do you relate?

thank you for all of your bravery in your posts..... i have always felt if there was a photo in the dictionary for the definition of "normal" i could put my pic. there! lol! if only i had that crystal ball.  I am not even prescribed any pain medications, my husband has them.  he is prescribed endocet, and i am the one addicted.....  i asked for a couple once when i hurt my back, and the cycle began.  i used to sneak them from him, and have put him in the positon of actually counting them and keeping the count written on a slip of paper in the bottle... how sick is that????  he knows about my addiction, and i badger him into giving them to me all the time.  i have been taking them now for about 4 years....  i used to never even take a tylenol...  my company closed the 15th of last month, (my business partner has been embezzeling among other things), my mother in law passed away, and my only child is graduating and is going to college very, very far away.  as all of you users know, what is the one thing that remains consistent in the middle of extreme chaos?????  i am 43 years old and have decided to go back to college to finsish my education, i need to CLEAR my mind and CLEAN my body and soul.  today is my 2nd cold turkey day, and i have spent the majority of it wanting to die.......  i would NEVER do that to the people in my life who love and depend on me, but God, it sounds sooooooo good!  thank all of you for being compassionate enough to share with us.....  i guess people as a whole are still good!

[I_want_out]

Yes they are. We are all paddling the same boat, we just use different ors is all, if that makes any sense at all. Keep posting, dive in to posts and as many as you can. You will see we are all pretty much the same. With same life issues and problems. Im 41 in july and have been addicted to this hydrocodone 10's for 6 years now. It will only end if we stop it, or it kills us! Period end of story. There are many good people in here that have helped me, and Im only on day two. Never had made it that far with out all of these wonderful people and their friendship - which is unconditional and unwavering. You can not find that too many places anymore. Stay positive, Im so far as lest hopeful. See how tomorrow goes I guess

[Ella789]

Hi and welcome!!   Keep reading these posts for help during your detox.   With total commitment you will pull out of this!  My worst day was day 4, but day 5 came and I started feeling soooo much better.  Now, be prepared for the mental part,  it comes after detox (during too) but craving is a part of recovery.  Read all the info you can and try to glean as much from the input as possible.  Come on here and ask questions.  It is hard to do but it is doable, and think of how proud you will be to be clean of the endocet.

Hugs and best wishers,

Ella

[corey411]

Welcome and congratulations on your decision to get clean. Day 2 is a pretty unpleasant day as far as ct goes. If you've been reading the posts, you know the drill. Going through all of those changes is tough. I was devastated when my last son left. That was almost 10 years ago. One or the other have been back during the first 8/10 of those years. Now that they are both out for the past 2 years, I'm ready. I figure only a couple more until my grand daughter wants to come stay here LOL. They keep coming back. Stay strong and holler if you need anything. Corey

[maddie131]

Wow babe. I know its hell. I just finished my 48 hour wd for starting sub therapy. Are you staying c/t or would you consider something such as suboxone? We will be there to support you in whichever you choose. I'm sorry for the recent tragedies in your life, tragedy a huge trigger....the pills dull the pain a bit. You are brave for sharing.....I admire that. Please please hang in there. You can do this. HE is showing you the way.....when you feel awful like you cannot go on post often. There is always a listening ear and heart here. God Bless You. We can do this together one step at a time.

Love,
Maddie

[philster]

my wife has a wooden sign in the garage that says normal is a setting on the washing machine... philster