cocaine use help! Advice please!!!

Hi everyone. My name is Issam and at the moment i am very worried about my situation where almost every week i go ahead and call my dealer and buy cocaine .I went from buying a 0.7 gram bag to three bags a night. It has become an ongoing habit. Every time I drink i think of it and eveytime theres a party it also comes to mind. I have been using occasionally cocaine for the past 4 years on and off. Im not sure waht makes me wanna do it knowing that what goes up must come down and the feeling after is just horrible. I hate it and it makes me kinda depressed. Anyways this week i noticed that i have been using more cocaine than i useto dealing with loneliness of moving to a new city also having trouble being away from my family and good friends and stuff. im 25 years old and it feels like i have so much to do and i cant keep up and at the moment it makes me think its that stupid powder that makes feel awsome for several hours but its negatives are just so bad . My brother back in Beirut use to be a heroin user and my dad and i helped him through his withdrawal that wasnt easy and took lots of family effort and patience. I remember this one time he was taking a hit of heroin infront of me once and i asked him how does it feel like ? he said im your older brother and i love u so much and would never want u to even try how this feels like. you dont want to know he sais. I took his word and being from a city of extreme freedom and accessable everything i never even got close to it for i saw its symptoms and waht it leads to. Anyways i move to the states and i see myself smoking lots of pot and then used cocaine for the first time out of curiosity and it felt different. i think i liked it for it made me more fun more sociable and very confident not that i am not in real life but its just a boost of power that i kinda liked. last night i did cocaine again and couldnt sleep until 7 in the morning and went to work right away . being a shoe salesperson at a high end retail store i feel super energized for about 24 hours and then crashhh. 2 days later i feel like my body just needs some rest which makes sense since the drug powers your body. Today i have a concern looking at my bank statement and knowing that i work hard for my money and how much i spent on cocaine for only this one week. its crazy 360 dollars and that does not include the tabs that i open at clubs and while high money is just whatever.regret comes the next day.I consider myself a hard working independent american that loves his country and want to do the best for myself and for my country and not do this ****. i always regret it the next day again and again and it makes me feel not right . anyways i know i have a good will and a strong capability of just deleting the guys number and just forget about it .im thinking maybe smoking more pot for i think it calms me down and makes me more interested in watching a movie or hanging out indoors and not going crazy. At the moment my body feels week and my back hurts like after taking ecstacy and i dont like it . i feel like im bringing myself down. please the fact taht i keep this fact away from people that are close to me including friends im here in my bedroom googling a question to good people that can give me good advice on what to do next week. is there a specific activity?sports?game?whatever it is im an open guys and ready to get my life back for excelling and getting things done like finishing school. please whoever is reading this i need advice on waht to do.I think im lost. i have never done this but i think its a gr8 idea to branch out and talk to real people out there that have been through waht im going through now .

thank you all for sharing your ideas
best of luck
issam :)  

[WDsRawful]

Welcome to the forum!  I have no experience with cocaine so as far as withdrawl (withdrawal) and all of that I can't address, but someone else will come along shortly I'm sure that can.  However, I do know addiction.  You have to stop this before it gets worse and worse.   One of the things you are going to need to address is to change the things you're doing or people you're hanging with that trigger your need for this drug.  Stop drinking and going to parties...easier said than done, I know, but you gotta stop that if it triggers your use.  That's probably the tip of the iceberg, but please take a serious look at your life and the things you do surrounding your use.  

As an addict, I've been learning to stay away from the things that triggered use and learning to re-do the things I must do that I enjoyed doing while doped up on pills.  It's a matter or re-training your brain and time is mostly the cure for that, but it takes aftercare.  

I hope this was helpful.  Keep posting you will finds tons of support here!  Good luck.

[newmanagment]

I know your pain, and I know cocaine. You will not have any physicall withdraws, other that maybe a headache and a bad attitude for a few days. First off, your prolly going to have to quit clubbin and drinking for a bit. alcohol is a terrible cocaine trigger, and sounds especaillly big one for you. You are also going to have to distance yourself from ne one using cocaine of alcohol for awhile. If you are really ready to quit, there are many changes we must make to get us thru the first 90 days. after that things will ease up a bit, but remember once an addict always n addict.
Cravings for coke are TIME LIMITED!! this means that when we get cravings, instead of buying dope you can do NE thing else to take your mind off it. I dont care if you buy a coloring book and crayons bro, just find something to occupy your mind while the craving passes. If you need more help, or someone to scream at while your getting thru this, feel free to message me or just keep posting. This forum and journaling helps me get thru rite now, and it can work for you too. much luv

[gizzy32]

If you continue to drink and go out to party, those cocaine cravings and thoughts will continue. I battled this drug a long time and the poster above (newmanagement) has too. In order for me to finally get clean, I HAD to change my environment. Alcohol can make coke cravings so much worse and helps to let our guard down.

Your young and still have hope, so now is the time to fix this. Congrats on admitting you have a problem and asking for help, that is a big step. Now it's time to figure out what you can do to stop. There is help out there and this is also a great support group so keep posting and put an end to this before cocaine kills ya. Don't wait till your on the ground convulsing, choking on your own vomit and being carried away on a stretcher by paramedics like I was, it's never too late. Hope you come back on, we are here for you. Good luck:)

[maiden14583]

i feel like ijust read my thoughts from 4mths ago. ihave been clean from booze and cocaine for just over 4mths .one of the biggest things ive learned, and i cant stress enough on this .  you will not be sober if u dont stop hanging at bars and if u see the pll who do any kind of drug, including pot.  and u need to be fully commited to a sober  life, and to acceppt what youve done.  if u r not 100% into being sober.  its gonna be harder 4 u, with a greater chance of relapse.  i wish you all the luck in the world

[gizzy32]

Ahhhhhhhhh, congrats on over 4 months clean. Welcome to the forum and best of luck in your recovery:)

[mego776]

im glad ur clean! i know how hard it is to even stop urself from doing a little cocaine much less be stuck on it for months! im glad that horse didnt trample u! u made it out! just remember, dont do another line cuz the nature of coke is to make u want another, that all it do - so just DONT! :) congrats!

[10111]

hi am a mother of 3 i have been u drugs on and of since 2009 of an off.
I Have been through a a lot in my life i cant seen to find a state of peace . am always have something and every thing depressing me though the world does not see my pains. i hide a lot in side . but people see me and think am happy they don't know am struggle with a great pain of drugs, these days i work and am a prostitute buy night the pain has hurt me so much i use drugs to deal with it. the drugs have this huge impact on me . i have the great desire to turn things around and i know i can .people love me man want me women envy me , but the drugs give me a false pleasure that i love for that moment. and it is starting to tear me up i can see my self finding  .But i also see my self going to some dealers house om pay day. he will withdraw all my money and i will enjoy smoking it o crack cocaine . a day later my kids are waiting for me to get paid and do fun things , but am stuck in a dealers house bagging him for one more. when he wont give  am on the street prostituting, and feeling very guilty  but for some reason for one more hit before i go , i go home and am at my worst guilty, confused disappointed , and suicidal of how i cant get this drug of my mind , i need help a friend a pal , HELP PLEASE SOME PLEASE HELP ME GET OVER THIS DRUG ADDICTION BEFORE IT MAKES MY THREE KIDS MOTHER , LESS HELP ME  PLEASE,
IF U ARE OUT THE AND CAN HELP , I KNOW GOD HAS ANGEL THE FOR ME , HELP ME DO THIS FOR MYSELF AND KIDS PLEASE I BEGG

how i just wish to choose life over drugs , help!!!!      

[bahamamama13165]

You seem like you are really motivated to quit.  The life you describe sounds pretty miserable.  You and your kids deserve better.  You should call an NA hotline.  They can put you in touch with local people in your area. You can talk with them on the phone.  You could probably find someone to pick you up and take young a meeting.  Good luck.