family intervention

[oxygirl487]

As some of u read yesterday i was in alot of pain.so instead of getting a pill i took a valium and went to bed..and wouldn't my luck have it my mom and dad decided to drop by lastnight of all nights lol...my husband had told me he would take care of the kids so i could go to bed so i was asleep...my mom barges into my bedroom screaming "what is wrong with u ?everytime i talk to u or call your in bed" i was like "mom tonite is not a good night can we do this tommorrw?" of course that lead to us screaming at each other and my admitting that i had been addicted to pain pills for 4 yrs....that led her to calling me a drug addict and a sorry mother..told u she wouldnt understand lol...well anyway they left after threatening to put me in rehab even though i told her i had been clean for over 2 weeks....so my dad calls after they get home and she goes to bed....he tells me that about 8 yrs ago he himself had an addiction to pain pills and he told me he knew what i was going thru etc....gave me some encouraging advice(hes a preacher btw) made me feel alot better...said he was gonna tell my mom this morning about his past addiction so maybe she would know that no one is above this demon...maybe she will understand better because she and i cant talk without screaming at each other always been that way lol....just thoguth id tell u guys about that...and let u know i was strong and didnt get a pill....love u all .....god bless

[MICHAEL_777]

It's funny how things workout isn't it.?  An addict lives in all of us, it just needs something to wake it up.

I am so proud of you for not taking.  How are you feeling today?  Love and Strength to you!

[oxygirl487]

physically alot better but emotionally not so good....i hurt my mom i know called her names etc...they had never heard me cuss at all and boy was i letting it rip lastnight  lol...i need to apologize to her i know but im gonna wait on my dad to c if he can deal with her better she scares me  lol....how r u doing today? i think about u alot....we just have to hang in there i guess...love nd strength to u also my friend....

[road2recovery]

WOW!!!  how weird things `can happen...you know i think of this with 4 kids, and i may have the same converstaion that your dad had with you, with them...Scary thought...But only an addict can truly understand another...So glad he is 8 yrs clean. and can help you..
this is probably going to be a big change for you and him, a very good supporter too.

Well let your mom cool off and let your dad talk to her, please take care of yourself...I pray your pain goes away soon..
r2r

[oxygirl487]

no i had no clue...he said he had to taper and that he was proud of me for going ct...he cried i cried i just wish he had said that when they were here but he said he had to think it thru...he could lose alot of peoples trust if this got out i suppose.....my dad has always been more understanding than my mom....its not her fault at all would kill me to think she thinks it is.....hadnt thought about that...it's just that yesterday i was hurting so bad i shouldnt have taken that out on her...its not her fault its no ones fault but my own....she even accused my husband of getting me hooked on them...shes the type that always thought nothing could be my fault even after i would admit stuff ...lol...how r u doing btw? everything ok? take care of yourself too hang in there  

[MICHAEL_777]

Your mom sounds like mine.  She's a 4' 11" stick of dynomite.  I'm 6' 1" and 175 lbs of lean muscle, but there's no way in hell I would mess with her without some safe running distance.  We've had it out a few times and in the heat of an arguement things are said that we later regret.  It's always brought us closer though.

Definitely wait until your dad talks to her and explains that this does not discriminate.  Anyone can fall victim to addiction even by no fault of their own.  When she calms down she will be much more understanding and helpful.  Let her know that you love her and need her for support.  This will bring back all those motherly instincts that she may have forgotten.

I'm glad to hear you're not in as much pain today.  I think of you too and am praying for you everyday.  Hang in there darlin' you're doing great!

[oxygirl487]

omg!!!! i hadnt thought of that...i have 2 girls 12 and 6 yrs old....i would go threu hell and high water if they became addicted to anything.....im sure my mom feels the same way sh just has a hard time showing it  lol.....but i have to understand that u truely dont understand addiction unless uve been there and she has not....i know she loves me i could c that last night in her eyes she s just in disbelief right now i guess....but calling me a sorry mother that was harsh to say the least...but to that i replied with a big ol f u..so im not any better....i plan on talking to her when my dad gets her to cool off and he will he has that effect on people   lol....thanks for the kind words...hope all is well for u...take care

[oxygirl487]

my dad said he went through this alone btw....he said he was taking 30-35 loratab a day...that must have ben pure hell....gives me hope....but he said his pain lasted almost a year....but with my dad,my husband,and u guys i can do this.....my dad is very sensitive and can make me cry on a dime lol....he said i could come to his house and crawl into his arms and he'd hold me all night long if needed....that i maybe 32 yrs old but im still his baby.....ok im crying now...i need to shut up lol

[1eagle]

I am so glad that you got the information that you did. I don't like the fact that dad was hooked sometime, but what a break for you. If anyone can make mom understand it should be him. i don't care much for forceful intervention or even rehab....but do whatever it takes. It sounds like all you should need is that good old dads support and the idea that those loving arms are there for you instread of the pills. I was at your pops level at one time and , yes, it was incredibly hard to ct. Stay strong and remember, that my thought would be that mom was surprised, and she was reacting to the whole situation and her madness was probably directed more at the pills than you.

[oxygirl487]

i agree with u i dont like the idea of forced rehab either....i was doing anywhere from 3-5 80mg oxy's so i know where your comming from....im lucky to be alive i know that now....yeah she was suprised....shes coming over later  she just callled  course she was crying   still mad also   so i guess i need to get out my boxing gloves and about 10 valium lol  just kidding about the valium....dad's comming too so he can referee   wish me luck  cause she can sure push my buttons....

[1eagle]

I would rather see you get out the valiums rather than the boxing gloves. I am a poly addict so everything is right up my alley!!! Just be careful cause those things can cause problems too. With dad on your side you already have a good leg up. I am happy for you in that respect. You can also think of me, with a 40 year habit that started with china white in Asia I didn't think that i could ever stop. But I've been clean for the longest time in my life it seems, about 2 1/2 months. i gotta go now, but I'll be back

[johnnykelly]

Hi my name is john, i was touched by your post. You are moving in the right direction,moreover your father got to share his experience,strength and hope with you.Thats great.My dad and myself where also close, as my mother died of cancer when i was 6yrs old.My father pasted away 3yrs ago,he was a good man annd like your mother,he would not hear any wrong that i could do.To a large degree he enabled me, as i am an only child.Your mom seems hard on the outside, and soft on the inside.I believe see will come around,as you and her both got heated and especially after your dad shares with her his addiction and recovery. Hang in there your friend in recovery john

[oxygirl487]

mom and dad came by..wasn't to bad...he cried ,she cried,i cried....she is really hurt...she thinks its her fault...does anyone know something i could say to her other than it's not your fault?i didnt say much because i dont want things to end up like they did last night and as u all have noticed i'm not much with words and explaining myself lol.....she wants to keep my kids for the weekend so i can get some much needed rest but i'm thinking she may just wanan keep them so she can ask them questions...not so sure bout that....my kids know nothing about this and her prying wouldn't help...she's never done that obviously shes not nosy or she would have known i had a problem which she said she suspected but didnt want to question.....right now im just emotional i guess....as for dad he told her everything about his addiction..to which she replied "Am i so bad that everyone around me has to do drugs so they can live with me?"   thats my mom   lol   any suggestions would be greatly appreciated   hugs

[oxygirl487]

i can relate she'd rather blame herself than to blame me  thats wat shes doing now and thats about to kill me....wasnt her fault she knew nothing....but right now i cant explain that to her.....she has cried all day....i'm such a piece of ****.....i should have never told her.....ive always respected my mom and dad and i love them dearly and to c them hurt is driving me insane.....my heart goes out to the people who love us addicts we have no idea what we put them through......i just feel pathetic right now.......i'm here whenever u need someone to talk to....not good on advice but will try....god bless

[hellinmyhart]

      I must tell you I am the mother of  an addict son, who got help and was addicted to oxys and fentynal. I would have to guess your mothers reaction to you being in bed all the time, is her way of almost knowing your on some kind of drugs, but not wanting to face the reality that she could have a daughter that is addicted .No she probrably does not understand. You need to help her understand if she is to help you in any way. This is what i needed from my son. To help me understand his pain-- emotionally and physically. I did get him into rehab and I hope he is staying off the stuff, and I hope you can to. I really shouldnt tell you this, but what helped him with withdrawls was valium. The rehab center gave it to him for ten days, but no more than thaat because they can become addicting also. So dont take them any longer. He really did not like taking them because they made him tired all the time, but now he says it wa worth it, because he feels so much better now. So please try not to fight with your mother, but in the same token she should not be calling you a sorry mother and any other names. She should be trying to be there for you when you need her instead of fighting with you.  I hope things work out for you. Alls Im gonna say is that when you love someone and you see there very life before them going down hill in a major way, it is the most gut wrenching thing to go threw --- for me it was----cause I dont wanna lose my boy over something as stupid as a pill that was made to make other people rich. So please keep telling yourself tha t you will get clean and you do not need drugs to live a happy life.  God Bless.

[oxygirl487]

ok your post made me cry....i needed to hear the other side of addiction and i thank you from the bottom of my heart...right now my mom is mad and thats understandable im sure u were mad also...but i think we can work this out...im just wishing i hadnt told her.....she kinda has it backwards though she thinks when u r sleeping alot that means u r on something....and i did tell her no mom its when i'm going like a bat outta hell is when i'm on something(which i probably shouldnt have told her cause if i relapse she is sooooooo gonan know) when i'm in bed it means im sick..to which my dad said "remember when i was sick for about 2 months?" she thinks it's something that u can just stop....which i have and am so very proud of.....i have been taking valium and like your son i dont like them either i dont like downers i obviously like the uppers.....i only took like 5 when i was going thru w/d and then lastnight i took one which knocks me off my ***  lol....so dont worry im not gonna get hooked on those...but never say never....thanks for your reply was so greatly appreciated.....we have alot in common....wanna hear more from u if u dont mind......god bless

[oxygirl487]

ok guys i desperately need your opinions on this and i wanna say i'm so sorry for posting so much..but i need some advice...as u guys know i told my mom etc....well she came by we talked etc....she just called me and she has called my brother and my sister and told them about my problem without my consent...they want to have a "family meeting"....im not sure if im ready to fight this out or not.....my sister will be supportive i know but my brother will be different.....i know my mom thinks she's doing the right thing because we r a close knit family but i just dont know if im ready for all this...wat do u guys think i should do?stay home or go?

[MissBecca24]

I say that if you arent ready to face them and if you are having a hard time you might not need your brother pointng the finger, If you know that your sister will understand maybe call her or meet up with her to talk that will help. Right now I think that you need people to understand and be loving and caring. You dont need anyone yelling and calling names and looking down on you! that only makes us crawl into a hole and blame ourselves more!
good luck

Becca

[MICHAEL_777]

Go.  This is your family and you are lucky enough to have them around to support you.  This will bring you all even closer together.  Share with them what hell the addiction is and show them your posts and progress here.  Let them read some of the stories and gain a better understanding of what you're going through.  I envy you having family like that.  Take full advantage of it while you have it.  You never know when they'll be gone.  Love and Strength to you!

[road2recovery]

wow--she works fast....I definetly would be upset ..That is just how i am, i have all sisters and we are very close but it will be when i chose to tell them, which i know they already probably know..but that doesn't matter..For me it has to be when i am ready..and at almost 90 days i am not ready..

I know i will, but in my own time..I know she is trying to do the right thing, but just doesn't know what to do i think.
Only you know what you can handle, without messing up your sobriety!!!
r2r

[oxygirl487]

Becca i agree with u...i dont think there will be any name calling i may go and if its gets to ruff.. leave ....michael yes i am lucky but i dont think showing them my posts would be a god idea right now they do got o church remember?lol and ive been cussing like a sailor on here lol....they'd forget about the pill addiction and be forcing me to repent,which probably wouldn't hurt,lol  r2r.yes she does work fast wouldn't surprise me if we c her on the national news picketing some poor pain management dr.s office  lol....yelling "no more pills!!!" that was so not funny....i kinda feel like she has betrayed me in a way and im pissed....should have been me that told them in my own way...not her...very untelling what else she told them too...made it 20 times worse im sure....my dad will be there and hes gonna admit his addiction also....big nite huh...lol...young and the restles **** going on here....maybe i should jut not go let him admit his addiction to them and c how that goes  lol....see if he lives thru it.....lol

[MICHAEL_777]

Yeah that probably would go over like a fart in church.  LOL  Don't leave your dad hanging though.  Standing back to back is the safest in a fight, so don't leave him exposed.  Address the issue and lean on them for support.

Your mom should have asked you before starting all this, but it's out now and see what you've already learned from it.  Your dad has gone to battle with his addiction too.  Once the addiction is revealed it's harder for it to hide and can make recovery much easier.

[oxygirl487]

I swear u crack me up..lmao...yeah your probably right i should go and help him out and he could help me also....fart in church  still laughing  sorry.......i think this has had to have been driving my dad insane carrying this burden that long.....i couldnt imagine....i think ill go just to support him or that will be my excuse anyway lol  thanks michael u r so funny....

[hellinmyhart]

Well thank you for your reply. I just hope you do everything within your own power to fight this addiction. No I was not mad. It was the most horrible  thing I have ever been  threw in my entire life. This is something that hurt me more than loosing my own sister to cancer. Seeing the one thing I loved more than anything in this world almost kill himself over something so senseless. You have to be a .parent to understand my pain, and what I had to endure, but I also had to hide alot of that pain to help my boy. It would do no good for your mom to be mad and show agression about the matter at hand. If your family is willing to help you in the right way you should welcome them with open arms, but they also have to realize its not about them, it is about you--oxygirl-- and what you have to do to make your life better----to try and live a drug free life. Im glad you told your mom. It just is the first step to admitting you have a problem, and it just may be the beginning of something good that is going to happen to you later on down the road, that is if you want it. You have to want to get better---REMEMBER THAT----You have to want it. I think you should go meet with your family, whats it going to hurt. At least you are willing to take another step in excepting help if you  go Every little step counts. Well I suppose I better get off this forum for now. You just keep posting if thats another step that is gonna help you out. Take care, and post again. God bless