day 19 Its starting again

[desperatechezzzoo]

well at day 11 off methadone i couldnt stand it any longer so i did a 5 day course of suboxone, it was great. but now 3 days off that its back, i cant sleep my legs are twitching and im going through the worst nightmare ever. My daughters father was killed 4 days ago and i must be strong. i dont want to use, i just need this to go away like yesterday......i need my strength right now and i need to be able to think clearly. how am i going to do that when i cant sleep. i went to bed at midnight and woke up restless as around 1am. i have tried watching t.v, having a smoke even eating something and now i am sitting here trying to figure out what to do next. please someone give me some advice. how long is this going to last? how can i get some sleep? please tell me this wont last much longer. i'm going out of my mind

[Ella789]

I am so very sorry that this is happening to you!  It must be a nightmare indeed!  
If it were me, I think I would stay on the sub untill all of the outside problems are a little more managable,  that is if it is possible for you to do so.   It is hard to detox under the best of times, (if there is such a thing) but to do this now would compound all the anxiety.You need to be there for your daughter and detox can wait a week or two more.  
Hugs to you!
Ella

[desperatechezzzoo]

im just so scared to start all over again. surely the end has to be near? i nearly went to the clinic yesterday but felt alot better today and then tonight the twitching, aching and sleeplessness came back.will see how i feel in a few hours when my daughter wakes up. My daughter has no idea whats going on with me and i have no intention of telling her. its the last thing she should be worried about now.

[scaredmom330]

I have to agree with Ella, with as much as you are going through right now, you need to stay on the suboxone if possible. I thought someone said you could take the suboxone for up to  2 weeks without the w/d being very bad. you need to be there for your daughter right now, and get some sleep in order to deal with everything happening. Go to the clinic and deal with detox next week. pm me if you need to talk.

[Ella789]

I hope others will come to post soon,  I do not know much abt. sub,  does it have a long half-life?  I know some on here say it takes longer to detox with sub but I do not know if that is true.    If so, then you may have a week of detox,  I was on hydro and on the 5th day, I started to feel better.  Everyone is a bit different.   I wish you could talk to a Dr. abt. a few tranzene,  I don't condone their use but for a few days, but it could help you.  Can you talk to your Dr. abt. what has happened with your daughter's dad and see if he will help you?     I just think I would stay with the sub awhile longer,  but if you are determined not to then talk to a Dr..  I don't know how they are  over there but usualy here a Dr. would consider helping one of their patients.

Ella

[desperatechezzzoo]

its just so bloody frustrated. i wish i just knew what was going to happen to me in  the next couple of days. will i feel any better? will it get worse? the past 2 days i have been sneezing ALOT. this tells me i am still withdrawing alot. if not for the fear of having to go through this all over again i would be at the clinic first thing in the morning. Im just so scared of going backwards in my progress.....Im so frustrated and scared stiff. Why does it have to be this hard? Why cant it be over? Why did i do this to myself?

[theeagle]

it took me six months to get right after quiting a 120mg dose.....methadone has legs and will not go away easily or without a fight. I dont wish to scare you, but thats the facts.....some on this forum have cold turkeyed multi hundred milligram doses....but it is a task. Dont go back to the clinic if you can use some more sub......use the sub judiciously to get through the immediate future.....keep the sub use to ten days at best.....and taper it dramatically the last several days. You are in a poor situation......but going backward with the methadone is not the correct decision.........PM me if you wish to chat about methadone......

[worried878]

u know u staying clean is the important part..and if u need the sub to get thru this then do it..i know u want very badly to be totally off of everything but the timing is not right perhaps?  life has a way of throwing curve balls at us just when we think we got everything firgured out...how much sub were u on for that 5 days?   3 days is about right as it has left ur system by now..and methadone wds are long...and i dont know ur prior dose of methadone either...there is sposedly a 21 day cut off for sub addiction...not gonna ever think there is a certain amt of days nor hours when someone becomes addicted to sumpin..but that is what they say...so u could do the sub vs relapsing totally for another weeek or even 2 and probably avoid sub addiction..specially if u stay as low as u can go on the sub..not encouraging it...but i know if it were me i would hit the meetings hard and do a low dose of sub for a few more weeks...or even a week..play it by ear...the worst of methaodone wds r usually over in 3-4 wks...u r getting close...and u gotta do what is best for u....have u talked to ur sub dr bout this?

[desperatechezzzoo]

I jumped off 10mg of methadone and im no way will i go back on it. i used the suboxone on day 11 for 5 days, they put me on 2mg for the first 2 days then 1.2mg then .8mg then .4mg then nothing. I had just driven in the driveway from my getting my .8mg dose when we got the call about my ex. I thank god i was on the suboxone then because i would have been an absolute mess if still absolutely cold turkey off the methadone. It was day 14 with no methadone. The doctor told me that any more than 5 days on the suboxone and i would have w/d from it. Do i do another 5 days and see how i am then or do i just tough it out. Will it be over soon?

[Cassie415]

Hey,
I am sorry to hear about the rough times you are going through, but I do have a suggestion for the sleep. I take Melatonin at night. It is a natural sleep aid and I promise you, it will KNOCK YOU OUT. I take one pill at night and within 5-10 minutes I feel this tingly wave wash over me and the next thing I know I am waking up in the morning-and this is coming from someone who went to bed at 4am for several months because I could NEVER sleep. The second I was introduced to this, my nightly sleep problems were just a memory from the past. Also, if you go to the vitamin store and look into this, you should also just talk to them about a natural anti depressant. I also take a B complex pill that is a "stress aid" and I think it helps a lot. Whatever you decide to do, I really urge you to look into the melatonin, because it works so well. Hope things start to look up for you and stay strong!

[desperatechezzzoo]

Thank u so much for that advice i will be going there to look for it tomorrow. Apart from the lack of sleep i feel really really good. I am amazed at how i am feeling. a few aches at times but otherwise i feel great. I will let u know how i go with the melatonin...again thank u