failure

I feel like a failure, I was almost to day 4 of being sober, I realized than the low energy I was having was more than wd's. Saturday night I had to go to the ER will "female problems". So much of the fatigue was from low blood in my body. The doctor had to do a exam and after he was done he offered pain meds and I was in such pain the I didn't refuse. Then the doctor sent me home with pain meds. And I have to go to the dr. in the morning to discuss surgery to fix the problem. I have been trying to take only want medicine for the pain. And they plan on doing the surgery this week or next, I find out in the morning. But I feel like I failed, and I really appreciate all the support everyone on the forum has given me over the last few weeks, I fell like I let everyone down. I hope that after I have healed up after the surgery I can get the support from you guys again. My husband is still handling my meds so I don't over do, but I am so grateful for everyones support. Sorry to have let anyone down. I really have no control over want my body is doing. Thanks again

[angie269]

Dont feel so down on yourself!  Its not us you have to please.  Maybe you can tell the doc your an addict and he can give you somethin else for the pain.  

[Becca911]

I am going to have a hysterectomy this week or next and I know the pain is going to be bad, so I am afraid to tell the doctors that I have a problem because they my label me and I scared of that.

[angie269]

I totally understand Maybe for the hospital visit only take it there then when you head home tell him you would like somthing non-narcotic.  If you dont it will just start the hell all over again!  You can do it becca you have to or its just going to repeat.

[dng]

Don't feel like you are a failure...no one should be in pain..i felt the same when i had my accident...but you have a genuine reason for taking pain meds....you have to take care of your self before you can address any other problem...if you know you have an addiction then taking pain meds. for a medical problem is ok...no one should suffer...please keep us posted and be well...Dee

[mrpat]

hello Becca, and allow me to introduce myself. My name is Pat, and I came to these forums because Ihave been on narcotis pain meds for 2years now becuase of severe back problems, put it this way I have had 3 surgeries in the last year and a half and expect to have at least 2 more. Anyway up until a month ago I was being prescribed 3 40 mg oxycotins a  day and 15mgs oxycodone every 4 to 6 hours for break through pain. Well my pain doc changed me to 80 mgs methadone a day because he said it was better than taking all the other meds and that if I want to lead some sort of pain free life this would be th easy way to control it. As I said I came to these forums looking for a way to be free of these meds. After reading some of the posts from other chronic pain suffers it seemed to be that yes they were glad to be drug free, but from their comments it seem as if they became slaves to their pain. I have nothing but admiration for each and every person on this sight that decided to take back their life as they have seen fit,I truly mean that. But for some reason I know that if I quit my methadone I will never be able to do the things I can do now because the pain will be torture, I know this because I have quit for 2 to 3 weeks at a time in the past. But I also refuse to be a slave to my pain because society thinks that I am a junkie because I need meds to get thru the day with somewhat normlacy. You did not let any of us down not in the least in fact your attempt at trying to be drug frree in the painful state that you are in is an insperation to most of us. Get yourself well again and if you feel like you no longer to need the meds to function pain free then come on back, I am sure everyone on these forums will welcome you with arms wide open! Good Luck and do what is right for you as the only ones we really answer to are ourselves.

[Becca911]

Thanks for the advice. Before I had my last open heart surgery 2 yrs ago I was drug free. But I was on pain meds for atleast 3 months following the surgery and a pacemaker put in, I became hooked. My doctor tried tapering but I could not follow through. Before I knew it I was an addicted. I do what my drug free life back, but here I go again with another setback. I am grateful to have found understanding people. I will need everyones help again in the near, near future. Thanks again

[Curls]

I had female surgery last year.  Immediately post surgey in the IV they used a version of motrin (don't remember the name, but it was a common choice when morphine isn't desirable).  At home I used 600 or 800 motrin tablets.  It all worked fine to control the pain.  I tried one oxy-something and didn't like it, neither the sensation from it, but also the motrin handled the pain better for me.  So, you may be able to do this with only motrin.  I think my post-op pain wasn't as high as it can be, but I took the stuff round the clock for at least several weeks, so it wasn't low either.  Can motrin be addictive or is it a safe alternative?  Open heart surgery is more to my understanding, much more extensive and post-op painful, so that's one thing you can fear less.  I had a whole series of reasons for changing the med choices (including the anethesia), but the doctors worked with me and had alternatives that worked very well.  

To avoid getting labeled but still avoid meds you don't want to you, can you simply "have tried such-such med before and had bad reaction (hives are an easy one), so is there something else we can use - maybe something milder/less powerful sounding?".  (I've had reactions to plenty of meds, so you can use hives for several in a row with no problem, they've heard it before.)  

I found the doctors, and nurses push the meds saying things like, "don't be afraid to take what you need" like you're doing something wrong if you don't take it.  I felt like an idiot trying the motrin first and being happy with just it.  So, best to igore that stuff, of course.  The big key is to stay ahead of the pain, so you never have to take to much medication to catch up, but just a low steady amount.

All the best success.

[upmcmd]

ull be fine. you need to see about suboxone/subutex. thats what saved my life

[upmcmd]

curls, do u kno how hard it is to refuse drugs if ur in withdrawl (withdrawal)? are u an addict? an opiate addict if i may say that. giving someone a fix when in w/d is like giving a normal person an all expense paid trip to aruba for a month.

[Curls]

I didn't mean to offend.  My understanding was Becca was LOOKING for a way to do this surgery without the drugs, and was very disappointed that she was faced with this.  I was offering my experience that it can work from a purely PRACTICAL physical point of view...i,e, that based on one person's real life experience, the other stuff can handle the pain and that there are alternatives to the automatic offerings of the doctors (once I asked them).  Her husband is holding the pills so she does have some options that way.  

Offering a possible (and I don't know if it would work for her surgery) alternative is a GOOD thing to know exists.  It offers possible choices she may not have known about to using the drugs.  It's hard enough to not use them - but impossible, i.e. not even an option, if you don't know something else would work!  That has nothing to do with cravings or refusing or what's possible based on her past  experience.  I didn't address any of that at all!  Are you really this stuck in being addicted, that even the mention of options to someone who obviously wants choices to help her manage this addiction, is offensive to you?  Or did you simply misread me?