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960021 tn?1270662682

could really use my friends here right now - please read, advice is needed.

Here I am doling out advice, support and guidance left and right.. And it has hit me this morning that I need a little bit of help myself through something. For those of you who are taking the time to read this through, I thank you in advance and pray that you're able to shed a little light on my current situation. I also apologize in advance if this post is long, so bear with me as much as possible.

Today I'm able to sit here and tell you ALL that I now have 22 days sober from percocet under my belt. I'm proud of myself for this, but I must admit to every one of you that even though I haven't had any urges to pick up a pill since I started my journey CT [without any other medications and without my PCP, either] I also have realized that my back and my knee are probably worse than they were before I decided to get off the pills. I understand that a lot of this comes from the fact that there are no longer opiates in my systeem, but I also know that there is a true and legit reason I was on the pills. I just happened to get hooked on them you know? Anyway -- help is needed in regard to the following:

As many of you know that have followed my posts here on the forums when I first signed up, I told my PCP that I felt as though I'd become addicted and dependant on the pills. This is when my PCP literally shoved me under a bus and proceeded to run over me several times over and over. He told me that he thought as though I'd been deceitful in all of this time that I'd been obtaining pills from him to alleviate the pain and that I was a full blown addict. I told him I wanted to get help and be talked down to by someone who was supposed to follow the Hypocratical Oath he'd taken when he first graduated from medical school -- and what he did was give me a number to a detox center and hung the phone up on me. As you all know, I've filed a complaint with him through several people and I've learned that I am not the only patient that he has done this to. I don't want him to get in trouble, because I was the one that put the pills in my mouth, he didn't force them in there. Either way, I've come to the realization that I still need medical assistance with my back and knee problems, so this is where I am right now and need advice, please.......  <3

I called the specialist that I'd been seeing, and he referred to Physical Therapy. Unfortunately, a few days before I was supposed to start the PT, my insurance stated that they didn't cover it. That is when I called around to at LEAST 20 different places and asked about payment arrangements, and none of them would accept. I also have an entire binder here full of home excercises that I stick to every single day. My knee and my back continue to get worse even with the help of Motrin 800 that I just recently started to take again after the WD and detox was through and over with. The specialist then told me that it'd be within my best interest to seek yet another opinion about this, because he'd never seen anyone at such a young age in the prediciment that I was in and he truly felt sorry for me and felt my pain in my voice. He is such a great guy, but here is my thing. When my PCP called me an addict [which I know I am] and told me he was no longer going to help me, I'm in fear that any and every doctor I see from here on out will view me as the same and will not want to help me. There is only so much doctors I can go see under the health plan that I have through my work. Money is tight and I just can't seem to kick the sadness that is overwhelming me today over this entire thing. I hear members here on the forums all the time go on and on and on about how helpeful doctors were with them, but it seems as though I'm standing at the end of the road with nowhere else to run because of what my PCP has stated to me. This is now something that I have hanging over my head.

Whether I wanted to believe it or not, doctors too, are human just like everyone else on this earth. Just because they are doctors, doesn't necessarily mean that they will not look at me like I am "less" of a person because of the addiction and dependancy I had with these pills. I do have legitament pain that effects me day in and day out. Am I looking for another doctor to try and get pills from? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I'm trying to get down to the nitty gritty and find answers. My health exceeds everything to me right now, and my knee and back are still at it's lowest points that I've ever had them be.

Please lend me an ear and give me some advice on how I should approach this. I need to go seek further medical assistance with all of this, but not sure what to do because of what is hanging over my head.
16 Responses
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426217 tn?1249005416
Hey Girl,

WOW...I feel so bad right now, and I am so sorry you are going through all this!  Do you know what the issues are?  I mean, what are the specialist saying is wrong with knee and back?  Please don't be afraid about what any doctor, person, specialist or whoever is going to think of you...You were brave enough to step up and say Hey, I had a problem and I am going to do what I have to do to fix it!  You have tons of support right here :)  And you give beautiful and amazing advice, too  Sha-Bang...hahahaha :)

Is there anyway to switch PCP's and start fresh letting them know the situation or switching insurances?  Could you even drop the work insurance and get it through the state or something like that?  I know what it is like living paycheck to paycheck and I am sure a lot of other people do too!

Keep us posted :) And good luck!!!

Kel
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Peace:
Sorry to hear about your pain issues. I think there is a forum here that deals with chronic pain. Maybe there would be some answers there. I too suffer from neck & joint pain, and I’m noticing it more now that I have been off the oxys too. (28 days today)

You have given such wonderful support here to so many in such a short time. You are really a caring person. I hope that you find relief.  It does seem to be a conundrum for a lot of us here in this forum, since most of us got addicted to PAIN medication --- It makes sense to me, that most of us do have pain.  

I guess we need to be true to ourselves and look for alternative methods for pain relief. Ice is nature’s best pain reliever. I have started swimming and it does help my neck and joint pain, light exercise, getting the blood circulating is always good.

I wish you the best.

Penny
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
And just to let everyone here know... I have a HUGE three-ringed binder full of excercizes that they'd have me doing in PT as well. When I told them that my insurance doesn't cover PT, they were nice enough to send me a huge packet of all the excercizes they would have done for me there because they knew/know how much pain they have seen me in over the course of such a long period of time, you know? I have kept up with these excercizes daily for the past few months. It's almost as though PT isn't enough. I even bought a few things they suggested me to buy, like a "stepper" that I use to strengthen my knee and my back, etc. I do stretches, the whole sha-bang.

WOW -- Who uses that word anymore?  ME!  [sha-bang]

But yeah, I just wanted to try and report everything to everyone in responding. I'm headed off to bed for the night to try and get some rest. The Motrin HAS helped with the inflamation, but the pain is still there. The pain was there before the pills came along, and that was the reason I ever went on them in all honesty. I know everyone has their own opinions and ways about going through something like this, so just see my words as being completely honest. I appreciate all the concern and suggestions for accupuncture, etc. But right now my wallet can not handle anything like that. We live paycheck to paycheck as it is, even though for some that is hard to believe.
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
Also, Cissy... You have to look around at all the other members and their sucess stories when it comes to what their doctors have said to them and how supportive they have been with them as well.
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
Please do not let my story effect your recovery. Everyone here on the forums has a story and I know there are far worse ones being told out there, trust me! I'm thankful that everyone here is standing by my side as I go through all of this, and I apologize that I wasn't able to get back to you all until now -- but work calls and so does our landlord! [hahahaha, insert my dry humor here, please]

I will get through this, I'm just scared of what they're going to think once they see what my PCP has put in my files when they do receive them. I work tomorrow morning for a few hours, and I plan to call a specialist here in my area to see what can be done. I'll make a few phone calls and let everyone know how things went. I have to be optimistic about this or else I wouldn't be well.... me!  <3
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Keep yourself safe while also trying a new approach to healing.  I found that just not medicating wasnt going to heal my actual issues I still had neck and back pain.  I turned to a chiropractor, one becuase I knew there was no chance I would be just medicated (no temptation a Rx would be suggested)for my aches and two it is a holistic approach.  I have tried conventional medicine and am discouraged.  I know there are different opinions on this and it isnt for everyone....but I felt like I had to try something new.  After 1 visit I had some relief and I am optomistic to continue this journey while trying to get clean.  You do have to find what you beleive in enough to stay committed.  BIG HUG
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am soooooooooooo sorry your going through all this and your story is the main reason I am afraid to share with my doctor I do not want to be labeled and addict (even though I know I AM on) cause sometimes it goes with you to other docs.

I wish I knew what to say or do to help you other than telling you I am here for you.

Cissy
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
girl hang in there. Only you know your body but we all know these pills, not saying your not in pain , just besure to make the right choose. I know you will, you have come to far! I already look up to you <3
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey, girl.....

I'm going to just share my experience.  I am not saying that this is you, but it sounds soo familiar to me.

After about 3 weeks off of the vicodin, I started realizing my pain.  I started making it worse for myself.  I later realized after pushing through that it was the drug trying to creep its way back into my soul.  It was making dwell on my pain.  It was just another sneaky trick the pills were trying to play with my mind.  I would condemn myself to my pain and it was terrible, as a way to make myself think "I have pain, therefore I need pain killers"  Fight it !!  Fight it hard !!  keep working the exercises and see if in time your natural endorphins will kick in and the evaluate your real pain level.......

For me.....It was the pills talking.  I don't know if that's the case for you, but really think about it HARD....really hard.

I am so sorry for how you doctor treated you.  a complaint is warranted against this doctor.....what an A$$.  I get sooo mad when I hear stories like this.  I refused to tell  my doctor for that very reason.  I never advise anyone not to talk to their doctor, because that would be Extremely irresponsible on my part. It was my decision not to.  

Take care and be good to yourself.

Luv,
Nauty.......
Helpful - 0
983594 tn?1249672009
Hey there darling. I am sorry I didn't see this earlier!!! I am sorry that you are going through this pain. There are pain management centers that can help you without the use of opiates. For your back and knee, you may need to try and stretch them as much as possible, I have tendonitis in both my knees and scoliosis in my back so I know what you are going through! Try yoga. I know it sounds kind of silly, but honestly some of the yoga positions stretches you JUST enough to stop the pain at least for a little while. I hope a little of my advice helps you, I hate to see you going through this pain because you have been so helpful to me and everyone else on here. But just know that we are all there with you. Especially me, knowing the exact pain you are going through. Hell, I couldn't even walk up the stairs at work today because my knees were hurting so badly so I took the elevator! I felt so lazy... lmao. Trying to make you smile darling. =]
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi peaceinknowing.. so sorry you are experiencing the pain you are but you need to find a Dr. that will get to the root of your problem and come up with a solution that will fix it.. I do not know why the specialist is wanting you to go for a 2nd opinion although this is reccomended.. but a Dr. will respect this just give it a chance. you are understandable a lil nervous about being known as a addict but it is not meds you are looking for. have the confidence in yourself and it will transfer to whom you are speaking with.. Do not give up.. Hang in there and move forward you are your own best advocate.. warmly lesa
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey!  I've left you two msgs.  get back to me.  Read the post I did on precious46 right after yours.  The trick to getting your ins to pay for multiple Acupuncture or Chiro treatments is to find a Chiro that's actually a DR. - usually their specialty will be Sports Medicine, then they call bill it as medical rather than whatever it is that the Ins. Co. can get off of as a technicality.  Talk to you soon!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sorry your having such a hard time sweetie, If i can do anything for you, You know you can call on me,,,,,,,, S
Helpful - 0
684067 tn?1314292786
Hey, congrats on three weeks... and a day! Just try to remember it still takes time for our bodies to start making our natural pain killers...Hang tough give it some time, I know it stinks but its only been a few weeks.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Let me start by saying that I am so sorry you are hurting so bad right now.  I am 55 days clean right now and was told yesterday that I have an enlarged Kidney and ureter.  Probably due to a kidney stone, let me tell you that I will not take any pills, there are meds out there that will get me through this that are not narcotic.  And know that there are many things you can do to get yourself through this as well.  I believe that after being addicted so long that once our bodies detox all the pains come back ten times as bad.  While I know that you want to feel better, you need to find a doctor to help you.  There are good one out there.  Do some of the PT yourself it does help.  Motrin will also help with any inflammation you may have. Good luck to you.
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
I've had advice from other people before about this, where they tell me to push forward and forget in my head if other doctors view me as "doctor shopping" for narcotics if I know in my own heart and mind that I'm NOT looking for more pills and doctor shopping -- But this is hard to do....
Helpful - 0
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