day 8 - doing ok, but hubby doesn't want to support me

[Mommy2328]

Ok - so here i am at day 8, doing well 90% of the time - just fighting the mental aspect of changing my daily life and fighting those random cravings.... here is my problem - my hubby
I told hubby about my problem begining of June day before our vacation - he was furious for 1 night, went on vacation everything was fine, but he never brought it up again - and when I tried to talk about my feelings (I was 2 days clean by then) he quickly changed the subject - then we ended up each taking a few vics over the vacation but he said no more once we got home...well 2 and 1/2 days later - I took "just one" and well - you know what happened, back to everyday - in that time i had gotten 2 RX's for vics b/c of dental work - so he knew i was taking them...
well now 2 months later -  I realized its getting to be a problem, so I decided last Monday I am done, then told him Tuesday night i was 2 days clean, he was fine w/ it at first, then on day 3 clean - he freaked b/c i was lying to him etc...  I told him i really need his support to help me get over cravings / mental part of it all.  He said ok - and now hasn't mentioned it since.  Here i am on day 8, feeling great, except so hurt that hubby is not supporting me really - I mean he's not mean to me, but changes the subject or gets weird when I want to talk about how I did that day.  Its hard b/c we are so close and talk about everything and here I am now - really needing to talk and he doesn't want to.  I understand that he does not really know how he feels about this all yet (his cousin is currently going through a divorce b/c her hubby has a 50 pill a day habit) so I guess he is scared that we might end up the same... but I am scared if we don't talk about it - I might feel alone and resort to using again one day and i really don't want to.  Also he hasn't touched me since i told him - which is very rare... it hurts... I hate feeling alone.
If I did not have the support on here I don't know how I would be doing.  

Thanks for letting me get this out.  Any advice re: your significant other ignoring your problem????

[dominosarah]

Way to go on making you the No.1 priority~~~~sara

[NoMore81410]

I know what you are going through! My husband thinks it's all in my head. He was not there when I went through the worst part of the WD's. He is in denial and I can not worry about him I have to take care of myself. He thinks I am superwoman and can do anything. He knows I am experiencing back pain right now but I just do not complain to him because he just doesn't get it. He has never been drunk or had to take this stuff in his life so it is hard for him to understand what I am going through. That's why I had to get on here and start going to meetings because I could not do this on my own. We are here for you and remember each day is a day of getting your life back!

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 8 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dominosarah]

Your husband is the one who gets the brunt end of your addiction as do all our loved ones when we are using.  Each time we open our mouth and say something they dont believe us.  It is a vicious cycle with them too.  Not having a husband/wifes support has to be hard.  That is why we preach aftercare.  Find others who are in the same boat as you that understand the mental and physical part of addiction.  It is very hard for a non addict to understand just what we are going thru.  The longer you are clean the more your actions will speak louder than words......You can do this!!        sara

[bucksfan]

Mommy, its very hard for people to understand it that have never gone through it. That is why a lot of addicts feel so alone. I have a wife who doesnt understand and doesnt really care or dont care. I dont get upset with her, I just realize you would have to walk in my shoes...You are not alone and just post here each time you get a craving.

[Mommy2328]

Thanks for your post.  I guess its hard for people to understand addiction who have not experienced it.  As i wrote the last post - I was thinking that my hubby sounds like a jerk - but he's not, we have been together 12 years and are SO in love and normally is so supportive of anything and everything...  

[scoenen]

My husband is a pharmacist and has never, and I mean never, used any drugs, including marijuana.  I have been prescribed meds for severe back pain.  When I told him I no longer wanted to be on the Fentanyl and was going to detox he thought I was crazy, telling me that I will still have the back pain and will not be able to function.  While I was going through the withdrawals from Fentanyl, and they were bad, very bad, he actually said, "You are doing this to yourself.  So what do you want from me.  I think you need to be on the meds."  I had to have my Mom help with my children during the first week because I was so useless.  So, yes, I am in the same boat.  I know that he loves me but doesn't want to see me in pain.  He just does not understand what these drugs really do to a person after you have been on them for a while.  Even my mother asked why I was getting off them and if this was something I should be doing.  I still did it because it was the best thing for me to do.  I am still taking percs during the day (15-20mgs) and plan on coming off those when I am mentally ready to fight again.  

Good luck hon.  If I could do it with little or no support so can you.  This board was a real lifesaver for me.  Use it, talk when you need too and we will be here when you need us.