codependency and addiction

I know two persons in a relationship, who are both addicts, can make recovery more difficult.  However, I have also heard stories of success.  The relationship has not been normal from the start..for reasons other than drugs.  One is she deals with bipolar and he is very co-dependant.  Can anyone offer suggestions/guidance to help in this situation?? I know they both have to get clean and they say the want to.  However, the co-pendent one has already requested that he not be spoken to about his addiction for the next few weeks...He finally admitted his addiction to me and acknowledged it is very bad now.  I'm concerned because I am his ex wife and he has my children every sat and sun.  When I finally got him to be honest with me last night, he told me that I cannot speak to him about this for at least the next few weeks.  He and I have always remained friends...although to help the girlfriend with her jealousy issues, he and I are not allowed to speak outside of the children.  Due to this, he has no one to speak to about this other than her and possibly one of his brothers who is currently on sub due to his addiction.  The brother is currently using sub and doing well, however continues to battle the fear of falling off the wagon, so he continues the same High dose of sub and has for a year and a half.  My ex cannot stay on sub due to several reasons but he is waiting for the dr. return call for an appt to get put on it.  I am going to print out the  sub fact sheets for them (she is already on it but sees a dr. with very shady habits and has no insurance...she cannot afford this treatment, but refuses to go to the more reputible dr. my ex has suggested to her)  So neither of them can stay on it forever.  She currently has no money due to this no job, no car, living with her parents with her two children.  My ex is also in the middle of a bankrupcy and risking his job with his addiction...they are both in very difficult situations at the moment...Is there any good advice or reminders...I know I only have one shot to offer it when I give him the heath pages (neither of them have a computer) then I'm suppose to keep my mouth zipped...so I'm asking on suggestions now...HELP?