do i need help?

I did coke in the past but it seems when ever i do it i do a lot of it at the time. I dont sell any of my things or anythign like that, but i see my self saying that i dont want to do it but i end up doing it anyway. before when i just started i would only do it about once every 6 months or so. I dont always pay for it either but once its in front of me i cant say no. i use to get the taste of coke in my nose out of no where  but this last month i have been doing it a lot. i dont know how many days but all i do know its been more than 10 days no less that ive done some. and i do a lot in one setting. what should i do? do i need help or what?

[GoingToMakeIt]

You do need help. Coke is a hard one to quit. It is a purely mental battle. You need to remove yourself from so called friends that use it.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

lately out of no where ive been having the urge to wanting to move far away from everyone is this a sign? but wanting help from my sister shes the only one in my family that doesn't have a addiction to anything. both my parents have addictions to painkillers and theres all drug users on both my parents sides. can this be a sign that i want different but i dont know how to do it? i thought about the military or is that just running away?

[flmagi]

Stop being around those people that use it. Get to An N/A meeting and make some new and improved friends.

[Flutterby111]

You are in a good position relatively speaking-you are aware of a problem brewing, and you don't seem to be too far gone....NA meeting sound like a great idea.  I would say, say no to alcohol, if they are going hand in hand.  I have had a hard time saying no as soon as I am drunk..and agree-choose different friends.  Coke is a horrible habit.  Dead end.  

[Inaworldofhurt21]

well that sick part is the coke is so easy to get i can get it from a uncle.. everyone thinks it so cool i can get drugs from him saying they wish they had a uncle like that.. i think its ****** up.. i dont know how to keep these people out of mylife. i'm also a pot head and i want to quit that also but cant once again its the friend thing.. oh and btw today is the start of day 2 with no coke but thats not the problem i just dont want to think of coke at all ever again.. i want to be around positive influences. my sister tells me that addiction is a disease.. i started trying drugs my freshman year of highschool, im 21 years old now. i still live at home with both my parents i myself feel that they are bringing me down atleast my dad.

[GoingToMakeIt]

The real truth is you can quit, if you want to. They are not forcing you to use.

[Flutterby111]

GOod call from goingtomakeit....I second that.

[jafro]

Tell anyone who supplies you w/coke that you're trying to quit - hopefully, they'll care enough to stop enabling you. I did coke years ago - sporadically - could always take it or leave it. Whatever you do, don't cook it up (cause pretty well everyone I've seen go down that road, sadly, hasn't turned back).

[newmanagment]

Im a 25 year cocaine addict. You do have a problem , im suprised you realized so quick. NOW is the time to step off!!! Trust me on this , you will ruin your life, hurt your family, and slowly kill yourself on this path!! NA/AA meetings, a loving family, and a lil trust in the Big Guy, and I am finding it is possible to have a real life. As for "cooking it up", its all cocaine addiction, I went from snorting to smoking and I quit for several years. Had a relapse this year and Im back to remembering how bad those years of using were. So ALL addiction can be recovered from, it just takes hard will and determination.I think if you realize that YOU make your choices, not your drug dealer or friends, you will take another step toward your real life. Keep posting and IM me if you have any questions on cocaine addiction.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

how do i go about this now? i cant go to my parents they will look down on me. plus i want to turn to someone that doesn't use anything like my sister. please i dont know what to do now??

[gizzy32]

how long have you been using coke? i read your post and when you said you get the taste of coke in your nose i remembered having that and my nose would twitch when i was thinking about it. that was my first inndication it was becoming a problem, but i didn't stop. i kept going and going and what seemed like a great drug at first turned into the deadliest nightmare you can't imagaine. it sounds like this drug has not taken you over yet, but i promise it will unless you stop now. quit now before you realize what this drug really does, it's no joke and it will kill you. number one, you can't be in contact with it, cause you will use. take the advice from all of us, your playing with fire and i don't want you to go through what i did. it took an ambulance ride to get me clean and im lucky to be here today. please get some help, you are so young and coke is a dead end road my friend. keep posting, we will try to help, but first you got to help yourself. i know you can do this. good luck

[Inaworldofhurt21]

i first tried it when i was 17 then about 2 years ago in summer time i started to get bad with it.. it seems each time i use it i use more and more usually happends when i try to stop smoking weed, theres a lot of drug usauge in my family. before when i tried stoping weed i started taking painkillers and now its coke and at one time i started to sell coke and in about a 3 hour period i eaisly did about 300/600 dollars in coke.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

today i am feeling so cold i just cant get warm am i having withdrawls?

[gizzy32]

doing that  amount of coke is crazy. no there are pretty much no pyhsical w/d's from coke. if you did that much im guessing you had an overdose. ive had about 5 from this drug and i got cold, then hot, dizzy, chest pains, then i collapsed. you need some help hun, now i am worried. you have switched drugs and obviously and addict and so are we. it took me a long time to admit i was an addict, and i hope you can recognize your behaviour right now. posting on this forum helped me so much and i am 3 months clean from coke, so posting is a good start. are you willing to go to an N/A meeting?

[Inaworldofhurt21]

im willing to do what ever it takes so i dont need any drug to get me through the day

[gizzy32]

WOW, do you mean that, i am proud of you for saying that, cause it is a battle to quit. 100% gaurenteed, you can't be around this drug or see it cause that will set off your brain in coke mode and by the sounds of it you know what that is. im glad to see you come here for help. you are so damn young and have your whole life ahead of you. now is the time to end this. everytime you use, your tolerance builds and builds and you need more and more. coming down sucks, so you just keep using. is it possible to get away from those using, i had to ditch a lot of friends to get clean, but it was worth it over death.

[newmanagment]

Do a search for local NA/AA meetings, there should be one close to you and they are usually every other hour or so.I have been watching this board for a long time now and just got medhelp to help me so i could use it and ill tell ya this. gizzy knows wut he is talking about, you have to distance yourself from ALL users, change your number, move if ya got to. addicts that clean up need to focus on three things PEOPLE, PLACES , THINGS!!! Change the people you hang with, the places you go, and the things you do and you will notice a big difference. Also when you want to use, remember that even as an addict YOU are making the choice, wether it is to go use , go to a meeting , or posting on here. but you are the one that makes that choice. Stay strong and good luck

[Inaworldofhurt21]

oh god im having a bad craving what can i do to keep my mind off this should i smoke some weed or what??

[gizzy32]

the only thing i am going to tell you is you need some help. N/A meetings at least to start. i still don't think you know the power of this drug and wanting to quit is a hell of a lot different than quitting. you need to make a lot of changes and if you don't, im sorry, this behaviour will continue until you are left with nothing. i don't mean to sound harsh, but this is reality, you will no be able to fight these cravings without help. we are here for you and care so im not trying to sound like a *****, but if you really want to get clean, now is the time and you will have to put everything into it. cocaine is one of the most powerful mentally addictive drugs there is. it rewires your brain so the cravings are next to impossible to beat, but with some help you will learn. please keep us updated and weed won't help with cravings.

[jafro]

Since you mentioned that there's a lot of drug use in your family maybe it won't come as such a shock to your parents (and certainly not as devastating as if something were to happen to you). I understand not wanting your parents to be disappointed - but would you rather they were griefstricken? Go to them - someone else in your family who's clean - or a professional. I wish you all the best.

[kris123]

to this day i can taste the drain - you are not the only one - it grabs you out of no where - i suggest you stay away from where it is and don't put yourself in a spot where you will see it.  I was just like you - i stoped but once i saw it i could not say no - i haven't done it in two years.  listen to gizzy he has very good advise!!

[Inaworldofhurt21]

well they already asked if i was on it i said no because i didn't think i had a problem

[gizzy32]

well, like i asked you before, are you willing to go to an N/A meeting, it would be a great start and do wonders for you mentally as far as fighting addiction goes. i want to see you beat this.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

i want to go to a N/A meeting i think i really do need it i have a very addictive personality

[jafro]

Chances are, if they asked you, they know. Or have you fooled yourself into thinking you fooled them? Please - I'd love to log on tomorrow evening and read a follow up from you stating you've sought help - seriously looked into NA - or confided in someone who'll tell you the same thing all these good people have.

[gizzy32]

i have an addictive pesonality too. although it can be good in some forms when it comes to drugs it's deadly cause i don't know how to stop. it's so good to hear that you recognize this and now can do something about it. like i say this forum is a blessing and if you stick around you will make some great friends and get support. we are all behing you and each other 100% in our fight to stay clean. when you start to get a craving, jump on her and vent if you need to, it does help, because people are behind you. im glad to see you thinking this way

[Inaworldofhurt21]

well the thing with my parents even when im not on drugs they think i am.. i can not goto my parents for this. my dad already says im having signs of being a loser and such and him is a reason why i do drugs

[gizzy32]

listen i blamed my parents to for my use and i was even telling a good friend on here tonight how they called me names and a loser, but once you accept the blame and no excuses, then you can recover. this is one of the first and hardest steps, but you have to accept the blame to move forward.

[monkey231]

Im knew to this site, and Im here trying to get off pills....But when it comes to coke, I feel like I can give you some advice, because Im an expert with that sh**.  I was addicted to coke for 6 years....Started when I was 14, quit when I was 20 and got pregnant, but picked it right back up agian after I had my son.....Coke is an evil drug.  I know the point you're at right now.....Its still kinda fun, but you're starting to crave it.  I think you are addicted....My advice is that you really get some help right now.  It will get to the point (and fast) where you HATE the drug, but you cant live without it.  And the more you do it the worse you'll feel, but you wont stop, because you'll need it.....I cant give you much advice on how to get off it.  I started taking pills to get off it, but now Im into a whole new addiction.  I guess willpower man.  I dont know, I just wanted to let you know that while I cant give you advice on how to quit, I really think you should now before it gets any worse.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

how can i find a N/A group?

[monkey231]

Google it!

[monkey231]

As far as your parents go....Parents have a really funny way of showing they care by being jerks.....I even see myself do it to my son, and hes not even 2 yet.....If you dont feel like you can go to your parents, you're probably right.  Just dont let them become your excuse to use drugs.....How old are you?

[gizzy32]

you are absolutely right. i think she has to stop now cause she can, it only gets worse and you need more and more, but you don't get high the same. it depletes you. good advice, it's an evil drug. stop now before you really can't, trust us we know, we have been there.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

im 21

[JAXX55]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this painful ordeal. I'm clean 5 months now. coke and meth... two VERY tough one's to get over, but with a little help from myself, and a good church-It's been much easier. A VERY important step to take is to seperate yourself from those who use. It will almost be impossible to quit if youre around others who are using. You've GOT to get yourself into a different "MODE", with a different group of people. Heck, I haven't had any problems quitting after a good 5yrs of using both coke and meth, and I quit cold turkey.... slept for like a week straight, could NOT get motivated to do sh**, but I'll tell ya what, I FEEL GREAT NOW! It's so worth it to be clean, and you can do soo much more... Find a good church, challenge yourself to be more in this world. Drugs are for losers and you definitely DON"T sound like a loser. You have a conscience, which is something losers DONT have... Change your life, and see all that it has to offer. Find a good support group and don't worry about judgement from people, MOST people really respect ANY person who shows they are able to overcome drug addiction.... Keep posting too.   Good Luck!  =)

[Inaworldofhurt21]

is it normal to feel really sad today?

[gizzy32]

hey man, your not using today? of course it's normal, actually when you first come off of coke sad is an understatement, in fact depression is an understatement. im being honest with you here bud, the first week is hell, i  wanted to die, but i promise you get through this week, try to stay busy even though i know you probably just want to sleep. most of the coke will be out of your system in only 4 or 5 days and you will start to feel better, but yes man, it is tough for awhile. if you accept that you have to go through hell for a bit to get clean you will make it. i promise this sadness goes away. you are experiencing the coke blues right now, but please hang in there, it gets so much better. your brain is going to try to trick you into using right now so you have to fight hard. please hang in there.

[kris123]

You will feel sad off and on but it will go away - I am on two years and only have gotten the urge, a strong urge a handful of times - you will began to feel happy having others to support you is the key - when you get the urge I suggest you come on here if you can - thinking of you :-)

[Inaworldofhurt21]

would it be a bad idea if i took tramidal today?

[Flutterby111]

Why do you want to take a tramidol?  how many one?  are you in pain?  explain......

[Inaworldofhurt21]

my body is hurting plus i feel so tired i can barely keep my eyes open i slept for 9 1/2 hours last night would it be a bad idea??

[Flutterby111]

I would take two advil....how many tramidol do you have?  Where did you get them?  I'm just curiously looking out for you....how many do you want to take?  It's not going to help you wake up....

[Inaworldofhurt21]

2 tramidol thats all i want to take

[Inaworldofhurt21]

you know your self advil doesn't do anything for pain

[Flutterby111]

You know those are addictive and there are alot of people battling addiction to those, right?  I've been following your story, but letting Gizzy handle it because he's a good guy and knows his stuff, but he seems to be away....you're messing with alot of fire.  I don't think it's a good idea with your mindset.  I'm not judging you AT ALL, love, I'm just looking out for you...I've been young and dumb, and now I'm old and a little less dumb so I want to help you, if I can.  You need to stay away from narcotics if you want to not be a druggie.  Honey, drugs are not cool!  I'm dead serious.  I've used every excuse in the book to take a painkiller and I'm telling you you do NOT want the withdrawls and pain that comes with getting off of them.  You are opening a can of worms that you do not need to....just leave it alone honey, I'm serious.  Please trust me on this one....you asked advice, now I'm giving it...

[Flutterby111]

I know myself that narcotics are addictive.....you know you are getting addicted to narcotics....wanna add another to the list?

[cathy5841]

you dont need to take anything,maybe advil...dont trade drugs.  you do not have physical w/ds from coke.  your mind may play tricks on you, be aware and ready to fight back.  you never did coke to help with hurting all over did you?  your addiction wants to make you use.  you are actually depriving your body of something it is depending on.  dont take tramadol, it is addicting in itself and if it makes you feel better you will want to take more and another cycle begins.  you can do this but you have to be very strong.  can you go stay with your sister for a few days?  she sounds like she would be a positive influence.  just wanted to give you something to think about.  i have been there but i have been clean for 5 years and it was hell to gt there and hell to stay there but it can be done.
your friend
cathy

[Inaworldofhurt21]

i know im young and dumb... but to be honest i shouldn't probably not even be a live to this day.. about a year ago i bought a methadon waffer and i didn't know you wern't sapouse to take the whole thing and i did and i was puking for four strait days im not even a big person 5'7 150

[Flutterby111]

I'm sorry if that wasn't the answer you were looking for...I just hate to hear young bright people, that remind me of myself make poor choices that effect the rest of their lives.....forgive me.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

you should forgive me for not lisening i didn't get the tramidols yet and i wont i just wanted to see if it would be a bad idea thank you :)

[Inaworldofhurt21]

but i think im going to go for a drive to clear my head and lisen to some music to keep my mind off of things thanks everyone for the support it is really helping me get through this

[Flutterby111]

Yeah, you and me both....I shouldn't be alive either, but we are....be grateful...take the bullcrap you've done and use it as a lesson....you know....I'm not going to beg you to make the right choices, I care....just, when you ask advice, please consider taking it....

[Flutterby111]

I think the drive with music is a great idea...just don't end up at the wrong place (drug dealer's) ok?  WE'll be around when you return....promise. ;)   I only say this stuff because I've been there, it's not like I'm some preacher who's never done wrong, you know?  I feel ya!

[Inaworldofhurt21]

no worries not going to my drug dealers all i have enough cash on me is for some ciggs and im not even thinking about doing and blow or even smoking a bowl

[Flutterby111]

good. take it easy on that brain and soul of yours....it's fragile...but strong.

[Inaworldofhurt21]

im staying strong... got my cell phone number changed also so people that i dont want to talk with cant get ahold of me plus i deleted all the numbers also

[gizzy32]

holy s$it, did you really? it took me 5 years to do that. right on, that's a good start and glad to see you working at this. remember we have been there too, so we are not preaching. it sounds like you are getting off this before it becomes lethal. i am proud of you man. good job

[Inaworldofhurt21]

thanks gizzy i was feeling $hitty before but now that my mind is off of it i'm feeling really good just a lil tired but hey ohwell i'll take that any day

[gizzy32]

i felt so tired for a week, just exausted and depleted, but it starts to get better after that. just remember, i know you know what those intense cravings are like, your brain instantly changes and can't function the same when that happens. that is why i am telling you to check into an N/A meeting if you can so you can learn the tools to stay clean. right now i think you should sit down and take a sec and write down what triggers you to use, it is very important to find all these triggers out, VERY IMPORTANT. for me, drinking is my number one trigger, buy i have about 3 or 4 big ones i had to identify. i think you should figure these out now. by the way your doing great and i think the fact you are posting on here says a lot about you being committed to this. coke kills man. i like your progress so far.

[gizzy32]

oh and another thing, drink as much water as you can, to help get the chemicals out quicker. 8-10 glasses a day if you can, it really helps

[Inaworldofhurt21]

i drink on average about a gallon of water a day so no problems there and plus all i have to do so i dont want to use is just take a look at some people in my family that smokes crack and that makes me even stronger

[Flutterby111]

it's hard to see loved ones hooked on dope, but I'm glad you recognize that they are examples of how you don't want to live.....

[toxictome]

WElcome to htis forum........Glad to see you here..been following your post and it seems like you're on the right track..
.Addiction is a powerful thing., and i guess you know that firsthand as you have several family members in the same boat.

I think checking out a NA mtg. is a good idea.....you've gotten a lot of good feedback...do something useful w/ it and KICK this bad habit....BEFORE it KICKS you!

Keep posting my friend..this is a great place for help and support...
YOU CAN DOTHIS!!!

[Inaworldofhurt21]

well my best friend of 13 years he was the one i would do it with sometimes and i hung out with him today and he told me that this person he works with that he was done with ******* with it but he did a line today bla bla... i told our other good friend hes strait doesn't do drugs or anything hes actaully going into the airforce in april i told him that i was concerned about my friend dan the one i use to use with and dan got a pissy at me and we got in a lil fight i got out of his car. i dont know what i should do i just dont want to lose my best friend from the past 13 years to this drug i'm scared that hes not strong enough of a person to see a problem brewing like ya'll told me. please help me i cant lose him...

[Inaworldofhurt21]

well im still staying strong...

[toxictome]

GREAT JOB!!!!!
Keep up the fight....
YOU CAN DOTHIS>>>>>>

[Inaworldofhurt21]

im not having any cravings just been tired...

[Flutterby111]

Thinking about you......You are strong!!!  So proud of you....I"m here for you....it's ok if you do have cravings, just wait them out before acting on them....ok?

[Inaworldofhurt21]

just wanted to let ya'll know im doing good

[gizzy32]

hey it's been a while since we heard from you. are you staying off that ****?

[GoingToMakeIt]

Hey, it's good of you to stay in touch, thanks. Glad things are going good. Don't be a stranger and stick around if you want.

[worried878]

read your post...u seem like a smart person...remove urself from the source....get a way and run....no since in getting messed up to the point that  return is so hard...i am glad u r doing well

[BornTwoRiff]

how did the friend you were worried about come out  ?? is he still using ??

[JAXX55]

I need to make a correction on my last post here. I was wondering why people were saying, " Way to go on 5 months clean!"  ??? It was a typo. I meant to say I've been clean 15 mos., and now it's 16mos.... Sorry about that. Either way, it hasn't been the easiest thing I've ever done! THAT'S for sure....  =)  It should be obvious that it's not easy when people count sobriety months the same as they count baby's age!? haha You know how people say "My son's 18months old now".... That always kind of annoyed me, and here I am doing it myself when it comes to sobriety!!!  Anyhow, just thought I'd correct that timeframe for the record!

[Inaworldofhurt21]

Just wanted to let you all know that im doing great haven't did that stuff, haven't wanted to... i smoked a lil bit of weed thats all and i dont even care for it anymore. I'm going to be starting school in fall to become a chef.. aww i love being clean!!!

[gizzy32]

i wondered what happened to you. so glad to hear you got out now. CONGRATS to ya buddy, glad to hear your doing well. dont' be a stranger here, keep us updated on all your success now. way to go man. good luck at school.

[kris123]

Good for you!! Keep thinking about that crapo feeling you get when you are done that is what keep me from doing coke - i smoke a little weed myself - i love it

[cathy5841]

i am so proud of you.  i was wondering where you ran off to.  i am gald you came back with an update.  please keep us posted.  a chef huh?  i think you should cook for all of us...lol

[Greatgreebo]

Congrats on getting your life back!! So, when you get out of culinary school should we look for you on Top Chef or Hell's Kitchen (maybe even Iron Chef someday?)

Good Job,
Greatgreebo

[Inaworldofhurt21]

of course haha anyway im getting addicted to something else tho but its a good thing weight lifting haha it feels so good to be back!

[lee1604]

hey man, glad it worked out for you, stay away from it, im in the resto business, i know what service is like, so..

Stay clean, it's the honourable thing to do ;)

Greetings from a waiter.. :)