't even one on!!!
I healed.....and I'm here now.....that's what counts, right? So you are doing fabulous at 7 days off subs....and I totally get it that you need a little more time to physically feel better before you hit some meetings.
The whole deal with your brother is a heart breaker......I totally GET codependency......I grew up in an alcoholic home...and your original story ripped my heart right out. What an amazing son you are/were. BUT.....you know that you won't even be around to help that addicted bro of yours if you don't learn how to stay clean, right? When the time comes...he will have just the right person in his life to help him.
I have more than one immediate family member still "out there"....and I can tell you what I'm learning......usually.....NOT always....but usually....it isn't a family member that does the saving and helping. They've listened to us for SO long that they have this special "filter out" devise on their brains.....so it may just take another loving soul to help your brother.
I'm glad you are here......and it sounds like your feet are on some solid ground now so you can get and stay clean once again. Thanks for not being intimidated or misunderstanding all my questions.....I just felt a special connection to your heart....and wanna help any way I can~
you right i need meetings i could write a thosand post really i need a sponser and work the steps i know i just feel bad for whoever is gunna be my sponser some day because I have alot of emotional baggage haha for right now it feels good to post and maybe help just one person just one person who is detoxing off heroin and give advice as to maybe stay away from benadryl because one time i had really bad rls when i took it under the same circumstance .. you know?
the countless times i tried to get him to be honest and i was sober and he couldnt do it and i just fell right back into it after a year of being clean from a 4 year battle. The countless times he would fix infront of me because even tho it killed me i didnt want him to have to go and sit on a toilet in the bathroom dont you think its funny how us axdict go sit on a s h i t t e r to use drugs sorry so emotional to talk about it but its probably good sorry for posting so much
oh connie you are awsome.. lol i like it :) currently my brother is in san francisco bassically bay area with some girl named ( gypsy) and im not even kidding about that i think he is staying up there hopefully for good the truth is i have a tough choice to make in my heart i know he cant be in my life and it hirts reallly deep because he is really the only family i have. i really hope he stays up there he was is a big reason why i use to be honest. co dependent relationship for sure but its hard when mom died he was 15 we both never met our dads blah blah whatever
im in a good envirement right now im living with my gf of 6 years shes a nurse at a nicu at a hospital awsome person very supportive no not able to really be contacted by anyone.
i need meetings deff i feel i need a little more time to get my strength up maybe just 2 more days or so
I really worry about me and my brothers relationship it kills me everyday it was so hard to see him doing so bad that i felt like i jad to do it with him very painfull to talk about i appreciate it. I hope i answered some questions
im in a good envirement right now im living with my gf of 6 years shes a nurse at a nicu at a hospital awsome person very supportive no not able to really be contacted by anyone.
i need meetings deff i feel i need a little more time to get my strength up maybe just 2 more days or so
I really worry about me and my brothers relationship it kills me everyday it was so hard to see him doing so bad that i felt like i jad to do it with him very painfull to talk about i appreciate it. I hope i answered some questions
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hey.....I know your tired (exhausted probably more like it)...but keep pushing yourself! Quite impressive you were able to get out of the house, I know I sure couldn't have, especially NOT on day 6! Keep moving forward and you will see a slight improvement every day. Remember to stay hydrated and positive. I found music, positive music helped a lot!
Hey Trev....Congrats on being TOTALLY CLEAN for 7 DAYS!!!!
I'm so glad you're done and out of the game....but I have some questions, ok? LOL (surprise??? eh?)
Do you still live with your brother that shoots the subs every day? Are you still living in an environment where you hear about the calls and the deals?
I can't tell from what you've share......I just hope you aren't still around all that business....especially your brother.
You know I'm gonna tell you how WORTHY you ARE....and encourage you to face your fears and get your butt to a meeting don'tcha? You have a golden heart......and so much to share with others....not to mention how much it would bless you. Yes, it's a commitment....but a huge weight will come off of you when you follow thru. Are you working right now?
See? Toldja.....hahaha.....I can't help a 29 yr old in my life that I love with my WHOLE heart....so maybe, just maybe I can help you. What say you?
Blessings Trev,
Connie
I'm so glad you're done and out of the game....but I have some questions, ok? LOL (surprise??? eh?)
Do you still live with your brother that shoots the subs every day? Are you still living in an environment where you hear about the calls and the deals?
I can't tell from what you've share......I just hope you aren't still around all that business....especially your brother.
You know I'm gonna tell you how WORTHY you ARE....and encourage you to face your fears and get your butt to a meeting don'tcha? You have a golden heart......and so much to share with others....not to mention how much it would bless you. Yes, it's a commitment....but a huge weight will come off of you when you follow thru. Are you working right now?
See? Toldja.....hahaha.....I can't help a 29 yr old in my life that I love with my WHOLE heart....so maybe, just maybe I can help you. What say you?
Blessings Trev,
Connie
Omgoish slomedz, this paragraph really hit home with me, as it was if I wrote it myself! So glad to be done with that crap!! Keep plugging, you are doing great! Michelle
i was on whatever kept me from getting sick for two years prior to 7 days ago but imagine how many times i went sick waiting on dope dealers , dope dealers getting popped all of a sudden its 200 bucks a gram, or so and so is getting tested at pm and cant get rid of all those ds and roxys.. ext ext ext im done with it all im out of the game!
well there is kindof a reason i dont really talk about my taper because i never had a script. I knew several people with scripts that i would be able to get them but if i ran out i would get somethin like h or morphines or dilaudid or whatever i was a junkie but at the same time i knew the truth so last month i got like 8 subs and just piecied them out i think i took one the first day and went down to crumbs i felt w/d a little bit all the way down till i jumped off now 7 days ago. This was just my experience not advice of any kind. And its really about your attitude ... you have to want it but even if you want it you wont all the time so those times you battle your brain and you may have to fake it but then all of a sudden you want it again. lol. if that makes sense. So sorry I cant be much help in the taper department I did it my way and you will do it yours. The only advice i can tell you is to please talk to a doctor before starting any kind of tappering off a narcotic :)
hi do u mind if i ask, how long were u on the subs and what dose? im currently doing a taper but i hate it and im trying to go cold turkey starting today
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