day 17 - just want to feel.normal

I can understand why relapses happen. I am so sick of the constant bone breaking anxiety. Sticking to the sups and the vitamins but I just want to be able to relax. I feel like a constantly have pressure in my chest. I keep telling myself this too shall pass but it feels like a slow steep.climb.

[ImDONENoMore]

Congrats on day 17!  I know, you still feel like crap.  I did too - but every once in a while smile to yourself for the great thing you've done.

Have you tried valerian root?  Or the samE - both worked great for my anxiety.

Again congrats.  It will get better with more time you'll see.  :)

[perchance23]

Thanks. I guess I just have to keep going.

[ImDONENoMore]

Yes you do - as bad as my mood was - and it was BAD all the time (lol) - funny, I can laugh about it now but I definitely wasn't laughing then.

I think the thing that stuck with me the most was gnarly's words about "being okay with NOT being okay for a while" - it was like I just decided to hell with it - things are going to feel rotten for a while and there's nothing I can do but keep going and hope for a better day tomorrow.  And when the good day finally came it was such a relief!!  Then a few good days in a row, then a week in row, you see where I'm going here.

Hang onto the blind faith for a little while longer.  I promise you these feelings WILL pass.  :)

[perchance23]

And its a marathon. Not a sprint. Thanks just needed that extra bit of encouragement. And some of my own courage!

[ImDONENoMore]

I'm going to bet that you have more courage than you ever dreamed possible.  :)

[perchance23]

And sliding head first into day 18.

[ImDONENoMore]

Great - another day under your belt.  And then tomorrow night another day.  Kinda cool the way that works huh?  lol

[kitascloudy]

Hi there!! I'm right behind ya!! I know exactly what your feeling. It's like the cloud is still hanging over your head. This is what i did. I was still having trouble falling asleep and feeling crappy mid morning. I looked up 5-HTP. Its a supplement not a benzo. After i researched it, decided to try it. i take it before bed and i'm not kidding, i slept well (no anxiety) and woke up with anticipation for the day. The cravings weren't nearly as bad as the day before. I still have a slight craving at around lunchtime but i work thru it. It has something to do with restoring the seretonin. However, you can't take em in w benzos at all!! Anyway, if you haven't tried it. It's worth a shot!! I def feel better! About 70% better. Keep your head up!! xoxo

[perchance23]

Thanks for the tip. I use melatonin at night. Puts me right to sleeep.

[atthebeach]

hun you are doing great....you have 18 days clean...when was the last time you could say that???
keep your head up. keep fighting. you are winning the war on addiction. one battle at a time. time will continue to be your healer.
keep up the exercising, each day is another day you are clean,yeaaaa!!!!
that is the logo....a marathon not a sprint....
sending you hugs,hope,encouragement,prayers
debbie

[perchance23]

I just hope in time I feel.better. it is not good for my fibro to keep running with all of this anxiety. Just got to keep going. One step at a time.

[perchance23]

Met with my therapist today. Got some more homework to manage stressors and anxiety. And sliding into day 19!

[Luckytwice]

Have you tried the  L Tyrosine mentioned in the Thomas recipe? It's an amino acid that metabolizes into  dopamine and norepinephrine, endorphines that you are lacking, which help with anxiety,depression, energy, mental alertness, focus.  This may help you a lot until your own endorphin production returns to normal, which can take a long time. At about one month it's only at around 45-50% of normal.  Start with a lower dose than recommended in the recipe though (200mg)
Should help you feel a little more "normal".
Congrats reaching day 17!